Becoming a True Invader
by Hero Zero
Summary: Zim loses his Invader title, so to prove his worth he plans to invade the strongest planet he knows. A tale of intergalactic adventure, doom, humor, doom, some romance ZAGR , but mostly DOOM. Can our former Invader succeed in his overly ambitious and craziest goal yet? Supporting OCs in later chapters.
1. Fall of DOOM

"MINIMOOSE! Plug in the power modulator!" Zim yelled. Minimoose answered with a *squeak* before plugging in the giant power cord.

"Finally! After five earth years I, ZIM, will re-establish communications with the Almighty Tallest. GIR!"

"Yes, my master!" The defective little robot answered his master's call with a red glow before switching to his usual blue color.

"Now listen, Gir, this is the new communications systems I've constructed to communicate with the Tallest. It took far too much time to get all those parts back, so I DO NOT want you to replace them with biscuits again."

"But I had to put them somewhere after you said you never wanted to see them again."

"Then why did you keep making more?"

"Biscuits get me all tingly inside."

"...Which is why I had them burned."

"The fire made me tingly too!"

"Computer, call the Almighty Tallest!" The computer did as Zim said. The monitor started blinking before a loading screen with a deranged monkey appeared slowly eating several colored berries. It would first eat a red one, then a green one, then a blue one, repeating the cycle. Strangely a yellow berry had managed to sneak its way into the monkey's hand. Zim started pondering the purpose of this loading screen. He found the sequence entrancing for some reason.

"I love this show," Gir said after a very long pause, breaking Zim out of his trance-like state before the Tallest suddenly appeared on screen. "Aww."

The tallest had not changed in those five earth years. They were still eating junk food as they've always been, but the surprise of seeing Zim had made them freeze.

"My Almighty Tallest, it has been a while since I've last contacted you. My communications system had some … issues, so I had to fix it."

"TINGLY!"

"Shut up, Gir!"

It took a moment for the Tallest to register the situation before finally replying. "Zim? We hop-er...thought you died or something," said Red.

"Yes, well, your sorrows are no more. I am quite as alive as ever, and look!" Zim moved back to reveal the changes made during the past five years on his body. "I've discovered the Filthy Earth Worms' secret to being tall!"

Red stared, stupefied at this anomaly. Thoughts of disgust, sadness, anger, fear, and a weird hint of lemon filled his mind. The awkward silence was broken by Purple.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-" Purple screamed continuously as Zim started his explanation.

"It all started five earth years ago while I was on a covert reconnaissance mission..."

* * *

Zim was watching TV with Gir, having nothing to do since his communications system was broken. The current show featured a boy sitting at dinner with his mom. He was poking the vegetables on his plate before asking his mom,

"Do I really have to eat these vegetables? There gross and icky!"

Zim sat there with a plain look on his face. The situation had intrigued Zim, with an unchanging expression on his face he thought, _Hmm, these filthy earth babies seem to fear these "vegetables". Maybe if I could harness there powers I could use it to bend the earth scum to my will. Yes, yes, OPERATION: ATTACK OF THE VEGETABLES! No, this plan is missing something. It just doesn't say doom. I got it! I'll call it OPERATION: ATTACK OF THE VEGETABLES OF DOOM! It's perfect! I'll be able to conquer this planet and have it in my iron grip of DOOM! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_

A second later the boy's mom in the TV replied, "Now Billy, if you want to grow up big and strong you have to eat your food."

An enthusiastic Billy replied, "Really?! Neat!" before scarfing down the plate of nutrients. Instantaneously, he gained a superhero physique and flew away, never to be seen again.

"That's my boy," his mother said.

"That it, Gir! If I eat the filthy earth food, I'll be as big and strong as Billy. Nothing will stop me when I'm tall! I'll be able to rain chunks of eternal chaos onto this filthy planet!" Zim said as he started to laugh maniacally.

"Yay, I'll make some waffles," Gir answered enthusiastically.

"No, Gir, I'll have to eat REAL earth food, and you put some questionable content in your waffles. I'll have to eat the main source of the filthy earth worms' diet. Food, from the CAFETERIA!"

The next day at skool, Zim started poking his lunch as usual. However, this time he was determined to eat it. Slowly he used his fork to pick up his lunch meat and started opening his mouth.

"OH MY GOD! Zim's eating the cafeteria food!" Zita yelled in shock.

"No kid in the right mind would eat that!" The letter M said.

A small boy with a hippo-sized head looked on. He saw this as his chance to expose Zim, despite how little evidence he would have with this accusation he thought it was worth a shot. Dib jumped on top of his table and yelled "See! ZIM IS AN ALIEN!"

"Hmm, Dib might be right, no human would eat the cafeteria food willingly." Sarah said. The kids started mumbling to each other about the possibility. Zim was thinking of putting the food down to avoid suspicion, but he came too far to stop now. Quickly he put the meat in his mouth and swallowed.

_This isn't too bad,_ thought Zim, _actually it's kind of tas-OH THE PAIN! THE SEARING PAIN! IT'S LIKE MY SQUEEDLY SPOOCH HAS BEEN TWISTED EVEN MORE THAN IT SHOULD! THIS UNBEARBLE PAIN! AWWWWW! I LOATHE IT AND AT THE SAME TIME I AM JEALOUS ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF PAIN IT CAUSES!_ Zim had fallen on the floor and was sprawling in pain.

"Nope, he's human alright, if he wasn't then he wouldn't be reacting like this," Zita said. Zim regained his composure and despite the horror he just went through, started eating the mashed potatoes, and again was rolling on the floor in pain.

"The horror! Oh, the horror!" screamed Sarah.

"The little dude has guts," said Torque Smackey as he ate his organically healthy lunch he brought to skool everyday, curiously he always brought it in a lunch try that was the same as the one's used at skool. Dib would have pursued his usual endeavors to expose Zim, but seeing Zim in pain like that caused him to roll on the floor as well, laughing at Zim.

* * *

"...And now five earth years later I am now this tall specimen you see before your eyes." Zim ended his flashback. Never figuring out it was specifically the skool's cafeteria food, along with the secret unknown chemicals it had contained, that had caused this reaction in his body.

"-HHHHHHHHHHHHHH-" Purple was still screaming at the sight of a tall Zim before being hit by Red.

"Shut up, I'm trying to watch the flashback," said Red, "See, now I missed it!"

"This is bad, what do we do, WHAT DO WE DO!"

"Uh, excuse us for a moment Zim." The Tallest moved away from the screen and faced the other way.

"We can't have Zim return to Irk no matter what! What if he's taller than us? He would take our title as the Almighty Tallest! Imagine what he could do with that power!" Purple said.

Indeed Red was imagining. He could see it all, Irk was a barren wasteland while the broken remains of the once tall towers littered the area. The flames of carnage were evident. Destruction, mayhem, disaster, he could see it all. Even the r+++++++++uins of Irk's former glory were scarce. The once all powerful Irken Empire had collapsed.

"HE COULD TAKE OUR SNACKS!" Red replied.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I don't want to lose my shakes, my donuts, my sweet, succulent donuts."

"We have to exile him again, this time with no means of returning, but how."

"Do we still have Invader Skoodge?"

"Huh, yeah, he returned from Hobo 13 despite being used as a hammer against Hogulus. He said he got better or something, but what good would Skoodge do? Unless you're thinking what I'm thinking."

*Gasp* "You really think about me that way? I'm flattered but I don't swing that way!...maybe."

"...I'll just ignore that comment, anyway, just follow my lead. Zim!"

"Yes, my Tallest." Zim answered.

"You're exiled."

"Hahahaha, my Tallest, you're humor has no limits."

"No," said Purple "You're a stinky Invader, and you suck, and...and you're stinky!"

"Heh?"

"You're s-"

"Huh?"

"You s-"

"Heh?"

"You're s-"

"Huh?"

"You s-"

*squeak*

"Ah, Minimoose, that's where you are."

"Zim," Red said "I hereby revoke you of your Invader privileges! You are no longer Invader Zim, but Zim!"

"The stinky, sucky, stink thingy of sucky stank," added Purple.

"End transmission. I think he took it well."

Zim had no hehs or huhs this time. Just a shocked look on his face with his jaw open. He just stared, not blinking, at the monitor. It broke his mind, all that Invader goo inside of him was just declared gone. He had lost the giant radioactive pants in his veins.


	2. Skoodge of DOOM

Skoodge trudged through Zim's reaching the toilet then flushed himself into the base. The doors opened to a frozen Zim with his jaw dropped. Skoodge himself was at awe by Zim's height, but he had a mission to complete. Zim's SIR unit had noticed him.

"Hi Skoodge!" The energetic robot said while waving at him.

"SIR unit, point me to Zim's spaceship," Skoodge commanded.

"Okeydokey. It's over there." Skoodge walked in the direction Gir pointed at. He entered the ship's cockpit and inserted a disc. The ship started to smoke and the sound of frying circuits filled the air. It was enough to wake Zim from his state of shock.

"What, smoke, Skoodge? Where did you come from?" Zim said.

"I was launched by the tallest to fry the circuitry in you ship to prevent your return,"

"Launched?"

"From a cannon. HOO-HA!"

"And you didn't get burned from the intense speed and atmosphere?"

"I did but I got better, HOO-HA!"

"And just how are you suppose to get back?"

"The Tallest told me to take your ship or something."

"Yes, yes, I see. Hmm. Yes. Hmm, hmm, yes. Hm-WAIT, you just FRIED my ship! You can't get back at all!"

"Oh."

"Oh, it matters not anymore. I'm no longer an Invader, I've lost my pants."

*squeak*

"Oh, Minimoose, your words of deep, philosophical encouragement cannot help me. When did you learn those words anyway? I never programmed those into you."

*squeak*

"Reading?"

*squeak*

"Sophocles you say?"

"Zim, if I may interject," said Skoodge "You still have your pants on."

"I do?" Zim said while touching his legs to check for the pants "I DO! You're right, Skoodge! The Invader pants are still as tight as ever! Zim is still an Invader!"

"But Zim, if you're an Invader what do you plan to invade?"

"I'll show the Tallest my TRUE powers! I'll commence in the biggest invasion they've ever seen! I'll-uh, I'll..." In truth, Zim had no idea what to invade. He did not know many planets that the Irkens haven't invaded yet. Then it hit him, faster than the loading screen with the monkey.

"I, ZIM, SHALL INVADE IRK!"

"Yay," Gir said.

"WHAT? Zim, I'm afraid I would have to tell the Tallest about this as soon as I can!" Skoodge said.

"SILENCE, SKOODGE! Now, Minimoose, what shall I do to this little pest."

*squeak*

"OF COURSE! Join me, Skoodge! Together with Gir and Minimoose we could rule the GREATEST EMPIRE THE UNIVERSE HAS EVER SEEN!" Zim then started laughing in joy at the thought of the idea.

"But...but, I obey the Tallest! They...the Tallest...control my being being. Without them I'm just a-a, Tallest..Tall...Est...ARRRRGH!" Skoodge's mentality was shattering. The idea of hurting the tallest was unheard of. The hamster wheel that was his brain was empty. The hamster had left it and chose to drive some real wheels before crashing into the wall that was his scalp. The hamster was homeless and died. He was then cloned and then returned to his original wheel, where he learned that it was the only time he was truly happy. It was mind boggling.

"Skoodge! Look at Zim! Am I not tall? You shall obey Zim, the new Tallest!"

"Okay."

"Now, we just need a mode of transportation to Irk."

"The Tallest did mention `or something' when they sent me."

"That's it! Or something. Now, let us all laugh in unison to establish our new order! You too, Minimoose!"


	3. Truce of DOOM

Zim was preparing his disguise for Hi-Skool. His attire did not change much, aside from obvious size changes to his clothes to accommodate his increased height. The only noticeable change was his hair; it was, as the earth worms called it, _in-style_, it was flat with the hair going around his head covering a greater area, but Zim did not change it for the foolish purpose of style. In actuality, it was a shield generator he had invented. It did not shield against lasers, fire, or bullets, but it did stop his mortal weakness, water. Now he no longer had to worry about the acidic rain touching his Irken flesh. He left after eating Gir's waffle. Gir was not happy with that.

He had a plan to return to Irk, but unfortunately it involved Dib. With his ship fried, Dib now had the only working Irken spaceship on the planet, aside from Tak, but Zim decided it was best to not inform her of his plans.

Zim would've loved to just destroy Dib in some way, maybe torture him with an endless army of jackolopes, maybe try to suck the fluids out of his gargantuan head so that it would be a tolerable size, maybe force HIM to eat cafeteria food. He couldn't however, ever since Dib inserted his personality into Tak's old ship it wouldn't help Zim, especially after their first encounter. Zim had seen the Dibship recently and found it's behavior quite similar to..._certain_ other humans in their teen years. Zim found it quite repulsive. Dib was the only one that could get the Dipship under control so he knew that obliterating Dib would cause him to be trapped on earth forever. He had to do the unbearable, form a truce.

As soon as Zim walked on campus, something touched his PAK and activated the self-defense system causing a laser to fly out and but it missed the threat.

"Huh, what, DIB! Trying your foolish attempts to ambush me? Hey, how did my laser miss your big head?" Zim asked.

"For the last time, my head is NOT big!" Dib replied. Dib had also didn't change much over the years, the same clothes but a different height. The glasses, the big head, still the same. The hair strand thingy on his head had grown much longer though. He still pursued Zim everyday however, he ended his vain attempt to expose Zim since it wasn't working no matter how hard he tried. He decided to be the one man defense against Zim, covertly keeping the human race save from aliens. "And I was just trying to figure out your evil scheme for today, as usual, and thwart it, as usual."

"Well, sorry to burst your giant head bubble but I'm not trying to enslave humanity today. In fact, I'm not going to enslave your pitiful race ever!"

"LIES, HORRIBLE, HORRENDOUS LIES!"

"No, really."

"Really?"

"Yes, I'm actually returning to my home planet for some vengeance of doom, but my ship isn't working so I need the Dibship."

"Doesn't Tak have some spare ships or something? Why don't you ask her?"

"...I'm not going to respond to that, Dib. I'm going to stare into your wormy core, like a mongoose hunting its prey. The mongoose questions its prey's stupid choice of walking closer to it. It wonders why, Dib. Why does the prey walk towards the mongoose? Why is the prey that stupid? They prey knows that the mongoose would feast on its innards like a fat man at an all you can eat Bloaty's. So the mongoose asks, Dib, are you stupid?"

"Well, I see you still haven't gotten over the incident. Anyway, why would I help you? I've given myself the responsibility to stop you at all costs!"

"Foolish Dib! I'm not trying to harm your filthy, slimy earth race! I'm trying to take over my own!"

"Really? So you aren't going to plot anymore evil schemes against us?" Dib asked, he almost sounded a bit sorrowful.

"YES!"

"So I won't be Dib, Lone Defender of Earth anymore?"

"Will you not take yes for an answer or something!"

"Okay, okay, but it just feels kind of sad."

"Yeah, yeah, earthen sorrows and whatnot. Can I get the Dibship?"

"I mean, here's my arch enemy and I find out he quits, and I wasn't the one who made him do it."

"The Dibship, in your yard, I want it, gimme."

"I devote my life to stopping him, but now I know it was all for waste."

"I WANT the DIBSHIP."

"It's like my life has no purpose anymore!"

"CAN I HAVE THE DIBSHIP OR NOT!"

"Quit your whining, can't you see I'm angsting for character!"

"What do you want me to do, PRETEND you DID stop my earth conquest?"

"Yes."

"INSOLENT FILTH! Fine! -ahem- OH NO! I've been foiled for the last time by Dib! I've lost! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

"Okay, that's f-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"St-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Zi-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"ZIM!"

"What, can't you see I'm pretending to say my last words as I act out my final moments?"

"And how do you see your final moments?"

"Falling into a vat of demonic rubber duckies that are slowly nibbling my gooey flesh."

"Have you been taking earth substances or something?"

"Aside from your disgusting Cafeteria food, NO!"

"Well, that's still not enough. What about all those painful times over the years, like-like the time you threw me into a slow motion explosion!"

"You tried to trap me in a horrible, spooky dimension inside your big head!"

"Yeah, well you tried to destroy my brain!"

"You tried to expose me on a cruddy TV show!"

"You tried to trap me in a room with a moose!"

"You had my skin peeled and liquified to destroy a lice monster!"

"How is that my fault?"

"I don't know but I'm blaming you anyway!"

~LATER~

"You-you hit me with a muffin!"

"YOU hit ZIM with a muffin!" They both had run out of moments of pain they had committed to each other over the years, so they just stared at each other with similar scowls. The look in each others' eyes lit a burning fire of destruction after being reminded just how terrible those five years were. It was like two ogres clawing at each others neck, both dieing at the same time. Then the oozing blood extinguished the flames of malice.

"So we're even," Zim said.

"Yeah, I guess, so you're really never going to enslave humans and instead conquering your home world?"

"Can you let me use the Dibship or not?"

"Depends, can I come?"

"Huh, why?"

"One, because the Dibship hates you and won't fly unless I tell it to, and two if you're going against your own race, known for enslaving other worlds, then if I join you that would make me a Gaurdian of the Universe or something."

"Yeah, sure, whatever, maybe you're die on a star or something,"

"Okay," Dib rushed to the stairs leading to the skool before jumping on the railing, something he's practiced and used far too many times, mostly done to look cool or threatening (it wasn't), and shouted, "I'll still be keeping an eye on you!"

"FINE," Zim said as he entered the skool. Despite the ending of a five year war, there had been one casualty that day. Both of the former rivals failed to notice a lone figure siting in the shadows of the skool. She wore a black dress that went down to her knees over a purple T-shirt. She had purple striped leggings and black boots on. Her long purple hair contrasted with her skin, which was even paler than usual. She had the unfortunate timing of sitting there when Zim's laser went off. She was lifeless, the look of death was apparent on her, but she was not dead herself. She had only registered the situation a moment ago then she swore out in vengeance against the one who committed the travesty that befell her.

"Zim, I will make you suffer the tortures only found in the nightmare realms of hell, ones even the devils find too cruel to use. I will make you pay for destroying my GameSlave!"


	4. Gaz of DOOM

Zim had gotten out of skool a little later than the rest of the students, him and Dib had to face punishment for arriving late to class, punishment that he would rather forget, forever. Dib went his separate way to prepare the Dibship for its interstellar voyage while Zim decided to walk home and prepare for his new invasion. Along the way he was able to observe his former wormy victims.

_Filthy earth slime, I'll be glad to leave this planet's disgusting worms and their disgusting ways, like those filth over there, playing with their smoke in a glass. Look at them, acting like Triglorian Tefahues during a Burning Ogm ritual._

_Ha! Those two female worms over there, intertwining their bodies in a pitiful attempt to reproduce. What a foolish act, even I'VE studied enough earth reproduction to know they won't produce an offspring. What silly, silly, arousing, silly worms. Wait, did I just think something I didn't mean to think. LIES, I AM ZIM, I have full control of my mental capacities!_

_Is that Keef behind those benches? With a squirrel? Oh right, I did the thing with the thingy, yeah, good moments...OF DOOM! I applaud you Keef, for being the living embodiment of my ULTIMATE POWER! I amaze myself by how well that plan worked. After all these years, still believing that squirrel is me, ZIM. Look how he hugs the fake Zim squirrel, yes, and how he touches it and how he...huh...what is he d-OH LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY! Just the thought of Keef thinking that he's doing that with me, Zim, makes my insides c-AH AH, CURSE YOU VIVID IMAGINATION OF MY BRAIN! Focus Zim, just keep walking, you're almost to the base, it's right there, just a little closer and that would be the last I see of the human race for a while. Just across the st-_

Zim's train of thought was cut off by the feeling of momentary pain. He had been pulled into a dark alley. He quickly got up to look for his puller. She was in front of him, a purple haired girl who was a bit shorter than Zim. The black and purple attire had made her blend into the shadows in the alley, but Zim knew who this was.

"You're Gaz, the sister of the idiotic Dib," Zim started "What do you want?" For a moment, Gaz said nothing, only glaring at Zim. She brought out a laser scorched GameSlave ES and only said one word.

"Vengeance"

Zim looked at the broken game system, he had known Gaz long enough to know what the item meant to her. He had observed her a lot since she was so different from every other earthling. She wasn't as stupid as the rest of her species and he was both on the observing and receiving ends of her dark abilities. Of all the earth worms he had met, she was the only one he had no hatred for, mostly due to fear, but also due to a liking for her ways, but it was mostly fear.

"I'm not scared of you, sister of Dib!" Lies, Zim had learned to fear two things while on earth. Gir on Halloween and a pissed off Gaz. Yet, he feared Gir more.

"FOOLISH HUMAN! YOU DARE CHALLENGE ZIM!"

He got no response, just a glare from Gaz.

"I-I AM ALL POWERFUL! FEAR MY MIGHTY IRKEN SPIDER LEGS!"

Again, just a glare.

"I HAVE A-A LASER RAY THINGY GUN OF DOOMY THINGS!"

Gaz used glare.

"AND...AND A PIGGY, FEAR THE RUBBER PIGGY!"

Gaz walked forward, despite his mighty piggy Zim was frozen. Fear that consumed him at this moment. Sweat was dripping from his Irken pores. "Wh-what do you plan to do to me," he asked sheepishly.

"Five years ago, I saw you do something in the cafeteria that intrigued me. I've always wanted to try it out on someone but my GameSlave made me lose my motivation to do it," Gaz said. She slowly brought from behind her back a toy beaver and a toy taxi, "but now that I don't have a GameSlave anymore I've regained that motivation."

"Five years ago? A toy beaver and taxi? What hap-oh yes, that time in the cafeteria. Hahaha, that was fu-AHHHHHHHHHHH-" Zim started screaming once Gaz had started her cruel punishment. Zim remembered this torture, it was unique technique he learned that made it so no matter how much pain is caused the victim won't pass out. He liked it because it was easy, but now it just hurts.


	5. DOOM Minimoose

"EXTREEEEEEEEEEEME SLAAAAAAW! THE ULTRA FOOD OF THE MILLENIUM! EVERYONE WHO HAS EATEN THIS SLAW HAS BECOME EXTREEEEEEEEEME! YOU WANT THIS SLAW, YOU LOVE THIS SLAW, YOUR LIFE IS NOTHING WITHOUT THIS SLAW! JUST ASK THIS SATISFIED CUSTOMER."

"My life was nothing before, but now with EXTREME SLAW I have a car, two sons, became an astronaut, committed polygamy, and bought California!"

"YES, YOU TOO CAN COMMIT POLYGAMY WITH EXTREEEEME SLAW. ANYONE CAN BUY IT! EVEN THIS HOBO!"

"DO YOU WANT SLAW?"

"Yes" -SPLOOSH-

"YOU HAVE YOUR SLAW, SIR! That'll be $78.95"

"Huh"

"EXTREME SLAW! BUY NOW!"

Note: extreme slaw does not let you live in a mansion or be an astronaut you can have two sons as long as you aren't ugly. this commercial does not support polygamy, if you commit polygamy your doomed self will go to jail. forever. buying california is impossible since i just destroyed it by the time you read this. extreme slaw can cause cancer, heartfailure, deadly bowel movement and acne. most people who eat extreme slaw experience worm babies popping out of their stomach.

This commercial was sponsored by Science With Professor Membrane"

"I love this show," said a little cyan robot.

"We should buy some slaw, Gir," said a pudgy, little Irken named Skoodge. They were casually watching TV until a faint voice was heard.

"GIR! GIR! OPEN THE DOOR! OPEN THE DOOR!"

Gir got up and looked out the window. "That's master," he said "He's being chased by scary, purple girl. He has a beaver on his head. Oh look, a leprechaun!"

"GIR! OPEN THE DOOR! PLEASE, GIR!"

"Shouldn't we open it?" asked Skoodge.

"I don't know," replied Gir. Skoodge decided to take matters into his own hands. He opened the door and Zim leaped inside while the Robo-Parents say their usual "Welcome home, son" line. Zim ripped the Robo-Mom out of the floor and threw it at Gaz causing her to fall back. Zim quickly locked the door and waited until everything was quiet.

"Skoodge, there's a crazed female human named Gaz out there that wants to kill me! Help me fortify the base!" Zim said.

"I'm on it," replied Skoodge, "SIR unit, defensive mode!"

"NOOOOOOOO!" But it was too late, the command was given. Gir flashed his red coloring before replying with a "Yes, sir!" followed by a return to his cyan color then jumping out the window.

"I FOUND MY PIGGY!...BOOM...Aww, it 'sploded."

The broken window was enough for a very pissed Gaz to enter the base.

Skoodge attempted to stop her, "Halt, I am a trained Irken Invader and conqueror of a world. Surrend-" He was hit by a toy taxi. Gaz leaped at Zim and pinned him to the ground.

"MINIMOOSE! HELP ZIM!" Zim screamed. Minimoose faced Gaz, both glaring at their opponent. Their stares were strong enough to pierce rhino babies. The tension string enough to bend butter knives.

*squeak* was the last thing said by Minimoose. He dropped on the floor and exploded into a mini-mushroom cloud.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MINIMOOSE! WHY! WHY! HE WAS TOO PURPLE TO EXPLODE! OW!" Gaz had hit him on the head with the beaver to shut him up.

"Hey, that hu-OW-STOP THIS!-OW-I'll eat your bab-OW-Please, I'll do anything!" Zim pleaded. Gaz considered the idea, then batted the toy beaver in his face, then she considered it again, before hitting him again, the sequence repeated until Zim had broken his fake lens and was covered in bruises.

"Fine," Gaz said.

"Tha-thank y-you," Zim said weakly. He passed out after that moment.


	6. Dibship of DOOM

It's been two hours since Zim passed out. Gaz was sitting on the couch watching Zim's TV. She stayed partially because she was the one who made Zim pass out but she mostly wanted to give him the terms of his new servitude, that and she didn't want to be around her own house with Dib.

Admittedly, she thought Zim was at least tolerable, unlike Dib. They both viewed everyone else around them as idiotic and they both had a taste for mayhem. She knew he would be pretty cool to hang around, if he wasn't so stupid. Finally, Zim started to wake up.

"Huh! Wha?! What's going on?! Why are you in my base?!" Zim said while pointing at Gaz, "And, and -sniff- Why am I charbroiled? GIR!"

"Yeeeessssss," Gir had been watching TV with Gaz, he was over having his piggy blow up and had the usual stupid grin on his face.

"Tell me why my flesh is cooked to a medium rare."

"Weelll, my piggy 'sploded so I decided to make some bacon. So I got fire and it got everywhere!"

"You were playing with fire? And NOBODY did ANYTHING?!"

"The computer put the fire out, it made me sad, then I ate my bacon, then I watched TV."

"Computer."

"Yes," it answered.

"Why is it that I'm the only thing that's burned?"

"You find the earth water acidic, thus being the only substance we have to put out fires, we let you burn."

"Yes, that was logical thinking of you, Computer. Now onto more important manners. You!" pointing to Gaz again, "Get out."

Gaz continued watching TV and said, "No, now make me a sandwich."

"You think you can order me, ZIM!"

"You said you'd do anything, so I want grilled cheese."

"INSOLENT GIRL, you will have none of my cheese goo."

"Do it before I knock your head off."

"Ha, you only got me before because I was unprepared. Now we are in my base and I am now fully not unprepared." As Zim said this the legs on his PAK grew and he reach for the Doom Lasers he kept stored in the ceiling. "I shall give you till the count of 5. 1...2...3...4..."

~5 minutes later~

"Here's your grilled cheese, Gaz."

"Took you long enough."

"So about pointing those lasers at you, I meant nothing by it so lets all forget about it."

Gaz took out the laser she had stolen from Zim five minutes ago, pointed it within an inch of his face and said, "Don't ever do that again."

Zim felt a bead of sweat drop, "I am no fool. Hey wait, what time is it? 1900 Earth Hours! I was suppose to see Dib about the ship an hour ago."

"What do you want with my stupid brother and his stupid ship?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"Fine, whatever, not like I care. Might as well go with you."

Dib had been working on the Dibship for almost four hours. It was one of the most boring things to have to bear with, mostly because he didn't actually get to do anything. No, by working on the Dibship, Dib was actually talking to it, and talking to it was...

_Dismal_, Dib thought.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT MY FEELINGS! YOU HEARTLESS, HEARTLESS BASTARD. YOU WANT TO GO TO SOME FAR AWAY PLACE AND LEAVE ME HERE!" The Dibship was on a two hour rant, a record for longest Wangst in Dib's book.

"FOR THE LAST TIME! YOU'RE COMING WITH US! CAN'T YOU GET THAT THROUGH YOU'RE THICK METAL PLATING!"

"You insult _me_? The only thing that can aid your quest to alien worlds? But wait, I'm just a loser aren't I? Chasing after aliens, bigfoots, sewer pixies, all to waste my life. Oh wait, that's your life isn't it?"

It was unbelievable for Dib. Him and the ship shared the same memories up to when he was twelve, but after that, nature developed the Dibship's life into something else. Without a Zim to give him a drive, the Dibship got a lot of time to think about his life as a loser. He became a monster that combined the angst of living as a teenage, mystery chasing, loser spaceship with the ability to taunt Dib for the large quantity of suck they shared. Thus, DIBSHIP the EMO-DOUCHE was created.

"Dammit, where's Zim, I can't deal with this any longer."

"It's always `I this' and `I that' with you isn't it? Well what about me? Where do I fit into your equation called Dib's life?! Do I get no love? Everything you talk about has to do with you!"

"You realize that by talking to me, you talk to yourself."

"I guess that makes you either highly emotional, an all-head jerk, crazy, or all of the above. Bubble in your answer."

"What is this highly emotional chatter?" Finally, Zim had just got to Dib's house, Gaz by his side.

"Finally," Dib said with a sigh of relief, "You can't believe what I went through. It was like having millipedes gnawing on your earlobes. FOR FOUR HOURS. Hey, what are you doing with my sis?"

"Due to some..unfortunate implications I have come to form a...treaty of...uh...ALLIANCE! Yeah, that's the word."

"An alliance, with Gaz, and she agreed?"

"Uh, uh, it is an ALLIANCE OF DOOM!"

"Zim broke my Gameslave so now he is my servant for eternity," Gaz interjected.

"HAHAHA, you have have to listen and do everything Gaz says? How pitiful!" Dib replied.

"Shut up, Dib."

"Yes, Gaz."

"Is the ship willing to fly?" Zim asked.

"Ask it yourself." Zim walked towards the bi-polar hunk if metal, he couldn't even get one word in before he was insulted.

"Well, if it isn't the teenager with a skin disease," it stared, "Tell me Zim, did you finally become a master of disguise or did everyone on earth lose hundreds of brain cells again?"

Zim didn't respond, he stared at the Dibship before walking around and checking certain parts. Zim did not want to converse with such a thing, all he wanted was to see if the flight capabilities still worked.

"Look at me, being treated like a mere object! No one cares about me!"

"I found the problem!" Zim exclaimed. "The ship must be bigger!"

"What?"

"Yes, of course," replied Dib, "It won't fit our teenage bodies anymore, would it?"

"Yes, we shall start rebuilding tomorrow!" Zim said.

"So you're just going to make me fat? Oh yeah, like that's going to make me want to take you to space. Obesity, solves everything. I'M GOING TO FEEL SO AWKWARD! WAAAAAAA!"

Zim ignored the Dibship's comments. "Yes, we shall rebuild, then invade! Now let us celebrate with waffle nourishment!"

"No," Gaz said.

"You deny Zim his waffle? Why must you deny the waffle!"

"No, idiot. I'm not going to let you go on your stupid invasion."


	7. Cheese Balls of DOOM

"Hahahahahaha, for a moment there, I actually believed you human!" Zim laughed, "To think, me being forced to stop invading! How stupendously stupid! It would never happen in an Irken lifespan!"

"Didn't you tell me that you were forced to stop invading yesterday?" Dib replied.

"Shut up, Dib, no one needs your feeble mouth sounds."

"No, really, I'm not going to let you invade," Gaz said.

"What? Why? TELL ZIM!"

"Becau-"

"TELL M-" Gaz had punched Zim before he would be stuck on repeat.

"You ever do that to me and you will get punched once for each time you repeat something. It's because you're my _slave_, Zim, and you can't be slaving when you're all the way on some stupid planet and I'm on earth, and, it's not worth my time to go to space."

"But, you can't deny Zim his invaderness! It's in my pants, SEE, I had Skoodge sew it on!"

"Does it look like I care?"

"You never look like you care."

"Exactly. I'm going to watch TV now, you can do whatever you want to the stupid ship, but if I see you off the ground I WILL get you and you WILL suffer. See you tomorrow." Gaz walked away, leaving Zim and Dib with the emotional UFO.

"How would she ever catch me if I'm already in space?"

"Gaz has power, Zim, power that I cannot fathom and she always gets her way. Do you know Iggins?" Dib said.

"No."

"You don't want to know Iggins."

"Is he that traumatized by her?"

"No, he's okay now. He's just really annoying and won't leave me alone during computer class."

"Yes, well, I'll see you tomorrow to work on the ship."

"You're still going to do this? Even after the threats from Gaz?"

"Hahahaha, foolish Dib, I'm Zim! I'll think of something!" Zim then left for his base.

"You know, I don't like friendships where I keep getting called a fool."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"You're still crying?!"

* * *

The next day had arrived. Gaz was inside drinking a can of Poop when Zim arrived at Dib's house with Gir and Skoodge. Dib was still coercing the Dibship like yesterday. Her TV watching was interrupted by a recording from her dad.

"Hello my son/daughter, how are you this fine/bad morning/afternoon/evening?" It asked. She didn't respond, the recoding just stared at her for five seconds before saying, "Good/How terrible. Do you love me?"

As the years went by and her Dad being home less and less she felt more and more apathetic to him. She came upon a realization when she was 13, her dad was an idiot. She pressed the yes button, mostly to make it stop bothering her.

"I love you too son/daughter!" Then it floated away. She walked over to the window to watch Zim and her brother converse. It was surprising to her how quickly they became allies...no, strike that, they were allied idiots. Nothing those two do with each other was surprising. Near them were Zim's stupid robot and his green...pet? Anyway, they were hugging the Dibship or something while Zim and Dib argued. Her boredom had gotten the best of her, soon her mind provided speech for the interaction between the two.

"How doom dare you throw poop at my Skoodge!" Zim yelled.

"Durr-what, your Skoodge there doesn't like soda?" Dib replied.

"Our weak doum alien bodies has the adversities to them duom soda liquids."

"Sory! I'll brush my alens anotomy wen I dur-du my stupid munster reserch."

"Yu cat'n pusobly firl yer dom jiatn hupo zise hede anay mur!"

"Ma-dur-'ed ant durdurdurdur..."

Gaz's brain had a stupid overload, she fell to her knees and held one hand to her head in pain. Only those two could be so stupid that the levels of idiocity become too intense for the mind to handle. She got back up to look out the window. The can of poop she was holding was quickly crushed as she saw an unpleasant sight. She could feel it, her anger reaching giant Tokyo monster levels. She was like the giant fish in a teddy bear suit and what she saw was the cyborg fairy stegosaurus that must be destroyed. She said only one word, "Grrrrrrr."

* * *

"What do you mean you don't like cheese balls?!" Zim yelled.

"...I never said anything about cheese balls. Let's just get back to working on the ship...and F.Y.I. It's not that I don't like cheese balls, it's just that dairy spheres creep me out," Dib replied.

"Creep you out?"

"THEIR CALCIUM-ENRICHED ROUNDNESS IS UNNATURAL OKAY! So, how do we make it bigger?"

"First we break it."

"Yeah."

"Then we make it bigger."

"Awesome, just give me the parts."

"The parts?"

"You forgot the parts! How do we make a ship bigger if we don't have any more parts!"

"Well, excuse me, Dib, but I thought that giant head of yours would've thought of something!"

"So it's my fault now?"

"Of course it is, but me, being the mighty irken specimen I am, forgive you."

"Why you!-"

"Hi spaceship!" Gir said to the Dibship.

"Well, if it isn't Gir, aka Zim's green dog, aka Government Man who comes from the government, aka the Rover who Raves, aka Stacy, the chubby lady hiding in the bushes."

"Awww, someone seems sad."

"What? I haven't been emo in 20 seconds!"

"I agree," said Skoodge, "This ship unit seems to be in extreme depression."

"And what are you going to do about it green eggs and ham?"

"Someone needs a hug," Gir said.

"Would the full contact between objects help?" asked Skoodge.

"I seen it on the shows."

"Then execute the action, HOO-HA!"

"NO, NO, GET AWAY FROM ME!" cried the Dibship, but the hugging began, "NOOOOOOOOOOO! I'M EMO NOT HOMO!"

Meanwhile, back with Zim and Dib.

"Yeah?!" Zim said.

"Yeah!" Dib said.

"Yeah?!"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah?!"

"Yea-"

"Well, after looking around the entire city for you, it actually WAS the last place I'd thought you'd be," Interrupted a voice. Zim and Dib turned to see who it was.

"Eww," said Zim in disgust, "I think my squeedly spooch twisted."


	8. Tak of DOOM

"Yes, it is I, the mighty TAK! Hahahaha!"

"We aren't stupid, Tak, we can see you right there," Zim said coldly.

"It's not like we're blind or reading some script or something," Dib said. Tak had also grown over the years, using the same methods Zim used, gained from her observations after noticing Zim's increased height. Thus, she suffered the same torture of eating cafeteria food daily. Yet, she was still shorter than Zim, much to her ire. To compensate, she equipped herself with even more highly superior technology than before, however, her desire for heinous revenge faltered a bit after...the incident.

So mighty was the incident that it ignited raging fire demons in Zim and Gaz. Both held even deeper contempt for Tak than before, deeper than the blow hole on a sperm whale. Zim wished for so long to see Tak get eaten by pandas. Gaz wanted to torment her by slowly removing the bones in her head, piece by broken piece. And Gir...Gir wanted to rave. Dib was indifferent about the incident.

Tak ignored the verbal animosity aimed at her, "Blah, blah, blah, anyway I'm not here for idle conversation. I wa-"

"Hey, you think that piece of metal in your head makes you look cool? It only exemplifies that you're a bi-AAAAHHHHHHH!" The Dibship was electrocuted by Tak using an electro-glove.

"As I was saying, I know about your situation, Zim. How you've been exiled again by the Tallests and how you plan to foolishly invade Irk. So I-" Zim stopped listening after that, he knew that there were only two possible things Tak wants from him, either to stop him or take away his Death Bee again. Either way, he had to run, but he refused to show Tak that he was backing down to her. So he merely bent his legs, while facing the other direction, and his legs just happened to be in motion. Unfortunately, he was caught by a grappling hook launched by a machine on Tak's forearm that she added.

"Did you just try to run away from me?" She said.

"No! I just happened to have my legs in motion." He responded.

"Can I start my flashback now or not?"

Zim wiggled around trying to break free from his grappling hook confines. "Sure, since I won't be going anywhere."

"Anyway, yesterday the Tallest called me..."

"THE TALLEST CALL YOU?!"

"Shut up! Yesterday..."

* * *

Red and Purple were on Tak's monitor, unbeknownst to Tak's increased height since she always transmit communications from the neck up. Both parties neglected this detail. Red then spoke, "So yeah, Zim is exiled again so we're going to need you to fry all those ships we gave you and then fly back in the last one, Invader..."

"...Tak, my Tallest," she replied.

"Right, so...HEY LOOK! WE'RE IN A FLASHBACK!"

"HELLO FROM THE PAST!" shouted Purple.

"Shut up, you're ruining the flashback."

"But I-"

"Umm, my Tallests?" said Tak.

"Huh, who are you again?"

"...Tak."

"What do you want?"

"You called me."

"We did? For what?"

"Uhh, oh right, the Zim thing," answered Red. "Here's the codes to fry your ships."

"Thank you, my Tallest. I'll be back on Irk before you know it," Tak said. The Tallests continued to mutter between themselves in the background.

"Since when did we have an Invader Tak?" asked Purple.

"I dunno, I didn't give her the Invader test," replied Red.

[End Transmission]

___So I-_

___Since when do you get to do narrations? OW!_

___What is with you and interrupting people, Zim? As I was saying, I did as the Tallests commanded. I inputted the codes onto the spare ships I had and started to prepare my leave from this wretched planet. However, as I was flying away, both Mimi and the ship detected an unknown presence. The ship was flashing red and making weird beeping noises._

"Warning? But nothing threatens an Irken Voot Cruiser! Computer, you are mad I say! MAD! Hey what's that?"

___Suddenly, the ship's engines died and my Voot Cruiser was spinning out of control. I only caught a glimpse of yellow and black before I crashed._

* * *

"...My ship was unrepairable, so I spent my time trying to figure out what went wrong. After much research, I figured only Irken technology was powerful enough to destroy my Irken ship. My conclusion: the Tallest were trying to strand ___**ME**_on this horrid rock! I am a bigger threat to them than you, anyway. By comparing my observations for reasons of your exile, I concluded that the Tallest had realized my increased height and sent a doom-weapon to stop me from leaving. Yes, it makes PERFECT SENSE! It's the ONLY possible explanation! Which is why I decided to join your conquest against the Irken empire."

"Say what?" Zim said in confusion.

"You know, that could've just been a b-" Zim covered Dib's mouth.

"Yes, it must have been them," said Zim in a "normal" tone, "So welcome aboard. Now about those ships."

"Oh no," Tak said, "I'm being the leader of this invasion. Skoodge, obey me for I am tall!"

"Yes, ma'am!" said an obedient Skoodge.

"Skoodge, obey me for I am taller!" demanded Zim.

"Yes, sir!"

"Curse you, Zim!" Tak yelled, "Fine I guess I'll...follow you. Ugh, I felt my brain blow chunks of putrid goo from saying that."

"Yes about your ships, I'm going to take them and mash it all together into one big ship. Got it?"

"Sure, it's not like I'm using it anyw-" Tak was hit hard and suddenly blacked out. A girl with purple hair wielding a baseball bat stood behind her.

"That was satisfying."

"Stupid female!" responded an angered Zim, "We need her to open her base so we can get all those spare ships!"

"Why would I care about your stupid invasion plans, Zim?"

"You!...YOU!...AHH!"

"Yeah, have fun spazing out. I'm going inside to check prices for a new Gameslave. I'll order you if I need you." Gaz returned to the house leaving behind a frustrated Irken, her idiotic brother, a deranged robot, a gullible alien, an unconscious alien, and a passed-out ship.

"Your sister gets on my nerves, Dib."

"Yeah. Hey look, I found Tak's button that opens her secret base."

"Excellent! Skoodge, Gir! Go to Tak's base and take all her ships."

"We gonna get more friends to hug," responded an ecstatic Gir. Him and Skoodge left for Tak's base.

"Are you sure we can trust them to do what they're suppose to do?" Dib asked.

"Eh, they'll make it back sooner or later. As for me, I'll be back in a few hours, I need to work on something," Zim said,

"What?"

"None of your business, Dib." Zim left for his base after his cold remark to Dib.

"Ugh, I feel dizzy." The Dibship had finally reawakened after being electrocuted.

"Oh boy, now I get to spend my time with you," Dib said sarcastically.

"That electric tingling feeling I felt, I was due to Tak, right?"

"Yeah, she-"

"Say no more, ultra dork! I know what this feeling is!"

"Yeah, she-"

"IT'S LOVE!"

"WHAT?!"

"I've read all about it! When you meet your fated lover, you get a tingling sensation all over your body, AND I HAVE IT NOW! IT MUST BE LOVE!"

"Have you been reading those Teenage Digest magazines again?"

"Don't judge me, Dibstick!"

"Look, Tak just electrocuted you. That's why-"

"Yes, ELECTROCUTED MY HEART WITH LOVE!"

"WILL YOU STOP INTERR-"

"WHAT IS THIS! MY BELOVED SPRAWLED ON THE FLOOR! NO SHE MUST BE DEAD!"

"SHE JUS-"

"My heart! It aches for my fallen lover! Oh the sapphire crystals that fall from my eyes. I must write an expression of my sorrows! Ahem, a haiku for Tak:

The heart disappears,

For Tak is no longer more,

Now black is the core."

"You're a ship! You can't love a living being!"

"The heart wants what the heart wants!"

"YOU HAVE NO HEART!"

"Of course, were you not listening to the haiku? It is now black. Nothing. Other emo stuff."

"YOU-"

"Oh, Tak, sweet, SWEET, DELICIOUS Tak! You've drank from the poison chalice and left none for me to drink."

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

"Oh, thine lips maintain remnants of thy poison. Mayest my kiss deliver upon me a quick death."

"That's it! I'm getting the Turbo Taser."

The Dibship leaned closer to Tak's fallen body, getting closer and closer while trying to not crush her. Suddenly, a mere millimeter away, another electric shock was delivered upon the Dibship. It arched back and fell over. A very annoyed Dib with a giant taser was behind it.

"I...I!...*sigh*...I'm going to get some Poop."


	9. DOOM Departure

___I feel so dizzy, like, like some grotesque metaphor-like dizzy. I...I...-blargh-...dammit, no vomit! Where's the vomit? Oh, right. Geez, am I dead? But, but I don't want to be dead! Please God/Buddha/Shiva/Odin/Zeus/Cthulhu/whatever the real afterlife deity is, all those times I said I wanted to die was an act! Mostly! Just let me live! I don't deserve to die! What's this? A LIGHT! NOOOOOOOOOOO! PLEASE, NOT THE L-Oh wait, it's just my vision. Thank you merciful God(s)! I can see! I CAN SEE! I CAN-NOOOOOOOOOO! It's that obsessive nerd with a bad, and puzzling, hairdo and that green alien dork whose brain might as well be ham! Wait, if I died, I would've been with Tak! Curse you cruel God(s)! What, OH MY GOD(S)! I see her! It's a miracle! She's alive! And...and, she's much smaller. They're all smaller..._

~Earlier That Day~

"Dib! Gaz has told me that you plan on going into space to chase your imaginary sci-fi demons again!"

The yell came from a floating monitor with an image of Dib's father. Image, not video. Due to the busy nature of Membrane's current project only audio was available, but he sent a still image to make up for it, not like Dib cared much anyway. He was in the middle of packing his stuff for his intergalactic quest while Zim and Tak were putting on the finishing touches of the Dibship.

"They're called aliens, dad."

"What do foreigners have to do with this, Dib? And that still doesn't change the subject, I need an answer young man!"

"I'm a...getting into the field of Astronomy."

"Good son! You've finally taken an interest in real science. Don't worry, Gaz, your brother is only going to study giant flaming balls of gas, nothing to worry about. Now if you'll excuse me kids, I have to discover a deadly new virus, cure it, then add another wing to the science institute in memory to those who died of it. Have fun now. Oh, remember to put some bread in the toaster!"

"Why are you even helping Zim?" Gaz started, "What happened to hating him for five years?"

"Oh trust me, Gaz, I still hate him, a lot, but I've been given a chance here. Finally, I'll get surefire proof of alien life forms. No one will call me crazy anymore! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Yeah, too bad you'll never get to go."

"Maybe. Zim said he had something prepared for you."

"Something?"

"I dunno, he didn't tell me. Got me kind of worried though, something that could force you has got to be scary."

"He can't hurt me."

"I don't think it's some sort of physical torture, maybe a bribe, or worse blackmail, but your secrets seem like the type that are better left unsaid."

"I don't have any secrets."

"But you keep a diary, don't you?"

"It's not a diary, it's a Vendetta List, so I can keep track of all the people I need to hurt, and how many times I need to do it."

"But you still write daily events in it, don't you?"

"Yea-wait, how do you even know I had something like a diary?"

"Uh, brother's intuition?"

"Dib, you looked at it, didn't you?!"

"Please, Gaz, it was an accident! I was only looking for my Mysterious Mysteries DVD!"

* * *

Outside, a tired green Irken had finally finished the Dibship's "upgrade". His plan to invade Irk was finally coming into fruition. Now all he had to do was wait for his new, hated ally, Dib.

"Boy, was that tiring. Skoodge, I require amusement! Go hurt Dib or something."

"Yes, sir!" answered Skoodge.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the very audible scream had come from inside. It was certainly Dib's scream.

"Good work, Skoodge. I am pleased with you actions."

"Thank you, Zim," Skoodge replied despite not doing anything.

"I love you too, Skoodge!" shouted Gir, "You remind of a piggy. I love piggies."

"Thank you, Si-"

"Just like a piggy."

"Th-"

"A PIGGY!" The crazed robot started inching towards Skoodge, much to his confusion.

"Um, Sir unit?"

"PIGGEH!" Gir tackled the little green Irken. He was toying with Skoodge as if it were his other rubber piggies.

"Oh right," Zim said, "Gir gets like that sometimes when he's deprived of his pig for a few days."

"OUCH-How do we get him to stop?!" Skoodge asked.

"Usually I just drop him off at Bloaty's for the day."

"How can we-AHH!-stop this"

"I dunno, I never watch him. I just come back later. Of course, there's always a mushroom cloud whenever I come back, but I blame that on the filthy nourishment served there."

"This hurts, Zim!"

"Suck it up, Invader, you are Irken! You are strong!"

"Yes sir! I will cease my cries of pain!"

"Tak! Are you done in there?" The female Irken had been inside the Dibship for hours, mostly to put away all the supplies and work on interior construction. She poked her head out with Mimi by her side.

"Shut up! Do you realize the complexity of making an Irken ship of this size! The fact that we made one in this short amount of time is a wonder itself! Especially factoring in your stu-"

"Blah, blah, blah, just make sure everything works."

"Someday I'll vaporize you, Zim."

"Not if I vaporize myself first!"

"...Idiot."

The door to the house burst open to reveal a broken and battered Dib, his shirt was torn, his jacket had slash marks, his body littered with bruises and scratches, his face had some blood spots, and half of his ponytail thing was ripped off. He threw his bag of supplies forward and then collapsed on the ground.

Zim stared for a moment before remarking, "You did a really good job, Skoodge."

"Thank you, Sir," Skoodge said while still undergoing Gir's torture.

"Hey, it's the hippo boy!" Gir screamed, "And he's got fruit punch!"

"Zim," Dib said weakly, "Gaz is a fierce hell spawn sent by Hades, I hope...I hope whatever you have planned for her works cause otherwise...you're dead...ten times over."

"Ha! Rest assured you fat-headed monkey filth, my plans always work!"

"Again with the...name...calling...my head is not that big."

"Dib, just because you repeat something doesn't make it true. Now marvel at the glory that is the Dibship 2.0D!"

"I can see it, Zim, it's as big as...my house, how could...I miss it? And what's the 'D' for?"

"DOOM! That's how you strike fear into your opponents, Dib. By naming everything Doom! Tak! Get out here!"

"What do you want now, Zim?" she replied.

"We will now commence the testing of stealth!"

"You mean that stupid cloaking unit you installed?"

"Stupid cloaking unit of brilliance! Now activate the power." Tak took out a device containing several buttons and pressed the big green button in the center. The ship slowly lit up, then a loading screen with a monkey eating berries appeared on the front of the Dibship.

"MONKEY!" Gir shouted, he then ran to hug the screen, leaving an unconscious Skoodge.

"What's with the monkey?" Dib asked.

"For some reason this keeps appearing on all my stuff. It's entrancing for some reason, I would ignore it but I can't stop staring," Zim answered. After an uncountable amount of minutes, the monkey had disappeared and the screen flash 100%.

"Do you think he'll notice the size difference?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The Dibship had uttered his first word since his upgrade.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"What have you done with me?! I'm a monster, a horrible monster! My head, I never thought it could get any bigger! My nightmare is real and has begun! Now I have more emo material to write about. I must write a poem now!" The Dibship made grunts and attempted to move only to discover a new upgrade to himself, "I can't move!"

"Of course," Zim said, "I can't have you fly away before we begin our space travel, so I essentially disabled you."

"So now I'm obese and a paraplegic? It's like my emo factor got cranked up to 11! I can't even cut my own wires! At least I got to see the face of my beloved one more time."

"What a disgusting piece of metal," Tak replied.

"No barriers of disgust can deny our love, my beloved!"

"I don't get why you didn't replace the personality," Dib asked.

"Oh we wanted to, Dib," Zim said, "but me and Tak couldn't agree on whose personality to download."

"I'd kill you then myself before I listen to two versions of you," Tak said.

"Silence, just activate the cloaking device." Tak pressed another button on the device. Almost instantly the Dibship was in a masterful disguise.

"A GIANT SMILEY FACE?! MY DISGUISE IS A GIANT 32-BIT SMILEY FACE?!" screamed the Dibship. "WHAT HAPPENED TO INVISIBILITY OR SOMETHING?!"

"Everyone expects an invisible ship," Zim said, "But no one would ever suspect a smiley face to be a HARBINGER OF DOOM!"

"I. HATE. MY. LIFE."

"Mhm, of course you do. Is this your stuff, Dib? This small amount for an intergalactic journey?"

"It was all I could fit into that bag," Dib said.

"This is where my superior intellect will glow, Dib. Tak! Activate the giant sucking tube!"

"Ay ay, moronic captain," she answered. She pressed a button and a giant, snake-like tube jetted out and plugged itself into the window of Dib's house.

"It's a new feature I added, it will suck up any substance! It's quite versatile too, so it can do ANYTHING!"

"Hey Zim," Dib said, "About that room..."

* * *

What Dib had said was still lingering in Gaz's mind. It wasn't so much as this item Zim prepared to force her with that she was thinking about, but rather that Zim had the balls to threaten or blackmail her, even after what she had done to him. She considered that one of Zim's better qualities, one of the very, very few, but still, NO ONE THREATENS OR BLACKMAILS HER. At least, not if they don't want to die so badly that even their soul would shatter. However, she was still curious as to what it was Zim was planning. She wasn't worried about threats, she would make sure she lived long enough to payback Zim if it was, but blackmail was a different story.

Despite common disbelief, Gaz was still a human girl, so she had her share of secrets too. She did keep a dia-er-Vendetta List that record daily events, it was true that she used it to keep track of who to payback and how hard but she usually just records her daily events, so it wasn't used for its main purpose a lot, she also wrote down some of her inner, personal thoughts on the side.

___It couldn't be, _she thought,___I don't write anything down on the list that would be used for blackmail, at least, I don't think there's anything. If Zim did take it..._

Gaz would rather have been safe than sorry. She rushed to her room, locked the door and opened the drawer that contained her list. It wasn't there. She tore apart her room in a frantic search to make sure she just didn't misplace it. She couldn't believe that Zim would've been able to take it.

Suddenly, a giant tube came through an open window and started sucking up everything inside. Gaz hung onto her bed to avoid getting sucked in, but she watched helplessly as her clothes, books, stuffed animal drones get sucked up by the large hose.

* * *

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT WAS HER ROOM?!" Zim shook Dib violently.

"WELL, SOMEONE NEVER BOTHERED TO ASK WHETHER THAT WAS MY ROOM!" Dib shouted.

"TAK! SHUT IT OFF NOW!"

Tak was watching the predicament taking place before her with a feeling of glee. Nothing puts a smile on that Irken face of her's like a frantic Zim.

"Yeah, okay." She slowly turned the hose off. It retracted and Gaz popped out the window.

"ZIM, YOU'RE DEAD!" She screamed in furious anger.

"QUICK," Zim yelled frantically, "UNLOCK THE SHIP SO WE CAN LEAVE!" He didn't care anymore if Gaz didn't want him to go, he did not want to face a pissed off Gaz again. He would rather face her later than now.

Tak did not want to miss a chance of seeing Zim horribly brutalized, so she stalled for time by slowly pressing the buttons to unlock the ship.

"Anything you say, Captain." One by one she would press the button, to Zim it was like one minute had passed by with each button press, cause one minute really did go by as each button was pressed. "Oh darn, I inputted the wrong code."

"FOR THE LOVE OF MY IRKEN SKIN, ENTER THE CODE! GIR DEFENSIVE MODE!" Hoping Gir would finally actually activate its defensive mode, the robot gave a salute and turned red, before deactivating. It was too late anyway, the front door slammed open showing a very angry Gaz with a metal bat in hand. She slowly approached Zim. He froze as he watched his life flash before his eyes. Tak even left the ship to get a closer look.

Gaz lifted the bat, poised in position to strike before Zim suddenly yelled "PEACE OFFERING! PEACE OFFERING!" He waved a purple and green GameSlave in Gaz's face, stunned by what it was, she dropped the bat and grabbed it.

"Is this what I think it is?" She asked.

"If you think it is an embodiment of Irken genius, then YES!" Zim said while regaining composure. "I thought if I fixed the reason you were angry at me in the first place, I would null the contract and I would leave."

"No, it wouldn't."

"But it's even better than what if was before! Gaze at the device now known as Ultra GameSlave 3: Irken Doom Version! It works with all the other games you have and I put some games in the storage unit in the back."

He was right, she had pressed the button in the back that held the game cartridges to reveal several game titles: Vampire Piggy Slayer IV, Myth of Telza: A Bond to the Future, Lokemon, Hyper Venny World, Demons Could Weep, Angel Wings, Hyper Road Brawler IV, etc. Pretty much every title she ever had a desire to play was there. Gaz was in disbelief, she never got presents she actually liked from other people, well technically Zim wasn't a person so she still didn't, she would usually have to buy things herself. Everyone else avoided her, which she wanted, but this surprise was still...nice.

"Thanks," She mumbled.

"Since I was planning to leave, I used every remaining amount of your human paper I had for it. So can I go?"

"Sure," Gaz was still looking at all the games that were there. Zim then handed her a bag that contained more.

"All right, everyone, to the ship!" Zim walked away with a smile knowing nothing would stop his departure. Skoodge carried a deactivated Gir into the ship. Dib followed, with a look of disbelief after witnessing his sister say "Thanks" to Zim.

"That's it?" Tak yelled, "All that build-up and not even one injury? You humans are such mushy flesh-bags."

"Reminds me of our love, Tak," said the Dibship.

"I'll make sure to vaporize you too," Tak then walked into the ship with Mimi.

The crewmen had gathered and Zim had activated the thrusters that would take him to space. He set the course on auto-lock towards the first fueling station in space to make sure the Dibship wouldn't change its course. Dib watched Zim's motions, hoping to learn about interplanetary flight from watching him. Dib had asked Zim to keep the cockpit open so he could get one last good look at earth before he left for a while. Zim, however kept it open for other plans. The ship rose slowly. Meanwhile, Tak was on the opposite side of the ship, looking out at the wasteland of a rock called Earth, smiling happily as she won't be stranded there any longer.

"Soon, it will happen. HAHAHAHAHAHA-"

Dib whispered to Zim, "Are we really bring her along?"

"You see, Dib, this is all part of my master plan," he replied.

"HAHAHAHAHA-AHHHHHHH-" Tak was laughing maniacally when an object struck her and caused her to be launched out the ship. The object turned out to be Skoodge, who smiled at the thought of being useful to Zim. Seeing this, Mimi turned around only to collide with a flying Gir, launching Mimi out of the ship as well.

"Good shot, Dib-worm." The duo had smiles on there faces, knowing they won't have to bear with Tak for a long time. For once the two laughed with each other.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY LOVE!" Yelled the Dibship.

"Cease your screams, at least I gave you more stuff to be emo about," Zim said.

"Can I write a poem at the next stop."

"Yeah, whatever."

Meanwhile, Gaz had broken out of the trance-like state of amazement after looking at her new game system. She then pressed the on button, waiting to be immersed into her games, however the screen remained black. She was confused, then she checked the back.

"That idiot forgot the batteries!" She said, now ticked because Zim was leaving at this very moment.

Tak had landed face first on the ground, she was still conscious and got up, very pissed.

"FOOLS!" She yelled, "I'll just use my grappling hook to get back on the shi-" Tak was beamed by Mimi who fell from the ship after her. This time, she was knocked unconscious. Gaz saw her chance, she had seen Tak's grappling hook in action before, so she ripped it from Tak's arm and used it. The hook had caught on to the inside of the ship and Gaz started climbing up. Dib and Zim were shocked by the hook, thinking it was Tak, Zim ordered the cockpit to be closed.

"Wait," said Dib, "It's Gaz!"

"That's worse than Tak! Maybe!" Zim said.

Gaz climbed into the ship, grabbing Zim and said, "You stupid idiot, Zim, you forgot the batteries."

"I did? Oh right," Zim reached into his fake hair and pulled out two double As. Dib and Gaz stared at Zim for pulling stuff out of his wig. "What, it functions as a containment unit too."

Gaz placed the batteries into the system and turned it on. "Alright, now take me back to earth."

"I can't," Zim said. "Auto-lock is set so no one, not even the pilot, can change its course. I did this to make sure Gir wouldn't do anything stupid as usual."

"Wait, so I'm stuck here?"

"You're stuck here?!"

In unison, Gaz and Zim yelled "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" as the ship's cockpit closed and flew into space. Thus beginning the interplanetary adventure.

* * *

Hours later, Tak had regained consciousness. She grabbed Mimi who was lying next to her and opened her Sir unit's head. A screened popped out showing a figure bathe in shadows. No features can really be made out, as his shadow was just a cape, but with eyes.

"I'm sorry, sir," Tak said, "I was kicked off the ship."

The figure spoke in a smooth, velvety voice that was like chocolate to the ears and with a Spanish accent.

"It matters not, Tak, did you place el bicho on la ship?"

"You mean the bug, right?"

"Yes."

"I did, sir."

"Then la plan will still continue. I'll send for your pick-up."

"Huh, what, sorry, I was distracted by your voice. It's hard to get used to."

"I get that a lot, but focus, do you have el diario?"

"I have it right here." Tak took out a notebook from her pocket. It was purple and black and was heavily locked. The cover only had one word: Vendetta.


	10. Skiball of DOOM

Tak was sitting on a hill on the outskirts of town after sending her coordinates to her new employer. She had gathered what little of her remaining items she had left after Zim flew off with all her stuff. At least she still had Mimi, who was now waiting patiently with her. Despite failing to be a spy on Zim's ship, at least she didn't have to bear with that moronic Irken, the purple freak, the failure of a species with an abnormal head, the pestering robot, the midget slave, and that horribly disgusting, lovesick, monkey ship.

"You know, Mimi, it's times like these where I can finally have some quiet time to think. I can relax, lie down, and think about all those beings that I hate. They piss me off so very much." Mimi just tilted her head and looked at her. Tak took it as a sign of agreement.

A loud noise interrupted the cold silence of the hill; a large rectangular ship with what looks like plane wings descended from the clouds. The force of the winds made by the ship were powerful enough to shave the hairs off a nearby squirrel. Keef would be a happy boy the next day. The ship completed its landing and the doorway opened to reveal...

"I am Lard Nar of The Resisty! I..what, that's it for our big reveal? No flash, no sparkles, there's not even a lot of suspenseful build-up leading to this!"

"WOOO! Go Resisty!" yelled a levitating cone-being.

"No, it's too late Shloonktapooxis, the moment is ruined. Now lets just pick up this agent the Employ-AHH!" Nar had just got a glimpse of the agent he was sent to pick up, needless to say he was not pleased to see an Irken in front of him. "You're the agent we're suppose to pick-up? An Irken?"

"Do you have a problem with that you horned freak?" Tak said.

"What are you doing working for the Employer?"

"The Employer? Is that what we're calling him now?"

"Well, Spleenk suggested the name 'The Shadow Being' but it gave too many of my crewmen nightmares. Myself included. The Employer liked the name."

"I can see you are one of the more powerful of your species."

"Hey, we Vortians are a race of high intelligence! Just look at this ship I made!"

Tak took a closer look at the ship made by the little Vortian. After looking at the shoddy craftsmanship long enough, she noticed some peculiar things about the ship. "This is just a stolen Irken dumpster unit with thrusters and two wings attached to it. The wings aren't even properly attached, they're stapled."

"Well, obviously it takes a genius mind to make something like this capable of intergalactic flight."

"Well it-..I!...You...shut up."

"Just hurry up and get on the ship."

Tak grabbed her things, then she and Mimi walked into the smelly ship. It was a lot roomier inside the ship, mostly due to the fact that there was only one main room. Upon looking at the rest of the members of the Resisty, she was met with a most unpleasant sight causing her to barf a little in her mouth.

"What is it?" asked Nar.

"Never in my lifetime have I seen so many ugly beings together in one room," she said. The was a brief silence in the room that broke after Shloonktapooxis had looked left and right before replying.

"She has a point you know." Immediately, Ixane, the hooded purple alien ran away crying.

"Now look at what you've done!" Nar yelled at Tak, "You made Ixane cry!"

"Do I care?" Tak said, "At least she had enough sense to put a hood to hide her face!"

"You insufferable brat. Like your species is of the fairer kind!"

"Obviously."

Almost immediately the room was crowded with noise from the remaining aliens. Some were crying about their ugliness, others vented their anger, Shloonktapooxis was singing a song about rainbows and bunnies. Then, a green blob creature threw up on Tak. Tak couldn't take it, she wanted out of this ship. She grabbed Mimi and opened her head to bring up a screen with the shadowy figure.

"...And then I said 'this is el punchline, idiota!' Huh, oh, sorry I have another transmission. Si, what do you want?" asked the being on the monitor.

"Sir, please, don't make me get on this ship with these freaks! These ugly, ugly freaks! It's like I'm on some intergalactic hobo train cart! Of all beings, why them?!"

"You interrupted my call to sexy muchachas for this? Do you think I have el tiempo to deal with your complaints? Live with it, Tak."

"...yes sir," Tak spoke in a bitter tone.

"Bueno, now adios, time to see if this next number gets me a muchacha." He hung up.

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

"Hey you," it was Nar who had just finished calming his crew down. "Hurry up and get strapped down, we have to scour this planet and gather vital resources for the Employer."

"Gee, how delightful," Tak would have that bitter mood in her for a while. She only took joy out of the hope that Zim was having a worse time than her. The green blob returned and vomited all over Tak again. The chances of Zim being in a worse situation was not very likely.

* * *

"AAAAHHHHH-OW-AHHHHH-OW-AHHH!"

"YOU! STUPID! GREEN! ALIEN! FREAK!"

"AHHHH-I'mnotstupid-OW-I'magenius-AHHHHH!" Gaz had been beating Zim up since they left Earth's atmosphere. She did not want to leave Earth, she had no care for aliens or Zim's stupid ideas, plus, there was no pizza on the ship.

Gaz paused in Zim's beating, "Take me back to earth, NOW!"

Zim looked at her with the same frightened look he had when she got revenged for the destruction of her Gameslave. He opened his mouth slowly to reply, "NEEEEEEEVAAAAAARRRRR!"

Gaz tossed Zim aside and walked to the control station. She had dealt with Irken technology before and had shown to be quite adept at using it, for a human. However, this ship was a different matter, she had not seen anything similar to these controls. She decided best to not try anything at the risk of doing something horribly stupid, instead, she walked towards Zim's body.

"Tell me how the ship works, or else."

"I'll never talk." Zim's tenacity had surprised Gaz, he usually gave in when too much pain was involved. He earned a little respect for that, but now she had to hurt him. Hard. Gaz had tied Zim to a slanted board and wrote numbers all over him. On his face, 50, each eye, 40, the body, 30, and each limb, 20. Leading up to him was a ramp with Gaz on the other side with a tied up Skoodge and Gir.

"How did you even think up of this?" Dib asked.

"You'd be surprised at how many creative ways of revenge you can think of when someone steals your tickets at Bloaty's," Gaz replied, "Now, Zim, tell me how to operate this ship."

"Ha," Zim scoffed, "If you think such a simple method of tor-OW" Zim was beamed in the stomach by a rolling Skoodge.

"I'm sorry, sir!" Skoodge said before rolling down a chute leading back to Gaz.

"If you think that's enough to make me ta-" This time Gir had landed in Zim's mouth.

"Hi master! My butt's in your face!" Gir then got up then ran back to Gaz "I'm gonna ride again!"

The process was repeated until Gaz grew fatigued from rolling. She felt her limits but she refused let others see it. "This is your last chance, Zim."

Zim was badly beaten, Dib had kept tally of Gaz's points. She scored 2,380. Zim turned his head weakly towards her and said faintly, "Never."

"FINE! I HAVE VIDEOGAMES TO PLAY ANYWAY!" She threw Gir headfirst into the wooden ramp, causing his head to breach the wood. She stormed off angrily.

"You can have Tak's room," Dib said, "It's the room to the left."

Gaz took her new Gameslave and went into the room. Dib went to untie Zim from the board. Zim stood with a triumphant look.

"Wow, how did you manage to stay conscious?" Dib asked.

"I'll tell you a secret, Dib," Zim said, "I didn't." Zim blacked out and was left lying on the floor.

"My head is in a tree!" Gir said.


	11. Bazaar of DOOM

"Hey, listen! Hey, listen!"

"Huh, what?" Zim had regained consciousness and was awoken to the sight of Dib.

"We've stopped."

"Really?" Zim ran to the front of the ship to have a look out. Indeed, they have arrived at the fueling station at Fuelia Portia. Conquered by Irkens, then abandoned for being too barren, re-colonized by Vortians, then destroyed, then a different planet was moved to replace the empty space (since Irkens didn't like large gaps in their universe), and now a melting pot for trading and re-fueling.

"The first step has been taken, Dib-monkey! We are now one step closer to our ultimate goal! HAHAHAHA!"

"Hey, before we do anything, mind telling me your invasion plan?"

"I go in, DOOM, Armada invades, I win!"

"Wow, that is the most well thought plan I've ever heard, its so well thought out that it's STUPID."

"I see where the Dibship gets its attitude from now."

"Think about it, Zim! You don't even have a plan to cause DOOM, you don't have an Armada, and you ___never _win!"

"What are you implying?"

"YOU. HAVE. NOTHING!"

"Ha, shows what you know, Dib, obviously your pitiful human mind can't grasp the complexity of this perfect plan."

"Oh man, I can't believe you actually had no plan. Please tell me you weren't like this when you first invaded earth."

"If you mean a total Mastermind, then yes!"

"Zim, you're planning to invade the strongest race in the universe, and you can't even conquer a planet that hasn't even recognized other space beings!" Silence filled the air and Zim just looked at Dib with malice. Everyone was still, except for Gir who was apparently playing twister with Skoodge.

"WE HAVE NO ARMADA!" Zim yelled after having a stunning revelation.

"You just FINALLY got that message?!"

"Hmm, I'll raise an army, Dib, a band of intergalactic warriors bent on the Doom of worlds to aid me in my conquest."

"And..."

"And I'll do some shopping!"

"What?"

"We need supplies, that's why I chose this as the first stop. Let's go, I need a butt monkey to carry all the stuff."

Dib let out a sigh before agreeing to go. "At least I'll get to learn more about alien technology."

"Skoodge, watch the ship. Gir, come with me."

"Yes, sir! HOO-HA!" Skoodge went back to his twister game, which he was losing. Not due to inflexibility but because Gir extended himself to touch all the spots, constricting Skoodge. Gir rewound himself to his regular form before prancing back to Zim. "I get to go shopping with master!"

The three left only to be greeted by the Dibship "Hey! Degenerates! Aren't you forgetting something?" Zim and Dib looked at each other with a confused look. "I'M STILL A CRIPPLE HERE!"

"Oh, right," Zim said. He pressed a button on a gauntlet he wore. A visible current of electricity appeared briefly on the Dibship.

"FREEDOM! SO LONG LOSERS! HAHAHAHaHaHahaha...ha...huh? I'm not moving? You lying loser!"

"Foolish Dibship, did you think I'd actually let you fly away? I only gave free control of your arms so you can write your poetry stuff."

"Forced into becoming paraplegic, what fate this cruel world has brought me! I'll write a book about this, it will be the living embodiments of my woes, a testament to the grueling obstacles I had to overcome, and it'll be on Oprah. I'll title it: Disbship: No Power Left. Page 1: 'The', alright, that was boring. Time to write haiku."

"Let's get out of here before he starts getting mushy over Tak," Dib whispered to Zim. The trio quietly left the Dibship to scribe his inner feelings.

"Beautiful green Tak,

My love is unrequited,

WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!"

* * *

"Please tell me why we have those smelly things, Lard Nar?" Tak asked in disgust.

"Do not talk about my crewmen like that!" Lard Nar responded.

"I was talking about those 'resources' we had to pick up."

"Oh, well, I don't know. The Employer said he needed them for the master plan so we just did as we were told."

"What possible use can he have with these things."

"Look, I'm not The Employer! SO STOP TRYING TO GET ANSWERS FROM ME! ARRRRGH!"

"What an angry little being you are." Tak had been with the Resisty for weeks now, or at least what felt like weeks to her. She still hated all of them, especially that little fleshy blob thing that keeps vomiting on her. She kept her sanity by constantly bothering the other aliens on the ship as their reactions pleased her.

"Hey boss," Shloonktapooxis said.

"Yes," answered Lard Nar.

"One of the thingies got out and now it's gnawing on the brain of that guy who has a floating brain for a head. I never knew a brain contained that much fluid, and how squishy it is!"

"What? Who let it out?"

"The Pirate-Monkeys, sir!"

"PIRATE-MONKEYS? ON MY SHIP! WE'RE BEING RAIDED! AHHHHHH-Wait, there are no pirate monkeys."

"Well that's what Spleenk told me when he opened the gate to let those things out."

"SPLEENK!"

"Y-yes sir," a tall, feeble green alien came to view. He had bruises on his face, probably from being trampled from the thing he let out.

"Why did you let it out!"

"It looked so sad in there so I thought it could use some time outside the cage. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Well go put it back in its cage."

"Yes sir." Spleenk left and then a message popped up on the monitor. It was a transmission from the Employer. Lard Nar greeted his boss when the shadowed figure popped up on the screen.

"I trust that los recursos are safely on el ship?"

"Yes, sir."

"Bueno, now let me speak with Tak."

"Sir," she said.

"I want you to open el Diario to March 2nd about 3 years ago. I'm going to patch you through to un decodificador on Fuelia Portia that I contracted. Show him la pagina so he can try to decipher it." The transmission fizzled out once the Employer had finished his sentence. Tak knew what page he was talking about as they had discussed this before. She tried herself to figure out what it meant but she couldn't find anything. All the page contained was a written report of the day (which harbored a personal secret from Gaz that she found amusing) a couple of doodles of Zim being hanged (once again, amusing) and the rest were just scribbles. The transmission found its signal and a hooded figure appeared on the screen.

"So, I heard you were looking for my services?" He said.

"Yes, I wan-" Tak started.

"Well look no further! We have all the best from the far reaches of the galaxies! We have your Blue Dust, Gurgle Pops, Dye Pills..."

"Hey! What is this? An ad? And are those Direct Recoding Uber Gels?"

"Why yes they are, miss. Only the best for our customers. If you are satisfied with our selection then you have the option of getting a gel customized specifically to suit your senses, we're promoting this new service under out new tag line: The D.R.U.G. for your mug! There's no other sensation!"

"Boss," Shloonktapooxis said, "Can I get the Grilly Pillies?"

"No Shloonktapooxis, D.R.U.G.s are bad," answered Lard Nar.

"Well we also do mail order ice-cream. Guaranteed to be full of larvae!" Said the hooded D.R.U.G. Dealer.

"Wait!" yelled Tak, "Are you the decoder or not?"

"Yes I am, and if you get your decryption today then you can earn the chance to be entered into our raffle to win a Harkabo pet, almost guaranteed to not eat your face off!"

"JUST DECODE OUR MESSAGE ALREADY!"

"FINE! Jeez, a guy can't make a sales pitch without having to decipher some secret message nowadays. Now lets have a look here."

* * *

Gaz had left the ship before Zim woke up. She decided to get some fresh air, or whatever atmosphere this planet has, to relax. She was still angry at Zim for not telling her how to get home.

"Who does he think he is resisting my will," She muttered to herself. She was amazed though, at the fact that she was actually on an alien planet. The planet's surface was a mixture of organic and inorganic life, mostly metal with patches of green scattered around. It was like walking through the Death Star after someone barfed on it. She could easily tell she was in some sort of market district, half of the aliens were trying to sell stuff to her. She would occasionally glance to see the exotic environment surrounding her, but what caught her eye was something familiar, a TV monitor, or at least something very similar to one, and a hooded alien talking to it. Even more familiar was the person he was talking to: Tak. Then she saw it, her diar-er Vendetta List in the hands of Tak.

"Okay, so maybe if you take the letters on this page and rearrange them you'd get a message, here, I'll do it now. 'I will kill him' no wait, that was already written there. You know, this whole thing sounds like it's written by a very disgruntled girl-" The decoder was knocked away by Gaz who had rushed the screen.

"You!" Gaz yelled. Tak was shocked at the sight of Gaz, she didn't want her plans to be revealed so quick to Zim. She had to think quickly to avoid suspicion.

"Uh-This Vortian plushy is all the rage in all the known galaxies," Tak had picked up Lard Nar to show off the "product".

"What?" voiced a very confused Lard Nar.

"Yes, it even comes with a voice box with several phrases built in."

"Put me down you vile little-" Tak had used her hand to cover Lard Nar's mouth.

"But within the next ten minutes and you will get a-a cone-thingy hat accessory for your Vortian!" Tak had grabbed Shloonktapooxis and placed him on Lard Nar's head.

"Hey, boss," he said, "Cool hat."

"Cut the act, Tak," Gaz said.

"I knew you weren't as stupid as Zim," Tak said.

"Why do you have my Vendetta List?"

"You mean this? This isn't your list."

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't."

"That's the symbol I wrote on the cover."

"This is a common symbol among teenage alien girls, it means secret in irken."

"That's my name on it."

"That's, that's!..."

"Hey, wait a minute. Are you on a spaceship right now?"

"Uh-" Tak cut the transmission. Gaz needed to get her Vendetta List back.

"Excuse me being of unknown specie," said a hooded figure that has recovered from being knocked down. "I couldn't help but hear that you were the writer of that message. Well, based from reading its contents you sound very unhappy. That is why I would like to offer you a happiness sensation like no other in the form of D.R.U.G.s! The new-" Gaz had kicked him in the face and walked away back towards the ship.

"No one reads my diary." She muttered.

* * *

"What's this do?" asked a hyper little robot. Dib, Zim, and Gir had been gone for two hours now. They had bought everything from fuel to weird looking parts that Zim thought would be useful. Dib was looking forward to examining all this alien technology since he was sure it would prove useful later on. Gir, meanwhile, was running towards every stand and bothering the vendors.

"This is a Hyper Reactive Cell Core that hold a googleplex amount of energy," responded the sales vendor.

"Can I eat it?"

"What? Of course not!"

"I'm gonna eat it!" Gir grabbed the core and swallowed it in one gulp. "There's an earthquake in my belly."

"You fool! That's a highly unstable core! Who knows what would happen!" Gir's body began to shake uncontrollably. Gir looked down at his belly to ponder the problem. The vendor quickly turned away in a feeble attempt to shield himself from the possible explosion. Suddenly Gir stopped. The vendor turned back towards the robot to see what happened. After deeming it safe to turn around, Gir's head exploded and launched straight up.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" yelled Gir. Zim walked towards Gir's still standing, headless body to survey the damage.

"You, are you the owner of that robot?" asked the vendor.

"Yes I am," Zim answered.

"He ate my Cell Core and someone has to pay!"

"Dib, give me one dollar of your earth monies." Dib hands him a dollar from his pocket. Zim turned around to grab the dollar and cut it into four rectangular pieces. He then offered a fourth to the vendor.

"What's this."

"This is a rare fabric from an unknown world that I picked up on my conquest. There is nothing in the galaxy like this."

"You think that flimsy piece of tissue is going to be enough to replace my core?"

"But this is the RAREST item in the galaxy! The planet itself is only known by select irkens and shortly after I left, IT WAS DESTROYED! HAHAHAHA! *Ahem* So this is one of the last remnants of that planet. It also holds a dark secret."

"A..a dark secret?"

"This piece is but one of four. If all four are gathered and you activate the voice command written of the fabric it'll summon a being from a PARALLEL DIMENSION NAMED G ORG WAZING TUN! A GIANT BEING WITH THE POWER TO DESTROY ENTIRE NATIONS!"

"GIVE ME IT! I MUST HAVE IT!"

"I don't know, you refused my earlier offer, but after reviewing my item I believe it would be better if I held onto it."

"I'll...I'll give you half my stock!"

"Deal, good vendor." The vendor tossed half the stuff on his shelves at Zim and received the fourth of a dollar in return. At that moment, Gir's head fell back down and hit the floor, prompting the headless body to go looking for it.

"I'm like a chicken!" Gir said. As Dib grabbed the remaining items, Zim grabbed Gir's body in one arm and placed Gir on his shoulder. "Now I'm a stereo! DO-DOOM DOOM DOOM! DO-DO-DOOM! DOOM DO-DOOM!"

"I can't believe that worked again," Dib said.

"It's all about knowing your target, Dib. The vendors here are all ravenous collectors. They can't pass up the opportunity of gaining a rare item." Zim said. They walked back to the Dibship who was now moved on from writing about Tak to making fun of the locals.

"Giant alien,

Ginormous body and yet,

All that space, no brain.

A hunched back loser,

Small and scaly, round and stout,

Highly primitive.

I would be saddened,

Weep and sorrow in corner,

If I looked like him." The Dibship noticed Zim, Dib, and a torn apart Gir. "Aw, did Zim and Gir get into a lover's quarrel?"

"You shouldn't talk about love, Dibship," Zim said.

"YOU'RE SO MEAN TO ME! WAHAHAHA!" While the Dibship was crying Zim re-paralyzed him. "I CAN'T EVEN WIPE THE TEARS FROM MY FACE! NOW IF ONLY I COULD SHED TEARS IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

When the trio entered they were greeted by Gaz who was sitting in the pilot's chair.

"Look, master, it's the purple girl!" Gir said. Zim dropped Gir on the floor due to shock. "The floor taste like feet!"

"Gaz human, you came out of your room. Uh-I'm still not taking you back!" Zim said.

"I don't want to go back," Gaz said.

"I'll never take you back!"

"I said I didn't wan-"

"NEVEEEEEER!" Gaz punched Zim to make him stop.

"Why the change of heart, Gaz," Dib asked.

"Somewhere in space Tak is in possession of something that belongs to me. Since she has an unhealthy desire to hurt Zim, even more than my desire to hurt him, we're bound to meet up eventually."

"Tak's in space?" yelled Zim.

"Yes, and I need to take back what's mine, then beat her up for touching my stuff. So, until then, I'm joining you on your invasion thingy."

"See here Dib! My armada grows stronger!"

"Two aliens, two humans, and a robot are hardly what I'd call an armada," Dib said.

"You're right, that is why we must choose our next destination."

* * *

"So el decodificador couldn't decipher the page?"

"No sir," Tak was not happy to report the failed mission to the Employer. She was even more unhappy with having to tell him about the other thing that happened.

"I knew that poor vendedor was worthless. I even bought this Blue Dust Gel from him. I don't even know what these things do!"

"I'd advise you not to do anything with them, sir. Oh and one more thing."

"¿Que?"

"I was-uh-spotted by one of Zim's companions."

"What are you talking about? According to the bug, Zim and Dib were still talking when you contacted that hombre."

"It was that purple one, sir."

"¡¿QUE?! I forgot she was still there. Now I have to tweak el plano once again, Tak."

"I'm sorry, sir,"

"No problemo, the best thing to do now is to listen to where Zim is headed next. I'll patch el bicho's audio to you." After about two seconds, Zim's voice could be heard on the ship.

"Skoodge, bring me the twister spinner." An audible flick and swirling of the arrow was heard. After it stopped Zim said "Alright, to these coordinates!"

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"What?" Gaz, Dib, Tak, and the Employer had voiced their reactions respectively.

"I love twister!" Shloonktapooxis said.

The Employer cut the transmission from the bug, "MAL DIABLO! What a clever yet stupid irken."

"Sir, what do we do now?" Tak asked.

"I don't know, go think of something." The Employer then cut the transmission.

"His voice is like red velvet cake to the ears!" Shloonktapooxis said.

Tak sighed from the stress. "Does anyone have a twister spinner?"


	12. The DOOM Planet Part 1

In deep space, the XZIXXLE Mark Quadruple-X was making a desperate journey to deliver cookie buns to the far regions of the Nether Planet. What the hell is a Nether they'll never know, since their brain is made of green mush, causing advance rages of stupidity. The crewmen were made up of an alien race called the Dusies, advance, yet stupid, traders from the Darchie Planet.

"Commander, we're picking up something huge on the radar," said the Dusie navigator. "Sir! It's approaching at high velocity!"

"Blast it to smithereens!" Exclaimed the commanding Dusie.

"Wait, sir," said another Dusie, "Look at the object!" The monitor on the ship lit up and revealed a bigger picture of the flying object.

"It's a happy face?"

"Lasers ready, commander," said the Dusie gunman.

"Wait! You can't shoot it down!"

"What? Why!?"

"I don't know why, but it makes me feel so happy. It's like all my bloodlust is gone, like I need to hug someone or else I'll EXPLODE!"

"Sir, that thing is going to collide with us at any moment! We must shoot it down!" A second later, the happy face on the screen became rainbow colored. "MUST. HUG. SOMEONE."

A second later the Dusie ship was no more. The huge happy face had collided with the ship causing it to explode into a million little pieces of metal and Dusie goo. The happy face was unscathed, then flickered until it reveal its true form, the Dibship.

"HAHAHAHA, such is the glory of Irken stealth technology, Dib-weasel!" exclaimed a joyful Zim.

"That was the fourth ship you crashed into, how come they never fired back?" asked Dib.

"I hit each ship with a beam that causes immense feelings of joy and happiness. It took years to develop, but the result was immense hugging. HUGGING THAT LEADS TO DOOM!"

"Yaaay! Exploding hugs!" Shouted Gir.

"I call it the Nick Beam!"

"Why is it called the Nick Beam?" asked Dib.

"Because, one, it's orange, and b, all the data that went into making this weapon came from an experiment I called Nick."

"Wait, isn't that the human you experimented on? Whatever happened to him?"

"What do you think is powering the laser?"

"What? You're using a human as an energy source! What makes you think I'd be okay with this?"

"The comforting knowledge of knowing I could blast you into deep space, filthy Dib. It comforts me like a fuzzy blanket upon which I drool on."

"You-YOU!-"

"We're here!" The Dibship was getting pulled into the atmosphere of a green planet. Slowly, the Dibship made contact with the surface of the planet. Zim, Dib, Gaz, Gir, and Skoodge made their way out of the Dibship. Dib and Gaz were shocked at the sight of the planet, it was just like Earth. There was grass, or at least some alien version of it, there were streets, though made of metal, not asphalt, there were houses that looked just like Earth houses. The only big differences were the inhabitants. They were humanoid beings, though rounder in their shape and green. Their skin was slightly transparent to reveal the blue goo in their body. They did wear fabric though, just like how humans wear clothes.

"Welcome to the planet of Fefa, inhabited by the gelatinous and nearly indestructible beings known as the Fefians. And...hmm, I believe I'm forgetting something here" Zim turn to the mechanism on his wrist to look up information on the planet he was on.

"It's amazing, Gaz!" Dib said as he started examining the environment. "A planet that's practically the same as earth."

"Ooo, a planet that's exactly the same as the one I hated before! The people here better not be the same too," Gaz said. She moved back a little only to bump into one of the squishy inhabitants. He was green and filled with blue goo like everyone else, he had two eyes and a mouth, he wore a green shirt and had no pants. It was probably the norm on the planet.

"Well hey therey! Say, the wonderfully weathery didn't called for invasionys today!" The Fefian spoke with an abnormally happy tone.

"Hey, Zim, did you hit this planet with your Nick Beam?"

"Of course not," Zim said, "The laser isn't big enough to affect a planet."

"Then this planet is going to make me barf."

"HA! Found the information. Planet Fefa, the Doomsday planet. Known for its indestructible inhabitants and daily Doom Weather."

"Doom Weather?" asked Dib.

"Today's forecast: Giant Slicy Ceiling Fan of DOOM. Ahem, I see, EVERYBODY DUCK!" A loud spinning noise filled the air as a giant spinning blade traveled across the land. The invaders quickly crouched to avoid having their heads decapitated by an oversize cooling device.

"Yeppy," said the Fefian, "The weather is right on the scheduloly!" The blade whirled over the groups' heads, the Fefian however took no measures to avoid the blade and was decapitated. The squishy head feel and bounced on the ground with a blood curdling scream as his blue liquid was streaming out of his body like a sprinkler that couldn't be turned off.

"SKOODGE! SKOODGE!" Zim yelled, "PROTECT ME FROM THE GOO!" Zim held up Skoodge like a meat shield, but due to Skoodge's small stature he wasn't able to completely protect Zim.

"The Dibship!" Dib shouted, "We have to protect it somehow!"

"Huh, what?" said an awakened Dibship, "I was in sleep mode, you turd, what do you-AHHH! AHH! Metal Blade! Oh wait, it must be a dream! I'm going back to sleep."

"IT'S NOT A DREAM!"

"Oh, AHHHH! AHHH! AHHHHH!" Zim touched the buttons on the wrist device he wore to deactivate the Dibship's paralysis. "I can fly! I CAN FLY! FREEEEEDOM! SO LONG BARFBAGS!" The Dibship zoomed towards the sky narrowly avoiding the blade of doom. Of course as soon as the danger was averted, Zim reactivated the paralysis, turning off the Dibship's thrusters. He came crashing down, causing a small crater. "My. Butt. In. Pain. Feels. Deformed. It's. Still. Better. Looking. Than. All. Of. You..."

"What the hell was that!" Gaz screamed.

"Obviously, a bigger-than-Dib's-head rotating fan blade designed to decapitate the inhabitants. I should take notes on this," Zim said. The headless body of the Fefian that was with them started moving towards Zim. The group looked at the walking corpse. Abruptly, the head of the Fefian popped out from his neck with a pop.

"Nothing like a helpingly helpful dose of decapititapititationy to get you going." He said with freakish glee.

"Oh I see," Dib said, "You pushed your head into your body to avoid decapitation."

"Nope, my head is right here!" The Fefian help up his decapitated head in his hand, still with the same look it had while it was being decapitated. The Fefian then opened his mouth to eat it. "Mhmm, chewy delighty!"

Zim, Skoodge, and Gaz stared at him wide-eyed, Dib barfed off to the side, Gir just looked at the Fefian with a hunger filled glare mixed with usual stupidity.

"Hey, HEY!" The Dibship shouted, "I don't care how disgustedly gross that squishy nerd is, if you haven't noticed, my ass doesn't thrust anymore!"

Zim moved towards the Dibship to have a closer look. "Indeed," Zim started, "The thrusters aren't fit for flying. That means we're grounded here until they can be fixed."

"How quickly can you get them fixed?" Dib asked.

"That all depends on what supplies they have here to fix this ship."

"Oh my wonderful little daughtery handles all the mechinicy doodads in this area. I'm sure she has something for you sentient shippy there." Interjected the Fefian.

"Surrender your daughter to me now or face my wrath!" Zim held a laser that was pointed at him.

"Oh ho woah there, buddy. My daughtery left the housey some time ago and I don't know when she'll be back, but hey, come inside and I'll fix yah a mealy. Think of it as payment for what our homely little planety has done to you."

"Hmm, I am interested in your species' indestructible nature, and commandeering a shelter isn't too bad of an idea while we're grounded."

"I'll follow you wherever you go, Sir." Skoodge said.

"Yeah, I'm going to go back to the Dibship. That thing he did with his head earlier made me lose my appetite," Dib said.

"Meh, I don't turn down free food," Gaz said.

Gir, who had started poking the Fefian, just responded with "He feels like jello!"

"Well, five makes a good meal party just as well as six does. My name's Blarby by the way." said the Fefian. The troop, minus Dib, started walking towards the house for some Fefa cuisine.

"Well, Dibship, looks like it's just you and me, please don't make any more sophomoric jokes," Dib said. However, the silence that followed was too unnatural. The Dibship would always have some sort of stupid insult to make no matter what. Dib turned around to find the Dibship staring at a lone tree on top of a hill.

"I want to go there," he said with a trance-like tone.

"What, the hill?"

"It's not just a hill, it has a tree on it."

"What's so special about a tree?"

"Don't you know, dirtface, a lone tree on a hill is a perfect spot for being emo."

"What?"

"The solitude of a hill, the symbolic nature of the lone tree, I MUST GO THERE!" The Dibship used his still moveable frontal tentacles to drag himself towards the tree. Each slow drag was made with great effort.

"How you spawned from my personality I'll never know."

* * *

Meanwhile, Zim, Gaz, Skoodge, and Gir were sitting at a dining table inside Blarby's house. The house was as frilly as it gets, white laces everywhere, ducky moldings on the doors and walls, and painted-on hearts everywhere, EVERYWHERE.

"So, I'm guessing your wife likes to decorate," Gaz commented.

"Oh, wifey isn't around anymore," Blarby said.

"You're an indestructible species, how can one of you 'not be around'?" Zim asked.

"I forgot. Now, save the chatterry for later cause everyone says I make delicious grubby." Blarby pulled out a knife yet there was no food on the tables. Blarby only brought his arm forward and sliced it at the elbow. He let out a scream as the squishy limb fell. He used his other arm to pick up a spoon and scooped up some of the blue blood that fell and poured it over the arm like sauce. "Who wants the first slice?"

"I dooo! Meee!" Gir was waving his hand like a little kid getting a sugar high off sweet tarts. Everyone else just looked at him, aghast at the sight of the alien proposing cannibalism, on himself.

"Here you go little roboty."

"Yaaaay-NOM-OM-OM-OM!" Gir ate the arm like a filthy pig, much to the disgust of Zim.

"Who wants seconds?"

* * *

The Dibship was grunting its way up the hill with Dib by his side. Dib never understood why the Dibship was working so hard just to look angsty, emos were weird to him. After reaching the top, the Dibship was filled with a sense of satisfaction, before suddenly screaming with supreme disappointment.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed the Dibship.

"What is it?" asked Dib.

"Look over there!" Dib looked in the direction the Dibship pointed its tentacle/arm, he saw a Fefian that was seemingly female, its not like he had great knowledge of alien anatomy, standing by the tree with a mopy look on her face. "Can't you see it, Dib, the black hair carefully styled, the black shirt leading to black pants finished by a pair of combat boots, the spiked collar, the spiked bracelets, the pale green skin tone. That, Dib, is a stinkin' GOTH!"

"So what?"

"I. HATE. GOTHS. How can I angst with goths around!"

"Just sit there and do your haiku thing about the dark void of a body you have."

"You don't understand, Dib, I'm an emo. That thing is a goth. EMOS HATE GOTHS."

"Says who?"

"The internet."

"What?"

"I joined an emo forum back on earth. I used your name."

"WHAT?"

"SHUT UP!" The yell had come from the goth Fefian, she had taken noticed of the two invaders of her sanctuary. She walked over to see just who was bothering her, "A sentient ship and some sort of weird fleshy being. What do you want?"

"GO GET KILLED BY A SATANIC RITUAL YOU GOTH!" The Fefian didn't take kindly to the Dibship's words.

"You, leave, or else I'll make you."

"HA! If you haven't noticed, Skullmuncher, I'm MUCH bigger than you are." The Fefian didn't care for Dibship's statement, even if it was true. Still, she lifted her leg.

"Boy, your brain has to be eaten by worms if you think a kick can move mEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" When the Fefian kicked Dibship, the force was strong enough to send Dibship rolling down the hill.

"No way," Dib said, "How'd you do that?" The Fefian moved some of the covering off her boot to reveal a layer of complex circuitry underneath.

"As for you," she started, "If you don't have a good reason to be here then I'll kick you down with your ship there." Dib did not want to be on the receiving end of any kick strong enough to move a ship, but he really had no reason to be there, so things were going to hurt quick if he didn't think of something.

"I was, a, hoping to examine the planet's natural vegetation?"

"That's a stupid reason." The Fefian raised her leg again.

"No wait! I-uh-my shipisbrokenandneedstobefixed -*gasp*- Iwashopingyou'dknowwheretogetrepairs."

"So, you're another space traveler looking for repairs on their ship."

"Please don't hurt me." Dib closed his eyes and moved his hands in a feeble attempt to protect himself.

"Fine, I'll do it."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"I didn't kick you." Dib opened his eyes and reexamined reality. He wasn't launched various altitudes into the air.

"Oh, wait what?"

"You're looking for a mechanic to fix your ship, I'm your mechanic. I'll fix that sentient space vehicle for you, but of course, there's a price."

"Um, okay?" Dib was a bit confused. Apparently he just contracted a mechanic to fix the Dibship's thrusters but it all happened so fast.

"Good, now lets go fetch that moronic ship of yours before more harm gets done to it. I'll negotiate the price later."

The two walked down the hill, following the direction of the rolling Dibship.

* * *

Zim, Gaz, and Skoodge still haven't touched the limb set out in front of them. Gir on the other hand was eating them as soon as Blarby chopped another one off.

"Skoodge, taste test this...thing," Zim ordered.

"Yes, sir," Skoodge wouldn't get the chance to taste it however. The moment he touched the arm the blue liquids had caused his hand to start burning. Skoodge fell to the floor holding his hand in pain, he started rolling around the room screaming.

"Strangely," Blarby said, "Your little roboty there doesn't seem to be experiencing any painy." Indeed, Zim found this odd, he decided to touch the blood himself. Just like Skoodge, an immense pain rang out in his hand. It was like fire demons doing the jitterbug on his appendage. He fell alongside Skoodge and started screaming.

Out of curiosity, Gaz decided to touch the blood as well. To her surprise, there was no burning feeling. She picked up the arm and found that she wasn't affected like Zim and Skoodge were.

"It must be unique to your species or something, Zim," Gaz commented.

"AAHHHHH-THAT MUST BE IT-AAHHHHHHH!" Zim yelled. Gaz started taking bites out of the arm.

"This isn't half bad." Suddenly, the Dibship crashed through the house and rolling over Blarby.

"If I had a heart, it would bleed, with pain..." Gaz assessed the situation around her. Zim and Skoodge were rolling on the floor in agony, Blarby was crushed, the Dibship seemed to be unconscious, and Gir was happily making a mess while eating the arm. Gaz decided to just shrug and take more bites of her Fefian arm.

Moments later, when Zim and Skoodge had lost all feeling in their hand and Gir was slumped over in his chair with a look of joy after eating so many arms, Dib and the female Fefian arrived.

"Dib! Why is the Dibship in even worse condition than before?" Zim's usual hand gestures were hindered by his numb right hand, which was just flopping around instead of doing anything.

"What happened to your hand?" Dib asked.

"Silence! Do not ignore the question!"

"Well, he rolled down a hill, but don't worry, I got us a mechanic who can fix this." Dib pointed to the Fefian that was with him. Zim looked at her, she just scowled back.

"You forgot, Dib-worm, I, ZIM!, built the new Dibship with my own two superior limbs. I can certainly handle this better than some silly, local tinkerer."

"Sure," The Fefian responded, "If you think you can repair the damaged Protean Axon Thrusters without any parts and that limp hand of yours then be my guest."

"Just let her, Zim," Dib said, "She has all the parts and could definitely fix the Dibship faster than you can since you have that numb hand right now. Also, I already sort of, made a deal with her."

"Since when can you make decisions? I'm the leader, ME, ZIM! But fine, if the little tinkerer thinks she can handle the repairs then go ahead. I'll just destroy Dib if you fail."

"Hey."

"I'll take that as a formal agreement," she said. Blarby started squeezing out from under the Dibship. Slowly, his green, squishy body would slither out like toothpaste. "I thought this house looked familiar."

Blarby had readjusted his body to the correct position. He saw the female Fefian and said, "Is it? It is!" He ran and hugged her.

"And here I was hoping you'd die for good."

"Oh, daughtery, I'm glad you're home again! I see you've seen the wonderfully beings here already. Beings, this is my daughtery, Kor!"


	13. The DOOM Planet Part 2

"Zim, ZIM! Dammit, wake up already!" Zim felt as if his brain had been liquidized and was slowly rebuilding itself. Words and thoughts were reforming in his mind and he had to wait before his brain could give out neural commands. He opened his eyes slowly to see Gaz right in front of him.

"Where am I and what is it?" Zim was confused, as far as he could tell he was in a normal-looking room on some sort of bed.

"You've been knocked out since last night, so we moved you to a room in Blarby's house."

"Ah, yes, the Fefian with the acidic blood and filled with more joy than my Nick Beam can give. Where is that disgusting being and the Tinkerer anyway?"

"In the destroyed living room, everyone's waiting on you so we can go check the weather for today."

"Yes, I'll be dead before I let something like giant balls of iron crush my body." Zim's head felt dizzy and tired but something was bothering him. Zim felt something wrong, actually, it was more that he didn't feel anything at all. It was like he was nothing but a headless body, he looked at his fingers to confirm that he was still in one piece. Then he tried moving them, but they didn't. He pushed his mental capacity to try to wiggle his finger, but nothing, and he soon discovered that it wasn't just his fingers. His body remained stationary no matter how much he tried to struggle. "MY LIMBS! MY BODY! I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING!"

"I know, I've been punching your body for an hour now." Indeed, Zim had just now noticed the fist that was being repeatedly jabbed into his stomach area. The door then opened to reveal Gir, holding Skoodge like one of his toy piggies.

"I wanna play touch the master too!" Gir said. He dropped Skoodge in order to rush to Zim then proceeded to extend both fingers and rapidly tap Zim with an overly gleeful look on his face. Skoodge was left lying on the floor, also unable to move.

"Skoodge," Zim said, "Tell me why my body has become like the Dibship."

"Sir, I believe it has something to do with that Fefian's blood. It seems that the blood we touch at around dinner causes intense pain leading into numbness, however I do not believe that's the direct cause to our numbing. I recall the Fefian spilling blood on us when his head was chopped off, which touched our currently infected areas. For some reason, it didn't cause pain and had a delayed effect but since you partially shielded yourself using me, you can still move your head."

"Really?" Gaz said, she then punched Zim in the head to reaffirm this. Zim yelled in pain. "He's right."

"If you're through punching Zim," Zim started, "Then carry me."

"I don't carry anyone."

"Well, I'd hate to miss finding out about the flying killer beetle attack and suffer the wrath of their laser eye beams, but I guess you don't care about being stranded on this planet since I'm the only one who can pilot the Dibship."

Gaz sighed in hatred, but he was right. She didn't want to stay here any longer than he did. "Fine." Gaz piggybacked Zim and started to walk to the living room. Gir picked up Skoodge and followed.

"Forward earth slave!"

"Don't tempt me." Dib, Kor, and Blarby were standing in the wreckage of the living room. The Dibship was moved to the hill after Zim passed out. Blarby was still hugging Kor just like when Zim last saw them.

"Dad, can you stop hugging me now!" said a very ticked Kor.

"Family houry means we share our joys and huggy!" Blarby said.

"Family hour started TEN HOURS AGO!"

"And I love every minuty of it!"

"I would stab you right now but you'd just regenerate and hug me more." Kor then noticed the two Irkens being carried towards them. "I see you've come in contact with our blood."

"Your observation and analysis skills should be commended, Skoodge," Zim said.

"Thank you, sir," Skoodge replied.

"Based on what I saw yesterday," Kor started. "You touched the blood from our head and arms. Unlike most species, Fefians contain different blood in their arms, legs, body, and head, each having varying effects, such as delayed numbing to intense pain."

"It's like having a rainbow of acidy in our body!" Blarby remarked.

"It didn't affect me," Gaz said.

"The blood only affects some species, notably Irkens," Kor said.

"Blah, blah, your blood is toxic to my superior flesh. Now let's go already, I'd be dead before I let a giant orbs electrocute me," Zim said.

The group walked out of the house and towards a large gathering of Fefians, all of which wore the same smile that Blarby had. They surrounded a structure that looked like a gazebo except filled with computer monitors. A short, stout Fefian stood on it and faced the crowd. "The mayor will now read the weather!" he said with a booming voice. However, nothing happened, no other Fefian stepped onto the gazebo and everyone wondered what was going on.

"Dad!" Kor said.

"Oh, righty, I'm the mayory! I must have forgoty again." Blarby began weaving through the crowd to the gazebo.

"Did he really forget that he was mayor?" Dib asked.

"You won't believe how stupid he is," Kor said.

"I've seen stupider," Gaz remarked. Blarby reached the gazebo and activated the monitors. He scrolled through all the numbers and charts before turning on his microphone.

"Today, it's going to be sunny with more sun! So the lighty will rain down on our smileys!" He said, "Oh, and today the sewagey will overflow and cause the contents to floody the streetys. The bacteria will infect our bodies and give us a deathly sicknessy! But after that, more sunny!"

"Did he say sewage flood? How exactly are we going to survive that!" Dib said.

"Don't worry," Kor said, "The hill is a special place here where it is unaffected by almost all the doom weather that we get. We'll be safe there."

"Ooo, a slow, disgusting death today, haven't had one of those in a while!" remarked a Fefian.

"Daddy, can I stand outside to watch the sewage geyser into the sky!" said a child Fefian.

"Sure thing sport, but only if I can watch with ya!" answered his father.

"Yaaaaay!"

"Ugh, all this happiness is going to my head explode." Gaz said.

"Oh no, girly," said another Fefian, "Save that for the Harvestia Day!"

"Harvestia Day?" Zim asked.

"It's the day where Fefa's native Zotis larvae rampage the planet and plant themselves into our heads. Unfortunately, our head blood provides vital nutrients causing them to expand and make our heads explode," Kor said, "Even the hill is not safe during this time, but the ship's engine just needs to charge so we'll be able to leave before they even get near here. You know, as long as nothing stupid happens."

"Nothing stupid, eh," Zim pondered for a moment before becoming wide-eyed and asked, "Hey, where did Gir go?" A look of terror appeared on their faces.

* * *

Gir had scurried to the Dibship with Skoodge in hand. Despite Skoodge's protest he ran on to see, in his words, "the sad metal ship thingy". They reached the hill where the Dibship was connected to a bunch of metal wires with the cockpit open. He was still activated after being worked on by Kor last night, while Blarby was still hugging her.

"Aww, the two special needs beings are-Hey! What are you doing!"Gir skipped the greetings and rushed inside with Skoodge. He saw panels open revealing several wires and circuits, metal tubes leading to who knows where. In Gir's eyes, it was a wonderland of shiny sparky things in one area. The sight of the electricity flow intrigued Gir, intrigued enough to want to touch/eat it. Gir dropped Skoodge in a way that caused him to face away from Gir, unable to see the future events.

"Sir unit? What are you doing?" Skoodge asked.

"The electricity," Gir said in a robotic, flat voice, "They wants me to play with them."

"Sir unit?" He heard the crackle of electricity, the clunking of metal crashing into each other. The shadow of Gir dancing manically due to the light of the sparks cast against the wall Skoodge was facing. "Sir unit! STOP! NO!" It was too late, Gir was in his zone.

* * *

"Faster! FASTER!" Zim was commanding his carrier, Gaz, with great anxiety. Zim had known about Gir's potentially destructive tendencies when alone but that hasn't been much of an issue to him until now.

"Shut up or I'll just let those larvae make your head explode," Gaz answered back. The group had rushed towards the hill as fast as they could, leaving all the other Fefians behind to wait for their bacterial demise.

"If your robot was so stupid, then why do you still have him?" Kor yelled at Zim.

"Though as stupid as the average earthling, Gir has proven a worthy tool in my quest for power," Zim replied, "However, the last time he was left alone with my equipment, I wasn't able to fix it for five years."

"Well, unless your head can survive five explosions, you better hope that robot didn't do anything!"

Things quickly fell silent. A rumbling shook the ground. The group noticed a vile odor mixing into the air. Soon, the streets were breaking like eggshells, slowly the disgusting sewage yolk was seeping through. The native Fefians quickly took noticed and acted in celebration. They danced and laughed as they braced for their daily doom. The seeping stopped for a moment, much to the dismay of the Fefians but to the group's delight. Suddenly, pillars of raw sewage flew straight up into the air, the brown chunks of waste fell onto the streets and Fefians liked chopped bacon bits. The group started sprinting as fast as they could and was doing everything they can to swerve out of the way of a sudden geyser of crap.

"THIS IS JUST WRONG! SO WRONG!" Dib yelled.

"Stupid dad, today's doom is earlier than he predicted!" Kor said.

"MY EYES! IT GOT IN MY EYES!" Zim yelled.

"This is so gross." Gaz said.

They reached the neighborhood where Blarby's half-destroyed house was, the sewage already covering the entire ground. The hill was in sight, the green foliage contrasting against the brown background was proof of its invincibility against this doom. Slowly, the Fefians were coming out of their homes, greeting the dropping sewage like ants having sugar sprayed on them, they enjoyed their brown wonderland and some even acted like snow was falling from the sky and stuck their tongues out.

The hill grew larger and the distance smaller, but the sewage was up to their ankles now. Each step was harder and harder to take, the fatigue of running was wearing them down. Gaz was especially tired, having carried Zim all the way. Though he provided a useful shield against the falling sewage similar to how he used her as an umbrella against the rain five long years ago, she really wanted to drop him to lessen the pain. She stopped caring about her lost di-Vendetta List in that moment, she stopped caring about Tak who had stolen it, she just wanted to be back in her house watching TV. She was sure Kor had some flight experience since she is able to fix them, or at least be able to command the autopilot, so the lost of a pilot wouldn't be that bad for her desire to go home. All she had to do was let go, things would be easier, and she might be able to eat pizza again in a few days.

She didn't do it. Despite the udder stupidity he had exhibited over the years, he had redeeming qualities; one, he was the only one she had met that didn't have straight fear every time she approached, proven by how he stood up against her initially on their journey, and two, he actually did a kind thing for her, on his own. Sure he was doing it to break a contract, but he easily could have just left, it's not like Gaz would actually waste her time tracking down Zim in space. So she decided to do this favor for him, to not leave him dying a slow death in Fefian waste. She'll help him this time, since it was just a favor.

By the time they reached the hill, the waste was almost knee high. Relieved that no more waste would touch them, the group took a break, or at least they wanted to. They had a more pressing matter to handle. This issue of a little robot that causes trouble due to its mental functions. They reached the Dibship which was hooked up to many wires and tubes.

"I feel so weak," The Dibship said, "lacking energy, so...so...DISGUSTING! My aroma sensors detect that your odor is even worse than the standard human waste product!"

"Not now, Dibship, did Gir come here?" Dib asked.

"Hello! Why do you think I feel so weak! That little thing messed with my pow-REMAINING POWER LEVEL: 0, COMMENCING SLEEP MODE."

"NO! NO! NOOOO!" Kor had rushed inside while Dibship was powering down. She witnessed the sight of a fallen Skoodge facing the wall and a Gir with cables in his mouth. Gir had seem to be unconscious as he remained motionless on the floor.

"Zim, are you there!" Skoodge yelled.

"Skoodge, what happened!?" Zim said.

"I'm sorry, sir, but in this paralyzed state I couldn't stop him. I could only see the shadow of the carnage before my eyes."

"One of the battery cells that power the ship is gone!" Kor yelled.

"Please don't tell me we're stuck here," Gaz said.

"No, your head will explode before long."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Harvestia Day is tomorrow, so unless you can come up with a replacement energy source in 24 hours, then you're dead."

"You mean I carried Zim to the point of exhaustion only to have my head explode by alien larvae!"

"Hey, I'm right here!" Zim said.

"Do I give a damn, Zim?"

"Calm down, Gaz, there's got to be something we can do." Dib said.

"Oh, there will be! I'd sacrifice my immortal soul before I live through another Harvestia!" Kor said. "At the earliest, I can make a new power cell in two days, the only thing stopping us is Harvestia larvae. Those things are as persistent and annoying as you can get. They won't stop until they suck every being's head juice dry."

"Foolish Fefian Tinkerer, do you not know you I am?" Zim said.

"Some egotistical twerp who craves power he'll never get?"

"NO! I am ZIM! The strongest and tallest of the Irkens! I am too powerful to let mere insects suck my brain goo. With my mind and superiority, I will destroy all creatures that stand in my way until I am the supreme ruler of their dead mindless corpse! These Harvestia larvae will never stop me, NEVEEER!"

"So I was right, except you're also stupid."

"Might as well try, it's better than just letting those things kill us," Dib said.

"Do you both need cyborg brains? Don't you think I've tried to fight these things? They overwhelm you before you can kill a fraction of their army. It's an unstoppable invasion!"

"Ha! These things invaders? I am an Invader, those things are mere insects marching towards there doom. As an Invader, the next step after Invasion is protecting what you control. Listen, Tinkerer, this ship is in my control, these servants are in my control, I will stop these bugs." Zim said.

"What can you do? I've tried protective headgear, super anti larvae repellent, robotic deathlords!"

"Hahahaha! All those plans lack the one component that only I have."

"And what is it that you have?"

"I have Zim."


	14. The DOOM Planet Fin: Explosions of DOOM

"What?" Kor stared at Zim with a confusing look.

"You have Zim! Me! The Ultimate Invader!" Zim said.

"So you're saying to use you as a sacrifice for the larvae to attack, then we find somewhere safe to hide. That's the plan right, cause I really want it to be right now."

"Snark on all you want but my plan is amazingly brilliant! Now it requires you all to work nonstop, especially you, Gaz, since I still can't move, but first, to get this vile smell off us. Gaz, you'll have to scrub soap on me then rinse me with glue."

"No, no way! I'm not going to give you a bath! Get like Dib to do it or something." Gaz said.

"Dib is going to run errands to prepare for the coming day."

"I swear, I'll kill you when this is all over."

"Yeah, yeah, and I'll send your particles flying into space. Dib, there are a lot of syringes in the storage area, go gather blood from the Fefians whenever they revive. Tinkerer, there are blueprints and parts in the room next to Dib's, go build whatever is on them. We shall meet again in 5 earth hours! Now to my room, Gaz!" Gaz hatefully obeyed Zim. Dib and Kor were left in the powerless Dibship covered in filth.

"Well, time to get to work then," Kor said.

"Hey, I'm just curious, but why do you care so much about this? I mean, you're invincible yet you're so aversive to dying," Dib said.

"Is there something wrong with not liking to die?"

"Well no, but still..."

"If you really want to know then it's going to have to be in flashback form."

"That's fine with me."

"Well, if you're so eager to hear a story then fine. You see, Dib, it starts with the issue of our planet's population's unique characteristic..."

* * *

The people here are immortal, so never having to fear death, they became perpetually happy. Originally, everyone felt pain and at least tried to avoid obvious death, however, as time went on and dying became more commonplace, the Fefians evolved to never having to feel pain. Or at least, most of them, a few are born with the ability to feel pain, me for instance. It feels _so_ great, watching everyone live in such joyous glee while you're left there to feel the pain they never will.

Before I continue on with that, I believe that one question you might have is how can our planet maintain a functioning population if everyone is immortal. To counter this, the planet functions on a one-to-one death:birth ratio, as in for every birth of a new Fefian, one must die. To streamline the process, one of the parents are killed, using the only method known to Fefians: eating, usually done by the spouse. However, my situation was once again a bit different. I was only six, playing with my mom and dad.

"Who's got your nosey? Who's got your nosey?" my dad was holding his hand like a fist.

"Daddy, give it back, it hurts!" I said.

"Now dear," said my mom, "you can't always have what you want."

"But it's my nose! I kind of need it."

"Kor, the only thing you need is your hopes and dreams."

"That has nothing to do with this situation, mom!"

"I love you, Kor, never forget that."

"Did you look up standard aesops parents say to their child or something? Seriously, I just want my nose back!" The doorbell rang suddenly, my dad tossed the nose for me to catch. He opened the door to reveal two Fefians, dressed in black trench coats.

"Blarb! How you doing budd?" said one of them.

"Matty! Chucky! Great to see you again," My dad greeted. "What brings you herey?"

"Oh nothing seriouso, Blarbo," said Chuck, "Justo routino checko results from lasto weeko."

"Oh nowy, don't tell me I'm terminally."

"Ahahaha, Blarb you kidd, you know that's impossi!" Matt said.

"Of coursey, I was just jokey, now what's the resulty?"

"Well, accord to our results, Kor there has two parents. One of you has to die." Matt said cheerfully.

"This wasn'ty brought up beforey."

"Oh yeah, we forgot! Hahaha."

"Oh you guys, hahahaha." My dad motioned to mom to come to him.

"What is it dear?" mom said.

"One of us has to diey now. I forgoty about this when Kor was born."

"Oh, me too, hahahaha! Hey, lets play Rock, Fefian, Zotis Larvae to decide who dies."

"I love that gamey, deary!"

"Rock, Fefian, Zotis! Zotis Larvae!"

"Fefian survive everything, you lose again deary."

"Oh, I always lose. Well, to the victor the spoils, dear." I watched as my dad unhinged his jaw and started eating my mom. They were no goodbyes, no "I love you"s, nothing but the sound of laughter from everyone, including my mom.

But that didn't end there, several of our games require bodily dismemberment, AND THEY WOULDN'T LEAVE ME OUT OF THEM. When I refuse, they just took my arm. I was forced to play pin the leg of the Fefian, dodge spinning saw blades, and musical bodies! How these beings ever got the idea to remove their heads for fun is beyond me!

As time went by I became more aware, the people around me couldn't feel anything, no pain, no sorrow, just unending happiness. It was sickening. With this lack of emotion and pain they no longer cared about each other. Stupidity grew rapid as they never felt the fear of danger. Motivation was nowhere as they couldn't taste the despair of failure.

I, too, no longer cared for any of them. I made it my goal to leave this cesspool of joy by learning how to build ships. I would gather parts from destroyed ships that happened to be caught in our planet's doom day weather. However, sometimes the crew and ship survive and they would ask for me to repair their ship, always I asked to leave the planet with them, but after spending time on the planet and witnessing the native's odd diet, the crew would always leave on their ship without me, believing that I was just like them. I would be left alone to suffer on this planet until another ship came by.

* * *

"So that brings me here, to you, the most recent crew to land on this planet. And I will either leave with you guys or watch as you burn on my planet's surface," Kor finished her story and took a breath of air after talking so much.

"Wow, that was really...dark," Dib said.

"You expect a happy story with unicorns from a goth?"

"Hey, what's going on out there!" Zim had yelled from his room. "I don't here any work being done for my stupendous plan! I only here flashbacking! Get to work, non-Irken filth! You too, Gaz, scrub harder!"

"I'm going to shower also," Dib said, "I'll see you in a few hours."

"Whatever," Kor started walking towards the room that held the blueprints. Harvestia was going to be more lively this year, and despite how stupid she thought Zim's idea was, she couldn't wait to destroy some of those larvae.

* * *

"So how was it, Gaz?" Dib teased his sister, beside him were several syringes of Fefian blood. The task was easy once they had regenerated, and due to their lack of care and overwhelming sense of joy, they happily gave Dib their blood.

"It was disgusting, so shut up about it," Gaz answered back. Kor walked towards them with a large crate in hand and what looked like a battery in the other.

"This is the only battery I could get my hands on, however, to have enough power for flight it'll need a 24 hour charge period, so we have to survive that long tomorrow," Kor then placed the battery to be charged, "Harvestia will begin two hours before it'll be done, it'll take one hour before they notice the hill and attack. So we have to live for one hour, after that we blast off and eliminate any remaining larvae."

"Yes, a plan of perfection, because it was made by me, Zim!" Zim, who had regained the movement of his right hand, pointed at the crate. "Now open the crate to reveal the rest of my genius, Tinkerer." Kor ripped out one of the sides of the crate, causing the fruits of her labor to come tumbling out.

"Gnomes? Seriously, Zim?" Dib said, "You're putting your faith in your five-year old lawn gnomes?"

"Gnomes of Doom, Dib, Gnomes of Doom!"

"You realize that your Gnomes have failed on several occasions before, right? I HAVE been able to sneak past them."

"Just go plant the gnomes on the hill, big-headed earth monkey, you too Tinkerer." Dib and Kor grabbed the Gnomes and headed outside the Dibship, Dib muttered something about his head not being big as he left. "Now for you, Gaz."

"Please don't tell me I have to change you or something," She said disdainfully.

"Even better! You will be my assistant for the creation of a new weapon, if it works, we live! If not, we're doomed!"

"After washing you, I already feel doomed."

"Grab the syringes, human, and onward to the lab!"

"I hate this trip."

"Do not worry, Gaz, by the time this is done, I'll make you a bringer of doom who weaves destruction as you walk, hahahahahahaha!"

* * *

Everyone watched the clock with the attention of a child watching the candy store from a window after the parent had to pry them out of it. The Dibship was now a makeshift fort, complete with barricades from Kor's last Harvestia survival attempt. It was the best defense that could be made given such short time. The cold air had settled in as dusk blanketed the planet. A shiver...

"What are you doing?" Gaz had appeared from the lab looking strangely at Dib.

"Nothing," Dib said awkwardly, "Just...just setting the atmosphere."

"Fine, whatever, but who are you talking to?"

"Uh..."

"The psychologist was right, you are crazy."

"Those tests had no scientific basis and you know it! Anyway is Zim done?"

"Yeah,"

"Then where is he?"

"Oh, right, he's still paralyzed. I'll go get him." As Gaz was getting Zim, Kor came with a still paralyzed Skoodge and still lifeless Gir.

"I brought the dead bot and this..."

"Skoodge," he said.

"That sounds more like something I scrape off my shoe than a name,"

"Cease the blabbering of Skoodges and shoes!" Zim was being dragged by Gaz who was also holding a basket. Despite still being paralyzed Zim maintained his maniacally gleeful look. "Tonight our fleshy heads live, minions! Behold, the manifestation of my succulent genius!" Gaz opened the basket and poured out its contents.

"These look like water guns," Dib remarked.

"They are, but better! I've analyzed the properties of Fefian blood to find their happy gene, then I bonded a chemical reagent to the glutaminic properties of the blood cell's mitochondria. The reagent causes a bursting effect when exposed to atmospheric pressure. I based it on an experimental happy goo project I was working on years ago. Now each gun contains these liquidic solutions that will be consumed by those larvae causing them to explode into doomy pieces!"

"There was not a single scientific word in there."

"Meh, I'll take it," Kor said, "Besides, even if it does fail I'll have at least one use for it."

"Fine, just give me one also. Now, it's important that they don't get into the Dibship, or else we'll be flying with larvae for a while."

"Ha, chances are those barricades won't last five seconds. Closing the glass would only mean more holes in ship to fix. The best plan is to leave it open, then close it once we get airborne. We blast a hole while in space, the larvae get flushed out into deep space and we block the hole."

"I don't know about that..."

"I like it!" Zim shouted. "We just need to make sure we have something big enough to block the hole." Zim thought for a bit before looking over at Dib.

"OH WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THE BIG HEAD JOKES ALREADY! MY HEAD IS NOT THAT BIG! IT'S JUST AS BIG AS ANYONE ELSE'S! I'M SO SICK AND TIRED OF EVERYONE SAYING MY HEAD IS BIG! IF WE TOOK A MEASURING TAPE IT'LL HAVE SAME CIRCUMFERENCE! MY HEAD IS NO BIG! NO! NOT! ME NO BIG HEAD! DIB NO BIG! AHHHHHH!"

"Well, someone's delusional."

"You done, Dib?" Gaz said.

Dib took a moment to regain his breath, "Yeah, it felt good to get that out."

"Well, while you were playing prima donna over there, those larvae just ate through the first barricade."

"Quick, start the timer!" Kor set the timer to countdown one hour. Gaz and Dib quickly started shooting the goop onto the larvae. Gaz was a good shot, hitting larvae left and right. The goo had about a one second delay before larvae guts flew everywhere. Dib, however, was a lousy shot.

"Come on, Dib, learn to aim already!" Gaz shouted.

"I'm sorry I didn't waste my life playing videogames," Dib resonded.

"At least I didn't waste it being a raving lunatic."

"Will you two shut up and just keep shooting?" Kor shouted. It's been ten minutes, so far that's the longest time Kor had survived at Harvestia. It was great to finally have people help her stop this, instead of being too happy to care or too scared and ran away. Twenty minutes. The chemical warfare method was also a nice touch, she was never good with anything that wasn't mechanical but watching those larvae blow up brought a smile to her face. Thirty minutes. ___Time did move faster when you're having fun, _Kor thought. She moved quickly from target to target, each shot being just enough to cause the larva's doom. She took aim at a really fat one and pressed the trigger, but nothing was shot. "I'm out!"

"Just grab another one, we made a lot." Gaz pointed to the pile of guns by Zim. "Dammit Dib! That one was Bloaty-sized! How'd you miss that?!" Kor turned back and ran for another gun. Zim, Gir, and Skoodge were still piled up and useless.

"Hahaha! Foolish Fefian worms! You cannot stop the onslaught of superior Irken intellect!" Zim laughed as he watched on, wishing he could be on the attack as well. Kor just grabbed another gun and ran off.

"Sir, I know how much you want to be there," Skoodge said.

"Of course, Skoodge, nothing makes me laugh like the rupturing of bodies." Skoodge wanted to help too, he was feeling useless while on his commander's journey. He wanted to serve his commander as the soldier he was. Skoodge tried with his thought power to move, but nothing. There was no feeling, he didn't even feel his fingers wiggle. It went by unnoticed, by everyone but Zim who just smiled cunningly.

Before Kor took aimed she looked at the larvae as a whole. It wasn't stopping, they weren't even stalling them anymore, it was just slowing the larvae down, but what made her scared wasn't their speed. The larvae had almost multiplied, she'd never seen such a large gathering.

"No, that's not possible, why are there so many?" Kor said in terror.

"Stop worrying about that and shoot them!" Gaz said. Kor stopped for a moment and stared at what they were shooting.

"The guns! I can't believe I was so stupid to overlook such a big detail! The larvae are attracted to the Fefian blood in the guns!"

"So what, that just means more targets and bigger groupings."

"But I've never seen a swarm this large, something is making my blood run cold. I..."

"Hey, do you hear buzzing?" Dib interrupted. Kor's fears were realized when out of the swarm came... "FLYING LARVAE!"

"Well, this is new," Kor said.

"You never said these things could fly!" Gaz said.

"No one's ever survived this long to find out, usually we'd all be incapacitated by the larvae by now."

"Damn, they're moving too fast! There's not nearly as much fliers but still."

"We can't split our focus, otherwise one of the two elevations will advance," Dib said.

"Which one do we focus on!?"

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HAAAAAAAAAA!" The shout came from a top the Dibship, it was an non-paralyzed Skoodge with two guns. However, he had outfitted some sort of shower-head like nozzle to the end. When he shot the goop rained down hitting the flying larvae as they entered the deadly rain. "The Tallest Zim entrusted his only two spread nozzles to me, I will not fail him. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HAAAAAAAAAA!"

"The blood must've finally worn off, couldn't have better timing too," Kor said. Skoodge's assistance was greatly needed. He was able to prevent the flying larvae from advancing while the others stopped the huge swarm on the ground. Only ten minutes left. ___We're actually doing it, _Kor thought, ___We're actually able to stall these larvae. Not only that but we're...pushing them...back? _"Something's not right."

"HOLY COW! WHAT IS THAT THING!?" Dib screamed. The larvae weren't being pushed back, they were getting out of the way. There formation revealed a monstrous, larvae that was not even close to the size of the others. I was yellow with drill-like teeth, in layers throughout its body. It was oozing something all over itself but its most unique feature with the four, long, squid-like tentacles protruding from its back. The four were flabbergasted, speechless, wide-eyed, and their mouth open.

"Foolish servants!" Zim's voice had broken their frozen states, "If you're going to let yourself get eaten by some obese worm than you have no right following the great Zim! I do not need weak, sloppy cowardly cows in my armada! I need courageous...couragey creatures of doom! Now if you want to serve me then show me DOOM!"

Everyone, aside from Skoodge, would rather have shot Zim than serve him at this moment, but they all came to a consensus that the larvae is the bigger priority. Giant larvae or not, they were going to live today.

The other larvae were still and formed an open path for their leader to feed. The group tried to shoot everything at it but it's size prevented any splattering of guts, but it was slow. The group looked at the clock, if they could just slow the thing down a little, they'd make it away. Closer and closer it moved, its tentacles stretched forward trying to grasp the morsels in front of it. It was so close, the ship almost within its grasp...

3...2...1

"Launch the ship, fools!" Zim yelled. The group rushed back inside, Kor scrambled for the launch button and pressed it. The ship began to light up, the electricity from the battery flowing through the Dibship's veiny wires, but it didn't move. "What's this?"

The screen lit up showing a red battery with a line through it. "Not charged, what?" Dib shouted.

"Crap, these bugs must've came early this year, it still needs more time!" Kor was frantically pressing buttons in vain to start the ship.

"Your planet sucks at timing, Kor!" Gaz yelled as she fired at the giant larvae.

Suddenly, the tentacles of the giant larvae jetted into the Dibship. Kor, Skoodge, and Gaz each handled a tentacle to keep it at bay while Zim watched helplessly and shouted orders.

"Shoot that thing! And that thing! And that over there!"

"Sir, I don't know which direction you're referring to!" Skoodge said.

"Just shoot it! AHHHHH!" During Zim's shouting, a random jolt of electricity from Gir electrocuted Zim. Immediately he felt a numbing in his hand which made direct contact. ___Wait, I felt that..._

Dib saw the fourth tentacle near the battery. He rushed it while shooting at the same time, fazing the tentacle, but it lashed out and hit Dib, causing his gun to drop. The tentacle then grabbed the battery from its socket. Dib grabbed it and tried to hold on, but the tentacle was trying to shake him off. Gaz jumped onto the tentacle when she got the chance and sprayed the goop in her gun in a circular path around the tentacle, causing it to tear off. A large roar of pain came from the larvae as Dib held up the battery in victory.

"We did it, ha-ha!" He shouted, but the tentacle that Gaz had shaken off to help Dib swept through the ship causing the battery to fly out. Gaz punched Dib for his stupidity, however the tentacle swept back and slammed Gaz, making her dizzy. Her senses was as boggled as monkeys on caffeine, she couldn't get a grip on her gun, much less aim it. She felt the tentacle grab her and started to lift her, she was about to become a chewy gummy bear to a fat bug.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Gaz heard the scream and saw someone on the tentacle with her. He shot his gun like Gaz did earlier, the appendage became detached. They both feel to the floor then he helped her up. Still dizzy, he began slapping her until she came to.

"Glad to see that paralysis finally worn off, Zim" Gaz said to her savior. She then proceeded to punch him just like she did Dib, except harder.

"AHHH-What was that for!" Zim yelled.

"Don't ever make me bathe you again."

"I shall -AHH- be the bringer of your pain for this human!"

"NOTHING is more painful than bathing you."

"If you two are done, we still have problems over here!" Kor yelled. Skoodge and Kor were still struggling with two of the tentacles, Dib also regained his composure and tried to help.

"Sir, what do we do?" Skoodge said, "We have no energy source and there is still an armada of larvae out there!"

"Keep fighting, Skoodge! We're Irkens, we destroy things and invade things we can't destroy, then destroy them later!" Zim said, "Oh, and you guys are Irken servants, so...um...sacrifice yourselves or something."

"This could go on for hours! How do we possibly survive that long?!" Kor screamed.

"All great plans began with a spark, Tinkerer."

"How does that even apply to our situation?!"

It felt hopeless for the troop, they were running low on guns and that huge larvae was getting closer. However, Zim's words were true, all they needed was a spark, but from a certain dysfunctional robot.

Gir didn't just spark, he sparked thousands of times. Electricity was traveling around his body, he glowed a bright white and started shaking. "I can feel it!"

Zim, though glad to see his servant rise up, was distressed at his timing, "Gir! I don't need your haphazard comments now!"

"Whew! There's an earthquake in my belly!"

"What?" Gir began shaking crazily, moving his body even more randomly and weirdly than he usually does.

"WheeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEE-___barf-_" Gir had coughed up a shining blue orb, "*_Gasp* _I made a baby! Give me presents!"

Kor looked back at the commotion and couldn't believe her eyes. "That's a Hyper Reactive Cell Core! How in the universe did you get one and why didn't you tell me earlier?!"

"What! Gir ate that thing back at Fuelia Portia, I didn't know it still worked!" Zim said.

"Whatever, just place it in the socket already!"

"Gir you heard her!"

"Okeydokey," Gir said as he casually walked towards the energy socket, however, when he got there, there were two sockets, a spherical one and a cubed one. Meanwhile the others were struggling with the remaining tentacles which kept on hitting them. Gir pondered deeply on which hole to choose. The conundrum was eating at him like woodchucks chucking wood if they could chuck wood. Several questions raced through the circuitry in his head. Does he play it safe with the round socket or risk it all with the square? Does he choose the sphere or power or cube of wisdom? Does he take the road less traveled? What is the square root of pie? Deal or no deal?

"JUST PUSH IT IN ALREADY!"

"Okay!" Gir shoved the orb into the square socket.

"NOW PRESSED THE RED BUTTON!"

Gir looked at the big red button that said launch on it, he stared for minutes before having a confident look on his face, "Master, this is hard!"

Gaz couldn't believe the stupidity that would get her killed. She grabbed Dib and threw him at the button, causing the ship to launch into the sky. The tentacles tried to hold down the ship but with only half its power, it couldn't stop it. Zim scrambled and pressed the button to close the screen, the pain causing the tentacled larvae to let go. They were now out of reach, and the group yelled in glee.

"Mission accomplished, sir," Skoodge said.

"Thanks for saving me, Zim," Gaz said.

"Can't have sacrificial goats go to waste now, can I?" he responded.

"I'm still going to destroy your soul for making me do all that stuff though."

"I can't believe we actually did it, I actually escaped a Harvestia, I'm actually in space and away from my dad," Kor looked back at the shrinking landscape, "FINALLY! SCREW YOU FEFA!"

"I saved the day! Yay!" Gir said, "I want a parade, with a pig balloon!"

"Yes, yes, you'll get your balloon eventually Gir," Zim motioned for a shaken Dib to get up, "Now look, Dib-human, as my invasion armada grows even more and thus, MORE DOOMY!"

"Head spinning," said a disoriented Dib, "can't...feel...toenails..."

"Now rest my legion, we'll be drifting in orbit until the next day, where we begin our next step in conquest!"

* * *

After much rest, Dib walked out of his room to find Gir and Skoodge eating some weird, pink stuff while Gaz was playing her games. Kor was making some sort of package, signed for her dad and everyone else.

"What's that?" he asked.

"Oh just a little something for them to remember me by. Zim let me use the leftovers for this little thing." she said with a malicious grin on her face. "Now, where's an escape pod?"

Dib motioned to a far corner. "So you're fine with this whole invasion thing right? We are going against the Irkens, strongest species in the galaxies, tyrants of unspeakable oppression."

"Meh, anything is better than living on Fefa," Kor began punching numbers on the pod. She placed the gift inside, closed the hatch, and it left the ship. "Now lets watch."

* * *

On Fefa, everyone had reawaken with huge larvae in their heads, waiting for them to explode. Blarby, with that everlasting smile on his face, was unfazed by his daughter's leaving. The pod Kor lauched earlier landed next to him, causing a small crater just out of his area. The hatch opened to reveal Kor's present.

"Hey, everyoney! My daughtery sent me a presenty! Gather roundy!" Indeed everyone gathered to see what it was. Blarby opened it to find a timer counting down from ten seconds. He lifted it out, "Aww, my daughtery got me a watchy,"

As soon as the time reached zero, goop exploded on Blarby, which caused him to explode. Every started laughing at Kor's antic but after a moment it became silent. They noticed Blarby wasn't regenerating, the native Fefians looked with shock.

"Wha-what's going on? Why isn't he regenerating?"

"The goop, it must be messing with our blood regeneration somehow!"

"O-OH MY! HE DIED! HE ACTUALLY DIED!"

"Holy, you know what this means?"

"Oh-no..."

"WE CAN DIE BY NON-DIEGESTIVE CAUSES!"

"NO NO! THAT CAN'T BE!"

"Th-this is a joke ri-right? I mean it's imposs..."

"LOOK AT THE EVIDENCE RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES!"

"Blarb, wake up, this is just a joke, right?"

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I HAVE SO MUCH TO NOT DIE FOR!"

"MY IMMOTALITY! WHY'D IT HAVE TO BE MY IMMORTALITY!"

"NO! I NEED LIFE INSURANCE! GIVE ME INSURANCE!"

"IF I KILL THEM ALL THEN NO ONE CAN KILL ME, RIGHT?"

"Hey, there's another timer in this box."

* * *

A large mushroom cloud of goop was visible to the group.

"Yay, exploding death genocide," Gir clapped.

"...and thus I become death itself and give my people the gift of fear, may it drive them to hell. Oh, and SCREW YOU DAD!" Kor screamed.

"Wasn't that a little...harsh?" Dib said.

"He ATE my mom and PHYSICALLY ABUSED me,"

"Point taken."

Zim emerged from his room filled with victory after yesterday events.

"Loyal pawns," he said, "We must continue to increase our armada if we hope to rain vicious doom onto all! So lets select our next destination of enslavement! Skoodge! The twister spinner!"

* * *

Meanwhile, a shadowed figure listened joyfully to Zim's words through a bug. His servants were on-screen also listening.

"Si, Zim, make un armada grande, make my plan that much easier to execute. Jajajaja!"


	15. The Big Headed DOOM God: Prologue

The planet Heboad was humid and jungley. The plants were littered with shades of blue, yellow, and vermillion. The lifeforms displayed the natural survival of the fittest mentality shared by the creatures of earth. Carnivores eating herbivores, carnivores eating carnivore babies, herbivores beating up carnivores for eating their friend.

A female Irken was searching the area, disgruntled that the bug she had placed had interference and they had lost contact for a couple of earth days. Even though there was no sound, the bug was still transmitting for a while, Heboad was there last known location until the signal died. She was to keep track of Zim's group at all times as his role in The Employer's plan was crucial. To her, this unfortunately meant she had to make sure Zim lived.

"Ow!" Tak tripped over a strange metallic object. She picked it up to inspect it further. It was conical, it was almost like a flashlight. However, she looked closely at the metal, it wasn't native to Heboad. It was Irken metal. Defective Irken metal.

"Nar! Get over here!" Tak yelled. Lard Nar followed by a number of other Resisty members gathered around Tak.

"Did you find something?" Nar asked.

"Yes, yes I have," Tak said sinisterly.

* * *

"No, Shloonktapooxis, the red wire goes into the green slot, the blue plug into the white slot, the yellow slot uses the green line, and the gray plug doesn't work so use the black one instead," Nar ordered Shloonk.

"Alright, boss!" A jumbling of wires could be heard and the clank of Shloonk's head hitting the monitor. "Hey, boss."

"What Shloonk?"

"I don't have any hands!"

"Oh right. Someone help Shloonk! Now who's getting the hyper-thermal kernels?"

"Spleenk's handling those, boss." An explosion is heard from the Resisty culinary room.

"Sorry, boss," Spleenk said weakly.

"I am surrounded by incompetence," Tak remarked. "Just hurry up and play the video!"

"Hey, none of my crew members are experts in the field of monitor-video connections," Nar said, "It's not like you're doing anything."

"I found the thing, it's your job to make it work."

"You gave me a poorly crafted device, I can't do much if the chips inside start exploding!"

"It's plugged in!" Shloonk shouted.

"How did you..."

The monitor lit up and static filled the screen...

* * *

"All right, Gir, this new recording system in your eye is almost done." The static disappeared to reveal Zim's hand. The fingers were making slight movements, delicately finishing Gir's visuals upgrade.

"Hehehe, it feels like the bugs in my dog suit," Gir laughed.

"Don't move, Gir. I must make sure this is functioning so my conquest could be seen by Irken newborns as an example of...epic...conquesting...of conquest."

"The bugs said they'd conquest my suit, too!"

"...what?"

*CRASH* The camera panned to reveal Dib, sitting in the pilot seat of the Dibship.

"Dib-worm! How can you learn to pilot the Dibship if you keep crashing into every rock floating in deep space!"

"All you did was say 'Dib-human, fly the ship' and walked away. I'm sorry if the controls are more complicated than a joystick and a few buttons," Dib said.

Gir's head turned again to see Gaz and Kor sitting together. They were bored after flying in space for so long, though Gaz entertained herself by watching Dib's mistakes.

"I don't know why you let him drive the ship," Gaz said, "He got banned for life from the DMV for reckless driving during his test."

"How was I suppose to know that the Chupacabra was actually a deformed midget?"

"I suppose that's what those lenses on your optics is for," Kor said.

"He was sucking on a goat!"

"People suck on goats all the time, Dib, it's called being from a different country," Gaz said.

"They do not!"

Gir returned to his original position, with Zim standing before him.

"FOCUS, DIB!" Zim yelled, "I'm still working on Gir and I ne...hey, it's working."

"I AM FOCUSED!"

"Um, sir?" Skoodge said, trying to notion Zim.

"It's Skoodge piggy!" Gir brought his arms forward in an attempt to grab him..

"Not now, Skoodge, I'm looking for the button to activate this thing," Zim said.

"I like how I had no say in this decision, considering he is driving _me_," The Dibship remarked. "I honestly don't trust any of you after I woke up to find goo and puncture wounds on me. It was like I was raped by a tentacle monster. Especially that goth, fiddling with my innards like some mad doctor."

"Oh no, how will I manage with the moral guilt," Kor said dryly.

"Sir, there's a pl-" Skoodge said again.

"Not now, Skoodge," Zim answered.

"But hey, it's not like I have any will of my own," The Dibship continued, "I'm just a slave to your tyrannical goals, so go ahead and mistreat me! Carve my innards! Remove my will! Crash into a planet!"

"I WILL NOT CRASH INTO A PLANET!" Dib yelled.

"You idiot! There's a planet right there!" Gaz yelled.

"Huh?"

The crew of the Dibship turned to see the bluish planet that was growing bigger by the minute. They stood there in shock for a good five seconds before Skoodge brought them out of their trance.

"SIR!"

"NOT NOW SKOODGE! THERE'S A PLANET RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!" Zim yelled.

"Get us out of here!" Gaz shouted at her brother.

"I can't, we must be caught in its gravitational field!" Dib shouted as he desperately tried to turn the ship upwards.

"Use the reverse thrusters!" Kor shouted.

Dib looked at the panel with various shiny buttons, not knowing which buttons did which. Time was constraining him, added pressure to his decision. He closed his eyes and pressed a button. The ship accelerated faster.

"That's the forward thrusters!"

"Well, time to be mutilated," the Dibship said.

"Yaaay!" Gir shouted.

The camera returned to Zim, who was angered by Dib's incompetence. "STUPID DI-" -szzzsk-


	16. The Big Headed DOOM God Part 1

"This movie is so suspenseful!"

"Shloonk, move! Your body is blocking the monitor!" shouted Nar. He turned to his hated, Irken ally, "So, you think they're dead?"

"No," Tak responded, "We would've found their crashed ship and dead bodies, then I would've proceeded to blast their corpses to oblivion before burning the remains, then I'd burn their ashes and cook it into a pie, then I'd make you eat that pie and blast you into oblivion. But no, I wasn't able to make that pie. They're alive. We can assume how the bug lost transmission though."

"I'll remember to keep you out of the kitchen."

"Hey boss," Shlooktapooxis said, "The movie is coming back."

* * *

Gir was the first to wake up. The camera eye revealed the Dibship on its side, everyone was unconscious. The Dibship's voice system was broken, repeating "so...much...pain" in the background. A bright light came from the open partially open cockpit of the Dibship, several figures obscured by the light appeared. They were small, like Gir, and he only stared at them before saying "Monkey people," then everything went dark.

The darkness lasted for over an hour, Tak and the Resisty who were watching grew really bored. Finally, Gir was able to poke his head out of the sack that had caught him. He was being carried into some sort of structure. Everything was dimly lit, the captors were shrouded in darkness. He turned to reveal that the others were bagged as well. Kor and Gaz were already awake, just staying silent while waiting for the others to wait up.

"...hu-Huh what?" Zim woke up, "What the heck is going on!"

"Look at the situation, reach a conclusion, and your answer would be better than anything I come up with," Gaz said.

"I DON'T WANT TO BE MUTATED! AHHH! AHHH! AHHHHHH!"

"...maybe not,"

"Shut up, you. Gir, what's happened so far."

"The monkeys came, put us in sleeping bags, and now we're going to a slumber party! Yay!"

"I'd rather be mutated," Kor said.

"I hope there's cake, I want chocolate ice cream cake, or maybe mint vanilla, or rocky road squirrel..." Gir continued to list flavors while Zim tried to wake up Dib and Skoodge.

"Minions, wake up!" Zim said.

"Yes sir!" Skoodge woke up on command.

"Huh-huh, what?" Dib woke up as well.

"Skoodge, analysis," Zim ordered.

Skoodge turned his head from side to side, slowly examining every detail in his surroundings. The messy walls, the messy floor, the messy Dib. He stared at the creature that was carrying Zim. He stared and squinted his eyes, pondering in deep ponder. "We've been captured, sir!"

"What, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"We knew that already, idiot!" Gaz shouted.

"Then why wasn't I informed?"

"You have eyes don't you? What happened to your ___superior _Irken vision, your ___superior _Irken intellect?"

"My SUPERIOR Irken hearing detected levels of deceit and feigned admiration in those statements."

"So you do have a brain in there."

"Yes! And it's bigger and juicier than yours!"

"What the hell does juice have to do with intelligence?"

"EVERYTHING!"

"SHUT UP ALREADY! Let's just think of how we're going to get out of this," Dib said.

"Rationality has surfaced at last," said Kor.

Finally, the monkey creatures reached a dead end, they started to chant some gibberish before a door opened, shining light into the faces of the captured invaders. The light revealed their captures, like Gir had said, they were monkey-like, though also humanoid, however, the most striking feature were their robotic parts. They were all patched with cybernetic technology in some way.

"They look so weird," Kor said.

"Nevermind them, look at the walls!" Dib said. They looked at their surroundings as the room grew wider and circular. The walls were covered with several pictures, instantly recognizable to Dib. "They're Egyptian hieroglyphics."

"Don't be stupid Dib, what would an ancient earth language be doing in space," Gaz said.

"There has always been theories that past civilizations were visited by aliens, that's why their technology was so advanced."

"You ___would _know that."

"Eh, higher, non-earthling, lifeforms have always been scouring the galaxy, wouldn't be surprise if they found their way to that filthy rock," Zim said, "Sure would explain why you worm babies speak Irken."

"Wait, what?"

"UUUWWWWOOOOOOOOLLLLL!" The creature in the lead led out a sharp cry, raising his arms towards a stone tablet with several hieroglyphics, most noticeable one depicting a body being burned at an alter, it was quite large.

"I don't like that picture," Dib said.

"I get to be a marshmallow!" Gir said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Zim shouted.

"I never did try burning a Fefian," Kor said. Everyone looked at Kor and was surprised by her disregard for the situation they were in. "What? Fire was scarce on Fefa."

One by one, the captors' metallic hand raised into the air and flames shot out of their palms. Zim and the others were brought to the center of the room where an alter like the one in the glyph stood.

"Dammit, why are these bonds so tight!" Gaz said.

All of a sudden, one of the monkey-like beings emerged from the group and shouted. It raised another tablet for the others to see. The group was dropped and the creatures looked at the tablet, then at the group, then contemplated deeply while doing multiple chin strokes.

"Dib, can't you read hieroglyphics?" Gaz said.

"Why would I waste my time learning about ancient Egyptian script?" Dib said. Gaz just stared at him. "You're lucky that Egyptians have extraterrestrial connections."

Dib tried to focus on the tablet while the creatures were contemplating and chin stroking. "It's some sort of rite of succession ritual, starting with foretelling the coming of a new leader. I can't make out the middle though, too many weird characters. The last part shows the king but I can't make out specific features of the king that we can use to manipulate them, all it shows after that is a body with a giant block on its neck. It might be some weird giant block torture method."

Everyone else looked at Dib before looking at each other, they all thought the same thing.

"Dib, we think that picture is depicting the new leader." Gaz said.

"What? What kind person has a giant block on its ne-...I hate you all so much."

"I don't know what you're insinuating Dib-human, honestly what could-HE'S THE ONE YOU WANT! LOOK AT HIS BIG HEAD! HE'S THE ONE IN THE STONE! HIM! THE BIG HEADED ONE!" Zim shouted.

The creatures leaped with joy and released their captives, rejoicing at the fulfilled prophecy on their tablet. They released the bonds from the prisoners and started dancing around their new king.

"Oh gee, do I get a crown too?" Dib said sarcastically. One of the creatures placed a rock tiara on his head. "MY HEAD IS NOT BIG!" The creatures quickly turned hostile, frothing at the mouth and got ready to pounce.

"DIB!" Gaz yelled.

"I-um-uh," Dib panicked, he couldn't decide what was worse, death by monkey aliens or stating an "untrue" fact about him. He let out a sigh,___"_I am your giant-headed king." The creatures returned to their festive mood.

"Good, now let's get out of here," Zim said. As they started walking the creatures blocked the exits, instead, they started pushing them down further into another corridor. They were quite strong and the others were unable to find an opening they could run through.

"Uh-As your leader, I command you to let us leave!" Dib commanded, but the creatures paid him no attention and just kept leading them down the path. Finally, they reached an extremely large chamber.

It was blue, similar to the native plant life, and there were many corridors, surrounding them and on different levels; presumably, one could leave from the corridor where light was coming through. This was obviously their home, or at least where they slept, as many cubic structures jetted from the wall, with windows revealing they were hollow. Similar creatures poked their heads out to see. There were many platforms all over the room, reaching a height that could not be seen. They created the walkways and areas where the creatures would socialize. However, most noticeable was a tall structure in the middle that the platforms formed around.

"Zim, do something to get us out of here," Gaz said.

"Don't worry, Gaz, I've had training on how to escape in situations like these," Zim said. He walked over to Dib and grabbed him.

"Now as you can see, this large headed worm is your leader. As your leader, he has an enormous amount of power. So powerful that you worship his presence. You love him and would not want any harm-NOBODY MOVE, FILTHY MONKEY SCUM!" Zim extended his index finger like a gun, pointing it at Dib's head, "ONE MORE STEP AND I'LL SHRINK HIS HEAD INTO A MANAGEABLE BITE-SIZED PIECE AND EAT IT WITH SAUCE! SO MUCH SAUCE THAT IT'LL BE DELICIOUS!"

"Zim," Dib said, "I doubt they'll actually buy this."

"Haha, Dib, you have uttered the words of the many worm baby television shows that commences the ironic twist of the idiotic plan actually working. Now this plan is full-AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The plan gloriously failed as the creatures pounced on Zim instead of cowering.

"This is such a great plan," Kor said sarcastically.

"You can do it master, I believes in yous!" Gir said.

"Hey, get off of him!" Gaz moved to rip away as many creatures from Zim as possible but there was too many and they were too fast. In seconds, Zim and Gaz were tied up. They were being carried to another altar-like object in the room, with bigger flames sprouting from their hands. "That is the last time I try to help you."

"Wait, stop!" Dib shouted, "Don't hurt them! Well, you already beat up Zim and I wouldn't mind you hurting him more, but definitely don't hurt Gaz!"

The creatures stopped and instead placed the two tied up beings down. They looked puzzled, wondering why their king would not want them to burn the heinous criminals. One of them came up with an idea and walked over to a wall and revealed a hidden lever. Zim wondered for a moment what they were going to do.

"Sir," Skoodge shouted as he tried to rush to Zim, the creatures just grabbed him and started tossing him around like a ball, "Look...be...low...you!"

Zim and Gaz looked down on the floor they were sitting on, they saw a faint line circling around them, and that line was deep. They knew what was coming and as the creature pulled the lever, they both said in unison, "Stupid, DDIIIIIIIIIIBBBB!"

The trapdoor closed as soon as they fell, preventing Skoodge or Dib from trying to save them.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GAZ!" Dib shouted in despair, "And Zim too, I guess. GAAAAAZZZZ!"

The creatures stared at the remaining party members.

"Uh, go King Dib," Kor said, looking down to make sure she wasn't standing on a trapdoor.

"Viva the hippo!" Gir shouted.

"We have to find them." Dib faced the monkey creatures and ordered, "My followers! LET US LEAVE NOW!" The creatures didn't ignore them this time, but they also didn't follow his order, instead, a creature walked to each corridor. They pushed a stone, causing the corridors to close and the room to become dim.

"It is a slumber party!" Gir said.

A single creature walked forward towards Dib and spoke.

"We can't let you leave so soon, Gateway."


	17. The Big Headed DOOM God Part 2

"Did that monkey just speak English?" Dib asked.

"What the hell is english?" Kor said.

"Excuse me," said the small creature, "But if you're referring to the language in which we're speaking in, then yes. We Heboadians are a highly adaptive species. We were able to pick up the structure of your speech after listening to your group and you talk a lot."

"But to completely understand an entire language in minutes, how is that even possible?" Dib said.

"Well, we also hacked into your robot's language files,"

"Oh, well that makes sense."

"Aw, I thought a ladybug made a nest in my head. I wanted to feed the babies," Gir said disappointingly.

"There was a lot of bad wiring we had to avoid," said the creature, "My name is Pel, Gateway. Official Tablet Translator and Advisor to the next King, which would be you according to the glyphs."

"That's fine and all," Dib said, "But what about my sister and Zim, I need them back!"

"But they committed acts of treason against you."

"Well, yeah, sure, but still-"

"Still what? Are they your loving and loyal companions?"

"Well not in that wa-"

"Have they showered you with kindness?"

"No! But-"

"Have they ever hugged you?"

"What does th-"

"Have you formed bonds of camaraderie?"

"Actual-"

"So they suck?"

"Yes, wait, no! Definitely Zim, though."

"I see. It is unfortunate but your companions have been sent to the condemned, where all the slop of Heboad goes."

"Well, bring them back."

"That will take a while, Gateway, if you couldn't tell, the hole to the condemned was quite deep, but I'll send a group to pick them up, I've seen others survive the fall, if they're lucky."

* * *

"Those last three words rang through Dib's ears. He felt a weight in his stomach, it was a mass uneasiness that was like a tapeworm was throwing a rave in there. He couldn't handle the idea of Gaz, his little sister that he's been watching over for years could be dead. Despite all the beatings and threats he would still remember all the nice things she did for him, like that one time...Dib had a hard time thinking of moments. They were fleeting, like the hair..."

"Spleenk!" Nar yelled, "What are you doing?"

"I thought the scene could have used some inner monologue," Spleenk answered.

"...just press play."

* * *

The monitor was full of static before it returned to Gir vision. Kor and Skoodge were walking along a spiraling path, observing the many inhabitants of Heboad. There were even smaller creatures prancing around doing what looked like a ritualistic dance, some preparing food using their mechanical body parts as tools, a repair shop where some were getting fixed up, and the Church of Blood Sacrifices and Demon God Summoning. Kor stopped and stared at it, taking an interest at the blood stained outer wall of the church.

"Kor, focus!" Skoodge yelled, still unhinged at the possibility that Zim might be dead. Zim was the one who gave new meaning to his life and saved him from exile, but now he grew more unstable without a master to serve.

"Should you really be one to give orders?" Kor said. Skoodge lost his composure.

"W-well-uh...um-no,"

"Look, even though the chances of Zim and Gaz surviving are very slim, rest assured that my Fefian anatomy would've allowed me to survive the fall."

"..."

"That sounded more comforting in my head for some reason."

"I have to find him, there must be an exit somewhere!" Skoodge panicked, he looked around the area but suddenly fell to his knees, "AHHH! My brain! Can't analyze escape routes! Hamster...leaving...wheel...for...hummer!"

"...okay, maybe we do need to prioritize finding Zim. First, we have to find Dib."

"I saw the hippo and the monkey playing poker in the hopscotch," Gir said.

"Dib is with Pel in the library! Let's go, HOO-HAH!" Skoodge said.

"How did you interpret that?" Kor asked. Skoodge didn't answer, instead he just started running followed by Gir. Kor's steps could be heard behind him. They ran spirals before they reached a level with a structure that looked like it was formed of many pyramids. A large sign in front of it said "Library: Where 167629 slaves died in the process of building!"

The main door was locked for some reason, so the group went to the side to hopefully find another entrance. On the way, they found a window where, at a distance, Dib and Pel were talking to each other. The group tried to listen, but no sound can be heard.

"I wonder what they're talking about," Kor said.

"Sir unit, provide us with a way of listening," Skoodge said.

"Okay!" Gir shouted enthusiastically. He then broke a part of the window with his fist.

"What was that?" Pel asked from inside. Kor and Skoodge ducked while they held down Gir.

"It sounded like something breaking," Dib said.

"It better not be those kids again. That sign better not be broken, 167629 slaves was an achievement!"

"...what?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing, uh-continue with your grand stories from your years of life."

"Okay, well there was this one time where I found white hair, larger than normal shoes, and a bunch of dead Himalayan yaks near Rob's house, he's my classmate with these orange pigtail things. So naturally I came to the conclusion that his dad was a yeti. I showed him all this but he just called me crazy! Then he told everyone else in the class and they called me crazy! Again!"

"...interesting, so you aren't crazy?"

"No! That's just what they want to think. They were all too blind to see the truth before their eyes! It makes me really wish I didn't save them from the moose."

"Moose?"

"They're these four legged herbivores with large horns, but don't let that fool you! The moose I saw was a nightmarish hell spawn of a beast, it just kept chewing and chewing, oh the chewing!"

"And you saved these peers you dislike so much from it."

"Well I didn't want Zim to win also."

"Zim? Isn't he that Irken that fell down, isn't he your companion?"

"For now, but only because I can advance my knowledge of extraterrestrials through him. I still hate him for all the terror he's caused to the Earth and its inhabitants!"

"And your people didn't notice this?"

"No, I always stopped him from getting too far, but I've always failed at revealing his true self to the public. They kept believing he was just some foreign kid, they even called me racist once! I felt really dirty that day."

"But you still hold contempt for Zim and those people right."

"Maybe not as much anymore, but I'm sure deep down there's something. I try to suppress it though." Dib relaxed and took a deep breath, "Thanks for letting me vent out, Pel."

"Hmm, hidden contempt..." she said silently.

"By the way, you still haven't told me why you call me Gate-" Pel jumped on Dib's face and stared him eye to eye. "What are you doing?"

Pel's eyes started glowing a deep red and soon, Dib's eyes turned red also. "I summon the emotions from the hidden depths of your mind. Release it all and become one with the feeling. It is you as you are it!" Pel let go and backed away.

"Now, Gateway, what is your desire?"

"To protect the good of the universe," Dib answered with a platonic tone.

"That seems about right. Hmm, how?"

"BY DESTROYING ALL THOSE WHO COMMIT INJUSTICE!"

"So..beings that are crooks, condemned, criminals, condemned, arsonist, and condemned?"

"ESPECIALLY THE CONDEMNED!"

"Good! And with your head, we'll open a portal to summon the Great Boad! Bringer of destruction and destroyer of the condemned! I'll finally be rid of them! Hahahahaha!"

"Hahahaha!" laughed a strange voice.

"What was that?" Pel looked around to find Gir, who had ran up to them to get a better look for the camera. Pel and Dib were completely oblivious to him until now.

"How the-?" Pel turned around to see the broken window and Kor and Skoodge standing next to it.

"Uh oh," Kor said.

"Now Gateway, what should we do with these, what's that term your people have? Peeping Toms?"

"Peeping Toms!" Dib shouted. "Destroy them!"

Kor and Skoodge quickly started running. Pel picked up Gir and called for the rest of the natives to chase them. While holding Gir, Pel could see Kor and Skoodge jump off the edge of the platforms, Kor used her body to cushion the fall. Pel and the others used their natural acrobatic skills to get down. They followed them down a corridor, knowing they were running to the room with the trapdoor. They were out of sight thanks to the lead they got from jumping off, but their voices echoed in the corridor.

"What are you doing?" said Skoodge.

"Getting us out," Kor said. A switch could be heard, the swoosh of the trapdoor followed after.

"Gah! I could've fallen!"

"You're suppose to, it's the only way out that we know of and I could cushion your fall." Their figures were visible. Pel lifted up Gir and threw him using her cybernetic arm.

"Woooooooooooooooo-hoooo-hoooo-hoooo!" Gir screamed in joy.

Kor's and Skoodge's images grew rapidly. The robot hit Kor directly, pushing her back but bouncing off of her as well. He collided with Skoodge and they both fell into the hole. Quickly, the light was fading.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Skoodge screamed as he fell down the hole. Gir followed behind, sliding down with his hands in the air pretending it was a waterslide. The light at the end started to appear, Skoodge braced for impact. Skoodge could feel the wind rushing past his face. The light grew bigger and bigger. Skoodge prepared himself, knowing how futile it was. He could hear that sickening noise in his head. Once his high velocity body hits the ground, it'll make a blood-curdling, bone crunching, disgusting...

*pfff*

"What, pff?" Skoodge said. Gir landed next to him, also making a pff noise. His mind started clearing itself from the adrenaline of falling. He could feel softness around himself. He saw that he had landed in a container filled with what looked like soft cushions. This made Skoodge even more confused. However, he started looking around him, and what he saw made him even more confused. It was a city, all the buildings were metallic and had glowing lights all over. He looked up to see that structure that he fell from, it was like a cocoon, completely shelled and casting an eternal shadow over the city.

"These building look like me, *gasp* maybe they are me!" Gir said. Skoodge climb out of the box and saw the city filled with the same monkey creatures from before. Scared at the thought of ritualistic death, Skoodge grabbed Gir and ran, eventually reaching a forest. He tripped over a rock but was greeted by the sight of two familiar beings.

"Gaz and Zim!" Skoodge shouted. They were in the middle of a small clearing, but the way they were together was...weird. They were alone in the clearing, and in physical contact, alone, in the clearing, physical contact, alone.

"Skoodge! Gir!" Zim shouted.

"What?" Gaz screamed in shock. She quickly let go of Zim.

"You escaped! How's Gir's eye cameras?"

"Camera?" Gaz freaked. She quickly ran and jump Gir and started shaking him violently. "DELETE...THAT...FROM...THE...MEMORY!"

Zim rushed over and tried to get her to stop. "Stop that now, Gaz! Gir's eye cameras are necessary in recording my glorious triumphs!"

"Shut up, Zim! Like I give a damn!" Gaz then lifted her fist and attempted to strike Gir, but his metal casing only made her hurt her hand. She saw that trying to delete the scene that was just recorded as futile for now. "Okay, look, what you just saw was nothing! I-I just happened to trip and Zim caught me for a sec."

"An earth second? You were holding on much lo-" Gaz pivoted around and knocked Zim in the face before he could continue.

"NOTHING HAPPENED!"

"Sir!" Skoodge screamed. Zim was able to recover before Skoodge was able to help him up.

"How dare you strike Zim!" Zim said.

"I've done it a thousand times before, and I'll keep doing it if you don't remove the last ten minutes from your memory!" Gaz said.

"*Gasp* You touched master for ten minutes? Lucky!" Gir said.

Gaz couldn't control herself anymore, she went crazy and jumped Gir.

"I'M GOING TO RIP THAT MEMORY FILE FROM YOUR F-shkzz-

* * *

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha-" Tak was laughing uncontrollably. Gaz's mental breakdown and the thought of her mauling everyone around her filled Tak with an endless reservoir of pleasure, that can only increase as bloodshed increases.

"Boss, what's love?" Shloonktapooxis asked.

"What?" Nar answered, "Why are you asking that?"

"Well, if you rewind to here, where those two are touching, it made me think of that word."

"Aw, Shloonk, you have a long way to go if you think you could identify love just from one action."

"Okay, then tell me about it."

"About what?"

"Love."

"Okay, well love is-" Nar stopped talking as he honestly had no idea what to say. Meanwhile, Tak had manage to get to the floor and continued to laugh. "Come to think of it, I've never had a mate." Nar turned towards the rest of the Resisty crew, "Crew! Has anyone here ever had a mate of some sort?"

No one raised their hand and it was dead silent. Some Resisty looked down, upset at their non-existent love-life.

"Well, this has become quite sad," Nar said.

"I've had one boss," Spleenk said meekly.

"Really, Spleenk? That's unexpected, then tell Shloonk all you know."

"Yes, Sir," Spleenk walked up to Shloonk and got in his face. For some reason the lights dimmed and his face was covered in shadow. A dark light lit up behind him, giving off a sickly glow. Spleenk grabbed onto Shloonk and stared at him with dead eyes. He spoke plainly, "It was the worse decision of my life."

Nar quickly pushed Spleenk back and everything turned to normal. "And now I don't think Shloonk should know anything."

Nar grabbed the controller to the monitor and pressed play, Tak was still laughing.

* * *

"What the Boad is going on here?"

-shkzz-

Gaz had managed to tear one of Gir's eye cameras out. It laid on the ground revealing Gaz who was frozen in mid-mauling. She had Skoodge under her foot, Gir in her left hand, and Zim pinned with her right. Zim used this chance to struggle out and grab Gir. He quickly placed the fallen eye back into Gir. Gir turned his head to reveal the voice of the creature that had caught everyone's attention. He was the same as the other creatures, small, monkey-like with cybernetics patched around him. His arm was robotic, like the others but the difference was that half his face was also robotic and he was dressed in a very nice suit.

"I released you from the Hold so that you could get your ship, not maim each other." He said.

"Sir, watch out!" Skoodge screamed, he then tried to shield Zim, "He's going to burn you like the others!"

"How dare you compare me to those primitive Heboadians living up there."

"It's okay, Skoodge, this being here has been helping us since Gaz and I fell down. He is this colony's leader and has proven very valuable in aiding my needs." Zim said.

"My name is Tel, uh-Skoodge was it? Weird name. Anyway, my beings found your ship a while ago. It wasn't too badly damage and regained voice capabilities. Unfortunately, they popularized your ship's 'haiku' as he called it and ever since, suicide attempts have risen. Though none have succeeded, thankfully." Off in the distance, a figure can be seen jumping off one of the buildings with a loud scream. "Until maybe now."

"Before that, the violent human over there and I were celled up in their prison, called the Hold, for a couple of hours. Once we identified the ship as ours and proved that we could do no harm, Tel let us go." Zim said.

"In exchange, I want the ship off the planet and any current news from the structure above us. So far, your friend here was absolutely useless in telling me anything, so now, I just really want him to leave."

"It takes more than just a few bribes to break Irken silence, little monkey. Now, where is Dib-stink and the mechanic."

"Oo, oo!" Gir shouted, raising his hand in the air, "I know! I sees it all!"

"Very good, Gir, project what you've recorded so far, then."

"Yes, my master!" Gir turned red for a bit, but quickly went back to blue and did nothing.

"Well?"

"I think I destroyed the monitor-projector-thingy."

"What? When did this happen?"

"I dunno but I bet I was having a looooot of fun."

"Ugh, you'll need more repairs once we get back."

"Sir, I can report." Skoodge said.

"Thank you, Skoodge."

"We met their leader, Pel-"

"You met Pel?" Tel interrupted.

"Yes, is there any connection to you?"

"Yes, Pel is my sister, my crazed, psychopathic, murderous sister."

"This sounds very familiar," Zim said.

"Shut up, Zim," Gaz responded.

"If Pel still has your friends they'll be in trouble, I'll give you more detail as we get to your ship."

The group started walking through the forest and then into the city. Gir looked around, excited by the bright lights and little creatures, but there weren't many heboadians. There were cables strung between buildings, they were used by the creatures for fast travel, though one attempted to jump off. Fortunately, another Heboadian grabbed him and prevented the fall. The signs were also hieroglyphs, or at least very similar to the ones above. Some were more modern apparently, as they recently had a sign with one hieroglyphic that was an obvious symbol for no suicide.

"If you haven't notice already, and you'd have to had your brain scrambled to not, our society is completely different from my sister's. You see a long, long time ago, we all lived in the structure up there, but it was really boring. To pass the time, I would tell my little sister stories. They would be about a being call the Great Boad, a great and powerful being summoned at the desire of a being called Gateway. He was always the hero, punishing others for heinous crimes. I eventually gave the criminals the term condemned.

She got TOO into the stories, eventually believing they were real. She became highly dictatorial, punishing anybody who did anything wrong, just like the Boad. She sent them into exile, by tossing them out of the structure.

The real crap came when she started preaching about the Great Boad. She gathered up a cult that just grew and grew. They banded together as a group and started beating 'condemned'. Sure, it was fine to others at first, since having less bad guys was great, but then she ran out of the usual condemned. She turned to petty criminals and eventually average Heboadians were classed as condemned for so much as eating with his or her mouth open. Eventually, people joined out of fear of being labeled. It got so bad that even our leader could only slander my sister's group.

She gained more power, eventually giving herself useless titles and making false claims, like being able to read those strange, ancient symbols. They haven't been used in centuries. She says she's the only one who can interpret them and act upon what they say, denouncing all other translations as wrong and misconceptions made by the condemned. She of course started making up new symbols and called them 'discoveries of the secret writings of the Great Boad.' This led to ritualistic activities, believing they would power the Great Boad, the first victim? The leader.

I tried to stop her, tried to make her see the truth, but she was so caught up in her web of lies and delusions. She cited me for treason, and I was exiled too. However, after surviving the fall, despite half my face being crushed, I saw that the other condemned were also thriving.

I united them and made a society that was constantly evolving using the natural resources and salvaging whatever crashes by. My species is highly adaptable. We easily grew stronger, learned the basic languages of the universe, which fortunately for you included Irken, and made the basic needs for us to survive.

Staying under the structure only worked to our advantage. The forest surrounds us and the shadow also makes us obscure, so when the others from above leave from the edges of the structure to gather resources, they don't notice us. Also, we're able to save any 'condemned' and really decide if they should live peacefully or we really send them into exile."

"This exposition is so long!" Zim shouted. "At least the squishy being's was told like a flashback, yours is one endless narration!"

"Each detail is a necessary part of my beings' culture."

"When did ZIM ask you about your culture!"

"When yo-, uh, whe-, I guess you're right. I'm continuing anyway."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Meanwhile, while I was advancing my colony using the resources, my sister, according to the recently condemned, is preventing any future advancements due to her focus on bringing the Great Boad back to life. Thankfully, I made up the biggest, most unbelievable truth for that. I said the Boad can only be summoned by a portal, inside the head of the Gateway, but the head is so large that it's impossible for anyone in the universe to have it."

"Sounds like Dib," Gaz said. Tel stopped in his tracks and turned in alarm.

"Who?"

"My crazed sibling, he was with us when we got captured by Pel."

"Is his head really that big?"

"Immense!" Zim said. Tel started worrying, but then cooled down and became calm.

"Alright, everything should be fine, it's not like she knows we're here."

"...about that," Skoodge said.

* * *

"She had sent her people down here before?" Tel was in shock.

"Based on how she said she was able to pick Zim up, I interpreted that she knew what lied beyond the hole. Also, the way she was talking to Dib about the condemned made it feel like she knew where you were," Skoodge said.

"What?"

"Pel also did this weird glowing thing with her eyes and made Dib evil and commanding."

"This-This is not good!"

"Why metal monkey?" Gir asked.

"There are two conditions to the 'ritual' that I made. First, the Gateway needs to call on the Boad out of his own desire. We Heboadians can draw out hidden emotions from others. Pel used this several times to manipulate others. Does your friend have any hidden, dark desires? Say, vengeance, killing, along those lines."

"He wants to hurt Zim," Gaz said.

"Ah, yes, those memories of the past. I still find joy in seeing the Dib-worm suffer," Zim said happily.

"I can see why," Tel said.

"What's the second condition," Skoodge said.

"The Great Boad is then summoned when it senses the blood of the condemned. That's what I told Pel, but knowing her, she plans to literally use the blood of the condemned to summon the Boad. Sure it'll fail in the end, but the fact that she knows we're here and the ritual requires a lot of blood, she'll come to use our blood in the ritual!"

"So what," Gaz said, "Just fight them off, you said you were more advance than them."

"We never looked into military technology, we never thought we'd need it. We're well hidden, or at least I thought we were, and no one here has fought, anyone we deemed violent was exiled!"

"Silence!" Zim said, "Your ramblings have gone far enough monkey! I don't care what trifles your people have, just lead me to my ship so I can continue my quest!"

"YOU'RE one of the condemned too, you know."

"Ha! If I get to my ship, I'll be off this planet's atmosphere before that happens."

"What about your companions?"

"I'll find new slaves to shield me."

"Hey!" Gaz shouted.

"What now Gaz-human?"

"We can't leave Dib. I may hate him for being stupid but if he dies, my dad would make a big deal out of it, I'd get pitied by everyone, I'd have to go to Dib's funeral, and funerals are boring!"

"Well I hate the Dib-worm. I have no problems with his death and neither does he about mine if our past encounters meant something. I only wanted his help for the ship, after that, he was just to be my meat shield from danger, but shields can be replaced."

"Hey! Remember back on earth when you broke my GameSlave? You said you would be my slave for eternity."

"I gave you a new one."

"I never said that your enslavement had ended."

"Do you really think those puny words will alter my mind?"

"Either way, I'm going to rescue my idiot brother AND throw Pel down a spiked hole."

___Why am I troubled by this? _Zim wondered, he came to a realization. He'd lose half his crew if this keeps up, and losing half his crew meant losing half his protection, which is like losing half his armor, he'd be half naked.

"Sir," Skoodge interjected. He spoke quietly to Zim. "These Heboadians are highly adaptable beings, if you teach them how to fight, then you'd be teaching a potential army. You could bargain for their loyalty."

This new revelation gave rise to a big grin by Zim. Plans formulated in his head, thoughts of doom and destruction came.

"Tel, I'll help you with your situation," Zim said. Tel was still in the motions of breaking down.

"W-What c-can you d-d-do?" He said nervously.

"You forget, monkey thing, I come from a race of galactic conquerors. Warfare is part of my basic training. I can teach your beings how to cause doom, that is if your species is as adaptable as you say it is."

"We are the quickest learners and fastest to adapt, if you can get my Heboadians to survive, then I'll pay any cost for your teachings."

"Excellent."

* * *

They eventually reached where they were holding the Dibship. It was held down by chains and there was a crowd of Heboadians surrounding it, all with notepads and pencils.

"Please sir, another," one of them said.

"My life is tragic,

Filled with freaks and idiots,

Why don't they **** off" The Dibship recited. The others took turns commenting.

"Amazing, it's such a great social commentary of our government."

"It shows how society had spiraled downward with each generation."

"It's so sad, it's like my life."

"Please, someone kill me,

Twisting my words for meaning,

You're all idiot!" He recited again.

"Amazing, the social commentary of the lack of direction our political structure has taken is so accurate."

"It shows how we need to strengthen the youth in order to survive."

"It's so sad, it makes me want to hurt myself."

"Ugh," The Dibship said in disgust. Everyone immediately stood up and clapped.

"Stupendous!"

"Wondrous!"

"It SO speaks to me!"

Zim and the others just stared at the overly analytical Heboadians, amazed at their stupidity and the fact that they got the Dibship worn out from making haiku's.

"See what it's done?" Tel said. "This is two-thirds of my population!"

"There's only twenty of them," Gaz said.

"Someone keeps moving the box of cushions at the end of the tunnel. It's always really messy."

Zim moved through the crowd and started climbing the Dibship, this got everyone's attention.

"I'd never thought I'd be thankful to see your bug face again," the Dibship said, "Please, get me out of here, they won't even give me anything to cut my wires."

Zim mostly ignored the Dibship. He stood atop the Dibship and looked down below at his future army.

"Heboadians!" Zim shouted, "Pel knows where you are and plans to make you SUFFER A HORRIBLE DOOM! Just ask him." Zim pointed to Tel.

"It's true," Tel said. The Heboadians just pondered deeply while speaking calmly.

"Yes, yes, that does seem like a predicament."

"Hmm, we don't know how to fight do we?"

"If we kill ourselves now, then Pel won't be able to kill us."

"STOP YOUR SENSELESS PONDERING!" Zim said, "I come from an elite Irken group, entrusted with the conquest of the universe. I have enough knowledge and insight to train you and stop Pel from killing you all. All I ask for, IS FOR YOU TO SERVE ME AS MY ARMADA! WE WILL SEND THE UNIVERSE INTO NEVERENDING DOOM! HAHAHAHA!"

"Servitude? You want us to serve you?" Tel said.

"It's either that or having your sister cut up your organs to summon a false god!"

Despite Tel's objections, the other Heboadians were seriously considering it.

"Hmm, learning to fight sounds useful."

"I've always wanted to see life outside this planet."

"Living, hmm, that's new."

"Come with me my new armada! And I'll, I'll let you enjoy new Dibship emotional spillings each day!" Zim proclaimed.

The other Heboadians became excited about that, the thoughts of more haiku made them happy.

"Call all your people, Tel, have them gather here and release the Dibship. Have ten of them working on building weaponry," Zim said.

"Anything else, master?" Tel said disdainfully.

Gir focused in on Zim's face. He was silent, but wore a malicious smile.

-shkzz-


	18. The Big Headed DOOM God Fin: DOOM Monkey

"So in total your society has a population of thirty-seven?" Zim asked.

"That's right," Tel answered.

"Of which, eleven are children?"

"Yes."

"I see. Split your people into two groups, eleven children here and the twenty-six others there."

"Okay."

The children of the Heboadians ranged from less than half their parents size to almost reaching their shoulders. Their eyes were the same size as their parents, giving them a large eyed stare. Each wore a big smile on their face filled with sweet innocence. "You eleven will do heavy manual labor!"

"What? You can't make the children work!"

"Zim needs supplies, metal monkey, and your people can't build weapons and train at the same time!"

"Hold it, I'm certain we have child labor laws somewhere. Stu! Get me the big rule book thingy." A Heboadian walked forward with a large book. Tel took it and quickly thumbed through the pages until he reached the end. "Holy Boad, we actually don't. Who the hell made that oversight!"

"The children either build weapons of mass doom or fight until the blood gushes out of their weak bodies instead of pee. Zim is happy with either."

Tel grunted, "Fine."

"Alright, even tinier monkey cyborgs, I had Skoodge here find a nearby metal mine, what kind of metal it is does not concern me, he will lead you to the dark, stinky cave hole where you'll be building weapons for everyone. Off you go."

"Yes, sir! Hoo-ha!" Skoodge said. He led the children while pulling a cart of tools into the forest.

Zim's gears in his machine that is his plan to create an army had just started turning. Though small in number he planned to use their hyper-learning abilities to full effect, teaching them every fighting style he learned, knew of, and barely knew. Zim also made sure that Gir would record all of it, to use as a training video for when he gets more recruits once he conquers Irk.

"Okay my army, line up," Zim then positioned a wooden block in front of them. "Tel, you'll be the first to set an example for your fellow soldier slaves."

Tel walked forward towards Zim. He gave Tel a wooden stick, a very dull and twig-like stick, and showed him how to hold it like a sword. "Now Tel, I want you to lift your sword and hit the block."

"Is there some sort of visual or instruction manual I can use?" Tel said.

"Do not question my methods, cyber monkey, now strike!" Tel lifted his stick and swung it down, miraculously missing the block and landing to its right. He swung towards the left, and missed again. He swung horizontally, somehow mysteriously missing as well. He lifted his stick up once again and finally hit the block.

"I did it!" he said with shock.

"No! You failed! Wrong wrong wrong fail."

"But I hit the block."

"Yes but did you cut it? Where is all the blood that should be coming out, the internal injuries it should be receiving, why isn't it crying on its knees and begging for mercy!"

"But it's a block, and I'm using a stick."

"Nope, you failed Tel, back of the line."

"But ho-"

"FAAAAAAIIIIIIIIILLLLLED!"

Tel moved to the back of the line, Zim then ordered for the next Heboadian to come forward.

"Mini monkey, I've seen your kind emit flames from that mechanical arm, is that a common feature among them?" Zim asked.

"Yes, sir."

"How does that work?"

"Well it works through a simple gas fuel and spark contraption, with a sparker inside our hands. For the fuel, we take in the natural air and conv-"

"That's enough! Now, I want you to aim at the block and somehow put pressure on that fuel so that the flames would shoot out in a forward stream."

"Well that's easy, all I would have to d-"

"JUST DO IT!" The Heboadian aimed forward and shot out a burst of flame, engulfing the wooden block and burning it into ashes. "Hahahahaha! See, Tel, THAT is the destruction Zim wants to see!"

"But he was using fire," Tel said, "on wood!"

"Complain, complain, complain, that all I've heard from you, Tel, since the training began, but don't worry I'll make you a useful asset in my armada yet, either as a warrior or convenient meatshield. Now, I want you all to practice shooting flames from you hands, go burn down a nearby forest or something. Except for you Tel, you'll keep practicing with the stick until you can pierce something with it." The Heboadians marched off, with Tel who was disgruntled with his task. Meanwhile Zim walked towards the Dibship to see if Gaz found anything, Gir followed him.

"Gaz-human, did you find any weapons in Tak's former room?" he asked.

Gaz popped out from the Dibship, "I found a few rifle looking things, some small alien blasters I presume, and this weird glove thing." Gaz held her hand forward to reveal the "glove", it wrapped around the wrist and stretched out to the palm. A metal circle took up most of the space on the palm.

Gaz tried to analyze it to find a button or something, unknowingly aiming it towards Zim, "I wonder how it works?"

"DON'T FIRE TH-" A white burst of energy popped out and barely missed Zim, but unfortunately hitting Gir, causing the screen to become static.

* * *

It was hours before the static disappeared from the monitor. Zim appeared on the screen, making adjustments to Gir. He was getting sick of all the times he had to fix Gir since coming to this planet.

"I had a dream where everything was dark, and I was surrounded my slimy, fleshy squirrels," Gir said. Zim just ignored Gir's comment.

"This, Gaz, is why your inexperienced kind shouldn't handle such advance Irken technology like the Ionic Pulse Cannon," Zim held up the glove-like weapon Gaz had worn earlier.

"Those squirrels tasted like mashed potatoes."

"Fine, whatever," Gaz said plainly.

"Now, it's ver-OW" Zim was suddenly hit in the head by something very hard. He looked done at the object that had caused him much pain. It was a block of wood, but the most peculiar thing about it was that it had a stick, pierced right through it.

"There! I did it," shouted Tel who had returned, followed by his half-burnt population.

"Really? But it has only been a couple of earth hours."

"Heboadians are VERY fast learners."

"Excellent, now to wait for Skoodge," Zim turned to his wrist to activate his multi-purpose datapad device. "I injected Skoodge with non-nano nanobots so that I could track his movements."

"You inject Skoodge with nanobots?" Gaz asked.

"Well, he just had to eat them but he got a bit too eager and injected them using his fingers."

"With his finger?"

"There are some things I wish I'd never seen." Zim continued fiddling with his device. "Aha, he should be here...now!"

Skoodge and the child Heboadians appeared right on cue, they held a large bag. They were a bit charred and covered in ash. "Sorry that it took so long, sir," Skoodge said, "but the was smoke and fire in the forest that deterred our return."

"The cave was dark, and my hands feel like dying," said a little Heboadian.

"Mister," another little Heboadian said to Zim, "Roland hasn't woken up since we left the forest."

"I do not have time with your trivial problems, even littler monkey," Zim said, "Skoodge, where are the weapons and armor?"

"Right here, sir," Skoodge opened the bag. It contained many small swords, enough for each adult Heboadian and sets of armor, though it was only the chest piece, they'll at least provide some decent protection. Zim ordered each Heboadian to take a sword, and practice on the burnt trees in the forest. All except for seven Heboadians, and Tel.

"Now, you eight are given a very special duty in Zim's Mega Doom Armada, or ZMDA. You'll be the long range specialists, trained to melt enemies from a distance using high tech laser weaponry! You'll see over there that I have gathered usable weapons," Zim pointed to the pile Gaz had made earlier. He then pointed to the stretch of forest to the opposite where the other Heboadians are training. "I want you all to target every single plant on that side of the forest, and don't come back until all the vegetable life has been disintegrated."

"That's it," Tel said, "no tutorial on how to actually fire those things, how to hold them, proper weapon safety?"

"Weapon safety? Foolish Tel, there is no such thing as safety for weapons that destroy!"

"That's not- you know what, never mind, we'll figure it out ourselves." Tel and his fellow gunmen marched off into the forest. Gaz got out of the Dibship so that she could talk to Zim.

"So, Mister advance alien military general, do you actually have a plan as to how we'll get to Pel?" Gaz said.

"There's that hint of untruth in your speech again," Zim said.

"Gee, what a genius."

"Well no matter, Gaz, the glorious Zim does indeed have a plan of attack. A plan so marvelous it makes your earth gold look like worm doodoo. A plan so maliciously clever that it'll make your brain sizzle. A plan-"

"Get on with it!"

"You see, Gaz, there's a traitor among the Heboadians here."

"What? How can you be so sure?"

"Pel knows exactly what's going on here AND Tel said someone kept moving the cushion box, meaning Pel can somehow gather information on her brother and tamper with his progress. Anyone who's had Invader training knows this only means one thing. There's a spy in the vicinity. "

"Who is it?"

"I don't know."

"What? What's the point in knowing that there's a traitor if you don't know who it is?" Zim mostly ignored her remark, instead he looked at the sky that was growing dark.

"Once Tel and the other soldiers of the ZMDA get back teach them basic combat maneuvers, I'm sure you with your experience in constantly beating people up can do that. Then tell them to rest for tomorrow's attack. I'm going to bathe in glue before I retire."

"Hey, you still haven't answered me! Isn't the most important part of knowing about the traitor is who it is?"

"So many questions come from your little earthling mouth, Gaz-human. The 'whos' and 'whats', however, the key to this plan is the 'where'."

* * *

Skoodge and Gir were allowed by Zim to see the Heboadian city at night. All of the aliens in the ZMDA were sleeping, awaiting the day they confront their cult crazy brethren. Gir was very attracted to the lights of the city, they had the same allure as bug zappers do when they lure pesky flies to their deaths, just like how Gir was inching closer and closer to the lights. Fortunately, or unfortunately as Gir had hoped, the lights did not electrocute him.

"Awww," Gir said. Skoodge pulled Gir away from the light. They continued their walk down the city until they eventually came to the box of cushions. Gir leaped with joy since he wanted to play around in the cushions. He tried to climb up the box but fell, Skoodge eventually stopped him.

"Sir unit, you shouldn't be fooling around with that," Skoodge said.

Gir looked at him with a sad look. "But I wanna-"

"Wait, I heard something." Skoodge covered Gir's mouth and froze.

It was a metal clank, one that repeated and gradually grew louder. He quickly ran behind a building with Gir, hoping he was well hidden. He saw a Heboadian obscured by the darkness approach the box. The Heboadian pulled it backwards and walked around it, then opened a hidden door in the ground and disappeared, closing the door. Gir was intrigued by this secret door and escaped from Skoodge to explore it.

Skoodge guessed the whereabouts of the missing robot and tripped into the hole following Gir. Gir then ran off with Skoodge chasing behind him until he stopped at a vertical fan. It was on and emitted a high pressure vertical wind. Skoodge then caught up with him.

"Sir unit, it's really not a good idea to be here without telling Zim," Skoodge grabbed Gir by his hand.

"Yay, adventure!" Gir shouted before jumping into the stream of air, taking Skoodge with him.

"AHHHHHHH!" Skoodge screamed. After flying through a long dark tunnel, a horizontal fan pushed them forward until they came to a stop. They hit some sort of wall. Skoodge came to his senses and scanned the area, he recognized it. The wall had those strange earthen hieroglyphics. He walked along the wall alongside the wall until he found an entrance he could peek through. Gir also peeked with him.

They were in the main chamber of Pel's "city". They were on one of the platforms that were connected to the main one. Gir was able to see five other beings there, two of which he recognized. There were two guards that stood with wooden poles. Behind them was Dib, wearing his crown and sitting on a throne, looking zombified. By his side stood Pel, with a menacing smile and walking towards her was another Heboadian, presumably the same one they followed. He was still hard to make out since a guard blocked most of his features from view.

"Arrrrrgh!" The duo heard a nearby scream. Blue goo dropped in front of Pel, they looked up to find Kor on the platform just above. It was smaller than the average platform and was suspended by ropes. She chained and being tortured by two guards. She was armless, piles of dismembered Fefian arms laid by the feet of the guards.

"It's quite wonderful to watch," Pel commented to her unknown informer, "The pleasuring sounds and visuals of watching a condemned being get dismembered combined with the interesting biology of a Fefian is simply endless entertainment."

"THE CONDEMNED MUST BE ANNIHILATED!" shouted a deranged Dib.

"And so they shall, Gateway, in due time."

"DESTRUCTION!"

"Now, my ever so loyal informant, just what is happening down in the under-city?"

"ARMAGEDDON!"

"Gateway, your outbursts are making me feel emotions usually reserved for the condemned!" However, when Pel looked at Dib, she noticed he was looking away at something. Gir's eyes. The little robot had popped out of his hiding place, with Skoodge desperately trying to pull the robot back into the shadows, but Skoodge just realized how pointless it was. Skoodge tried to run back trough the vent they came from, but the air just knocked him back into the wall they hid behind. They were trapped, the platform they were on was too high to jump off without a Kor cushion and the only walkway led straight to Pel.

"Well, well, looks like a couple of rats slipped in with ours," Pel said.

"Skoodge!" Kor shouted, though her voice her strained from the pain, "Finally! So everything is going according to pla-ARRRGH!" Her arms regrew and where re-torn while she spoke.

"Huh? What?" A confused Skoodge said.

"Don't worry, we have Pel right where we want her."

"What are you talking about?"

"My capture was all part of the plan, Pel, soon, Zim and Gaz will blast this place using the Dibship, making sure you're destroyed."

"No he's not! He's sleeping and so is the human!"

"Dammit Skoodge, learn how to bluff in a damn hopeless situation!"

"Oh. Yes, Zim will human the blast... with you."

Pel turned to her guard, "You, get the juicer ready and store their blood for the upcoming ritual."

"Dammit," Kor said in despair.

"Your companions should've just left the planet, even if your leader is teaching those condemned vermin the art of war, they are vastly outnumbered. Now, your friends will either be used as the blood for the ritual to summon the Great Boad or be a casualty in its galactic destruction of the condemned! Hahahahah-"

Suddenly, a large crash was heard. Pel turned around to find the source, she was awestruck. An entire portion of the structure's wall caved in, but it was the cause of the cave in that got her in shock.

It was the Dibship.

It had crashed directly into the side of the structure. Slowly, the cockpit opened, revealing a tall, sinister Irken and a purple human by his side. Behind them stood a little more than two dozen Heboadians, wearing armor, wielding swords and blasters.

Zim smiled and broke the silence, "All part of the plan."

"Woah, there really was a plan," Kor said.

"There was a plan!" Skoodge shouted in joy.

"Of course," Zim said, "I knew that the traitor would leave to tell Pel about our plan during a period of rest. I let Gir and Skoodge free to scout the night, knowing the Gir would curiously follow the traitor, and knowing Skoodge would tag along it was just a matter of finding your exact location using the nanobots in your body. It was the perfect plan!"

"Yeah right," Gaz said, "More like we made this the plan since the original plan was to interrogate Tel about where Pel would meet him so we could launch an ambush because you thought Tel was the traitor."

"Honestly, I don't know why you would think I would betray my people," Tel said.

"What, you were the only possible choice that came to mind. You were also the least suspected to be the traitor since you had the most to lose, so by Law of Reverse Victim that made you the most likely spy," Zim said.

"Logic escapes you a lot, doesn't it?" Tel climbed out of the Dibship to get a closer look at the traitor, "I can't believe it. Why Stu? Why would you betray me, I made you my right hand Heboadian while I ran things."

"Why?" Spoke the traitor known as Stu, "I hate all of you condemned! It was Heboadians like you that killed my family! 'Accidentally tripping them off the side of a platform' is just the kind of excuse you condemned say. Pel offered me a chance to make you suffer, so I took it! So yes, I was the spy, I kept pushing the box of cushions, I hated always being your law book boy, and I erased the law about child labor!"

"You monster!"

"You can cry later, brother," Pel interrupted, "I must thank you though for giving me so much blood for the Great Boad summoning ritual, you saved me the trouble of having to transport all that blood to the ritual site."

Pel motioned for all of the cultist Heboadians to come out. There were hundreds. Some worked on pulling levers and spinning wheels, transforming Dib's throne in the middle. He got strapped down, and the throne became flat, hieroglyphics formed around him in a circle.

"ALL CONDEMNED SHALL BE DESTROYED!" Dib shouted.

"Great," Gaz said, "He's even more deranged."

"What will you do now Irken," Pel said, "Even if your troops are trained, you are vastly outnumbered."

"Foolish monkey! How dare you challenge the might of Zim!" Zim shouted. He raised his arm and pointed forward, "Attack my Mega Doom Armada!"

"Attaaaaaack!"

Pel's cult started leaping down from the platforms above, it was raining metal monkeys.

"My people," Tel said, "Let us dive into the battle of our lives. For our survival!" The ZMDA remained silent and still, "dammit," Tel muttered, "And emo poetry!" Suddenly the ZMDA leaped from the Dibship and they all charged into Pel's troops.

Gir was still in the same spot where he was first seen. He was capturing the battle from the sidelines. It was a slaughter of monkeys. Metal arms being ripped out of their sockets, fleshy bodies being plunged by swords, monkey blood spilled on the floor, the smell of charred flesh filled in air, however, the ZMDA's troop count did not fall.

Despite being vastly outnumbered, the ZMDA were able to use the short training they learned to avoid all attempts at their life. Despite the Heboadians being naturally part-synthetic, without any real reason to fight, Pel's cult didn't have any weaponry as advanced as the ZMDA. They relied on poorly strung together spears that fell apart when they hit the ZMDA's armor, rocks they picked off from the ground that were easily avoided, they had nothing to protect them from the long range blasters who were just picking the cult members off and melting them, some didn't even have weapons and some attacked each other, believing it was some free for all frenzy. Their screams of shock and terror at this one sided battle could be heard amidst their hollers of pain.

"He's melting my arm using a flame! AHHH! AHHH! AHHH!"

"My best friend was just disintegrated! Oh, now she's aiming at m-"

"How the Boad did he stab a stick through my body! Oh my Boad! I'm dying!"

Pel was dumbfounded at the slaughter of her people, some were even stupid enough to miss the platform when they jumped. Her only chance was to summon the Boad.

"Come on you worthless beings! Can't you even get one drop of blood! The Boad will save us!"

Skoodge sneaked over to Zim during the slaughter.

"Sir," the little minion said.

"Just watch, Skoodge, this is the fruit of my military knowledge!" Zim said, "It tastes so sweet and juicy! Hahahahaha!"

Meanwhile, Tel had confronted Stu, the traitor to the falsely condemned.

"I'll make sure you're never a danger to my people again," Tel said.

"You forget, Tel, I received the same training that you did!" Stu leaped toward Tel and pinned him to the ground making him drop his sword. While pinning Tel with his metal arm, he picked up the fallen sword and prepared to strike.

"You forget Stu, I received one special type of training!" Tel pulled out a stick and plunged it through Stu's chest.

"Arrgh! How the Boad did you do that!" Stu fell over and died.

"You useless trashes!" Pel yelled, "Fight for your weak pathetic lives to get me some blood!"

"I WILL DESTROY ALL WHO ARE CONDEMNED!" Dib shouted while still being strapped down.

Meanwhile, Gaz made her way up to Kor's platform, silently pushing the guard who was watching the battle a bit too closely, now even closer thanks to Gaz, and kicked the other. Kor was still limbless and bleeding since the guard continued to rip her limbs off during the battle. Gaz used a spare sword to cut the straps on her neck and legs.

Pel spotted the two and was determined to hold some dignity in this battle. She tore off the arm of a nearby cultist and threw it at Kor's platform. It broke one of the ropes that held the platform up causing it to tilt. Gaz was able to hold onto an edge with her arms but Kor fell. She landed on Dib, her blood splashing all over him.

The unexpected happened, a vortex started forming on Dib's head, it grew larger and larger causing the battle to come to a halt.

"Yes! Yes! YES!" Pel screamed in delight.

"This can't be possible!" Tel said, "They were all stories, that I MADE UP!"

"Wait, I thought the ritual needed the blood of the condemned," Gaz said. Everyone gave Kor a look, wondering why she was "condemned".

"What? So I committed mass genocide on my own people," Kor said, "But that shouldn't class me as condemned."

The vortex grew, causing the entire structure to shake and crumble. Platforms started falling, building collapsing. Finally the vortex started shrinking, revealing the being that came out of it.

"A monkey?" Zim shouted. Indeed, it was a plain monkey, dressed in some sort of astronaut suit. Everyone was in shock, wondering what the hell just happened.

"G-Great Boad? It's me, your most faithful servant and the one who summoned you," Pel spoke with uncertainty. It didn't move from Dib's head and had the same idiotic stare as when it appeared. "Don't worry, my people! I'm sure this is the Great Boad! Now begins our campaign against the conde-WHAT?"

The Monkey had grabbed Pel, restraining her. He held her up and walked to the edge, staring into the abyss of the structure. He hollered once and tossed her off the platform.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh-"

The structure continued crumbling, knowing the pointlessness of the situation, Pel's cult retreated, trying to find safety from the doomed structure. The ZMDA ran back into the Dibship as Skoodge was preparing the ship for launch. Gaz got down from her platform and made her way back to the ship. Kor started sliding off the platform because of her blood, but her arms regrew just in time, she grabbed Gir and started to make her way to the Dibship.

Gir looked back to focus on Dib, with Pel gone, Dib came to his senses and was extremely confused.

"What the hell?" He said, "Get me out of here!"

As the ZMDA were running back some threw their swords into the air in victory, four blades flew straight at Dib, miraculously cutting his restraints on his legs and arms.

"I'm free," but the ceiling started to cave and platform was cracking. Pieces of the floor were falling apart, including the piece of floor Dib was lying on, "Oh crap."

Gir looked up to see a large rock from the ceiling heading towards him, there was a loud crunch...

* * *

The screen became extremely fuzzy and with static partially covering the screen. Only glimpses were seen, the sound of a takeoff could be heard, and a wobbly view of the forest below. Suddenly, the forest became bigger until it reached past the trees and landed on the ground. The video ended there.

Tak sat there upset at the fact that Zim's crew suffered almost no casualties, with Dib's and Gir's condition being in question. Tak didn't know what to make of Zim's little army, though Zim is a failure his army is highly adaptable and would only become a threat with time.

"Shall we give this to the Employer?" Nar said.

"No need, Mimi was already streaming it to him as we watched it," Tak said. She then took Mimi to retire to her quarters.

In there, she activated Mimi's monitor to talk with the Employer. His shadowy figure popped up on the screen, another monitor in his location was replaying the last part of the video.

"Sir," Tak said.

"Proceed to la next part of el plano," he said.

"Yes sir."

"I marked las planetas on your mapo, I'll activate la machine in 24 earth horas." He cut the transmission after that. The Employer had enjoyed the little video Tak found, he found Zim's course of actions interesting. Zim would certainly make his plan fun, though only one thing bothered him now.

* * *

Dib had just finished watching the video from Gir's eye. Dib was still a bit shaken after what happened, having become a cult crazy slave was still bothering him. He didn't even pay much attention to his thirty or so new crew-mates who were busy making blueprints for an addition to the Dibship that would be their new city, since their old one was crushed by the structure. Zim had set the Dibship to drift in Heboad's orbit for a bit. The lone monkey that was one of Dib's saviors also made it onto the ship, though it just stared into the void of space, he felt sense of familiarity with the monkey.

A door opened, revealing a Gir with his eyes fixed. Behind him walked out Zim, who headed towards the ship controls. Dib decided to use this chance to talk to him.

"Hey Zim," Dib said.

"What do you want, Dib-stink?" He replied.

"I know that now we're comrades and everything but considering our history together, why did you save me back there?" Indeed, it was Zim who caught Dib's hand before he fell to death. This still confused Dib, considering his position on the ship seemed so expendable, especially considering he didn't even know what his position on the ship was.

"Dib-stink, do not take that as some gesture of your mushy earth friendship. You have proven useful to Zim, and could still provide some use. I merely saw that saving your existence was a better option than watching you die. Besides, you still have to 'talk' to two other beings."

Dib felt the presence of two figures behind him, it sent various shivers down his spinal column.

"Saving your skin caused me way too much trouble," Gaz said, "Time to return that favor."

"Feeling the pain of having your arms constantly torn off was so much fun that I thought I should share the experience with you, Dib," Kor said, Dib started feeling a strong sense of fear.

"Hahahaha," Zim laughed. Dib now owed him for his life and he will be able to watch Dib suffer too. "You'll have lots of time to 'talk', Dib. Our next destination is quite far off, it's much deeper into Irken territory," Zim started imputing coordinates into the Dibship.

"Yay!" shouted an excited Gir.

"Yes, Gir, celebrate with glee! For our next target is the Irken Armory!"


	19. The Armory of DOOM Part 1

**_"_INCOMING TRANSMISSION FROM PLANET DERIM"**

Red and Purple had a growing nervousness within them. About twenty four earth hours ago they had lost all contact with Sarim, the Irken Sentry planet that controlled all of the Irken sentry probes. The sentry scans they received before they had lost contact revealed no non-Irken ships entering Sarim's atmosphere, and there is no ship that can avoid Irken detection. That only meant that an Irken had somehow caused a planet to basically disappear, but they could not think of any Irkens that would be disloyal.

Derim was their back-up sentry planet, meant to maintain feed from the sentry probes, but the feed started to fizzle out an hour ago.

"Accept transmission," Red said with urgency.

The screen revealed a battered Irken with a broken antennae, he had lost one eye and was clutching his left arm.

"My Tallests," He spoke, "I don't have much time. Derim was overtaken, we didn't see them coming. They just appeared out of nowhere and started wiping us out! I've never seen anything like them before..." The sound of a charging laser was heard while he spoke. A moment later, a beam had shot him from the back, leaving a visible hole in his chest. Red and Purple stood shocked and the transmission was cut. They just lost their sentry probes for all their planets except for Irk, all within twenty-five hours. They've dealt with resistance forces before, a couple of times they even held a planet for a few days before it was re-conquested but never had they completely lost planets.

"What do we do!" Purple said.

"I'm starting to think that having each planet have a single purpose was a bad idea," Red said.

* * *

The monkey became an enigma to Dib and the others. For one thing it appeared out of his head, and Tel had confirmed that he was not the Great Boad, meaning that it wasn't the ritual that caused him to appear. He only did two things since his arrival, play with his berries or pilot the Dibship, which wasn't too surprising considering his astronaut-like attire. This meant less practice for Dib to fly the ship, causing an increase in boredom for him.

He started walking around the Dibship, learning just how big the interior was. He had only really been inside his room, the main room where the pilot seat was, and a room designated to eat their rations.

"Zim, just draw the attention while I flank them!" Dib heard Gaz's voice coming from her room. Out of curiosity he opened the door, only to be met with a flying book to the face. It took him a moment to recover.

"You're not allowed to enter my room without my permission, Dib," Gaz said. She was sitting on her bed with the game console Zim had made for her, near her was Zim who was holding a replica of the device. He was entranced by the game, carelessly mashing away at the buttons.

"Nooooooooooo! How dare you slay Zim, zombie piggy! I shall rise from the grave and beat you to death, with your own dead body!" Zim said, he paid no mind to Dib.

"What do you want?" Gaz asked.

"I was just wondering what you were doing," Dib replied.

"Playing video games, what else?"

"With Zim?"

"I wanted to play co-op and he's a better partner than you."

"Die vampire piggy! Feel the wrath of Zim, Overlord of Doom! Hahahahahaha!" Zim was way to into the game.

"If you're done sticking your nose in my business, go away," Gaz slammed the door in Dib's face. Despite Gaz's consistent hostile nature, even he noticed a change in her. She was becoming more tolerant of others, except for him of course, but to go to the extent of playing video games with other people, and of all people Zim. He found it odd, but decided not to dwell to much on it.

Dib continued his walk around the ship, noticing how quiet it was a lot. Occasionally he found Gir and Skoodge playing around, actually Gir playing with Skoodge, while screaming his usual shrieks and confusing nonsense.

"Ouch! Dammit! Wh-AAHHHHHHH!" Dib was struck by something soft, but with enough force to knock him to the ground. It was Kor who had fallen from the tunnel leading to the new room that was for the Heboadians. Kor was helping them install a speaker system for the Dibship's voice.

"Oh, hey Dib," Kor moved off of Dib's body, allowing him to get up.

"Jeez, Kor, what happened?" Dib asked.

"I got electrocuted by one of the wires on the speaker and lost my grip on the ladder."

"For Tel and the others' new room?"

"Yeah, they've got some fried circuits in their head for wanting to install a speaker just to hear this stupid ship speak, but it's not like that's anything strange around here." Gir walked by them waving his arms like a hummingbird with spoons, making a clicking noise. "Nothing is ever strange anymore."

Dib's curiosity had caused him to climb up to see the Heboadians, or ZMDA as Zim referred to them.

"Oh please, Dibship, share more of your wise haikus!" Said a heboadian. They gathered around the speaker like a crowd watching an execution, focusing so intently, fueled by their curiosity of what the outcome would be. Only Tel sat in the very back in the room, reading a book on warfare, having no interest whatsoever in the Dibship's words.

"Please," the Dibship said, "can you idiots just leave me alone!"

"He broke the seven, five, seven standard of haikus!"

"How revolutionary!"

Dib saw Tel's hand rise to his face and covered it, disgruntled at his people's growing idiocy. Dib also left quickly, not wanting to watch the Dibship's torture any longer.

Dib saw Kor cleaning up her tools that had fell, he helped her out and she was starting to walk away.

"Hey, wait," Dib shouted.

"What?" Kor asked.

"I wanted to ask you this for a while, why are you putting up with us?"

"What do you mean exactly?"

"Well it's not like you were forced into staying with us all this time due to an inability to go anywhere else or being bounded by your word like Tel. You could leave anytime you want."

"I get a free room, free food, access to a laboratory stocked with the most advance alien technology and all I have to do in exchange is screw a few bolts and shoot some things. Leaving this sounds like ___such _a great idea. Why'd you ask, are you implying something?"

"No, I was just-"

"Listen, Dib, I'll be the first one to admit that I didn't plan my goal to get off of Fefa all the way through. I was only focused on getting off Fefa and never coming back, so that means I have nowhere else to go. I blew up my last remaining relative, so I have no contacts whatsoever. I have nothing, Dib, except for this! Even if I know this is a crazy, stupid mission where I know I'm probably going to wish I never came, it's at least something for me! So what about you, why are you here?"

"I-I don't know," Dib wore a saddened look on his face. Seeing this, Kor thought she might've been too harsh with her words and let out an audible sigh.

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said. I was just fired up and-"

"No, you're right, you have something while I have nothing. I only came on this thing to secretly take pictures of Zim for when we get back to earth and maybe learn more about aliens, but recently I just feel so empty. Zim obviously doesn't care about being revealed on earth anymore, he even saved my life. I don't know why I do anything anymore."

"Stop thinking about it so much. The fact is that you're here now, and you'll be staying here. So just relax and stop moping around the ship. I may be goth but I only have so much tolerance for angst." Kor took her things and then walked away.

Dib returned to the cockpit, where the monkey was still piloting the ship. Dib stared into deep space in the window, still troubled by his pointlessness. He wasn't good enough to be a soldier like Tel, not smart enough about alien technology like Kor, not nearly as much of a kiss-up to Zim like Skoodge, Gaz didn't care about anything, and Dib doesn't want to be whatever Gir is. He couldn't pursue his hobby of earthly mysteries in space, and it's not like he had to prove to people that Zim was an alien in space. He started thinking about how long he had spent his life trying to prove Zim's alien origins, it was a long think.

Dib sat down and sighed, he muttered under his breath, "Stupid monkey."

* * *

The Irken Armory Planet, Oberox, one of the few planets that did not have native inhabitants that was invaded by the Irken Empire, needless to say, the Invader that conquered it had a very easy time. The terrain was made of tiny, red, crystallized particles, similar to earth snow but it didn't melt into a liquid state. Settlements had been made by the Irkens in one area, though they were small and surrounded the main reason why the Irkens kept the planet. The settlements surrounded the towering fortress that is the Irken Armory.

The fact that it stored all of the Irken weaponry for other Irken colonies made it a prime target for any opposition to the Irken rule. Indeed, Oberox had been under heavy resistance for three years. However, the effect of this resistance was minimal; their several plans of attacking the Irken fortress all failed and their members were dying in each suicide mission. Yet they kept attacking it, like the fly that's trying to hang around your face. This greatly irked the Irken who had conquered this planet and was given leadership over it, Invader Togan.

Togan was about the same height as the crew on the Irken Massive. He had conquered Oberox during Operation: Genesis Doom when the Tallest Miyuki reigned. Togan wasn't just given leadership just because he conquered Oberox though, it was also due to his abilities. During his early years, Togan underwent an experimental process that gave him psychic powers, the same process Tak would also go through. However, he used his own genius to add on to the implant, drilling more and more metal into his own cranium, until his skull was a metallic mess but made him the most powerful Irken psychic to ever live.

"Sir, we've received another report of an attack by the resistance," One of the Irkens that served Togan had just found his leader outside the fortress staring of into the vast emptiness of Oberox.

"That petty band of beings that have never breached the walls of the fortress, don't they know it's pointless?" Togan said.

"Well, uh, they finally broke through the wall, sir."

"WHAT? I step out for a stroll and your IMCOMPETENCE had caused these insects to actually break the WALL!"

"B-but -"

"QUIET! I'll deal with this nuisance by myself." Togan began walking off towards the fortress, leaving his subordinate alone. Togan then stopped and turned around, "I forgot one thing."

"What is it, si-ER!" A robotic Irken hand with three bladed claws where the fingers would be had slightly pierced his chest. He recognized it as Togan's, being propelled by his psychic powers. "W-why, sir?"

"I do not like to be disturbed during my peaceful walks, and frankly, you're just too stupid to live."

"B-but sir, I'm you're most trusted adviser, WE WENT TO INVADER SCHOOL TOGETHER!"

"You were stupid back then too."

"SI-" Togan had propelled his hand straight through, leaving a hole from the Irken's chest to his PAK. Togan returned his hand to his wrist and wiped the blood and circuitry off.

"Why must I keep reminding them to not disturb me when I go outside," Togan started walking back towards the fortress, not even glancing at the corpses of his other past advisers that died from his previous walks.

* * *

"Leader, we've breached the wall," The radio chatter from the resistance infiltration team had reached the resistance base. There stood the leader of the Oberox resistance, a being encased entirely in armor. He listened silently with his other resistance members.

"We're transmitting scans of the interior right now."

"You have to hurry, the Irkens should have noticed you by now."

"Leader, when we agreed to do this mission we had already accepted our deat-"

"Infiltration team? Answer me!" The sound of lasers and screams could be heard through the radio, within seconds there was silence.

"Oh my Gods, he wiped out every so quickl-"

"Squad leader, get out-"

"OH MY GODS, IT'S DRILLING THROUGH MY CHEST CAVITY!"

"Squad-"

"AHHHHHHHH!"

"Squa-"

"AHHHHHHHH!"

"Squ-"

"AHHHHHHHH!" The leader decided to wait a bit longer until the screams died.

"Hello, is he finally dead? I kept stabbing and stabbing but it just took so long to do it." The armored leader recognized the voice, it was Togan. "Is this the Leader of the Resistance? You realize how cliché that title is, right? Leader of the Resistance, you should've tried a different title, like Emperor or Overlord of the Resistance, something to make this little game we're playing mildly interesting."

"Are my men-"

"Dead, all of them, and they better be. I wasted so much effort sliced through them. You need to stop with these attacks, Mr Leader, my hand is starting to rust from all the blood." The radio became silent.

* * *

Zim and the others had entered Oberox's orbit, safely landing in the port of the surrounding settlement. Zim gathered everyone in the cockpit.

"For once you guys didn't crash into a planet," Kor said.

"This is Oberox! Home to the mighty Irken fortress known as the Irken Armory! With walls so solid, not even a moose can break them!" Zim said.

"So now that we're here, did you actually think of a plan for once?"

"Of course, we attack-"

"It's stupid," Gaz interrupted.

"What?"

"Your plan, it's stupid."

"I didn-"

"It doesn't matter what your plan is, they're always stupid."

"HOW-"

"Stupid."

"But-"

"Stupid."

"Plan-"

"Stupid."

"WHAT IF I DON'T HAVE A PLAN!"

"So you don't have a plan?"

"None, and therefore you can no longer spout your nonsense about my genius plan if it doesn't exist, ha!"

"Well, that just makes you stupid then."

"You grate on my receptive fibers, human!"

"Oo, oo! I have a plan!" Gir said.

"Well why not, Gir, since SOMEONE here is denying my genius, maybe she'll accept an idea from a...this."

"Yaaay! We should all go sightseeing! I brought the cameras!" Gir opened his mouth and stuck his hand in, trying to get something from the inside of his body, he was really struggling.

"Gir! This isn't some vacation for you to go frolicking in flowery fields of mushy plants!"

"It's not that bad of an idea," Gaz said.

"What? You want to frolic too, Gaz-human?"

"No, I mean reconnaissance, instead of attacking a giant fortress head on. You know, blend in, analyze its weakness, and then attack, sound familiar?"

"She has a point," Kor said.

"Are you insisting that Gir's plan is superior to my superior plan originating from the superior being known as Zim?"

"Yes." Zim was shocked, to think that Gir had inspired a better plan than his, or at least by everyone else's point of view, it had made his mind run labyrinths before coming back to his senses.

"Fine! Skoodge! You and the ZMDA will remain in the Dibship. Gaz, Dib, Gir, Kor, and I will gather data on the armory. Remain alert just in case we run into some trouble."

* * *

"Beings have exited the ship."

"Can you identify their species?"

"I can't recognize the one dressed in black."

"There's three of them wearing black."

"The squishy looking one."

"They all look squishy looking."

"The green one."

"There's two of them."

"Well, brother, you can try identifying them."

"Gladly...the pinkish one looks familiar."

"There's two of them."

"Well, brother, how about we just agree that we don't know anything."

"That's agreeable."

"Ind-wait. You see that one with the two antennas."

"There's-wait there's only one of them."

"That's an Irken."

"Really?"

"I'm sure of it."

"Setting target to Irken."

"Commence movement on target."

* * *

The settlement on Oberox lacked life. It felt as empty as the stomach of a starved whale. Gir was constantly running back and forth between structures as Zim and the others walked down the road. On one side, it was nothing but vast red Oberox crystals in view, however on the other side was a great wall, Zim was certain on the other side would be the armory. They were looking for an opening in this wall.

"Are you sure the Irken Armory is on the other side of this wall?" Dib asked.

"I can smell and taste the Irken tech on the other side. It reeks of superiority and has the flavor of impending DOOM!" Zim said.

"Excuse me," The voice came from behind them, they turned to find the first being they've seen on Oberox. He was a tall purple being, covered in scales like a lizard and had a head crest that was similar to earthen hair. Behind him was a long, lizard tail and his exposed feet also had claws. Despite the similarities to a walking lizard there were just as many dissimilarities, his face was flat like a human's but lacked any sort of nostrils, ears, and a mouth. His eyes were a single solid color, blue. Most noticeable, however, was the lack of any arms but his hands were still there, floating beside him. One hand revealed Gir, held by one leg. He lifted Gir up and asked, "Is this your robot?"

"Master, look, I got captured!" Gir shouted with his usual glee.

"You know, by now I'd usually be questioning his illogical biology, but I think I got desensitized from our time in space," Dib said.

"My Irk, he's hideous!" Zim shouted.

"Yes, that's our robot," Kor answered.

"Thank you for answering and not commenting on my appearance," he said. "I found your bot clutching on my skull. Also, it might be obvious, but I must ask, is your robot...malfunctioning?"

"Malfunctioning?" Zim said, "Gir is a highly advance Irken robotic servant designed for heavy surveillance of weaker species weaknesses so that we may crush them swiftly! Malfunctioning, NO! He was always like this. Built stupid, VERY LIKELY!"

"I see, so you're Irken." He tossed Gir back at them, "So are these other beings your slaves?"

"Of course!"

"Not," Gaz said, "I'm human, and so is the other stupid looking dweeb, from Earth."

"I'm Fefian," Kor said, "And we aren't his slaves, servants, or loyal friends, just...partially willing companions."

"Interesting, this is the first I've ever heard of an Irken being on relatively non-hostile terms with non-Irkens since they ended friendly relations with the Vortions," he said, "I am a Darvon, nice to meet you."

The Darvon held out his hand, similar to an earthen handshake. Zim was a bit confused at first, since he was unfamiliar with the gesture and was still taken aback by the Darvon's hideous aesthetics. Gir jumped forward in front of Zim and stared stupidly at the Darvon. This confused him greatly.

"He's got a boomstick!" Gir said.

"What's a boomstick?" Zim asked.

"I don't have anything!" The Darvon said nervously.

"Yes you do," Gir shouted, "It's right there!" Gir pointed to the huge blaster strapped to his back.

"How did we not notice that," Dib said.

"I don't get it, how does the word boomstick relate to a Giant Fraction Blaster," Zim continued to ponder.

"What's a Giant Fraction Blaster? And why does he-"

"Alright, you caught me!" The Darvon shouted. He held out his blaster and pointed it at the group. Everyone was shocked when they saw the giant barrel staring them in the face, all except Zim, who was still pondering his conundrum, and Gir, who continued to maintain his gleeful demeanor.

They turned around to try and run in the opposite direction but got cut off by another creature. He was similar to the other being, the only difference being the existence of an actual lizard snout and mouth and he walked on all fours. There was also what seemed to look like a gatling turret on his back.

"Settle down, Kry, don't go tearing into them, yet," The Darvon said. The creature just continued to snarl at them, preventing the group from leaving.

"My Irk, he's hideous too, though less than the other one!" Zim said.

"It's quite rare to see an Irken aircraft dock outside the fortress, it's quite suspicious,"

"We aren't doing anything," Dib said.

"He's Irken, that's already a good enough reason for me to blast him to pieces, and you're his allies, which actually only gives me enough reason to horrifically maul you. Nonetheless, tell me your plans before I blast you to the six and a half corners of Oberox, you buggy drone!"

Zim was staring off into another direction, almost as if he hasn't heard anything since Gir's comment.

"Zim, hurry up and do something," Gaz yelled at him. The sound of the Darvon's blaster charging alerted the others. "ZIM!"

"Boom, boom, stick...wait!" Zim exclaimed, "How DARE you call the mighty Zim a buggy drone!"

"GOD DAMMIT ZIM!"

"You'll RUE the day you call Zim a buggy drone! Gir, attack sequence SW!"

"Yes Sir!" Gir activated his duty mode and did several superfluous flips and spins, twirling all the Darvon while waving his hands up and down. The Darvon ignored Gir's actions.

"You know what, just shoot me now, it's not like I'll die and I'd rather suffer through pain than this stupidity," Kor said.

"SAY GOODBYE TO LIFE, IRKEN!" The Darvon yelled.

"Halt, brother!" The Darvon stopped charging his Giant Fraction Blaster on command. He looked away from the group and stared behind them. It was another Darvon, almost identical except his head crest was different and his skin was red. "You calm down too, Kry," The creature stopped snarling and started backing down.

"What do you want, Ere? The target has been confirmed as Irken, we've been given commands to kill them on site so let me spill this one's blood already."

"Orders have changed, I just got off talking to the Leader, they want to interrogate him instead. Besides I'm not going to let you kill these other beings when they have no accounts of hostile activity."

"They're Irken allies, besides I wasn't going to kill them, only maim, horrifically."

"Brother, do not incite me." The original Darvon reluctantly lowered his blaster, much to the relief of Zim and the others. The Darvon then quickly swung his blaster, knocking Zim into an old building, knocking him out cold.

* * *

When Zim woke up he was in a dark, dank, cold cell, pretty much any adjective you could associate with a prison could describe it. He heard a loud rattling sound, which only turned out to be Gir running his head through the bars. Gaz, Dib, and Kor were sitting against the bars, glaring angrily at Zim.

"What?" Zim asked.

"Attack Sequence SW? What the hell was that!" Gaz asked.

"A highly advance Irken combat maneuver defaulted into the hardware of Gir."

"Highly advance my ass! All he did was spin a hundred times, how does that aid in combat!"

"DO NOT BELITTLE THE POWER OF SPINNING!"

"Anything, and I mean ANYTHING would've been more helpful. I dunno, Gir's jets, your spider legs, hell, launching a sandwich at him would've been more effective. It always worked on Dib."

"Hey, those bread slices were whole wheat!" Dib interjected.

"Or here's an idea, maybe you could've pulled a blaster on him! He took twenty minutes before he even started firing."

"Well we were on a reconnaissance mission, blasters aren't needed," Zim said, "Now if we went with my vastly superior plan then of course I would've had blasters."

"It was a suicidal mission to storm a base, a most likely HEAVILY guarded base, without any prior knowledge of the building!"

"Suicidal tasks are always such problems with you humans."

"Shouldn't we stop them?" Dib asked Kor while Zim and Gaz were still going at it.

"Nah, watching those two fight is half the reason I like staying with you guys so much," Kor said. Zim and Gaz continued their argument until things escalated into physical violence, mostly from Gaz. "Alright, that's enough. Hey, you two stop your lover's quarrel so that we can actually think logically!"

"What Kor?" Gaz said.

"And what is this quarreling of lovers you speak of?" Zim asked.

"Zim, why don't you just contact Skoodge to find us. I'm sure he could track your signal if he's half as competent as he seems to be," Kor said.

"Yes, I shall contact Skoodge, what a brilliant idea that stemmed from my brain."

"Contact your friend and I get to get rid of the itch on my trigger finger," A light turned on, revealing the same Darvon that held them at gunpoint. He was standing against a wall, with the other Darvon creature, Kry, by his side.

"It's you! The hideous being that knocked me unconscious!"

"And I had fun doing it."

"How dare you harm the brain of Zim! You'll suffer a fate even worse than Zim's wrath! The pain will make you wish to feel Zim's wrath! Oh if only you could feel this wrath, it's squishy just like your innards!"

"Yeah? Well I-"

"Calm down, brother," The red Darvon, Ere, entered the room, "I apologize for my brother's, Daj's, hostility. Frankly, I'm not fond of you Irkens as well but I can at least overcome my own feelings for the sake of a mission. I must thank you for coming with us voluntarily though."

"Well you kind of knocked Zim into a building, I'd rather be captured with my bones intact," Dib said.

"Thank you for thinking logically, now our leader would like to speak with you all, more specifically you, the being with second lenses." Three beings then entered the room, two of them Dib vaguely remembered. The one in the center was covered from head to toe in some sort of armor. He walked in front of Dib, examining him.

"Oh wow, I can't believe it. Is it really you, Dib?" He spoke.

"We've met before?" Dib said questioningly.

"Of course, you were also the last human I ever saw since I left!" The armored leader removed his helmet, revealing the being underneath.

"No way! Mr. Dwicky? My old elementary school counseling teacher Mr Dwicky?"

"I'm so glad you remembered me, Dib! After all these years!"

"Well, you were the only one to ever give me a sense of companionship inside and at the same time rip it out. You also took the only proof of aliens with you when you left and was the only one I ever convinced that aliens exist, well only living person at least."

"Living?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Anyway, yes Dib, that was me!"

"Yeah, I was really pissed that day."

"Oh, is that Zim? Glad to see you two finally being friends."

"We aren't."

"So what brings you out to space?"

"Hold on, first off answer to me how the hell and why you're the leader of...whatever this is! To see another human in space is one thing but a human I not only know, but was once my counselor is just crazy!"

"Alright, I think you kids deserve the truth first. It all started years ago..."

* * *

When I left with Spoocti and Mooshy I was the happiest person in space. They were traveling merchants so I got to see so many planets, travel around, not through, stars, and with aliens! That was great for the year or so it lasted...

"So how you like space travel so far, man?" Spoocti was piloting the Plookesian vessel with Mooshy in the co-pilot's seat. Meanwhile, I was staring out a window of the ship, looking at the vast emptiness of space.

"This is such an out of mind experience!" I said.

"Hear that, Spoocti? Just travel a bit more and you'll get his brain to fall out of his head!" Mooshy said.

"Hahaha, that's so funny, Mooshy!" Spoocti calmed himself a bit after laughing so hard. "Hey, we're going to dock on Plookesia in order to restock on supplies, just giving you a heads up."

"Your home planet? Cool!" I had never seen their home planet before. Spoocti's and Mooshy's ship had vast amount of weaponry in their storage, so you can assume that it took a while for them to be low on supplies. I wasn't expecting the surprise when we got there.

* * *

"Wow, you planet looks so...uninhabitable," That was my first response after landing. Their home world looked like it was ripped apart, crumbled, and it was on fire too!

"Oh boy, this does not look good," Mooshy said.

"Spoocti, Mooshy, that you?" A battered Plookesian with a piece missing from his container unit came out from under the rubble.

"Peckry! What happened here?"

"Yeah, well, you know Vasen?"

"You mean that guy who looked like an Irken inside one of our container suits?"

"Yeah! Turns out, he was Irken, sent to invade our planet!"

"No way!"

"Jeez, I just thought he had a birth defect," Spoocti said.

"He just signaled the armada to completely conquer this planet so we have to get off this planet quickly!" Peckry said hastily.

"How long until they get here?"

"I don't-" There was a rumbling in the sky, soon it was littered by hundreds of purple ships, led by a ship that was a hundred times larger than the rest. A large cannon appeared on the large ship and it started charging, emitting a purple glow. We all stared, in awe at the size of the armada.

"Oh bo-" The laser fired, just missing Spoocti, Mooshy, and I, but Peckry disintegrated before our eyes.

"Listen guys, we gotta get out of here now!" Spoocti tried to lead us to the ship but another laser had cut us off. The other ships started firing, raining lasers and missiles down upon the planet, causing even more buildings to fall. We started running towards the ship once the laser passed, climbing over the debris, until I saw Spoocti and Mooshy getting far ahead of me.

I turned around to see that a building had fell on my bad leg, the adrenaline had caused me to not notice the debris hitting it. Spoocti and Mooshy noticed how I wasn't with them and turned around.

"Just leave me behind!" I yelled.

"Hey, now don't go off spitting lines like that," Spoocti said.

"Yeah, we'll get you out of here," Mooshy said. They tried pulling me out and lifting the debris but it didn't work. They looked at each other before facing me.

"Alright, we got an idea but it's gonna hurt, a lot."

"What are you going to do-AAHHHHHH!" I felt a very sharp pain. Mooshy then helped me up and I spotted a bloody pair of scissor like objects that he had. I looked down, seeing a bloody stump where my left leg used to be. "MY GOD! YOU CUT ME LEG OFF!"

"It's either that or dying," Spoocti put my other arm around his shoulder and they started running while carrying me.

"We'll fix it up in the ship, Dwicky, just try not to focus on the pain too much," Mooshy tried to reassure me. I started feeling faint from the loss of blood, but I held on until we reached the ship. They quickly tied my leg up to stop the blood and tried to start the ship.

"Spoocti, how are we gonna get past the Irkens without blowing up?" Mooshy asked.

"We gotta try something, Mooshy," he replied. The ship suddenly started shaking, it had been hit by one of the missiles. Everything grew dark, first it was the lights that shut off, then I feel unconscious.

When I woke up, things were still dark. I tried to struggle only to find Mooshy restraining me and keeping me silent. He and Spoocti had hid in a compartment with me, hearing the sound of Irkens exploring the ship. We hoped that we were well hidden enough for them to ignore us, but my luck just wasn't with me that day. Two Irken soldiers had opened the compartment, pulling us out.

"My Irk, what is that thing!" One of them said. It took me a bit to figure out they were talking about me.

"It's like some hideous...worm scum or something," Spoke the other one.

"Do, do we shoot it?"

"Ugh, the thought of its innards splattering all over me is too disgusting,"

"Jeez, you're right, man I touched that thing too!"

"Don't worry, you have gloves on."

"Yeah, but now I have to burn it, this was my favorite glove!"

"What do we do with it now?"

"Let's just put it back where we found it."

"What about the other two?"

"Man I don't care, if I have to stare at that thing any longer I'll burn my eyes."

"Alright then." They stood motionless for a couple of minutes.

"Well, what are you waiting for?"

"I'm not touching that thing."

"Why not?"

"Cause these are my favorite gloves."

"Man, I hate you. You better buy me a new pair of gloves, and from Gloventia too, not that cheap knock-off glove planet." And with that they shoved us back into the compartment. I never thought the day would come where bigotry saved my life.

"Sirs," A third Irken had appeared, "We found some weapons on the ship, there aren't that many but they're all of high quality."

"Good, just transport the ship to Oberox, I don't want to go any deeper into this ship to find another one of those things," said one of the original Irkens.

"What did you find?"

"Something that would haunt your nightmares and cause your waste to vomit."

Just like that, we found ourselves transported straight to a planet filled with Irkens. On Oberox I came face to face with Togan, the Irken in charge of this planet where he quickly got disturbed and discarded me, Spoocti, and Mooshy into the labor fields in the outer rim after trying to dig through my mind. Apparently he was grossed out by my experiences from before I became a counselor.

After spending one year in the fields and living with the other miserable laborers, I decided to brighten their spirits a bit. Using what I learned in my psychology classes, I motivated them but inadvertently caused them to riot and start a rebellion. Eventually I got placed as the leader for my ability to motivate the others. We raided Irken shipments for weapons, got my leg fixed, and I lived through many encounters with Togan, mostly because he didn't really care about us enough to wipe us all out.

* * *

"Honestly, he had good reason to not care, seeing as all our attacks against the fortress have failed except for recently. The resistance probably would've died out by now if it wasn't for me being so darn good at keeping our morale up," as Dwicky finished his story a saddened and crying resistance member walked by. "What's the matter soldier?"

"My brother died in the last raid, he had so much to live for!" The soldiered continued to weep.

"It's gonna be okay, buddy!" Dwicky patted him in the back, in an instant it was if new life had flown through the resistance member.

"I FEEL LIKE I CAN KILL 20 TOGANS! WOOOOOO!"

"See what I mean?"

"I still can't buy the fact that a teacher from our elementary school is a resistance leader," Gaz said.

"Stranger things have happened, I guess," Dib said.

"The sad part of that, Dib, is that you're actually right."

"Alright, so Mr Dwicky. You traveled through space, became a highly revered leader, and are now fighting for the common good of the universe?"

"That's right," Dwicky answered.

"Wow, that's everything I've always wanted!"

"I also still have the only recorded proof of aliens from all those years ago."

"Why couldn't this stuff happen to me!"

"He's like a grown up version of you, Dib, minus the crazy," Gaz said. She looked at Mr Dwicky to see one of his eyes twitch, "Maybe."

"So how did they fix your leg?"

"Let me show you," Spoocti said, he lifted Dwicky's leg and removed the armored boot, revealing a robotic prosthetic. "It took me and Mooshy forever to scrounge up part here, but we managed."

"Wow, that's so cool. I wish I had a robotic limb, minus the pain part of acquiring it of course."

"It gives him a higher jump, greater mobility and agility, and also kicks pretty hard too."

"Is that it? No rockets, hidden compartment for weapons, or laser swords?"

"Laser swords? Hahahaha, we don't have the intelligence or technology to make one of those, let alone attach it to a foot."

"If you're done with your geek talk, can you let us out of here?" Gaz said.

"Not just yet," Mooshy said, "First your Irken friend has to promise not to harm or sabotage us, otherwise he'll be shot on the spot."

"You dare strip me of my ability to inflict pain and bodily harm unto others?" Zim said.

"It's either you help us or die," Mooshy then pulled out a blaster and pointed it at Zim.

"Fine, I'll help you, but only because our goals are similar and to stop your incessant begging."

"Why are these drones always so delusional," Daj said.

"Eh, we can use the help," Ere said. He opened the door to the prison.

"It was open this entire time?" Dib asked.

"This is the first time we ever got prisoners, and we misplaced the lock ages ago. Usually, anybody we captured ended up dying."

"I'm sorry, Ere, for having an itchy trigger finger. Besides, it's not like I killed all of them, Kry killed all the ones I didn't," Daj said.

"You're all welcome in the resistance base for as long as you want or until Togan decides to finally destroy us all," Dwicky said.

"Human worm," Zim said, "If I am to succeed in my glorious plan I must look at all the data you gathered about the Irken armory."

"Certainly, my infiltration team was able to scan the interior despite giving their lives for it." Dwicky and the other resistance members led Zim and the others out of the room, while Daj stood behind them, in the same spot Zim had first found him after he woke up. Before leaving the room, Zim waited in the doorway.

"Mark my words, hideous lizard worm, while I may not be able to inflict any harm on you now, Zim will have his revenge for hitting me with your blaster."

Daj glared at him and spoke with a humored tone, "Try it, drone."

* * *

Derim was now a wasteland, it was as if the Irken Armada itself had attacked the planet. A lone Irken had hid under fallen debris. It had served him well so far as he had avoided dying in the main storming of the planet, though the bodies of the many Irkens he watched get slaughtered were not as lucky as he was. The beings had stormed the building he was working in, no, beings implied a sense of humanity, they were monsters. They marched in and fired their lasers, not at all disturbed by the carnage of their actions. Even when some of their own were shot and killed, they did not look back, they did not flinch, they just continued to march on.

The debris had fell on him during the fight, though injuring him, saved him from experiencing the same fate as the others. If he ever returned to Irk, he would be branded as a cowered and be banished to Dirt or Hobo 13, but he didn't care. He wanted to live. He hoped that the time would come soon for those things to leave the planet, so that he may escape. It was dark under the debris, he wanted to see the light again, to move freely again, to cool his parched mouth with liquids...

Tap. The noise had ruined the silence, his last comfort. Tap. It was a footstep, walking slowly. Tap. There were pauses between each step, as if the being was carefully searching its surroundings, looking for survivors, for him. Tap. He could feel his cold sweat dripping down his face, his squeedly spooch started beating faster and faster, which scared him even more since squeedly spooches don't beat. Tap. The footsteps stopped, right in front of him, he saw the being clearly. It wasn't a monster like the ones that killed all the others. It was...

The light had appeared abruptly upon him, the debris had been moved and he was staring the being in the eyes. He was grabbed by the neck and lifted up, into the air. He tried to struggle but couldn't get out of the grip.

"Y-you, y-you're Irken!" He cried, but she did not respond to his outburst. "You're suppose to be w-with us! To be fully obedient to the Tallest! The control brai-"

He couldn't talk anymore, his blood had filled his mouth. A sharp pain had been felt in his chest, he didn't need to look down, he knew what it was. The Irken let him go. The light reflected his still eyes, his body was motionless, his cold blood spilling from his jaws.

The Irken activated her communicator on her wrist, emitting a hologram of a shadowed figure.

"Planet has been cleared, sir, all Irken surveillance systems are now offline," she spoke to the Employer.

The Employer laughed softly at his first step to victory, "Muy bueno, Tak."


	20. The Armory of DOOM Part 2

"WHERE! ARE! MY! WEAP-AH!" The bloody remains of the freshly blown up Darvon splattered over the smart Darvons who knew better than to stand up in a trench. It had been twelve hours since the "Darvon" known as Loren destroyed their main military base and revealed himself to be an Irken. The Irken Armada arrived two hours later.

The remaining military forces on the planet were fighting the opposing Irken Armada, choosing death over enslavement. It was a losing battle, even though the Darvons had forced the Irken to ground combat after taking out a third of their fleet, any communications from the forces around the planet were always about how another city was captured or the number of Darvons that had died. Yet the Darvons still chose to fight.

Daj was shuffling through the other soldiers in a trench, all either wounded or dead, calling out to his brother. He and his brother were trainees who were forced into their first real combat scenario just hours ago. Despite the harsh and cruel training Daj went through over the years, he lacked the composure of a soldier that can only be gained by experience. He was scared. He was scared of seeing more Darvons get blown apart, scared of being blown apart, scared of seeing his brother get blown apart.

"Daj?" The voice was faint and weak, Daj quickly ran towards the source. There was Ere, leaning against the trench wall, his leg was gushing blood.

"Ere, what happened?" Daj asked.

"Shrap...nel, from a Dar...von skull, that...exploded," Ere spoke faintly.

"We have to patch up this wound somehow, lets see" Daj spotted an Irken corpse on the ridge of the trench, apparently some foolish soldier who tried to charge the Darvon line and failed. The Irken's cloth were intact and not heavily burned by laser fire. Next to the corpse was its spear, perfect for tearing fabric. Daj got an idea and quickly treated Ere's wound.

"Um, Daj, are you sure this is the best way to treat my wound?"

"Of course, Irken skin is highly durable, so it should last for a long time. Now add some Irken blood on the edges for an adhesive and done, no more blood."

"Couldn't you just-"

"Brother, this was the best solution."

"But what about the clo-"

"The BEST solution."

"Bu-"

"The BEST."

"Fine."

"Alright, now you gotta get out of here."

"What? You want me to run? Like some sort of cowardly villain?"

"If it means you get to live longer, then yes."

"Nay, brother!"

"Nay?"

"How can I hope to achieve my dream if I run away? How can I live with myself knowing that I consciously chose to abandon my people in their time of need? What kind of hero is that?"

"Hero? You're STILL thinking about that, even when our planet's demise could be seconds away?"

"Of course!" Ere rose to his feet, "In our planet's darkest hour, I will be the light that fuels the planet! When my people fall, I will rise, then make the Irkens fall, at which my people will rise again! When this rock is blown to pieces, I wi-" Daj pushed his brother to the ground, narrowly avoiding the missile that flew over their heads.

"I swear, your heroic moments will get you killed!"

"Just like true heroes!" Daj knew Ere would run into battle even without legs at this point, somehow defying the laws of nature, just to be a hero.

"Fine, but we stay together. If we go down, we go down together."

"Fighting evil together with my brother, I couldn't ask for more."

"How about a chance at winning this battle?"

"Let's go, sidek-"

"Do NOT call me that." Daj helped his brother to his feet. Together they climbed over the walls of the trench, screaming into the air. Not even a foot later, Ere fell to the ground. Daj looked back to see his brother before he too fell to the ground, in pain, before blacking out.

* * *

Daj woke up to darkness, his first thought was whether he was dead or not. After recalling what had happened, he was betting that he was dead. However he was incredibly frustrated, not at that he died but rather he died without killing anything. In his first battle he not only died but failed to kill a single Irken. He slammed his fist to the ground in frustration, only to hit something scaly.

The lights turned on, Daj saw that he was in either a large garage or a small hanger, because he saw a lone ship next to him. Daj looked down to see Ere, the scaly thing he had hit was his head. He didn't think his brother would wake up soon.

"So, you finally woke up," Another Darvon appeared and approached Daj. Unlike him and his brother, this Darvon had a lizard-like snout, signifying that he was an old generation Darvon. He smiled at Daj, displaying the sharp teeth that lined the inside of his mouth. Daj knew the smile too well, it was the smile that had raised him for years.

"Kry? What's going on?" Daj asked.

"Well, to put it simply, I knocked out both you and Ere, dragged you guys back to the house, and am going to put both of you on a ship off this planet," Kry said.

"What! We can't just leave, Darvons are dying out there, and to run away-"

"Is the best solution. You two are too young to die today, you have to live, for your people, for yourselves, and for me." Daj saw Kry's tearful look, he couldn't bring himself to deny Kry's wish.

"Fine, but how'd you get this ship anyway?"

"I've been working on it for years, ever since Loren first came here. I made it as a last resort, seeing as how no one else believed me that he wasn't a Darvon."

"Well he had a convincing disguise."

"He had antennae, no tail, and weird ligaments that connected his hands to his body!"

"He said he had a skin condition."

"AND YOU ALL BELIEV- you know what, never mind, lets just get your brother on the ship, though he should be awake by now, I wonder why he's still knocked out."

"Oh, something must've hit his head while you were dragging him," Daj said, pretending like he didn't punch his brother in the face earlier. Daj and Kry carried Ere into the ship and strapped him down.

"Alright, since we forced them to ground combat, they won't be focusing much on what goes in and out of this planet, you should slip by. I don't know where you'll land but there are rations, beacons, stunners, rifles, and other blasters in here."

"Wait, Kry, you aren't coming with us?"

"What? Of course I am, who said I wasn-" A large blast was heard. Irkens had destroyed a side of the house and started firing at them, "Looks like I won't, I'll hold them off, you guys go." Kry turned around to face the Irkens.

"No, Kry, you have to come with us, I'll make sure of it."

"Daj, you have to go. I just want you and Ere's safet-ARRBLAGARBLAGARRR!" Daj had taken a stunner from ship and shot Kry in the head with it, causing him to black out. Fortunately, the Irkens that were firing at them weren't good shots, giving enough time for him to pull Kry inside, close the door, and launch the ship. As Daj went higher, more or the carnage caused by the Irkens became visible. The laser burns on the lands, the bodies of Darvons dead in the streets, entire structures nothing but rubble. Once in space, Daj turned away, not wanting to see his entire planet in ruin. He looked at the stunner in his hand, wondering what will happen to them now. He then noticed a red label on the side, "WARNING: Do Not Shoot At Head."

"Oh Crap."

Daj woke up from his dream, reliving a past memory wasn't exactly how he wanted to relax. Kry sat there watching him, his mind now reduced to its primal state after Daj electrocuted him. Daj went back to sleep, waiting until it was time for him to shoot more Irkens.

* * *

"...I don't remember much after blacking out, but according to Daj, Kry protected us from the attacking Irkens and as a consequence, was reverted to a primal state. After I woke up, we landed on Fuelia Portia, a wretched hive of pitch salesman and obsessed collectors," Ere was recounting how he lost his planet to Irkens to Dib and Kor. After being released, Ere offered to show them around the compound, but Zim only wanted to plan his next attack, Gaz and Gir followed him. Dib and Kor were the only ones to take Ere's offer.

"So what happened next?" Dib asked.

"Well first, we sold most of our weapons for money, despite Daj's protest. Then we worked as sales mascots, saving up to buy real shelter, that is, until Daj used up all the savings to buy a Giant Fraction Blaster."

"He bought weapons when you already had some?"

"Yeah, if I recall correctly..."

* * *

"_You bought a what?"_

"_A Giant Fraction Blaster, or GFB for short."_

"_Why?"_

"_Well because it looked cool."_

"_You used up all the money we saved for a real shelter as well as our food money for the month just for something cool? Well, now that we ran out of food and there are holes in our ship, do you think it was worth it?"_

"_Being cool is priceless, if you look at it like that then you can see that this was a steal."_

"_HOW ARE WE SUPPOSE TO SURVIVE!"_

"_Woah, calm down, Ere, just think of how this thing can help us."_

"_How?"_

"_Well, it can shoot things."_

"_Shoot things, sure, we can solve all our problems by shooting things."_

"_Finally, you see things my way."_

"_IT WON'T HELP! I bet you can't even fire it correctly!"_

"_How dare you insult me like that. Of course I can!" Daj started fiddling around with the GFB. "You just have to flip this switchy thingy, then the lever over here, um, pull this knobby thingy, turn it upside down, pull the trigger, oops wrong trigger, um"_

"_Daj, just stop it before you hurt someo-" The blaster fired, sending a beam into the crowd of pedestrians._

"_ARRRGH, MY CHEST CAVITY! I CAN'T FEEL MY CHEST CAVITY! ARGBLAGARBLAGAR!"_

* * *

"He killed someone?" Dib asked.

"Oh yeah, but it actually turned out for the better," Ere responded.

* * *

"_Oh my gosh, he just shot someone!"_

"_They must be SUPERVILLAINS!"_

"_Call the authorities!" The crowd was in panic, believing Daj and me to be super criminals._

"_So Daj, today after I fed Kry our last rations I found out my brother spent all our money on a stupid giant gun, a gun that he doesn't even know how to operate, and because he shot someone we are now criminals, villains, wait, not just villains, SUPERVILLAINS! So what did you do today, Daj?" Ere said with sarcastic glee._

"_I shot someone!" Daj said with real glee._

"_Oh so glad to see your dream came true."_

"_Come on, Ere, this will work out somehow."_

"_Calm down calm down, everyone." A group of authorities walked out and silenced the crowd._

"_Sirs, those two shot this man!" They moved to examine the body._

"_Let's see, chest cavity completely vaporized, no functioning innards, massive fluid loss. Maybe he's dead, let's have our medical specialist examine him." Another being in white stepped out and carefully examined the body._

"_He's dead."_

"_Well that's all we need, time to bring those villains to justice!"_

"_Wait, this being. Isn't he the Slaughtering Salesman?"_

"_The rampant mass murderer who not only cuts prices but bodies as well?"_

"_Yes! We finally got him!"_

"_Those boys aren't villains, they're heroes...heroes...heroes..."_

* * *

"...heroes...heroes...heroes!" Kry stopped his echo, "The people were so grateful they rewarded us with money. Inspired by that day, me and Daj continued to act as heroes and the people were always willing to give us rewards for our acts of justice."

"Wow, heroes, really?" Dib said.

"Wait, if you're getting rewards then aren't you just a merce-" Kor was interrupted.

"Yes, Daj, Kry, and I were a team. We had many adventures, like the dastardly farmer that stopped paying the bills, or the old lady psycho that was harassing a group of gentle street thugs, or the little boy mastermind who had poked his classmate Sally the other day. Wherever we went, one patron was always happy with our work, and that was worth it. Daj even set up a hotline so we could be contacted!"

"Wow the dastardly-wait a minute," Dib suddenly realized the lack of sense in Ere's story.

"I was so enthralled in our heroics! Then came the day we lost to evil! Daj caught word that the authorities of Fuelia Portia have become corrupt, they did not favor our heroics, but we couldn't do anything about it. Daj said by destroying the authorities we would destroy the order of the planet, so it was better for the beings to live in their illusions. We left the planet soon after using a ship Daj said he prepared just for this moment, and thus we continued to spread our justice to the universe! Eventually bringing us here, helping the resistance. But to this day, I still promise to return to Fuelia Portia and purify the black gunk of corrupt doom from the face of innocent justice!"

"Uh, I don't think th-" Kor stopped Dib from continuing his sentence.

"It's probably better for him to believe his brother," Kor whispered to Dib.

"So what brings you to Oberox?" Ere asked.

"We're going to destroy the Irken Empire."

"The Irken Empire? How far reaching but if you put your mind to it, and add a dash of hope, you can do anything!"

"You sound like my mom."

"Well she must be a great being, now what are your stories?"

"I'd rather not tell mine," Kor said. However, Dib was a bit eager to tell his.

"Well if you ask..."

* * *

The Irken armory, though large in size, was not a complex structure. There were more empty rooms than full, reserved for future weapons. The living quarters were in the lowest floor of the structure, the storage rooms the floor above, and the weapons transport system on top. The Irkens would send weapons from the armory by placing them in a pod launching it to a planet using highly complicated warpgates, wormholes, hyperspace doohickey science. At the center of it all was the Centeroom, where all storage was monitored, all coordinates made, and where Togan sat most of the time.

Togan held disdain for his position as the Overseer of the Armory, it was boring and most of the time the others did their jobs so he lacked excuses to kill anyone. He wanted to be an Invader again, to conquer worlds and see the faces of families torn apart, friends holding the corpses of friends, the sheer terror in their eyes, but they were nothing but blissful memories since he got reassigned after he took up a "take no prisoners" policy with his invasion plan, it made getting slaves from the planet hard.

Then the rebellion happened, and his life was now full of joy and bliss. As long as he didn't kill too many of them, they would always attack. The other workers would often screw up during this time of crisis, which gave him an excuse to kill anyone who made a mistake. They couldn't hide their screw ups too, since he could read their mind. Just the thought of it made him want to dance, and he did.

"Uhh, sir?" A worker had come up to him to give him a status update on the hole.

"What is it? Can't you see that I'm busy!" Togan answered.

"I took the liberty of sanctioning the reconstruction of the hole in the wall."

"I see."

"Yes, we just have to-"

"Call off the reconstruction."

"Uh, sir?"

"Do it now ___before I feel like killing you_,"Togan said in a sing-song style.

"Y-yes sir," The worker quickly made a call to the other workers, telling them to stop all work on the hole.

"Good worker, you see that blade?" Togan pointed to a sharp metal object on the desk next to him.

"Y-yes, sir." Togan started levitation the blade slowly towards the worker, causing him to shake nervously.

"I don't feel like killing you," Togan lowered the blade into the worker's hand.

"Oh, thank you sir! Thank you-"

"Kill yourself with it." The worker was shocked.

"W-what sir?"

"Killing you myself would be too much work, so do it yourself."

"B-but sir, w-what did I do?"

"Who said you could sanction the reconstruction?"

"B-b-b-but-"

"Oh I guess we'll have to do it the hard way," Togan's implants started glowing, "******You want to kill yourself. You want to stab yourself with that blade. It'll pierce your skin and go straight through your body, just like you've always hoped for!**"

"N-no, no, noooooooo!" Despite the worker's verbal protest, his hand turned the blade onto himself. Slowly he brought it closer to his body. It wasn't complete mind control, not even Togan can make that technology, but the power of strong suggestion satisfied him for now. While the worker slowly pierced his body with the blade, Togan continued to dance.

"I'm surprised you gave in so quickly, my powers should be less effective on Irkens, you must be very weak willed. As for the hole, I want it open as sort of an invitation to the rebels. Let them think that I can't fix it and let them think it's an opening. I want them to go all out so that I may slaughter them all. I want this game to end before it gets too boring."

* * *

"You see, this armor actually prevents Togan from reading my mind, however there weren't enough supplies to duplicate the armor so I'm the only one that has it right now," Dwicky, along with Mooshy & Spoocti were escorting Zim, Gaz, and Gir to the command chamber where the maps of the interior of the Irken Armory were stored.

"I had to use my real right cyber-arm to make it!" Spoocti said.

"Ooo so now it's a fake cyber-arm?" Gir said.

"Yep, you wanna touch it?"

"Yaaay!" Gir climbed onto Spoocti and poked his arm. "It feels like metal!"

"Yep, it's exactly the same as my old arm, except fake."

"Zim, I really enjoy talking to your robot buddy," Dwicky said, grabbing Gir off of Spooti, "He's so free-spirited and full of energy, just like I was before the experiments, and when I talk to him, it's like I'm talking to a younger me and we connect with each other." Dwicky then hugged Gir like a plush toy.

"I can see why he became friends with Dib," Gaz said.

"So how is the Earth doing? I'm curious to know if anything major happened in the years I was gone."

"People getting dumber, civilization decaying, every third person you met was some sort of crazy, pretty much the same as always."

"That's great! So Zim didn't conquer the Earth?"

"The Earth was just mere moments away from complete domination by me, Zim!" Zim said.

"Really, that's interesting, all of my rebels had faced Irken conquest in some way. They talked about how the Irken took them over within a year."

"What! Within a SINGLE EARTH YEAR-uh, well those Invaders were just lucky, using rushed tactics for their conquest. A true genius Invader, such as Zim, carefully plans out the conquest, slowly destroying the planet until it is just mush in my Irken hands."

"I guess a true genius Invader also fails every attempt at conquering the planet," Gaz said.

"All those failures were all just set-ups to my master plan to conquer the earth!"

"I'm sure they were."

"We're here!" Dwicky stopped at a locked door. After entering a code and retinal scan, the door opened. There was a cylindrical structure in the middle, Mooshy and Spooti started pressing buttons to bring up a hologram of the Irken Armory, it revealed the entire interior of the building. Zim started inspecting the scans. "My men scanned the building just yesterday. I sent so many of my troops to the armory just for these scans. None of them returned, but it is worth it knowing that this information will not go to waste!"

"Yes, very accurate, almost as good as the one I have on my ship," Zim said.

"Wait, if you had the scans of the armory already, why did we go on recon?" Gaz asked.

"That wasn't my idea, remember?"

"..."

Zim examined the scans completely, marking off key areas. "You, tall earthworm, tomorrow you are to assemble all your troops. Be prepared for a final assault on the armory."

"Sure thing," Dwicky said, "I'll spend the night rallying them up for battle tomorrow."

"Gir, open communications with Skoodge."

"Tearing my head open," Gir said.

"Zim, how about you tell us what exactly it is you're planning first," Gaz said.

"Most of the weapons are stored here," Zim pointed to the bottom of the structure, "The earth-stink's troops and my armada will attack and pillage it, eventually working their way to the center. At the top is the Irken transport system, used to send weapons to other planets. With it disabled, the main supply of Irken firepower will be cut off. This is where I and a group will head. I'll of course take my reliable meat-shields with me, I'll also take your best soldiers."

"Oh, that means you'll take Daj, Ere, and Kry," Dwicky said.

"What about me and my brother?" Daj entered the room, still half asleep.

"Oh Daj, good, tomorrow you and your brother will be part of a suicide mission."

"With the drone?"

"Yep."

"Kay."

"Wait, before you begin choosing your soldiers for this mission I must know the survivability ratio," Zim said.

"Well, Togan is usually found in the upper area so most likely you'll come face to face with him," Spoocti said.

"And just how powerful is this Togan?"

"Oh he's crazy scary," Mooshy said, "what with his psychic powers and all. Last time we saw him he made me eat Spoocti's real left cyber-arm."

"We don't even have mouth openings on our suits," Spoocti said.

"That arm was pretty tasty though, Spoocti."

"Thank you, I made it myself. But yeah, your survival rate is pretty low."

"Then I welcome the scaly meat-shield to my group," Zim said.

"Meat-shield?" Daj said, "I'll shoot you first before I-"

"Now Daj, as an Irken, Zim has the best advantage against the enemy and has the best understanding of their technology, it would be much better for the mission if he survived." Dwicky said. Daj was greatly irked, knowing that he had to protect an Irken. Even when he was a mercenary he'd always killed Irkens, whether they were the client or target. "Now Daj, don't try to screw up the mission, okay?"

"Fine," Daj reluctantly answered.

"Good boy, and good luck tomorrow, tell your brother for me, I gotta rally some troops then head to bed." Dwicky left the room with Mooshy and Spoocti, leaving Zim, Gaz, Gir, and Daj.

"I am NOT going to be your meat-shield."

"Oh but you will be, lizard-stink, and when you get roasted by superior Irken weaponry I'll be there to stand over your ugly, char-broiled corpse and smell how delicious it is," Zim ended with his sinister laugh.

"He's not right in the head, is he?" Daj asked Gaz.

"Where I come from, that's normal," Gaz answered.

"...and on that day, even though I was ridiculed endlessly, isolated as a social outcast, and every Thanksgiving I was known as the Cranberry Gobbler, but I live knowing that the Winged-Turkey Devil will never haunt fake pilgrims again!" Dib, Ere, and Kor had entered the room, Dib just finishing recounting a past event to Ere.

"Wow!" Ere said, "Even when they turned their backs to you, you still saved them, now that's true heroism!"

"Really?"

"Yes, a hero must make sacrifices for what is right, you are-oh hey there, Daj."

"Having fun there, brother?" Daj asked.

"Yep, just showing these two around while swapping stories with Dib here. You know, he's a real hero, like us!"

"That's nice, by the way, we're going on a suicide mission inside the armory tomorrow. I'll give you details later."

"Great! I'll go get ready, well, see you guys later." Ere ran off, leaving behind a Darvon, a Fefian, two humans, a robot, and an Irken.

"You really got him deluded, don't you?" Kor asked.

"Please don't say anything to him, it's all he has in life," Daj begged.

"We'll keep quiet," Dib responded, "Did you say suicide mission?"

* * *

Back at the Dibship, Tel and Skoodge have been left alone for hours. The Dibship was dreading the hours the most. The Heboadians were wringing him dry of haiku, it made him want to write a haiku about hating haiku, and he did. He ended up not saying anything anymore, consequently, the Heboadians started becoming restless.

"We want haiku!" They chanted in unison.

"No!" cried the Dibship.

"We want haiku!"

"NO!" The Heboadians were getting violent thoughts by this time.

"Hey, he must have some sort of thought processor that makes the haiku!"

"Yeah, if we can somehow find it we can rewire it to constantly spew haiku for all eternity!"

"But how are we going to find it?"

"Let's start by TEARING HIM APART!" They started jumping up and down, ready to rip the Dibship apart.

"W-WAIT!" Shouted the Dibship.

"Haiku?" One of the Heboadians. The Dibship couldn't think of a haiku on the spot to calm them, every haiku he thought of had a six syllable line in it somewhere.

"Uh, I have something...something better than haiku!" He shouted in a panic. The Heboadians were intrigued, they calmed down and waiting for the Dibship to show them something amazing. "Uh, how about...poorly dubbed kung-fu movies!"

The Dibship opened a large monitor, starting a movie call "Dragon Sushi Warrior: Enter the Shiitake Garden-Happy GO Banzai! -1". Instantly, the Heboadians became mesmerized by the movie, watching the bloody and physics-defying action. The Dibship sighed in relief.

Meanwhile, Tel and Skoodge wasted the hours in the main room of the Dibship. Tel was reading through a holofile containing data logs on Irken Warfare given to him by Zim while Skoodge was waiting by the monitor.

"You've been standing there for hours already, just what are you waiting for?" Tel asked.

"Zim said he'd call me if anything came up, as a dutiful soldier I must be on alert for when that moment happens, Hoo-ha!" Skoodge said.

"You're quite...devoted to his orders."

"It is my sworn duty to obey the commands of the Almighty Tallest."

"So you obey him...because he's tall?"

"And ALMIGHTY!"

"Are all Irkens really like this?"

"Irkens are a dutiful race of warriors with the sole purpose of galactic conquest or sustaining the planets conquered. The position of Tallest is a sacred tradition given to the tallest one of us. To disobey is to go against the Irken race and all that it stands for! Hoo-ha!"

"You mean kind of like how we're going against the Irken race right now?"

"Zim is rightfully the tallest, therefore it is everyone else who is going against the Irken race."

"So every Irken, except for you two, is wrong?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"...Hoo-ha!"

"Don't you think something is a little flaw-"

"**INCOMING TRANSMISSION FROM: SUPREME ALMIGHTY TALLEST, ZIM!**" The Dibship announced, alerting Skoodge and bringing up a monitor with Zim's image on it.

"Ah, Skoodge, did the transmission alert system work, I added it myself," Zim said.

"It was genius, sir," Skoodge answered.

"Yes, yes, I AM a genius."

"A pretty stupid genius if you ask me," Gaz said in the background.

"I have reached the last bits of my neural fibers with you! Anyway, Skoodge, I have devised a plan..."

* * *

Nightfall befell the rebel base, layering the surface with its black blanket, not that one can tell in the underground rebel base. The rebels had retired to their quarters, basically holes they had to dig out. It would take days to make these cave-rooms, and since Zim's party didn't have the time to make these caves they had to sleep in someone's room, someone of Zim's choice.

"Why? Why me?" Daj screamed at a smiling Zim. The group had the privilege of sleeping in Daj & Ere's room for the night, which fortunately was also the biggest room. Rags and cushions were provided to them by Spoocti and Mooshy.

"Does my presence disturb you, lizard-stink? Maybe you should slay me right here if I am such a bother to you. Here's you Giant Fraction Blaster," Zim placed the giant blaster in Daj's hand and the barrel aimed at his face, "I am quite well aware of the capabilities of this weapon. The Giant Fraction Blaster, or GFB, a blaster gaining its name for both its massive size and ability to blow a victim into fractions of the said victim. Oh I can see the image of my head being blown to bits by such a weapon. However, one of my favorite features has to be the easily squeezable trigger. The motion is so smooth and clean, all the wielder has to due to cause instant death is to squeeze...squeeze...squeeze...squeeze..."

Daj very much wanted to shut Zim up for good, ever since becoming a mercenary he had never let a kill go, especially Irkens, and one was looking at him through the barrel of his gun, tempting his bloodlust. Yet he couldn't kill the key component to tomorrow's mission and was ordered by Dwicky to not harm Zim, and Daj knew Zim was taken full advantage of his temporary immortality. Zim's tempting, however, was making him willing to jeopardize tomorrow's mission, all he had to do was squeeze the smooth, light, gentle trigger. He would've pulled it too if Kry didn't catch on and take the gun away from Daj.

Meanwhile, Kor and Gaz were relaxing on the side of the wall, watching Zim's psychological torture of Daj. Gaz was playing on her Gameslave that Zim made for her, while Kor was bored and knew sleeping wouldn't be possible with Zim still awake.

"So, what do you think of tomorrow's plans?" Kor asked.

"We'll go in, things start happening like they should, then, through Zim's lack of foresight things go horribly wrong and there's a 50/50 chance of things working out. That's how Zim's plans always go," Gaz said.

"You sound ___so _enthusiastic about tomorrow."

"Whatever."

"You know, you don't seem like the type to go on an intergalactic adventure, so why are you here? Well, other than because of Zim, of course."

"What's that suppose to mean? And I'm only here because Zim used a giant vacuum to suck my stuff into the Dibship so I followed him into it. The only reason I'm not forcing Zim to take me back anymore is because something that was mine was taken from me, and I want to make the theft pay."

"What was taken?"

"It's a list where I recount my daily events so that I can seek vengeance on those who wronged me each day."

"...so it's a dia-"

"It's NOT a diary! It's a Vendetta List."

"Right, I'm sure there's a ___huge _difference."

"You know what, Kor? Why don't you-" Kor put her hand up towards Gaz's face.

"Wait, I'm sensing something," Kor paused and turned her head, searching the room, "It feels like...angst."

"You can sense angst?"

"As a goth, I can sense self-depreciating angst, it's what alerted me of the Dibship when it first tried to crawl up my hill. I thought I would finally enjoy a night without this feeling, being away from the Dibship and all, but I'm sensing it again." Kor got up and moved around the room, getting closer to the door, whoever was angsting was behind it. She opened it and found Dib sitting in an empty hallway, "You!"

"Huh! What?" Dib woke up from being deep in thought.

"You're angsting again aren't you?"

"What?" Dib yelled, "I am not!"

"Don't lie to me, I can sense your angst."

"You can sense angst?"

"Yes, and it's very unpleasant...so...you're...angsting...and...you have a problem!" Kor closed the door and turned around to find Gaz next to her.

"'You have a problem?'" Gaz said, "That's what you tell an angsting teenager?"

"I come from a planet where the only emotions are joy, laughter, and crazy, I don't know how to deal with angst."

On the other side of the door, Dib sat quietly deep in thought, reflecting on how his adventure off earth had gone so far.

___First, I was Zim's pack mule on Fuelia Portia, but that doesn't really count as a planetary adventure. I couldn't hit a worm on Fefa, but I have other uses. I was made a demigod on the last planet, of course I crashed the ship, and it turned out I was actually a tool in a crazy cult sacrifice, but I have uses. Like that one time when...I...uh...wow, I suck. Wait, did I just think that? No, No, NO! That wasn't angst, that can't be!_

___No, Dib, pull yourself together, you are part of a group that is set on taking down the greatest empire in the universe, then you'll take pictures of the event and rub it in the faces of everyone at skool! Of course, you're also the weakest link and the butt monkey of a group with a real monkey on it. There was it again! That self-depreciating comment about myself. Was Kor really right about me angsting? Oh man, what if I become like the Dibship, I don't want to write haiku! Think positive about yourself Dib, you're intelligent, steadfast, a loser, dammit! I hate you brain! Wait, my brain is a part of myself, thus I just said I hated myself. Oh no, I am angsting! Curse you teenage hormones!_

"Dib! Shut up already!" Gaz yelled from the other side on the door.

"No! Don't stop! I was enjoying your torturous, self-loathing, Dib-stink!" Zim yelled in response.

"Go back to psychologically torturing scale-head over there, Zim."

Dib became silent, embarrassed by the revelation that he said his monologue out loud. His emotions turned to fear when another revelation crept into his mind, he was angsting about angsting. He felt doomed.

"Hey there, fellow hero," Ere was walking back to the room when he saw the saddened Dib.

"Hey, Ere," Dib responded.

"Going through an emotional self-crisis? I heard all heroes get them eventually."

"No, just angst apparently, to my disgust."

"Angst? That's the most iconic self-crisis! So don't worry, you'll overcome it and find your purpose, just as all heroes do."

"But I'm not a hero! I'm always mocked by everyone and most of the time, Zim causes his own failures!"

"But did you give up?"

"No, I was too stupid to."

"And that spirit is what makes you a hero!" Dib was silent, thinking that Ere was an idealist bordering on foolishness. "You remind me of me when I was younger."

"God, I hope not," Dib said to the delusional Darvon. Ere didn't like the sight of a young being moping around just as he did on Fuelia Portia, so he decided to help him.

"Sure you do, you just need a mentor to give you a push. So I've decided, I'll go with you on your journey to conquer the Irkens after we finish up here."

Dib was surprised, though their missions was just as delusional as Ere was. He was reluctant to accept Ere as a mentor, but he figured it wouldn't be so bad and they could always use more people.

"Great, now how about I teach you how to shoot properly, sidekick!"

"Don't call me that."

Ere opened the door to speak with Daj. "Daj! We're going to destroy the Irken empire with these guys!"

"Really?" Daj said with glee, thinking about the drone slaughter he would be causing.

"Yeah!"

"Wait, what?" Zim said. "Who gave you permission to join my armada?"

"Dib said it was fine."

"We could always use more bodies, Zim," Dib pointed out.

"I don't care," Gaz said.

"At the very least that blaster will be useful," Kor said.

"I'm against this!" Zim yelled, knowing Daj would seek vengeance on him for tonight, "Gir, back me up!"

"This doggie's tongue is so sticky!" Gir shouted while playing with Kry, Kry then opened Gir's head and slurped out a bunch of noodles, "Aww, you ate my brains."

"Looks like you're overruled, drone, we're going to have a great short journey together," Daj said, "alone, in space, where I will hear your screams."

"Noooooooooooooo-" Ere closed the door while Zim was screaming, taking Dib to the target room to learn how to aim.

* * *

The Massive had returned to Irk. Red and Purple were panicking, they were losing colonized planets quickly, never had such a crisis this big faced the Irken empire. Without their surveillance planets, they could never identify the ship that was harboring the beings that were destroying their empire. The Tallests were constantly barraged with reports of planets falling, with no clue as to the cause of the destruction.

"My Tallests, planet Myost has fallen, all glove shipments have stopped."

"My Tallests, planet Rhavi has fallen, we lost the ability to make useless trinkets."

"Planet Yugonuj has fallen, there are no more bendy straws!"

"Planet Ipogh has fallen, we have lost cheese making capabilities!"

"Red, this is horrifying! First we have no surveillance systems, then we lost our musical planet, and now we have to suffer through an age of cheese-less nachos!" Purple screamed while holding his dry tortilla chips.

"Which is why we returned to Irk! At least we have our reserves here, that should last us until we sort this out." Red said.

"D-do we still have cheese?"

"Yes, yes we do."

"My Tallests, we have received data images from Ipogh, there's a picture of the Irken killer!" an Irken came running to Red and Purple with pictures in his hand.

"Impossible, all surveillance systems were destroyed,"Purple said.

"Well, me and my friend-uh-stole a surveillance camera-and sort of created...our own...unauthorized network to communicate with each...other through video...but please don't execute me sires! I know it was illegal but I got pictures, and, and, we were good friends, and picture, please don't kill m-"

"Now, now, your friend is dead and most likely mutilated in some horrible fashion," Red said. The Irken started crying.

"Here, have a sandwich," Purple pulled out the sandwich and exchanged it with the picture, "Better?" The Irken nodded his head, "Good. Guards! Execute this Irken for stealing one of our several billion camera thingies!"

Two soldier Irkens dragged the Irken away as he screamed for mercy.

"Enjoy your last cheese sandwich!" Purple turned to whisper to Red. "That sandwich doesn't actually have cheese."

"Nice," Red then took a look at the pictures, they were blurry but he could make out the dismembered Irken limbs. He tried to look for any non-Irken life-form in the picture, but there were only Irkens, shocking Red.

"What's wrong?" Purple asked.

"There are only Irkens in these pictures."

"So the Irken killer isn't even there? That drone of an Irken lied to us? I'll make sure to call the guards to make sure his execution is slow and painful."

"The Irken killer is in the pictures." Red handed Purple one of the pictures and it was clear what caused this massacre. Though the head and parts of the body were obscured by blur or debris, it was a clear shot of a being with a PAK, and a blade-like weapon piercing another Irken's body.

"No, this can't be an Irken!"

"It makes sense, how our ship scans didn't detect any non-Irken ship, how they know to attack our surveillance planets first or even the locations of our surveillance planets."

"But Irkens can't go rogue! We're controlled by the Control Brains, no one knows how to override its command sequences in our PAKs, not even us!"

"Which is why we're gonna have to visit the Control Brains." Red walked off.

"Wait, Red, the Control Brains scare me!"

* * *

In the target room, a laser hit a cylindrical object on a pedestal, causing it to fall. Behind it were several scorch marks scattered in random fashion.

"I finally hit it!" Dib said.

"Great! Now we just have to work on making you hit the target several times!" Ere replied. Dib aimed the rifle and continued firing shots down range.

"You know, I'm honestly not learning anything by being with you now but at least this is keeping my mind busy."

"If you just avert your mind, you can overcome any pain."

"I highly doubt that."

"Dib, when I was younger, I too was cursing my luck. I lost my home, my dreams, and had to deal with someone in my life who just seemed to make things worse. Then I found my purpose through that same person, and things just flowed naturally and now I'm no longer moping about my life."

"So..."

"Your crisis will be over, either by your doing, someone else's, or time, and you'll come out stronger."

"You know, for someone who's deluded, that was actually pretty wise."

"Yes, well-wait, delu-" A large quake had shaken the rebel base. Ere and Dib left the room and saw light from Oberox's three moons. They ran towards the moonlight. They found Zim and the others already there along with the Dibship, crashed through the ceiling. The cockpit opened to reveal Skoodge and Tel.

"Sir! We have made the items requested for tomorrow's raid!" Skoodge said ecstatically to his commander.

"Skoodge? Were you flying the ship? Shouldn't the monkey have flown it instead of you?!" Zim said.

"Monkey? Oh, it, uh," Skoodge looked around for a moment, "It appears he has escaped, Sir!"

"Well, at least you followed my orders. With those items, victory shall be mine, and Togan will know to fear me! Zim! Everyone, sleep, for tomorrow, as long as the tall-earthworm keeps his troops motivated, we'll attack with waves of unfaltering troops until the Armory has fallen! Muahahahaha!"

While Zim was laughing, Daj took a closer look at their surrounded, "Hey, isn't this Dwicky's room?"


	21. The Armory of DOOM Fin: Deceit and DOOM

"Beings, today you fight not for yourselves, not for your planet, and not for Irk. Today you fight for your livelihood! We must face this menace that has plagued the galaxy, but if you are to achieve victory, we must unite! Unite for glory, unite for honor, unite for your daily grease consumables! Just follow my orders and stand by me, Sizz-Lor!" The giant Irken was rallying the many customers of Foodcourtia to prepare for the oncoming arrival of the unknown beings that had attacked the other side of the planet, working their way to Foodcourtia's busiest sector.

"Um, excuse me!" One of the other beings spoke up, "Why exactly do we have to fight for you? All we did was eat food here."

Sizz-Lor whacked the being with his giant spatula, "Any other questions?" No one spoke up.

A shadow blanketed Sizz-Lor and his makeshift army. He looked up to see a large dumpster-shaped ship. "Customers! Remember that this is a ruthless armada that has wiped out several Irken colonies! They will stop at nothing to kill you! If we are to die today, then die knowing you fought!"

"Attention citizens of Foodcourtia!" yelled a squeaky voice from the ship. "We are only here to kill the Irkens, the rest of you, if you wish to live, please stand behind the line I'm about to make." A laser appeared from under the ship and fired vertically into the crowd, frying several beings.

"Tak!"

"I have no regrets!" yelled a female voice. The laser was re-aimed and fired a beam horizontally, immediately all the non-Irken beings ran behind it, leaving only Sizz-Lor and a few Irken employees, who started running away.

"So be it! I'll destroy you myself!" Sizz-Lor yelled. Soon, several strange beings dropped from the ship, each armed with blasters. Sizz-Lor had never seen anything so terrifying.

* * *

Silence filled the air in the Irken armory. The majority of the Irken forces positioned themselves around the gaping hole in their fortress. So far, there was no sight of the rebel forces according to the Irken watchmen, nothing but dirt for miles. The Irkens started thinking they wouldn't attack while there was a hole in their defense, possibly they figured out they were waiting for them on the other side, just maybe, these rebels weren't as stupid as they had believed. The Irkens didn't know how right they were. Of course, it was all according to Zim's plan.

"Attaaaaaaack!" The signal was heard and the ground beneath the Irkens shook. The rebel forces sprouted out of the ground like zombies using drill-like objects. The Irkens couldn't believe it was possible, for the rebel forces to break through their fortress so easily with their level of technology. Spoocti and Mooshy had determined the exact spots where to tunnel thanks to the plans of the Armory they retrieved, now they were leading the rebels in a surprise attack. Soon, more rebels popped out and immediately the Irkens started firing. Several colorful lasers flew around the room, hitting Irkens and rebels alike, however, the Irkens still had the advantage of position.

"Drop!" Suddenly, Tel and the ZMDA dropped from the ceiling like vicious koalas. During the crossfire, they had sneaked in behind the rebels and climbed to the ceiling using their cybernetic and monkey-like agility. They fought the Irkens in close combat, burning them alive, whacking them with metal arms, while Tel pierced dull sticks through their bodies, the Irkens would stare at the stick in confusion before falling over and dying. The Heboadians also had a trick up their sleeve, they had learned all the techniques from the videos the Dibship showed them, making them extremely proficient and deadly up close. There were cyber-monkeys spinning several times while kicking, doing several unnecessary flips through the air, and freeze-framing and attacking in slow-motion. It made Tel wish he didn't leave during the movie.

* * *

Zim decided to let me fly the Dibship again, actually, he made me fly the Dibship. Since the monkey disappeared Zim said I was the only one who could do the job. Fortunately I didn't do as horribly as the last time I flew it, but that didn't mean I did well either.

"AAHHHHHHHHHHH!" We all screamed collectively as I lost control of the Dibship. It was spiraling towards the Irken Armory, we all held onto something for dear life. The armory grew bigger and bigger, impact was imminent, why did Zim put me here ag-

The Dibship created a large hole in the wall of the Armory. Everyone survived the crash somehow, I honestly don't know how we keep living but I'm not going to complain. Everyone staggered out slowly, still dazed. Our group consisted of me, Kor, Zim, Dwicky, Daj, Kry, Ere and an insignificant rebel. Zim said Gaz and Skoodge were back at the rebel base, relaying info back to Zim about their whereabouts in the Armory. Gir was absent too, Zim didn't mention his whereabouts, but I think the mission would turn out better this way.

"Congratulations, Dib-stink, I knew that your somewhat minor experience with piloting combined with your unfathomable stupidity would be enough to aim and crash the ship in the exact spot where the wall isn't reinforced," Zim said. I would've responded to him, but I puked before I could say anything.

"Why isn't this part of the wall reinforced anyway?" Daj asked.

"This section is known as the backdoor, Irken records show that this is where Irkens locked out of the armory go to get in after scaling the building. Then their PAK would gain them access through the wall."

"Then why...WHY did you have to crash me, again!" The Dibship yelled in agony.

"It's more convenient for me this way."

"BUT WHY CRASH? I'm certain I have missiles or lasers SOMEWHERE on me!"

"Silence! You're nonsensical bickering annoys me. Come my army, we have an armory to destroy." Zim then handed me a backpack to carry around, it was pretty heavy and I was curious to see what was inside, but he told me not to open it.

"Wait, Zim, I just realized," I said, "Wouldn't that crash attract their attention even with the battle going on down below?"

Zim smiled and only said one word, "Good."

* * *

The crash was indeed seen by the Irkens stationed on the roof of the Armory, who were guarding the sealed weapon transmit exit where weapons where sent through, they quickly rushed to the floor where the intruders had crashed, though they believed that there was no way they'd get through the chambers on that floor alive, and they knew Togan would massacre them if even a scrap of them made it. For once, they were glad to have the Death Floor in the Armory.

All but one of them had filed themselves down the Armory, the roof was left silent, only guarded by the single Irken. It overlooked the quiet, desolate wasteland surrounding the Armory. The bottom floor of the Armory contained the rebel and Irken battle, where most of the Irkens had concentrated its forces, the middle was where Zim's group had planed to infiltrate, where the remainder of the Irken's focus was given to, then there was the rooftop where a lone Irken stood guard.

He looked over the edge to catch a glimpse of the purple, Irken-like ship that had crashed. He then made the mistake of looking behind him for a second due to a faint sense of paranoia. A hand shot up and muffled his mouth, he felt a burning sensation in his chest, he saw the scorch marks that was on his uniform. Then he felt an emptiness where his chest should be, before falling over the edge. He last memory was of a cloaked figure with a blaster in his hand standing atop a rooftop, an image that grew smaller and smaller. He was dead before he hit the ground.

* * *

"Um, Zim?" Zim was standing still for about five minutes now, like time had stopped for him or something. I walked up to him to give him a nudge when someone grabbed my hand.

"What, Dib-worm?" Zim had woken from his trance-like state and had stopped my hand.

"You alright, you were kind of...not moving for a while."

"I was just contemplating about...my glorious...plans...of DOOM, yes, that's what I was doing," I found it useless to press him on this issue. We continued walking down the hallway, it was unusually quiet for our group, especially Dwicky. He was walking quite well after the Dibship had crushed his fake leg when it crashed into his room in the base, apparently the makeshift replica was working fine.

I ended up ahead of everyone, we saw a gate of some sort, blocking our way. Suddenly, as I took a step forward, my foot had sunk into the floor, and I was about to go with it but I was caught by someone. I turned around to see Zim, he had grabbed me at the last second. He pulled out a blaster-like device from the backpack and aimed at the ground. A light emitted from the device and the floor faded away, revealing it was nothing but a hologram. The bottom of the chasm was filled with giant spikes.

"Welcome to the first chamber of the Irken Death Floor," Zim said.

"Wait, Death Floor? We're going through a place called a Death Floor?" I asked.

"Yes, Dib-stink, if you recall a few years ago when I trapped you in that room, I had based its design on this particular chamber."

"That room had flaming tops, laser pendulums, and piggie mafia, I still have bacon burns from that. How are ANY of those derived from a spike pit?"

"Yes."

"That isn't an answer to my question!"

"That's not the issue now," Ere said, "Now Zim, how are we to get through the gate to the next chamber."

"You see, what makes the Irken Death Floor so unique to other Death Floors..."

_There are other Death Floors?_ I thought to myself.

"...is that in order to open the gate, the trap must be activated, or one find the hidden switch. For this room, the switch would be somewhere across the chasm."

"I see, so if one of us can make it across the chasm, we can avoid one of us dying," Ere said.

"Squish-blob, your assistance is required."

"Please don't call me that," Kor replied. She walked towards the edge of the chasm to get a decent look at the spikes. Zim reached in the backpack again and pulled out a rope and gave it to me to hold. I had no idea how it could help us in this situation, there was nothing to tie it to.

"Hmm, I think if I can get some extra energy, say from a blaster or something, I could charge my boots enough so I could jump across. I'll find the switch and use that rope to get you guys across," Kor said. That must be what the rope is for, but it seems a bit mundane for Zim.

"Yes, yes," Zim said in an uncaring tone. Suddenly Zim pushed Kor over the edge and we heard a sharp cry of agony. The gate opened and a bridge jetted from the other side to ours, providing a path across.

"You heartless fiend!" Ere said, "How dare you kill one of our comrades!"

"And what are you to do about it, deluded lizard-stink, vaporize me and jeopardize the entire point of this mission? Besides, she's a Fefian, her species' anatomy will allow her to live." I can see why Zim wanted Kor to get closer, but what was this rope for?

"Dib-worm, fish the Tinkerer our of the chasm." Oh.

As everyone made their way across I lowered the rope to for a very angry Kor to grab. As she climbed, the fluid from her body leaked through the holes the spikes created. Slowly, she regenerated her skin while screaming obscenities at Zim. Zim did nothing to acknowledge the insults.

* * *

"Um, my Tallests, are you sure I should be the one to speak with the Main Control Brain?" A very puzzled Irken asked. Red and Purple had randomly grabbed an Irken during their walk to the control brain. The room they were standing in had two doors, one marked "Database" and the other marked "Main Control Brain".

"Yes, of course! We have been watching you and we think you're worthy of being our control brain messenger," Purple replied.

"Really? Wow! It would be an honor!"

"Now go into the chamber and ask the biggest control brain to open the Database door for us," Red said.

"Thank you so much for this, my Tallests!" The Irken opened the door to the Main Control Brain and walked joyfully into the dark chamber.

"Good thing we found this sucker, talking to regular control brains is one thing, but the Main Control Brain is just scary," Purple said.

"And you thought we were actually going to see the control brain ourselves, we just need to check the database," Red said, "Since the brains keep track of all Irken activities we'll be able to identify which Irken is attacking all these planets and track that Irken."

"But wait, doesn't that mean we have to look through every Irken's files to find which one it is? That'll take forever!"

"Unfortunately, yes, but fortunately, I brought snacks!"

"Alright!" The door marked "Database" opened.

"Awesome, the little Irken came through."

"Time to eat some snacks!" the Tallests walked into the chamber.

"Um, my Tallests," cried the Irken behind the Main Control Brain door, the Tallests just ignored his calls. "My Tallests, I-I'd like to come out now. PLEASE! It's d-dark in here a-and s-s-scary. PLEASE LET ME OUT!"

* * *

We went through several rooms since the pit, all of which Kor would get shoved by Zim in order to activate the trap, except for one instance where Kor dodged and Zim pushed a rebel into a trap, he was too insignificant for anyone to care. Kor had been sliced, lasered, dehydrated, and ripped apart, she commented on how it was as if she was on Fefa again.

"You alright, Kor?" I asked.

"I've been sliced, lasered, dehydrated, and ripped apart...honestly I think I'm building a pain tolerance," Kor replied.

"Hey, have you noticed something strange about Zim, personality-wise?"

"I don't know, I've only known the sadistic freak for a couple of months now, is there something strange?"

"Well, it seems like he's a bit more caring about lives lately."

"Excuse me?" Kor pointed to her attire, which was shredded and tattered from the death traps she just went through.

"Well, at least with life for beings that die easily, he's saved mine on two occasions, I'm sure I saw him save Gaz's once, and I'm not buying the meat shield excuse he keeps using."

"So he has a Cylo Kallux, so what?"

"A what?"

"Oh right, that's Fefian anatomy."

"Point is, before he wouldn't care what happens to my life. He's tried to erase me from existence using stuffed pigs, wanted to turn me inside out, and even tried to send me through a wormhole where I would be stuck with a moose!"

"Wow, I didn't know Zim was so...creative."

"There is no way Zim could see me as useful anymore, with the lack of combat ability and how I was captured, and how I keep crashing the Dibship. My uselessness knows no bounds! I even forgot why I even came along, I should just jump into the next tr-" Kor slapped me.

"Dib, do not even think about becoming a self-depreciating mess again! I can't handle the headaches. Anyway, so what if Zim is saving your skin, isn't that a good thing?"

"Yeah but-"

"Beings change, Dib, and I guess somewhere along the way, that Irken found a way to change too."

"I agree!" Yelled a voice behind them. Kor and I were startled and turned to find Ere.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Eavesdropping! Sidekick-"

"I'm not your sidekick."

"-even the darkest of villains can follow the path of righteousness and begin a new life of honor and justice!" You could feed a county fair with that much corn.

"Alright, but why exactly did Zim change then?"

"Well obviously, he discovered the power of truth, justice, and love!" Both me and Kor were stunned by his ridiculous and stupid response.

"Is he actually degenerating even further?" I whispered to Kor.

"Maybe it's best we tell him the truth, before he gets worse," she said, "Ere, about your 'heroic' lif-" A limbless hand covered Kor's mouth.

"Hey, guys what are you talking about?" It was Daj, apparently he wanted to keep Ere deluded. Kor ripped his hand from her mouth.

"Daj, I know what you're doing and why, but Ere's starting to reach insane levels, and our group has enough insanity as it is."

"I see. Oh look, villainy!" Daj pointed away and unsurprisingly, Ere looked. During the brief moment, Daj grabbed and threw Kor behind him, sending her flying towards Dwicky. He sidestepped quickly, quite the agility for a man with one real leg___, _and Kor hit a wall spike in from of Zim.

"Ah, Tinkerer! I was just about to ask for your assistance," Zim said. The gate to the next death chamber opened.

"Just...get me...down...from here," Kor said in pain.

"Hmm, looks like there wasn't any villainy over there, Ere, my bad," Daj said.

"You were only being cautious, brother," Ere said.

"Yep, hey, how about you walk in front, I want to talk to your sidekick." Ere walked in front of us and then Daj turned to me.

"Look, I know you've been hanging out with Ere recently, and most likely that won't stop, but you can't tell Ere the truth about me and him actually being mercenaries and not heroes."

"Isn't this rapid deterioration in mental stability really bad for him though?" I asked.

"And crushing the illusion of his heroic life will make him better?" Daj sighed in despair, "I'm not blind, I've seen the signs of Ere's mentality worsening over the years. Whether it's from my lies or when he got hit in the head on our home planet, I'll never know, but what I can do is make sure he goes on living his life happily. Even if he becomes an insane being with a knack for killing, he'll at least be a happy insane being."

I could understand where Daj was coming from, being Ere's brother, he took it upon himself to take care of him. Similar to how I used to take care of my Gaz even though she hated me most of the time. I swore to Daj that I wouldn't tell Ere the truth.

* * *

Two Irken soldiers made their way to the roof of the Armory to trade shifts with the lone Irken already stationed there, Salus. For once the two were glad to have guard duty under Oberox's sun, the battle on the lower floors claimed many Irken lives, and knowing they weren't competent fighters, the two wouldn't have lasted long.

The elevator reached the top of the roof, when the door slid open one of them caught a glimpse of something. Naturally he armed his weapon.

"What are you doing?" the other Irken asked.

"I thought I saw something." He said.

"Could just be Salus. Saaaluuusss!" She called out as they walked out of the elevator, one of them still with their weapon held. "I guess he already left."

"If Salus wasn't here, then what did I see?"

"Calm down, it could've just been a...a something."

"A something that could hurt us!" The Irken started twitching in fear.

"Woah, relax, no wonder they call you Para, the paranoidian in the snack room."

"You know how much I hate that name, Bliva!"

"Well stop being so paranoid and I'll stop calling you that." Bliva stood at the edge of the roof, overlooking the landscape. She noticed that Para had stopped talking and the sound of twitching had stopped for a while. "See, Para, when you relax, you'll see that your paranoia will simply disappear."

During this time she didn't bother turning around, she just assumed that Para had assumed his post like a good Irken soldier. If she had turned she would've seen that the silence was not from the absence of twitching, but from the absence of Para. She was still talking as if her partner was still there.

"There was absolutely nothing to be worried about, Para. Yep, absolutely nothing!"

Then she felt the cold metal of a blaster barrel on the back of her head.

* * *

After we entered the next death chamber, Zim stood still, once again in a trance-like state. We decided to use this time as a rest stop, I really needed one after lugging around this backpack. Seriously, what the hell is in here? Every time I tried to open it, Zim stopped me. I walked over to Dwicky, we haven't talked since his robot leg was crushed, but he remained unusually silent. I wanted to ask more about his life in space but I think I got too persistent, he punched me to make me go away. Armored fists hurt.

"Minions!" Zim had broken from his frozen state when I wasn't looking, "This is the final death chamber, The Labyrinth of DOOM!"

"Uh, did you just say labyrinth?" Daj asked.

"Of course I did, hideous scale worm." We scanned the room and Daj said what we were all thinking.

"But this room is empty."

"Oh is it?" As if on cue, the floor began shaking, walls began rising from the ground, creating passages. One of the walls rose right under Zim, causing him to stand above us. "Welcome to the Irken labyrinth, filled with several deathtraps and laser aimed towards causing the most pain to all who enter. This final chamber is unique, the gate to the exit will only open if we activate the switch at the end of the labyrinth or we all die. Such is the genius of Irken intellect."

"What's the point of opening the gate if we all die?"

"Because the requirement would have been fulfilled. Now, I will not direct you in how you escape this maze, but don't think simple navigation will let you succeed. There are no rules on how you escape and I'll need most of you to succeed in the plan later. Drag your corpse if you must." With that, Zim ran off, running along the top of walls, obviously not how the builder of the labyrinth intended one to navigate it.

"These walls don't seem to be that tall, apparently whoever built this didn't expect for beings as tall as us to go through it," Kor said.

"You're right, I'd say these walls are about seven feet tall," I said.

"They don't look too strong too," Daj said, he pulled out his G.F.B. And started charging it, "Time to blast our way through."

"No!" Ere interfered and stopped Daj from firing, "We must follow the rules of this labyrinth!"

"Rules? There aren't any!"

"That doesn't matter! We're heroes, we'll never cheat!"

"...You really are getting worse."

"Worse at what?"

"Nevermind, we'll do this your way, but if we're doing this your way we're gonna do it the way I want to."

"Excuse me?"

"Kry," Daj motioned for their beast-minded companion to come closer. He then mounted him and acted like he was riding a horse, Kry was not amused. "Come on, Kry, it'll be faster this way."

Kry calmed down and Ere joined Daj on Kry's back. "Now we just need to something to tie us to Kry."

"Don't worry brother, I have this, the Hero's Harness!" It was a vest with two ropes on the back to tie to their bodies.

"You carry that thing around?"

"A hero has to always be prepared."

"...Whatever. I guess I'll see you guys on the other side." Daj made a motion for Kry to sprint off, quickly navigating their way through the maze.

"That leaves you, me, and Dwicky," I said. I turned around to see Dwicky had followed Zim's lead and was running on top of the labyrinth. "That is one good fake spare leg."

Knowing that I couldn't break through the walls, or have the sanity to think about navigating it, I decided to run the top of the labyrinth as well. If I was given anything from all those years of chasing Zim, it was agility. I asked Kor to hold the backpack as I jumped up, she returned it to me once I found my footing. "You coming?"

She shook her head, "Running the top requires too much balance and agility for me, I'm gonna break through the walls in one straight path."

"Really, how?"

She pushed some buttons on her gauntlets and boots, they lit up and she smashed the wall next to her.

"Oh, right, I forgot about those." I ran off and Kor was breaking down wall after wall. The backpack I was carrying was heavy, but I was still able to keep my speed and balance. Dwicky was way ahead of me, and much faster than me even if I wasn't carrying the backpack. I guess being a rebel leader can give you some useful skills. I spotted Daj, Kry, and Ere running the labyrinth like white lab mice being experimented on, they were able to jump over all the pitfalls that they activated, but kept getting stopped by dead ends. So far it seemed like running the top was the safest way, and then I was knocked down by Zim.

As I fell backwards a red laser swept across right above me, barely missing my nose.

"And here I thought you were somewhat smarter than the rest of your species, did you not listen when I said there would be traps?" He said as we hanged from the wall.

"Not that I don't appreciate saving me, again, but weren't you really far ahead?" I asked.

"Does that matter? You shouldn't take this labyrinth lightly, the traps only get harder." He ran off, jumping from wall to wall, and I followed. "I see you can still keep up with me, Dib-worm."

"Do you really think that after all these years I'd let you escape so easily?"

"Then place your monetary gains where your food digests, worm!"

"What?" As I spoke I barely dodged a laser that took off a few pieces of my hair. Suddenly me and Zim were jumping and ducking lasers, sidestepping to the wall beside us, and sprinting as fast as we can.

Dwicky came into view, he was also dodging lasers left and right. It was quite amazing to see him with that much agility during the brief glimpses that I saw when I wasn't dodging my own lasers.

I wanted the lasers to end, I started to feel the toll of carrying a heavy backpack. By the time I saw the next set of traps, however, I wanted the lasers back.

* * *

"Hey Mooshy, look at all this loot!" Spoocti was carrying various weapons raided from a storeroom.

The battle between the ZMDA and Rebels versus the Irkens was favoring their side. Their advantage was attributed to the Irkens' shock of using Irken tech, which Zim had given the rebels. Nonetheless, it gave the rebels enough time to start raiding the storerooms where the weapons are, giving the rebels even more of an advantage.

"Wow, is that a Hydraulic Nega-Ion Cannon?" Mooshy asked.

"Yes it is!"

"Man we should've raided the armory earlier! Do you know how much we can get for this stuff?"

"Enough to build a home out of currency!"

"Haha, that's ridiculous, but awesome, Spoocti!"

"And crazy!" As they were running back to give the rebels weapons, they were stopped by a medium sized Irken, one they were familiar with.

"Going somewhere?" The Irken face that was half metal was a dead giveaway as to who it was. Togan made Spoocti and Mooshy speechless and frozen. "I know this whole deal isn't your plan, nor your leader's. You had help from some being."

Not knowing what to do, Spoocti and Mooshy relied on instinct and quickly aimed their blasters. Togan was too quick, he used his psychic powers to slam Spoocti and Mooshy against the wall, knocking Mooshy unconscious.

"How foolish, but what can I expect from such inferior species," Togan walked slowly towards Spoocti. "I don't know what you rebels are planning, but I intend to find out."

Togan's implants started glowing, within seconds he was in Spoocti's mind, reading his memories...

* * *

"What happened!" Spoocti yelled out as he and Mooshy opened the door. They had heard a large crash in Dwicky's room and hoped nothing to bad happened. They saw a large ship in the middle of Dwicky's room, surrounded by Zim, Gaz, Dib, Kor, Skoodge, Gir, Tel, Daj, Kry, and Ere.

"Where's Dwicky?" Mooshy yelled.

"There's a very good chance he's underneath this rubble," Gaz said.

"Oh man, quick, you all go gather all the medics in the base!"

"Woah, all of them?" Daj said, "We don't even know all of them!"

"Just find as many people with medical credentials, we need Dwicky for tomorrow!" With that, everyone filed out of the room, except for Zim,Gaz, Spoocti, and Mooshy who stayed to dig out Dwicky. They tunneled through the debris until they saw the twitch of a human hand. They moved more rubble until the top half of Dwicky was visible.

"Dwicky, Dwicky! Wake up, man!" Spoocti yelled, He slapped Dwicky until he woke up.

"Ow, please don't do that Spoocti, I'm feeling enough pain as it is," He said.

"Listen, tall-worm, are you fit for combat tomorrow or not?" Zim asked.

"Don't worry about it! I think the only thing that got crushed was my fake leg!" A few seconds later, blood started seeping out from his left.

"Well that's not a good sign," Gaz said.

"Blood, I see. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT WAS MY REAL LEG! AHHHHHH!"

"That means he isn't fit for combat, that's quite a problem," Zim said.

"Is Dwicky really that important to tomorrow's plan?" Gaz asked.

"To us directly, no, but his purpose is to build moral for his troops. If they know their leader is giving his life, the sheep beings will follow, thus increasing their chance to win the tomorrow's battle."

"Unfortunately you're right," Mooshy said, "All our rebels used to be slaves with broken moral. If they find out about this, they'll start hesitating and questioning themselves in battle."

"All right, then what do we do?" Gaz asked. Zim started thinking of solutions, then he eyed Dwicky's fallen set of mind-block armor.

"Simple," Zim said, "We'll use a fake."

"I don't know, the rebels would eventually figure out Dwicky wasn't in the suit when they see him fight during the battle." Spoocti said.

"Another simple obstacle solved by a simple solution, the fake would just not fight in front of the rebels."

"But that's just as bad as Dwicky being out of commission!"

"No, just have the real Dwicky give his morale-boosting speech before the battle, then we'll switch the real one with the fake one. I'll bring the fake along with my strike team to destroy the weapon transport systems while you two keep the battle going as a distraction. As long as the rebels think Dwicky is still well and capable, there will be nothing to worry about."

"Then that just leaves one question," Gaz said, "Who's gonna be the fake?"

"Isn't the answer obvious, Gaz? You are."

* * *

"...So you had help, from a tall Irken," Togan had finished reading Spoocti's mind, Spoocti was still frozen in terror from seeing Togan face to face, especially after tearing his arm off last time. "I had a feeling this sort of plan was too superior to your collective species."

Togan started walking away, allowing Spoocti to breathe a sigh of relief, but then Togan stopped walking just a few feet from him.

"I just remembered who exactly you are, I see that you have a new arm. I must say, it brings me joy to meet you again, I hated knowing that an enemy met me, face to metal and got away, alive."

Spoocti saw no escape this time, he thought for sure he would die. Time slowed down for Spoocti, the implants on Togan's head slowly started glowing again, a sign that he was about to use his powers. Spoocti closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable.

Then a loud blast caused him to open his eyes, there were scorch marks on the ceiling and then it started to cave in. Togan quickly avoided the falling debris but was cut off from Spoocti as the rumble blocked the corridor.

Spoocti looked beside him to see that Mooshy had woken up and fired at the ceiling. Thankful, he helped his friend get up.

"Come, Spoocti, lets get back to the rebels, they'll need these weap-...what's that in your mouth?" Mooshy asked. Spoocti was too focused on Togan to even notice that there was something in his mouth. He looked down to figure out what Mooshy was talking about. It was a cyber arm.

Mooshy looked to his left side to see his arm missing, making the owner of the arm Spoocti was chewing on obvious. "Holy galaxies!"

Meanwhile, Togan stood on the other side of the blocked corridor, irked by how the beings on the other side didn't survive not one, but two encounters with him. He wanted to break through the rubble but he knew he had more pressing matters at hand.

"To think that the Irken believes he can trick me by using this battle as the diversion, I guess he must be inferior to most other Irkens. Yet to be of that height, well, it would be an honor to let his blood rust my claw."

* * *

"...And Salus turned around and got attacked by one of prisoners and fell down the stairs!"

"Hahahaha, wow, I can't believe how many times that guy gets attacked from behind."

"I know right, I bet he'll die one day by getting attacked from behind!"

"Haha, that's a safe bet!"

The Irken guards that came from the roof were waiting at the of the labyrinth, supposedly waiting for whoever comes through. However, they knew no one has ever came through alive, so it was mostly an excuse to get out of guard duty.

"What on IRK are you guards doing?" The voice surprised them and gave them fear, for good reason. Togan was in the surveillance room, watching the rooms of the death chambers and saw the guards just standing around.

"T-Togan, sir, w-we were just guarding the exit to stop anyone who survives the chambers."

"Well there ARE beings in there that ARE surviving!"

"Really?"

"Go in there and kill them, before I have to skin you all to make pie crusts!"

"But sir, wouldn't it be better if we wait and ambush them when they come out?"

"...You're gonna become pie crust even if you live. I want them dead NOW!"

The Irken guards started muttering to themselves.

"I don't want to become pie crust."

"Yeah but Togan said those beings are LIVING through the death chambers, they must be some hardcore rebels."

"Not to mention even if we can kill them, the labyrinth's death traps could still get us."

"And those traps don't make you look pretty, remember Goce, he came back looking like cheese puffs."

"I think Togan ate his remains too."

"Alright so it's either Togan's wrath or fighting monstrous rebels in a death maze that can turn us into cheese puffs that Togan will eat."

They unanimously decided to go into the maze.

* * *

Togan had placed cameras in labyrinth to watch poor victims die, unfortunately they were the only cameras online. The surveillance of anything outside the Armory, the lower half of the armory, and all the death rooms before the labyrinth have been offline for a while. Togan assumed the only reason the labyrinth cameras worked was because the camera signals were shorter than the others.

He was able to watch each of the rebels in the group pass through each trap, the Darvons, a green being, a pinkish being, the fake rebel leader, and the Irken. They all had their own screen where Togan watched their actions. He also saw a group of other rebels walking through the maze but he paid no attention to them.

"THIS IS THE 50TH DEAD END WE'VE HIT!" Daj was getting furious, after dodging trap after trap only find no way to advance their path he desperately wanted to blast the wall. He hasn't shot anything with his G.F.B. in a while and it was making him tense.

"Now, Daj, I know you're getting edgy but we can't blow down these walls, as heroes we have to follow the rules," Ere said. Kry was nudging Ere on the shoulder trying to get him to notice something.

"SCREW THE RULES! I haven't even shot at anything since that drone arrived!" Daj pulled out his G.F.B. and started charging it but Ere stopped him and was trying to take the blaster away. Meanwhile, Kry was hissing at both of them.

"Don't follow the path of darkness, Daj!"

"Don't follow the path of stupidity, Ere!"

"HEROISM IS NOT STUPID!"

"IT IS WHEN THE HERO DOESN'T HAVE A BRAIN!"

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"

"MAKE ME-OW!" Kry bit Daj in the leg to finally get his attention. "What Kry?"

Kry pointed his head down, pointing at the floor full of cracks.

"Are those cracks...getting bigger?"

"Oh crap." The floor caved and the trio fell through, into the dark pit.

"Don't worry, I have heroic suction gloves!"

"Where the Vrad are you pulling those out from!"

"Does it matter, I'm saving your life!"

"Fine, but be quick, Kry is biting my leg pretty hard." The trio started making their way underneath the labyrinth.

Meanwhile Kor was making a straight path through the labyrinth littered with debris from broken walls. She kept using the rocks to test for pitfall traps and any other trap activated by weight. However, she knew she was far behind the others. While she used a straight path while the others went through turns, they were still running. At best, Kor could describe her speed as a fast walk.

She tried to think of a way to catch up, but she let her guard down and activated a trap. A humongous pendulum blade was swinging right at her. She moved and it missed most of her, but sliced her arm off. She picked it up and it reattached itself, but that pendulum gave her an idea. She used a rock to activate the floor panel that caused the pendulum to fall, and once again it swung down. However, this time she had climbed the wall next to where it would cut, once it swung by she jumped and grabbed the pole of the blade and held on.

The pendulum blade was swinging back and she was about to get crushed in the ceiling if she didn't move. She spotted spinning sideways saw blades that haven't activated yet and decided to try to jump between them to use as a platform, it was a better option than a certain crushing. She leaped and landed between two saw blades. For once she was glad to have come from a planet that gave the inhabitants a daily dose of death traps, the experience from trying to avoid them was paying off.

She moved her way through blade after blade before spotting a gear in the ceiling. She grabbed the edge and held on as the gear spun upwards, bringing her into the ceiling and allowing her to see the network of gears that controlled the traps.

She stopped to catch her breath and yelled at the traps. "Is that all you can do? I lived on a PLANET full of these-OW!"

A random laser shot out from nowhere and hit her in the stomach. She started running again after the wound healed.

Maybe grabbing that pendulum wasn't the smartest idea.

"Holy crap, did you see the size of that pendulum!" Dib was still running alongside Zim on top of walls.

"Focus, Dib-worm, there are still many traps to avoid," Zim said. He was right, spinning saw blades appeared and started slicing randomly into the labyrinth, trying to cut it like a blender. To make matters worse, the walls started moving and spinning, making it harder for the two to keep balance. Zim and Dib were able to skillfully avoid the blades as they tried to slice into them and kept moving in rapid motion to avoid falling off the walls. However the two had close encounters, Dib fell from the wall and was nearly made into a human smoothie. A saw blade flew horizontally at Zim but he quickly ducked under. Dib thought he saw the blades slice Zim's antennae off since it went right through them, but they were still intact when the blade passed. He thought Zim also moved his head to the side to avoid the blade.

Finally the blades stopped coming, allowing the two to catch their breathe for a bit.

"That..was...really...close," Dib took a deep breath, allowing him to regain some stamina.

"The bag, it's unharmed, right?" Zim asked.

"Yeah, what's in here anyway, it's as heavy as a rock."

"That knowledge is none of your insignificant business."

"Hey wait, I've carrying this thing since the first death chamber, I should kno-"

"Quiet, Dib-worm, do you hear that?" The duo silenced themselves, trying to hear whatever Zim heard. "Buzzing."

"Oh crap, more saws?"

"We should run," Zim and Dib climbed back up the wall and started running again, uncertain of the next danger. The noise started becoming more audible, it was almost like a buzzing noise, but when Zim caught sight of the source, he couldn't believe it, "FLYING GIR HEADS!"

"What is it?"

"FLYING GIR HEADS!" A swarm of body-less SIR units with propellers on top of their head. The Irken Armory was given defective SIR units for storage, but Togan himself decided to recycle them, as death traps.

The SIRs unveiled a blaster attached where the neck would be and started raining lasers down on Zim and Dib. Dib pushed Zim, causing them both to fall off the wall and take cover using it.

"To modify SIR units to make a swarm of flying robot shooters, how crafty of the Irken Empire, of course that is to be expected," Zim started thinking of a way to avoid the flying SIR units.

"Maybe we could try walking through the maze from here, we'll be able to use the walls as cover," Dib said. However, when he tried moving to either side, both floor panels fell, revealing a pit, "Maybe not."

"Dib-monkey, give me the backpack," Zim pulled out two blaster rifles from the bag, giving one to Dib.

"We're gonna try to destroy them?"

"If we must try charging while lasers rain upon us, we should at least try to increase our chances, even if your blaster skills matches the description of your species." The two calmed themselves and Zim counted to three. Zim and Dib climbed the wall and started running.

The SIR heads quickly noticed them and launched a barrage of lasers at Zim and Dib. They returned fire and despite Dib's poor aiming skills, shooting into a swarm was easy, each shot was able to knock down a SIR head. Still, they were only shooting two lasers at once, while the SIRS shot much more.

Their agility allowed them to survive the onslaught, they ducked back down walls by hanging from them to avoid activating pitfall traps, but they couldn't avoid all of them. Dib could feel the laser burns all over his body, fortunately the lasers weren't powerful enough to pierce or kill.

The SIR swarm was dwindling, the number of lasers raining down upon them were less and less, and there were bigger openings between shots for the two to dodge.

"There Dib-worm, the exit to this labyrinth!" Zim pointed to the approaching gate, the two kept firing at the remaining SIR heads, Dib was excited that they would finally get out of this death hole. Then the wall they had jumped on was hit by a laser. It was different from the lasers fired from the SIR heads, they looked at the gate and saw a dozen Irken guards, all with blasters aimed at them.

They quickly ducked behind a wall ahead, as the Irken guards kept blasting their lasers. Slowly they were destroying sections of the labyrinth wall, making their way to Zim and Dib. They knew it would be useless for them to stay there, they were in an increasingly dangerous situation. While initially they had dozens of SIR head firing, they were still defective and the lasers weren't killing. Now alongside the remaining SIRs, they faced trained Irken soldiers with non-defective blasters that were tearing through walls.

"Crap, what are we going to do?" The increasing pressure was getting to Dib. The shrinking wall acted like a timer to his death.

"Turn around and shoot for our lives Dib-worm, even if you die."

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

"We haven't even faced them and you already scream in terror?"

"That wasn't me." They noticed the lasers stopped firing and peeked out, it was Kor. She had fallen from a great height and landed on two Irkens, killing them. The remaining Irken guards aimed at her and fired, leaving gaping holes from lasers.

"OW! Dammit, that hurt!" she said. The guards were shocked that she had lived through the attack. They fired again, this time leaving her falling apart, she still regenerated.

"Stop it!" Kor spoke with the remains of her mouth. Frightened, the guards spammed their triggers, unleashing a mass of lasers until Kor was just a puddle.

"I SAID STOP!" Kor returned to her original form and punched one of the guards. The guards were shaking, fearing this creature that they couldn't do anything to. They started backing up, but then a floating hand sprung out and grabbed one of them on the leg.

"Hey, I think I found something to grab onto!"

"Then pull!" The hand pulled down, slamming the Irken against the floor, causing cracks to appear. The Irken started screaming in pain.

"I can't pull us up!"

"Then pull harder!"

"Do you hear something?"

"No, now pull!" The hand pulled down a second time, this time breaking the floor and bringing the Irken down with him. The Irken's screamed faded out as he fell into the abyss.

"I think I just pulled someone into the abyss."

"Really?"

"The scream sounded Irken."

"Really? You get the first Irken kill between us! Great, the only thing that would make this good is if it was the drone you got."

"It definitely didn't sound like Zim."

"Dammit." Ere leaped out from under the floor using the hole the Irken created, bringing Daj and Kry along with him.

"So that's where the Irken came from."

"Joy." Daj spoke with glee.

The remaining Irken guards were both puzzled and scared, first they were attacked from above, now below. Not only that but they survived the to the end of the labyrinth. The only thought that ran through their heads were how monstrous these beings were. They turned around to try to make it to the exit but they were stopped by a figure clad in full armor.

Zim and Dib now walked forward from behind the wall, blasters in hand. The Irken guards were now surrounded by monstrous beings who were taller than them also. Togan watched from the monitor, angry at the incompetence of the guards. Togan already knew the carnage that would inevitably befall the Irkens, he got up and started walking away.

* * *

"The next room is our goal, the Irken Armory Transmit System. We are only to disable it for now, meaning we must not destroy it," Zim shot a glare at Daj.

"What are you looking at me for? I know how to handle my blaster...mostly," Daj replied.

The group had taken care of the Irken guards, all in their own unique way, the only common thread being they all ended with the death of the guards. They went up to the locked door leading into the room. They all stood there, waiting for the door to open.

"Well, drone," Daj said.

"What?" Zim said.

"Open it."

"And how would I do that, scale scum?"

"Hack into it or something! Did you say you knew how to?"

"Hahaha, foolish, inferior non-Irken being, this door contains a Hexa-Irken Tri-lockian Ultra-Doom-Proof Mega-Seal, not even I, ZIM, could bypass a system like that."

"First, you definitely made up that name, and second," Daj charged his gun and fired leaving a gaping hole in the door. The group walked through the hole, into the weapon transmit room, and they were stunned at what they saw. Dead Irkens were littered around the entire room. The room was mostly undamaged, and the metal hatch on the ceiling was still closed. They got a closer look at the bodies around the room. Dib had lowered the backpack after carrying it, and Daj also lowered his gun. Zim decided to ignore the bodies and head straight for the console, preparing to shut down the system. Then one of the Irken bodies raised its hand.

Instantly, Zim, Dib, Daj, Ere, Kry, and Kor were pushed against the wall, then metal bindings appeared to hold them in place by their hands, waste, and legs. The body stood up, and his implants stopped glowing.

"To think, that any of you had some sort of hope of beating me," Togan began walking around the room. "Do not forget, I am a superior Irken lord who became the most powerful psychic of the Irken race, along with becoming the most...psychotic." Togan smile ran across his face. Zim and the others all stared at him, none with a look of fear.

"Nothing? No scared tingling on your spinal cords? Or do you honestly believe all of you will make it out of here alive? Maybe I should prove it by showing you the deaths of the beings around you, one by one. Maybe I should start with the green, squishy being who is 'immune' to death yet still feels pain?"

"Try it, sadistic freak," Kor said.

"Oh I will, I always enjoyed the sound of screams, I always play a CD of my favorite ones right before my resting period. Also, I wish to see if your species can handle, demolecularization." Togan moved on to Dib.

"Or maybe I should kill you, the being who questions his self-worth, unfortunately for me, I'm afraid few would care to see your death before their eyes." Dib tried to retain his glare, but a hint of sorrow crept on his face.

"How about the Darvon that became a beast thanks to his pupil?" Kry growled at him then tried to bite him to no avail.

"Or you," Togan looked at Ere, "Oh yes, your death would be fun."

"What?" Ere said, "Go ahead, speak of my flaws to my face!"

"I'd rather talk about your brother's, oh how his mind is just riddled with past regrets. Almost killing the people around him, frying the brain of his mentor, and constantly facing failure while trying to ascertain a feeling of success through killing and lies."

"Shut up!" Daj said.

"But it's so much fun reading through your mind, especially learning about all the lies you told your brother."

"SHUT UP!"

"Daj, don't listen to him! He's obviously trying to break us down through his deceitful statements!" Ere yelled.

"Ere..."

"Hahahaha, oh I can't wait to return to you," Togan then made his way to Zim. "Then there's you, I should've known only an Irken could've thought of a scheme to use a battle culminating from years of war as a distraction, at the same time, only an Irken could've thought of such an idiotic scheme. I'll admit that your will is strong enough to withhold my mind reading, but your flaws are glaring enough. To be so tall, yet so stupid, maybe I should kill you first..."

Togan turn around quickly and brought his claw up, swiping it to block and redirect a laser aimed at him, then blocked a direct attack from a laser sword. It was Dwicky, or more specifically, the fake Dwicky, "Or I could kill the purple being that impersonates a rebel leader!"

"Did he say purple being?" Kor asked.

"No way, Gaz?" Dib said.

"Shut it, Dib," Dib recognized that condescending tone anywhere.

"Honestly, I can't see how a replacement for a rebel leader could've helped you in defeating me, as all my foes sleep in their blood soon enough!"

Togan and Gaz broke off and starting battling each other. Gaz would alternate between attacks from her blaster or laser sword, while Togan would use his claw hand to either deflect or parry. Despite Gaz's height and agility advantage, she couldn't harm Togan, all her attacks got blocked one way or another, and she was getting pissed about it. Her attacks became increasingly aggressive, even enough to surprise Togan a few times. He was getting pushed around, staggering from Gaz's assault. She jumped up close to Togan, swinging her sword with her right, Togan was about to parry it when he noticed the blaster she was aiming at him with her left. He blocked the blaster shot but Gaz slashed him with the laser sword, creating a long gash on his chest. Togan leaped back to assess his wound.

"Amazing, you actually wounded me, you already surpassed the previous wearer of that armor," Gaz tried to jump in for another strike but her leg was held back by wiring, Togan's implants were glowing, "But while that armor may prevent you from being affected by my powers, I can still use them on everything else!"

The machinery around the room began ripping themselves off the walls, Gaz used her sword to cut the wiring binding her leg, but more machinery appeared to bind her. Togan sent a flurry of metallic objects flying towards Gaz, she tried to use her sword and blaster to destroy the pieces before hitting her but there were too many. The machinery slammed her into the wall next to Dib, Togan then used his powers to bind her with them completely.

"To think, an inferior species like you even believed you could kill me, the most powerful being in the universe!"

"How arrogant." Togan turned his attention to the voice, Zim gave Togan a hard glare, looking at him with contempt.

"Oh really, inferior Irken? I have the power to control minds, shake worlds, and destroy all who get in my way! Do you think it is wise to belittle me like that, inferior Irken?"

"The only inferior Irkens are you and all the others that opted to obtain those implants. You all gain such arrogance, believing you know everything, believing you are the paragons of the Irken race, when really, you're nothing but the biggest fools."

"Then I guess this fool will be the one to send you to your death," Togan brought his claw towards Zim, and slowly brought it closer to his body, so that he may get a good look at the moment it's sharp talons pierces his skin.

"WAIT!" Gaz yelled at Togan from across the room, "how...about...you finish...what we started."

"In due time, imposter, but I'd rather let you watch your comrades fall before you, and despite being the one wearing the armor, you couldn't save them."

"Then kill me first!" It was Kor who spoke, "I haven't been with these beings for that long, so I don't care for them, so you won't get any satisfaction from my reaction of watching them die!"

"And yet your mind says otherwise."

"Then kill me!" This time Dib spoke up, speaking with confidence and resolve, "I'm her brother, my death would have a stronger impact than Zim's!"

"Hmm, that would work, and you would show me the look of fear as I carve you."

"Or you can kill me first," Ere said.

"And why would your death cause more sorrow than the Irken's or his?"

"It wouldn't, but it is a hero's duty to put his life in front of others, so I appeal to you. Let me die first."

"Ha...HaHA...HAHAHAHAHA! Your brother has really screwed your mind with nothing but lies, hasen't he?"

"Ha, I trust my brother, he would never do such a thing, right Daj!" Ere turned to see him, but Daj couldn't look him in the eyes.

"You've been living in such a delusion for years, believing that you're a hero, when really you're quite the opposite."

"Ha! I won't be affect by your lies, villain."

"But I only speak truths, surely you can see that, your brother can. Look at the way he avoids your gaze and tell me that I'm lying."

"Daj..."

"All of your acts of heroism were nothing but mercenary work!"

"No!"

"All the money you received were not gifts of gratitude! It was blood money, rewards for killing the target!"

"NO!"

"The so called corruption of authority when you were chased off of Fuelia Portia, there were none! They were all clean authority figures who were enforcing justice on your villainous acts!"

"SHUT UP!" Daj roared in anger.

"You should've told your brother the truth from the start, but you had to use deceit, and now, you're paying for it."

"No, Daj, tell him! Tell him how we were heroes! How we stopped all those criminals!" Ere cried.

"Your targets? Admittedly some of them deserved deaths, but mixed with the scum were innocents."

"No..." Ere remained quiet, broken from the realization of his past actions, his realization that his dream was a facade, his realization of his brother's deceit. He couldn't take the flood of emotions he felt, it was painful, he just wanted them to end. Then in a swift motion, Togan sliced his claw into Ere, pulled it out, and let the blood fall to the floor.

"Wish granted, hero."

"NO!" Daj screamed, Kry started snapping wildly, trying to release his bonds.

"So that was fun, but now to return to what I was doing earlier." Togan walked over to Zim, "Oh, I still can't read you, your will is still strong even after watching me break your comrade."

"Those two are nothing but scaly slime that accompanied me on this mission," Zim said, "I have no feelings for them or anyone."

"Then I guess it's time for your finals seconds of life! Anything you want to say before your squeedly spooch is filled with your fillings!"

"Yes. Skoodge."

"Skoodge?" Togan heard the pressing of buttons and turned around to find a short, stout Irken using the console he had used earlier to bind everyone. The bindings holding Kor, Daj, Ere, Kry, and Zim were released, Dib's binding on his left hand didn't release however. Dib was surprised and assumed it was some sort of glitch or malfunction.

"Really? Dammit!" Dib expressed in frustration.

"Infiltration complete, sir, Hoo-Ha!" Skoodge exclaimed. Togan was puzzled as to where this Irken appeared and then saw a tipped over backpack that was open and empty. He used his powers to keep Zim pinned to a wall. Daj, Kry, Kor, and Skoodge tried to jumped at Togan, but he brought up his other hand to repulse them all back.

"You may have been able to trick me once, but it will cost you your life!" Togan said.

"Quick, Kor!" Gaz screamed at Kor who had landed next to her, "Get these things off me! I have to help Zim!" Kor began tearing the metal binding Gaz, but despite the ease of ripping the metal apart, they weren't going to make it in time.

"Goodbye, inferior Irken!" Togan brought his claw up, he wasted no time this time, he brought it straight through Zim's head, and smiled.

"ZIM!"

Togan's smile quickly became a frown when he saw the face of the Irken he had just killed, smiling right back at him.

"So much arrogance for a being that is the biggest fool in the universe!" Zim said with glee. Suddenly, Zim's chest opened to reveal his hollow metal interior, hiding a SIR unit.

"Surprise!" Gir yelled as he leaped on Togan's face, grabbing him hard while Togan started trying to shape him off. "Hey, you're head's made of metal just like mine! Let's be head buddies!"

Gir started banging his head against Togan's implants, causing Togan pain and irritation. Eventually Togan grabbed Gir and threw him off, he was about to silence the little robot when Gaz kicked Togan in the back of his head.

Togan turned towards Gaz and threw debris at her, but then Skoodge riding Kry attacked Togan from behind, Kry biting and Skoodge headbutting him. Togan flung them and was able to block Gaz's next attack, but then he was sliced by an angry Darvon on the face, grazing his flesh.

Togan grew angrier and angrier trying to block the attacks coming from Gaz, Daj, Skoodge, Kry, and Gir, as each assault gave him a new wound. His anger only made him more powerful. He sent out a strong pulse that pushed everyone but Gaz back and slammed them into the wall, either disorienting or knocking them out. Then he ripped a large piece of metal and threw it at Gaz, binding her by the waist once again.

Then he saw it, right next to where he bound Gaz was her dangling brother and Kor with the G.F.B. Kor had hooked up her boots and gloves to the G.F.B., charging it with energy, by the time she finished diverting all the energy into the gun, she didn't see the giant metal debris that squished her into the wall. Togan also used it to create a hole to the floor below, so pieces of Kor would fall through, slowing her regeneration.

Togan turned his attention on the G.F.B. and Dib, they were aligned enough so that he could destroy it and kill Dib with one claw throw. He uses his psychic powers to throw out the claw and waited for the scream.

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Dib had closed his eyes when he saw the claw flying at him, then he opened them expecting to see the claw wedged into his body, but he didn't. The claw was on the floor next to him and he had no markings or blood showing the claw had pierced him. He then realized the scream wasn't his, it was Togan's. He looked forward to see the psychotic Irken and a Darvon standing behind him. It was Ere. He had crushed the end of the arm that attached to Togan's claw with his hands, causing him to lose focus preventing him from drawing back his fallen claw.

"Why...why do you rebels never die instantly!" Togan screamed.

"Because we have a duty to complete..." Ere fell back, still bleeding and had used up his remaining strength. A very pissed and now one handed Togan turned to him, and stomped on the Darvon's chest with his Irken boot. He pressed and grind the sole as more blood fell out of the wound and he could feel Ere's internal organs being torn apart. Togan would've continued, but a concussive blast hit him, it was the Zim robot.

When Togan saw the smug look on the robot's face he flew into a rage. All of this, all his injuries, the loss of an arm, the bruises, the gashes, the broken bones and implements, they were all due to the Irken sharing the likeness of the robot in front of him. Togan leaped at the robot and it proved no match for him. Immediately Togan began ripping the Zim robot to pieces.

Dib watched and wished he hand wasn't stuck. He saw the charged up G.F.B. right in front of him, and tried to reach for it, but was too far. If only he could grab it, then he could blast Togan right now, and it would all be over. Everyone else was incapacitated in some way, Gaz was conscious though, and was desperately trying to rip the metal minding off of her with her free hands. Dib had to find some way to reach the blaster, then he spotted the fallen Togan claw next to Gaz. He thought back to the moment Ere saved his life, sacrificing his in the process, he knew what he had to do.

"Gaz!" Dib said.

"Can't you see that I'm busy," she answered.

"Give me Togan's claw."

"What? Why?"

"I need it to get out."

"What? How will-" Gaz then caught onto what Dib was planning to do with it, "No, Dib, for the last time, stop being crazy!"

"Gaz, it's the only way I could reach the blaster!" Gaz was reluctant but agreed.

"Fine, but listen to me on where to aim."

Togan was still shredding the Zim-bot like an angry cat tears it's owner apart after finding out it's litter box hasn't been cleaned for weeks.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Togan turned to the source of the scream. It was Dib, who was bleeding from his left arm and was now trying to aim the blaster. Togan tried to throw debris at him but his pain from the earlier wounds caused him to lose focus and miss. He decided to just try to jump the human before he could finish aiming it. Togan ran, while Dib was having trouble getting the blaster to stay steady while holding the trigger. It shook up and down, Togan getting increasingly closer. Just as Togan was about to reach Dib, he fired the blaster. The laser went diagonally, almost at a 90 degree angle, causing Togan to fall back.

Togan watched the laser pass over his face, a familiar warm feeling was felt through his body, he smiled and started laughing.

"...ha...haha...haHaHaHAHAHA! You...missed."

Dib was clutching his left arm and stared at Togan, who sat upright to face Dib.

"Zim is right," Dib said, "You are a fool."

Togan stopped laughing, he felt the cold metal of a blaster barrel on the back of his head. A cloaked figure stood behind him, blaster in hand. He recognized the warm feeling he had felt, it wasn't a sense of victory like he had hoped, it was the sunlight that bathe Oberox, reaching him from the hole in the ceiling. He recognized the voice of the figure wielding the blaster behind him when the figure spoke, it shared the voice of the robot that he had just torn apart.

"Fall before your superior," Zim said. A shot fired, blasting Togan's implants apart, bits of metal scattered in front of him along with his skull, then his corpse fell forward. Zim removed the hood of his cloak, showing his sinister smile to Gaz and Dib.

"You could've told me to you were gonna use a fake body when you told me to get Kor to supercharge Daj's blaster to blow a hole in the roof, I wouldn't have gotten so...worried," Gaz said.

"In order to deceive the fool, I had to deceive everyone."

"Whatever, just help me out of here." Zim started slicing the metal binding Gaz using a small laser. Soon, everyone else started coming to. Daj, Kry, and Skoodge woke up thanks to Zim's help. They removed the rubble that trapped Gir, and moved the debris and allowed the rest of Kor to fall to the other floor to fully regenerate, then they used the rope to pull her up. Dib was still clutching his left arm, rapidly looking around the room to keep his mind off the pain and tried to think of other things.

Daj and Kry walked up to Ere's body to see the damage done to him by Togan. To their surprise, Ere was still slightly breathing, the two started hoping, then Ere spoke silently to Daj.

"Daj..."

"Ere! Hang on brother, you can make it!" Daj said.

"Daj...I understand...why you lied to me...I don't hate...you."

"No, Ere, you can't do that, I've always been such a bad brother."

"No...you've kept me happy...for all these years...and let me live my dream...to the...very end..."

"Ere..."

"Daj...go with my disciple, Dib...help him kill...all the Irkens...and be happy doing it..."

"Are you sure?"

"The Irkens have oppressed...the galaxy long...enough...Stop them...like a hero...and one more thing."

"What, brother?"

"Don't...kill...Zim..."

"But Ere, he's one of them."

"He's turning...Daj..."

Ere fell silent, his breathing stopped. Daj and Kry sat there silently.

"He savedmylife...at theend! He'sa hero," Dib said, comforting Daj's emotional pain while still feeling physical pain.

"Thank you, Dib," Daj carried Ere's body. Zim finished overriding the weapon transmit system, and they all left the room, leaving the armory once and for all.

* * *

The battle between the Irkens and rebels on Oberox was over. Without Togan, most of the Irkens ran, no longer having to fear Togan's wrath. The rebels cleaned up the remaining Irkens and looted the Armory. Everyone had made their way back to the rebel base, where the Dibship was repaired and Zim and the others were preparing to leave.

Dib was being operated on, replacing his former left hand with a mechanical one. He woke up to find rebel medics, Spoocti, Mooshy, and Zim around him.

"How'd it go?" Dib asked.

"See for yourself," Mooshy said. Dib looked at his left hand, it was now fully robotic and felt like his old one, except colder.

"Cool."

"Yep, with the material in the armory and the Dibship, making a replacement hand was no problem," Spoocti said.

"Does it have a built in laser sword?"

"Excuse me?"

"Does it or not?"

"Uh Dib, this is a robotic hand, a laser sword function for something like this is a completely complicated procedure that would need-"

"Does it have a laser sword, or not!" Zim moved towards Dib and rotated his left hand. The fingers pressed against each other and stretched to form an elongated triangle. Then the hand was engulfed in a laser beam, creating a laser sword. "So awesome."

"Dib-worm, I wanted to ask you, even though I was using a fake robot, I could still see and hear everything through it. When I was about to be killed by Togan, you offered your life before mine, why?" Zim asked.

"Well you saved mine a number of times before, and after all these years, despite being enemies for most of the time, I guess I developed a soft spot for you."

"A soft spot?" Dib motioned his hand at his chest.

"It's a feeling that humans get towards others when they feel some sort of bond between them. I guess after spending time with you, I kind of see you like a friend...almost."

"I see, so I take it your sister has one too?"

"I guess." Zim had a look of intrigue and ran off to find Gaz. She was in the hallway and their voices could be heard from the room.

"Zim, what do you wan-WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TOUCHING?" She screamed.

"I'm examining the human soft spot that Dib told me about. I wish to see how it changes the feelings a being has to an-" The sound of Zim being punched into a wall was heard.

* * *

On Foodcourtia, the body of Sizz-Lor was trying to crawl, but was stopped when an Irken stepped on him. Tak grabbed Sizz-Lor by his antennae and brought out her laser sword. She slit his throat and Sizz-Lor was silenced.

Mimi came out and Tak activated her communications system to reach the Employer.

"Invasion of Foodcourtia complete, Armada casualties: fourteen," She said.

"Si," the Employer spoke, "by crippling the Irkens, my conquering of them will be muy rapido! Jajajajaja! Now, prepare for the next planet, Vort."

* * *

"Dammit!" Red exclaimed, "This is the third time we've looked through the database and still nothing on which Irken is destroying our colonies!"

"Yeah-___*munch*_-it's very tiring," Purple said while eating snacks. The Tallests had no idea how long they've been in the database room, all to find a lone Irken out of millions. Red was digging through holofiles (thin screens that contained several pages of information) and holofiles, while Purple was eating snacks. Red wished he didn't let that Irken die in the brain control room so that he could make him do all this work.

"You know, you could help out a bit more."

"Alright," Purple looked around and picked up one of the random files on the floor, "how about this one?"

"We are not going to find what we're looking for in a random file you just picked up! Oh hey, that's interesting."

"What?"

"According to this there are two Irkens that stopped sending their PAK signal."

"So what, it happens all the time when Irkens die, and for some reason there's been an increase in stopped PAK signals since the beginning of our reign."

"But it says the cause of death is unknown, which shouldn't be possible. The last signal a PAK sends is how the Irken dies, no matter the cause."

"Then why is it unknown?"

"The PAK with have to be reprogrammed to stop sending a signal, but only control brains know how to do that."

"Maybe, there's a connection between the Irkens with unknown deaths and the one attacking us. Who are they anyway?" Red dug further into the holofile, and a look of shock overcame his face. "What?"

"One of the Irkens on this file, it's Zim!"

* * *

The group was boarding the Dibship, ready to leave Oberox once and for all. Zim handed Dwicky, now wearing crutches, an envelope and Dib said his goodbyes. The ship was loaded with weapons from the Armory and their latest crew members, Daj and Kry, walked aboard.

"Lizard-stink, the only reason I've allowed you to board is because you've proven somewhat useful in the mission, and I would enjoy seeing you die at the hands of an Irken when you attempt to attack using your primitive and barbaric strategies," Zim said.

"And I'm going to enjoy slaying every drone I see, drone," Daj replied. Kry growled at him a bit to remind him of what Ere said. Daj let out a sigh, "Except for you."

Dib noticed the skull-like shoulder pad Daj was wearing, he asked him wear it came from.

"This? Oh it's Ere's, as his brother it's a Darvon custom for me to wear it in his memory."

"Cool, I didn't know Ere had that."

"Really? I thought you'd notice that Ere had a skull, what with how Darvons aren't squishy like some beings," Dib realized the source of the skull.

"Also, I wanted to give you this, Dib," he handed Dib a dagger, "it belonged to Ere, but he'd be happy if you got it. It still works great, I should know, I used it before coming here."

"Thank...you," Dib really hoped what Daj used it for wasn't what he thought it was.

Kor and Skoodge were the last ones to board, and the Dibship closed and prepared for launch.

"Skoodge," Zim said, "I must commend you on your work in preparing the robotic duplicate for me when I told you to."

"Thank you, sir" Skoodge said.

"It was fun living inside you master," Gir said, "It was like I was your baby, that burst out when the moment is right!"

"Yes, now onward to the destination," Zim said.

"This monkey can be the daddy!"

"Monkey, what monkey?" Zim looked behind him, and to everyone's surprise, the monkey was in the pilot's seat.

"DESTINATION LOCKED" The Dibship said.

"What? WHAT!" Zim tried to get the monkey off the pilot's seat to try to change course, but the monkey kicked him away. "Dibship! Change the course of this ship, NOW!"

"Can't do that, the monkey locked the course, just like you did when we left Earth, so I'm powerless. Besides, I wouldn't want to change it anyway, not for a douche like you!"

"I swear to Irk when I conquer Irk you're becoming SIR parts!"

"Calm down Zim, where are we headed anyway?" Gaz asked. Zim walked towards the monitor, trying to be out of range of a monkey kick.

"We're headed towards Planet Vort."


	22. Calm Before the DOOM

"No, no, no, no! Why won't the scanners tell me anything!" Zim was frantically going through the data logs of his bio scans, trying to find an irregularity, but nothing was showing up. Literally, there was no data on him, each description of him was marked null, as if he had ceased living, but obviously that wasn't the case. According to the bio scans, he had ceased living years ago, yet there was no discernible cause of death listed. Zim started frantically looking around the lab for something that could help him.

"Holofile, piggy, ionic wave blaster, piggy, piggy, laser scalpel, piggy, a rock, piggy, WHY ARE THERE SO MANY INFERNAL PIGGIES IN MY LAB!"

"Hi Master!" Gir popped out of a pile of rubber piggies next to him, happily squeezing the life out of them.

"Gir? Where'd you get all these piggies?"

"I got them over there!" Gir pointed to a broken vault, with the door barely hanging on the hinges.

"I feared this day would come," Zim said quietly,"just clean up all these piggies, Gir."

"Yes, sir!" Gir jumped out of the pile, revealing a rubber pig tied to the bottom of each foot, allowing him to bounce and squeak as he pleased, and he made numerous use of it. Zim could only take a minute of squeaking before yelling at his servant.

"Gir! Stop it, can't you see that I'm working! I don't need your squeaking noises to drown out my brain juices from functioning!"

"Whatcha doing?"

"I was running a bio scan on my body after the last mission and I found something peculiar. According to my bio scans, my body functions had ceased some time ago."

"Master died? No, NO!" The little robot broke down in tears, "He was so much fun, whyyyyyy-"

"Gir! I'm still alive."

"*gasp* It's a miracle!" Gir gleefully hugged Zim.

"Gir, that's not the problem. This data comes from the main Irken database, based off the signal my PAK sends out, but apparently a signal wasn't sent for many Earth years. Do you know what this means, Gir?"

"..." Gir stared blankly at him.

"Yes, I too have no idea what it means!"

As Zim continued to try to figure out why his scans would declare him as deceased, an exhausted Dib and Daj entered Zim's lab.

"Zim...that goddamn monkey...won't move..." Dib collapsed on the floor, the cold metal allowed him to relax.

"Serious...ly, that thing...ATE...MY...HAND!" Daj pointed to his left side, showing Zim the absence of his floating hand.

"Then fry the stupid earth mammal!" Zim said, "Just use that unnecessarily large rif-where IS that rifle?"

"The monkey has it," Daj said disdainfully.

"That monkey...threatened...to blast a hole through the Dibship...if we got close," Dib was still lying on the floor.

"Stupid earth primate, fine! Let him be for now, I have more important matters anyway," Zim said.

"Master died!" Gir shouted.

"What?" Dib started to regain his strength and stood up.

"Apparently my body functions had ceased some time ago, according to my bio scans, but that's not what I'm worried about now," Zim started searching his lab.

"It's not?"

"Your apparent death isn't important to you?" Daj said.

"NO! There is a matter much more grave!" Zim opened a drawer and pulled out a miniature replica of the earth. "See! See this, Dib-worm! This is the problem!"

Dib stared at the replica in Zim's hand, trying to figure out what he was saying. "Zim, I know you hate the earth and hold great disdain for all its inhabitants, but how is the earth relevant at all right now?"

"Foolish, Dib-worm, I have several of these replicas here for the sole purpose of crushing them for joy! However, recently, I haven't been able to destroy them at all! Only Australia!"

"Why Australia?"

"Their koalas shall all be eradicated!"

"Still not over whole drop bear incident I see," Dib looked away and laughed nervously.

"One does not easily forget the placing of several vicious marsupial creatures in one's ceiling that claws one's skin off."

"They were tasty," Gir said.

"It took weeks to heal those scars."

"Heh, good thing we called a truce, right?" Dib said.

"Dib-worm, would you inspect this replica of your filthy planet?" Zim threw the replica at Dib, while he was distracted Zim pulled out a blaster and aimed it at his head. Zim recalled the drop bear incident, feeling every bit of hate for the earth-scum that caused it. Zim was channeling that anger into his finger, trying desperately to pull the trigger. "AAARRRRR! I can't even bring myself to fire a laser at your big head!"

"What?" Dib just now saw the blaster in Zim's hand.

"I even set the blaster on it's non-lethal setting! I don't even remember building a non-lethal setting on this blaster!" Zim threw the blaster on the ground in anger. Gir picked it up and started playing with it, eventually shooting himself with it, launching him to the back of the lab.

"Zim, calm down. Maybe the reason you can't destroy the earth or shoot me is because you don't want to."

"I don't want to? Do you understand the utter stupidity of the words coming out of your mouth, Dib? They're so tremendously stupid that-"

"I do NOT need to hear another one of your stupid metaphors. Zim, all I'm saying is that maybe you aren't as much of a sadistic bastard as you think you are. I dunno, maybe over time, you grew a soft spot for earth and some of its inhabitants."

"Again with that word, 'soft spot', the last time I probed into that issue my head was almost punched into my body by Gaz. Are you saying that I, Zim, has somehow acquired an earth organ that reduces my killing instinct? I thought I got rid of all your filthy earth organs after I finished harvested them years ago."

"It's not an organ."

"So it's an earth disease! A virulent plague that I had contracted during my time on your stupid rock! Curse you filthy earth germs!"

"No, you dense idiot! You're experiencing what all humans feel, compassion, camaraderie, love-"

"Hold on," Daj interrupted, "Are you saying that this drone is actually feeling love? That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! A member of the mighty Irken race, known to be ruthless, cruel, and major idiots, suddenly feeling compassion! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA-" Daj was knocked back by a laser blast. Zim noticed that Daj still twitching and looked at his blaster.

"Curse you non-lethal setting! CURSE YOU!"

* * *

"Daj, Daj, DAJ!" A reptilian hand slapped Daj awake.

"OW! What the-, where am I-..." Daj looked up at the figure that stood before him, he was shocked, he felt overjoyed, "Ere!" then he thought about how implausible this was, especially since he was wearing Ere's skull, "wait a minute, Ere?"

"I'll take that," Ere removed his skull from Daj's shoulder and placed it back on his head.

"No...NO...There's NO WAY that you're alive! I saw you die! I had an emotional moment holding your cold corpse!"

"Well no duh, Daj, of course I'm dead!"

"Then why are you..."

"I thought I was the stupid brother, you're in a dream!"

"Wha..." Daj looked around at the room they were standing in. For one thing, half of the room was horribly distorted, filled with children pictures, rotting toenails, melting numbers, etc. The other half of the room wasn't even a room, it was a field, full of rainbows and roses, with the heads of Darvons on pikes being pollinated by flying Irken hands.

"Of course," Daj said, "It all makes sense, how everything here makes no sense at all! It must be a dream."

"Yes! It all symbolizes your...uh...dark brooding trauma...and...all that!"

"Okay..., one question though. Why is Kry eating my leg?"

"I dunno it's your mind, maybe you're just really sick."

"I don't want to hear that from my brother who went on a delusional hero trip." Ere pointed Daj to the Darvon heads on a stick. "I also don't like the idea of my delusional brother having a valid point."

"Anyway, I'm here to remind you of your quest! You must help Dib save the universe!"

"I know, you made that clear when you died."

"I'm just here to remind you."

"I think having those words be part of your dying speech is enough reinforcement for me to remember, idiot."

"You do know that I'm part of your mind, right? As in you basically called yourself an idiot."

"Wel-...I-...why is my brother much more logical in my mind than in real life?"

"I dunno, your mind, you tell me."

"I can't even understand where we are! Seriously, severed heads and childhood pictures? It makes me look like a deranged psychotic!"

"You are arguing with your inner psyche."

"Whatever, just tell why you're here."

"I-...actually I was just here to remind you of your goals and purpose."

"This is pointless isn't it?"

"Fine, if you feel that way I'm just gonna fade away with the scenery until you wake up."

"Please." Daj's dream started fading away and then he awoke to a bunch of rubble lying on top of him. "One crazy scene to another?"

"Oh you're awake," It was Dib, he had his laser sword activated and they were apparently in the training room. "I guess I got carried away with attacking those dummies," Dib pointed to the rubble on top of Daj.

"What knocked me out?" Daj asked.

"Oh, Zim shot at you with a laser. Kry and I dragged you here after that."

"Zim, ZIM! I WILL HAVE MY REV-You know what, forget it, I can't do anything to him until this mission is over anyway. I'm going to sleep."

Daj moved the dummy remains off of him and got up, only to fall down again. He looked at his leg and spotted his former caretaker jaw wrapped around it. "Kry, I know I fried your brain and all, but I still have to ask, why?"

* * *

"YES YES! MY SWORD WILL SLICE YOU INTO FINE CUTS! FEAST ON THE FLAMES OF DOOM! I WILL OBLITERATE YOUR SOULS! MUAHAHAHA!"

"KOR! Shut up and calm down, it's just a video game," Gaz yelled.

"I can't help it," Kor said, "I've never experienced anything like this! Controlling an avatar to virtually kill and maim others is amazing! I also like the part where each enemy on this level is a blob-like creature."

"You really hate your own people, don't you."

"Yes, very much so."

"Whatever, let's get to the real reason I called you in here. I know you've noticed it."

"Noticing what?" Kor said sarcastically.

"Kor, if you get sarcastic on me, I will shove your head into a blender and drink it."

"Woah, isn't that a bit too violent."

"I could do even worse things if you want."

"Still, drinking my blended remains?"

"Remember, I had no problems with eating your dad's arm."

"Alright, so what about Zim do you want to talk about?"

"Do NOT say his name."

"You were screaming it back on Oberox."

"That was a heat of the moment thing."

"_Right._"

"Blender!"

"Alright, alright! Yes, I have been noticing your issues with Z-_him_. All I have to say is, so what. You said you've known him for a good chunk of your life, is it that strange?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I hate him."

"Why?"

"He's an idiot, egotistical, an idiot, a moron, and a dumbass."

"Yeah, that sums him up nicely, so here's the other question, why do you like him then?" Gaz looked away and reluctantly answered.

"...he isn't that much of an idiot."

"Now we're getting somewhere. So lets start at the beginning, what was Z-" Gaz made a fist, "_he _like when you first met."

* * *

I never really "met" him, he just showed up one day and my stupid brother became obsessed with him. At first, I was happy, because it meant that Dib would stop telling me about how he found Bigfoot toenail clippings or the mole people's swimming pool, but instead, he just kept talking to me about how "today will be the day I expose him," every single day.

I saw Zim the same way I saw everyone around me, an idiot whose genes plague the earth, whose name I only knew because Dib always talked about him. Due to that, I never paid him much attention, even when he harvested my organ once. He was just lucky that I was in the middle of beating Demons Could Weep. Then we started running into each other more often, and each time he would irk me in some way, like using me as an umbrella. Our first conversation with each other wasn't until a couple months later though.

"What the hell are you doing?" I was drinking a soda when I saw Zim, in a badger suit, in my _living room_.

Apparently he wasn't expecting anyone to find him, he froze for a bit when he turned his head around.

"Don't mind me filthy earth girl, I am just a friendly vicious earth badger," he said.

"And badgers talk?"

"...Yes, I am, uh, magical badger! Bent on the DOOM OF YOU-" I threw my soda at him, "HOW DARE YOU THR-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He started reacting to the liquid dripping on his face.

"I'm not stupid, you're Dib's weird friend that he always talks about."

"I am not the Dib-worm's friend! I am Zim! And your feeble planet will-"

"I don't care. Now get out of my house before I have to use force."

"Ha! Do you honestly think that you can best me? I am Zim! Irken Iva-Er, I mean, I am Zim! Normal Weak Earth Human!"

"And I'm Gaz, the person that will throw you out of here in pieces."

"Ha, don't make me laugh so much. Now go on doing your weak, puny human activities while I find the Dib-worm's camera. Each file of Zim must face deletion! Hahahaha-"

* * *

"I don't really remember that much about beating him up, just that I was using a camera as a weapon," Gaz finished.

"I'm surprised you even remembered the conversation that well," Kor said.

"It's hard to forget your first time seeing an alien in a badger suit in your house, though I admit I guessed some of the dialog. He wasn't able to use that suit anymore after that day though."

"You were a very violent child, weren't you? Anyway, what you thought of him during that time was..."

"What an idiot."

"So I guess the next logical question would be, why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you feel the way you do? What changed so much?"

"I don't know, it just did, and I wish I could rip this feeling out and burn it."

"Well, think back, can you remember a time where things suddenly changed?"

Gaz starting thinking back, recalling the times she was with Zim, any moment where something happened. Then she remembered. The memories of that day was faint, but she remembered certain moments of that day. She got a dark glare on her face, then her anger was building up inside her.

"It was ___THAT_day. On ___THAT_day, ___THAT_happened, all because of ___THAT__ I_rken."

"Zim?"

"No." The room grew quiet, Kor watched Gaz keep the same grimace for a while.

"I guess that's all you wanted to talk about then, I'll just go leave...and do...tinkering stuff." Kor got up and opened the door, but Gaz stopped her for a moment.

"Thanks for talking with me, I guess."

"Uh, sure, just wondering though, why me? We haven't known each other for that long."

"You aren't a complete idiot like the rest of them, meaning you know how to avoid painful situations."

"I guess."

"Just a few things to remember before you leave this room. One, never speak a word of what we said here, two, I find your species tasty, and three, I ___was_a dark and violent child, I ___am_a darker and even more violent teenager."

* * *

"So you're telling me that you gained fighting abilities as well as the ability to defy the universal laws of physics just from watching movies on the Dibship's monitor," Tel was questioning his being's recent actions during the armory raid, how they fought with great expertise despite only watching it, however it was their breaking of the rules of time and space that really got to him.

"Yes, sir," answered one of the Heboadians.

"And just how the Boad did you use slow-motion, speed-ups, and freeze frames, not to mention disobeying gravity and applying great force without any sort of knockback effect!" The other Heboadians were discussing with each other about how to explain their methods to their leader. Tel listened on their chatter, whispers, and clinking.

"Simple, sir, we just copied what they did in the movies."

"Just copied? I know our race are fast learners but you cannot learn how to destroy the laws of physics!" The Heboadians turned to each other again, restarting their chatter and clinking.

"Well, sir, we don't understand the laws of physics, and one only follows laws they can understand, thus we can't follow the laws of physics if we don't understand them."

"Did you really just use logic and reasoning to explain how you DESTROYED ALL LOGIC AND REASONING! Were you all bashed in the head!?"

"Well, we were all thrown down the chute headfirst when Pel exiled us." Tel's frustrations had peaked and he was about to release an explosion of anger. He took a moment of silence and composed himself like a true leader would.

"I HAD HALF OF MY FACE CRUSHED AND I'M STILL ABLE TO USE COMMON SENSE!" Or at least he tried. Their illogical statements and increasingly loud clinking was ravaging his nerves.

"But, sir, you're able to pierce beings with a stick, a dull stick."

"That's different! I used knowledge and physics to ascertain a possible method to execute the ability to penetrate the epidermal region of beings then apply a technique to further drill the tiss-WHO IS MAKING THAT CLINKING NOIS-"

"NINJAAAAAAAAAAA!" Tel was suddenly captured in a sack by a cyan piece of malfunctioning circuitry. The other Heboadians only stared as the robot took their leader away right before their eyes.

The Heboadians were confused but eventually decided to do the only logical thing, watch more movies.

* * *

"Let me out of this sack! Release me!" Tel had been in the bag for about five minutes, however, he was continuously yelling for five straight minutes irritating the Irken next to him.

"Shut up cyber-monkey!" Zim ordered Gir to release Tel.

"Zim? Why the Boad did you stuff me in a bag! You could have just ordered me down. I did promise my loyalty and I honor my word."

"It was easier this way."

"And fun!" Gir said.

"I need you to remove the monkey from the pilot seat."

"Why don't you get Skoodge or someone else to do it?" Tel asked.

"Daj and Dib only made the situation worse by giving the monkey a rifle. Skoodge was able to get the cannon from him, however..." Zim opened the door to the cockpit. Tel looked and saw the monkey in a deathmatch with Skoodge, both had scratches and bruises on their faces and looked like they had been fighting for hours.

"HOOOO-HAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Skoodge yelled and the monkey shrieked in return as they both leaped towards each other, colliding in mid-air. The two traded blows and were jumping around the room.

"Zim, all I know is how to poke someone with a stick, I don't think I can fight that thing," Tel said.

"You don't need to fight the monkey, just sneak to the pilot's seat and change our course," Zim said.

"Why aren't your doing that?"

"Because I don't want to get hurt, now go," Zim grabbed Tel and threw him into the room, closing the door behind him.

Tel let out a grunt of disdain, but turned to focus on the situation at hand. Skoodge and the monkey were still engaged in battle, completely ignoring Tel's presence in the room. Tel used that to his advantage and casually walked into the pilot's seat. He sat down and looked at all the buttons and levers, then he realized the flaw in Zim's plan.

Zim opened the door to see what was taking Tel. "Hurry up already!" Zim yelled.

"Zim, I have no idea how to pilot a ship."

"Do something!"

Tel stared back at the control console. All the buttons and levers were confusing him, eventually making him sweat. They ate at his mental psyche, taunting his ignorance of intergalactic travel.

"Hurry up, you stupid cyber-organic amalgam!" Zim yelled.

"Alright!" Tel chose a big purple button, and pressed it. The Dipship suddenly started accelerating faster and faster. Tel was knocked out of the pilot seat and started bouncing around the room. Zim and Gir were also pushed into the room and bounced off the walls like pinballs. The monkey and Skoodge, despite being thrown around, were still beating each other senseless. Zim and Tel were screaming in pain, Gir was just having fun.

"AAAHHHHHHH-Dibship stop this thing-AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zim yelled.

"I would've if the monkey hadn't locked me out of the controls," the Dibship replied.

"AAAAHHHHHHH-Curse you, monkey!-AAAHHHHHH!"

The Dibship started colliding with asteroids and small moons, causing the ship to twist, turn, and spin. The Dibship was speeding towards a planet, Zim kept getting glimpses of the space rock that was increasing in size. The monkey also noticed and halted his fight with Skoodge by throwing him and causing him to bounce randomly like Zim. The monkey pulled out a hammer from his spacesuit and approached the glass. Zim only watched as once the Dibship entered the planet's atmosphere, the monkey broke the glass of the Dibship and leaped out. Zim saw the monkey activate a parachute and the ship flew by the creature.

Zim saw that the Dibship was about to hit the surface of the planet and braced himself.

"I hate that monkey."

* * *

Zim woke up to silence and darkness. The wiring of the Dibship was everywhere, the command console was in pieces, the glass was cracked all over, sand from the planet was seeping into the ship. Zim examine his body for any wounds, he found only some minor scratches and bleeding but nothing broken. He assumed the planet's sand softened the crash a bit. There was no light outside, the Dibship was only dimly lit by the few working lighting fixtures. When the ship crashed there was still daylight, he questioned just how long he was knocked out for.

"Dibship, status report," Zim's statement was only met with a groan from the Dibship. Zim turned around to find Gir buried headfirst in a pile of rubble, his legs frantically moving in an attempt to escape. Zim pulled him.

"Hi, master!" The little robot casually said.

"Gir," Zim said weakly, "Go find Tel and Skoodge and wake them, if possible."

Gir gave his master a salute and walked off to find his fellow servants. Zim walked towards the door to find the rest of his crew. Zim went to the first closed door he could find and opened it.

Zim came face to face with Gaz. She was holding her forehead, blood was streaked across her face from a gash. She looked weary, she had also just woken up after being knocked out.

"Zim? What the hell happened?" Zim could tell she was also feeling the pain of the crash.

"Tel crashed the ship, the monkey escaped, and I don't know if anyone else is alive," Zim helped her out of the room. "Now come on, we have to find the rest of them."

Gaz followed Zim, feeling too tired and hurt to express any anger at the situation. They continued across the dark ship until she fell, a pain in her leg preventing her from keeping up. Zim turned and saw the red liquid dripping from her leg. He helped her up and let her drape her arm around his back and they continued forward.

"Where are we?" Gaz asked.

"If the monkey never changed course when we left Oberox, then my guess would be Vort."

"Looks like we're gonna be stuck here for a while."

"Maybe, Vort is the Irk's main planet for research and development, all our glorious weaponry, armor, constructs, battle mechs, they all started as an idea on this planet."

"Vortians must be pretty smart then, considering their technology helped your people rule the galaxy."

"Don't be mistaken, the best ideas were made by Irkens, like myself, which is why we took over this planet fairly easily. Since then, this is Irk's most heavily guarded colony, which is why I wanted to avoid this planet."

"Because we aren't strong enough."

"Yes, we're smart enough, my brain power is so grand that I, Zim, was banished from this planet for my genius, but in terms of strength, even I can admit our crew is lacking."

"Banished? So if we get captured would they even recognize you?"

"It matters not, even if they don't recognize me, the Irken guards would still lock us up for even stepping foot on this planet."

"Great, if I don't bleed out then I'll get imprisoned." Zim stopped in his tracks. "Zim?"

He motioned Gaz to be quiet. He heard a faint muffle in the room. Gaz eventually heard it and found the source. It came from the dining area, from a food storage unit that fell over. Flailing around it were the limbs of their Fefian comrade. Zim put Gaz down and lifted the storage unit with all his might, lifting it just enough for Gaz to pull Kor out.

"I must've been stuck under there for hours," Kor looked at Zim and Gaz and how they both had visual injuries. She saw the state of the Dibship and assumed the situation. "I thought that after crashing so many times you would've learned how to at least crash without destroying the ship."

"I do not need your snark, Tinkerer," Zim said. The trio continued down the ship to search for Dib and the others. Zim explained to Kor the details of what he knew so far during their search. They checked Dib's room and found nothing, leaving just the last room, the training room. They found a mess in the room, most of the dummies were sliced up and scattered, debris everywhere, however, what stood out was the large hole in the ship to the outside. They walked out, assuming that Dib, Daj, and Kry would be there, what they found shocked them.

Vort was in ruins. Not far from where they crashed they saw collapsed buildings, hollowed out and without any signs of life. Laser-burns everywhere, and even the bodies of Irken and Vort alike sprawled on the ground.

"I thought you said this was Irk's most heavily guarded colony," Gaz said.

"It was," Zim answered. He recognized the area they were in. It was where he was stationed when he used to work on Vort. He recognized the buildings that were now toppled and cracked, he recognized the pathways that he used to take, he remembered how this was the heart of Vort.

The sound of a laser charging caused him to turn around. He saw Dib, Daj, and Kry, all unconscious, all bound and gagged. Gaz and Kor also turned around and looked at the figure before them. Zim and Gaz only gave the female being a hateful glare and she spoke.

"You're a bigger fool than I ever imagined, Zim."


	23. DOOM Hunt Part 1

The being held her blaster directly at Zim, the sadistic smirk on her face expressing her joy of seeing her acquaintances in such a state. Zim and Gaz would have loved to blast her brains right then, but they left the ship unarmed and they were also in no condition to fight. All they could do to express their hatred was to glare at her.

"Tak," the three letter name left a disgusting taste in Zim's mouth.

"I sense a bit of scorn and hate there, Zim, is that the kind of tone you want to use with a fellow invader?" Tak was enjoying this situation, having the beings she hated the most at her mercy was the best thing to happen to her in weeks.

"Didn't you fail your invader exam, Tak? At least I _was_ an actual Invader."

"And yet how many planets have you conquered? Didn't you fail to even conquer that pathetic rock known as Earth? I, on the other hand, have conquered multiple planets, I think you recognize their names, Derim, Tnol, Plinuct, Foodcourtia..."

"Those are Irken colonies!"

"That's right, and now you're the witness to my latest conquest, Vort."

"No fair! Conquering Irken planets was my idea first!"

"You thought it first but I did it first."

"How dare you steal from my genius!"

"Please, I think I would actually get dumber if I took anything from your mind. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an Irken homeworld to conquer before the next cycle."

"That idea was mine first! Mine!"

"Blah, blah, I'm Zim and I like to yell to pretend I'm smart! My Irk, I forgot how annoying you could be. I'm just going to kill you now."

Zim, Gaz, and Kor braced themselves for the blast. Tak was taking her time to pull the trigger, savoring Zim's last seconds. She wore that sadistic smile she always had and slowly licked her lips out of joy and insanity. She was about to pull when she was interrupted by her SIR unit.

"Not now, Mimi, I'm finding joy in my life," Tak kept holding the laser at Zim but Mimi was persistent and got in her way. "Mimi, if you don't want to be smelted down into a pie tin move!"

The SIR unit didn't move.

"Mimi, I'm serious about that threat," Tak aimed her laser at Mimi, "I hope you like living as a dessert p-"

"I want him alive."

The voice came from Mimi but it wasn't her's. It was a deep, accented voice. Zim knew this voice was important, because it made Tak let go of the trigger.

"Damn it!" Tak screeched in a fit of rage. "Well, Zim, it looks like you'll be living for at least a few more hours, _he_ wants to see you."

"Who's he? Don't refer to a being in such an ambiguous manner in an attempt to disguise his identity!" Zim said.

"I'll refer to the Employer any way I want!"

"The Employer? Is that who you're working for?"

"No it isn't."

"You just said it."

"You said it!"

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"Your head doesn't make sense!"

"CAN YOU JUST CAPTURE US ALREADY!" Gaz interrupted the two's stupid banter. Tak turned away from Zim and activated a communication device on her wrist, but she still aimed the blaster towards them.

"Lard, I need transport for six prisoners. Also, bring bombs, there's something big and annoying I want destroyed."

* * *

Zim, Gaz, Dib, Kor, Daj, and Kry were to be brought to the remains of a Vortian Detention Center. A group consisting of various races from the universe put blindfolds on them and bounded their wrists. They were taking orders from Tak, but none of them seemed to like her. They always glared at her with hate, a glare that was also aimed at Zim.

They were brought there on a land vehicle, something Tak's group had scavenged from the planet. Zim couldn't see the remains of the city but could get a sense of the surroundings. There was nothing but silence. Zim recalled that life on Vort was always somewhat lively, either some new inventions were made or scientific disaster occurred, most of which were Zim's fault. Zim could tell that Vort was dead.

Zim heard the sound of a gate opening and they were taken off the vehicle. A few moments later, Tak removed their blindfolds and threw them in a cell. The six sat behind a set of bars made of lasers, then Dib, Kry, and Daj eventually woke up. On the other side was Mimi, looking at the six faces that sat before her. Tak entered the room shortly after.

"Well, the Employer won't be able to contact us for another few hours, so if everything goes exactly like I want them to, that's exactly how long you have left to live," Tak grew a hopeful smile on her face.

"How?" Zim asked.

"How what?"

"How the Irk did you conquer all those worlds?"

"Because I'm a superior Invader."

"You lie!"

"But I am, I've invaded and took over several planets. You couldn't even take earth."

"You couldn't either, Tak."

"That was your fault, just like every bad thing that happens to me, it's all because of you!" Tak calmed herself down, "However, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have met him, and I wouldn't have you all at my mercy."

"Why are you keeping us alive anyway?" Gaz asked, there was no fear in her voice, "You only need Zim alive, so why didn't you kill us when you had the chance?"

"Oh Gaz, where's the fun in just killing you immediately? Don't misunderstand me, just because I really hate Zim doesn't mean I don't hate you or your brother the same amount for all those wretched years on Earth."

"I feel the same way."

"I love how you always act so tough in front of others. Your diary makes you out to be a completely different person," Tak took out a black book with a picture of a heart being stabbed by a knife and waved it in front of Gaz's face.

"It's a Vendetta List! And give it back before I tear it away from you, along with your hands!"

"Gaz, always so dark in your threats, according to you're diary, on the inside...you're _really_ dark. You should see someone about that. Oh well, like you can make threats."

"Give it back!"

"Nope." Gaz shot Tak a spiteful look. "Well have fun in your cell, I'm going to prepare torture devices for all of you, it's going to be so much fun! Hahahaha..." Tak left the room, leaving Mimi to watch over Zim and the others. The group moved back into the darkness, hiding from Mimi's sight.

"Now what," Dib whispered.

"We escape of course," Zim said.

"How, Mr. Genius," Kor said sarcastically.

"Lizard-stink."

"It's kind of hard to tie someone by their wrists when they only have one hand, and no wrists," Daj revealed his free hand, "Now how do we remove your bonds."

"Tak made three errors, one not properly bonding the Lizard-stink, two, not knowing about Dib-worm's lasersword."

"Right," Daj activated Dib's lasersword, cutting his bond in the process. Once they removed all the bonds, Zim explained the next course of action.

"Now before we move on, we have to distract Tak's SIR unit somehow," at that moment the group looked at Mimi and she fell face first on the ground. "That problem solved itself."

"Wait," Kor said, "Isn't that a bit suspicious?"

"It doesn't matter. The third mistake was imprisoning me in the place where I did all my work in."

"You worked in a prison on Vort?" Gaz asked.

"Prison? Ha, what a foolish misunderstanding. This is the thinking area for all the best scientists on Vort! I didn't work here exactly, I worked in a more traditional lab, but I was sent here as a reward each time I made a new invention."

"It looks like a prison."

"That's only to fool the dumb geniuses, only beings like me and the murderous Vortian that slaughtered dozens of beings who was my thinking partner could see the true meaning of this place!"

"...just get on with the plan."

"Dib-worm, cut a hole behind this wall." Dib carefully cut a circle on the back of the cell, leading into another room of the building.

Once on the other side they found several corridors leading in several directions, reminding them of the terrible labyrinth on Oberox, except the walls were too high to climb over. However, Zim knew which corridors would get them out since he would often escape his "thinking room" and explore the facility.

As they ran through they found that most of the security systems were either broken or powerless. Though on one hand, this meant no alarms could go off and warn Tak, on the other hand, it irked Zim. He suddenly stopped at a fork in the path.

"This is where we split paths," Zim said, "You will all be taking the right path, just follow it through and you'll reach a gate. Wait a few seconds and it'll open. I'll be taking the path on the left."

"Wait, what'll you be doing?" Gaz asked.

"Someone has to open the gate."

"What?"

"If you didn't notice, the power in this building is lacking, however, the gate is still functioning, I heard it when we entered, meaning parts of the building is till functioning. Since I know that none of you have the intelligence to operate a simple gate, I'm going to have to open it."

"Then how will you get out?"

"I can get out on my own, you've been dragging me down anyway. Now go and find whatever remains of the Dibship. I'll meet you all later," Zim took off, leaving his team behind. The group decided to follow Zim's order and started heading for the gate. While they were running, Gaz thought she her a faint clanking sound from Zim's direction.

Dib and the others ran down the corridor until it reached an open room. There was the gate Zim had mentioned, it was too large to force open and too thick for Dib to slice through, so they waited as Zim instructed.

"Do you really think that the Dibship blew up?" Dib asked.

"Think about it, Dib," Daj said, "What did you hear when we were being taken here?"

"Nothing."

"Exactly."

"Unless they had some explosives that somehow creates force without causing vibrations in the atmosphere, it's a safe bet to say the Dibship wasn't blown up, yet." Kor said.

"And the sooner we find it the sooner we can find my blaster, so I can kill those freaks that tied me up."

"I think we should prioritize leaving over blasting the brains out of beings."

"The ship crashed hard enough to knock me out, I can only guess that it's heavily damaged. If it can't fly, then we're gonna be stuck for a while, and I might as well kill beings to kill time." Kor knew that Daj had a point, she saw the ship after the crash, it was a wreck. Even if the entire crew knew how to reconstruct the Dibship it would take days.

"Before we think about what to do at the ship, we should focus on finding it first," Dib said, "Does anybody have any idea where it is?"

"Absolutely none," Kor and Daj said in unison.

"Alright, um, did Zim say anything on how to find it?"

"He said nothing," Kor answered.

"...Zim's plans are always vague aren't they?"

"And yet we're always the idiots for never asking for more detail."

"Alright, we'l-" Dib was interrupted by a rumbling sound. The gate had begun to open. Dib ordered the others to move quickly, and they all slipped under the gate. Once they got out the gate suddenly closed on them, the group was thankful nobody was under it when it happened.

"You were saying, Dib."

"Right, we'l-" Dib stopped mid-sentence and looked around, "Wait a minute, where's Gaz?"

* * *

Zim found the console that controlled the gate in the guard's room. The room was dark and abandoned, as expected of a post-invasion detention center. He ran towards the console but tripped over something, a fallen drawer housing weapons belonging to the guards apparently. He got up and approached the console and saw it was left on. Now he just had to figure out how to open the gate. The console featured several buttons, levers, knobs, and pully thingies, he was also inexperienced in dealing with gate control consoles. Zim did the only logical thing that came to his mind. He pushed a big red button labeled "Open". He heard a rumbling and assumed he opened the gate. He applauded himself for his great analytical skills.

Then the lights came on. Power lit up the room, revealing what was hidden in the darkness. There were blood smears on the walls, both from Irkens and Vortians, however there were no bodies. In front of Zim were several monitors, all of which lit up and revealed the several rooms and corridors of the detention center. He spotted Dib and the others escaping under the gate, then he saw the room he was in, and the being that leaned against the door behind him.

"So how'd your little escape go, Zim?" Tak said playfully.

"Quite well, actually, Tak," Zim said her name with disgust.

"Oh? Despite how you're still here, trapped with me?"

"You don't know my combat prowess, maybe I could outmaneuver and get by you and exit through the gate?" Tak aimed her blaster and shot the gate controls. Zim looked behind him and saw the gate fall suddenly through the monitors. "No matter, Tak, this doesn't hinder my plans at all."

"Is that right?"

"Of course, and they will go according to plan."

"Really? Are you sure I haven't done anything that might have changed those plans?"

"Of course not, you don't know what I'm thinking!"

"Of course not, Zim, you're really stupid, so if I knew what you were thinking, that would make me stupid. However, I'm not stupid, I'm superior to you, which means I know what you're thinking plus what others think! In other words, I think more than you!"

"What?"

"And I listened to what Mimi recorded." Tak's SIR unit moved forward and replayed Zim's words from earlier. "This recording eye for SIR units was really helpful, I thank you for dropping it."

"You picked it up? It was lost on Heboad!"

"Which I was on for a reconnaissance mission."

"And how did you record me? I was whispering!"

"Have you heard yourself whisper? It shares the same decibels and the cries of earth whales."

"That still doesn't matter! I haven't even revealed most of my genius plan yet!"

"You mean how you purposely left yourself behind to let everyone else escape because you knew you were temporarily invincible since my boss wanted you alive, then you would use those few hours waiting for him to plan an escape? It's not that hard to figure out, Zim, even the shortest of Irkens can deduce that."

"N-No! That wasn't my plan at all! For one thing, why would I, Zim, leave myself behind and not escape?"

"Because I know of the troubles you're going through with your PAK, and the new...traits you're getting with them."

"I have no idea what you're spewing!"

"I know the situation, Zim, how you're PAK doesn't transmit any Bio-Waves anymore, and how you're feeling like those earth-worms that you loathe so much, it's because-" Tak paused and turned around. "Zim, you were saying how everything has gone according to you're plan?"

"Yes." Tak motioned to Mimi. The robot outstretch her arms and they flew out of the door. Zim heard a familiar voice and they yelled in protest of Mimi's arms attacking them. The robot arms retracted to reveal Gaz behind suspended by her arms.

"Gaz!" Zim shouted.

"Looks like one of your group doesn't like listening to you. Shame, I was gonna look forward to her performance later," Tak said.

"I told you to leave with the others! Why are you here?"

"I-" Gaz didn't want to tell Zim that she heard Mimi and got worried for him, "I came back to get my Vendetta List, I'm not going to leave without it."

"You mean you're diary?" Tak made Gaz face her and revealed a black book with a picture of a heart being stabbed on the cover.

"Vendetta List!"

"Well you're not getting it back."

"Why the hell do you even want it?"

"That's none of your business. I could want it for professional reasons, or maybe for personal reasons, like reading your little secrets. For instance, your liking for a cert-"

Gaz used her legs to kick Mimi in the face, causing her to drop. She then lunged at Tak and punched her on the left side of her head, causing the diary to fall out of her hands. Gaz tried to grab it but she was quickly restrained by Mimi, who used extra robotic limbs coming from her head.

"All this for your feely book," Zim said, "Ridiculous."

"Shut up!" Gaz retorted.

"Oh, I'm really going to enjoy torturing you, Gaz," Tak said as she got up. She picked up Gaz's diary and tucked it away.

"I swear, Tak, when I get the chance I'll tear your squeedly-spooch out!"

"But you'll never get that chance. So Zim, how does it feel to know that your plan is crumbling around you."

"It's not. Dib-worm and the others will-"

"Die."

"What?"

"Zim, so far your plan consisted of two things, letting everyone else escape and you'll be the only one left behind. Well you obviously aren't the only one, and everyone else certainly won't escape."

"What are you talking about, they already got pass the gate."

"Of course, because I let them. I let you get this far, Zim, I let you think Mimi wasn't paying attention by knocking her down, I let you open the gate by leaving the console on and labeling the open button, and I let your little group go through the gate, but just because they got out doesn't mean they've 'escaped'."

"What are you talking about?"

"The only reason I kept your group alive was because I wanted enjoyment from their suffering, so on my way here I was thinking about the best way to do that. That's when I spotted one of the soldiers in my armada, you know, the force that did this to Vort."

"You armada is still here? This late after an invasion?"

"Of course not, they're the last group, specifically five of my soldiers, left to scavenge the planet along with me and my...other, less competent group. I've already canceled their other search orders around the planet, and they're all converging here, to find your little crew. All while I watch from the city's monitors, eating pie!"

"My crew can handle five soldiers."

"How naïve, these soldiers razed planets, and nothing stopped them; not Foodcourtian, not Vortian, and not Irken, four ragtag fools won't even be able to stop one of them. Eventually I will see each member of your crew die, as they'll all be hunted."

* * *

"Explosions set, sir, ready to commence with big boom!" Shloonktapooxis and a few of the other members of the Resisty have finished placing the bombs all over the Dibship. There were five of them, Lard Nar, Shloonktapooxis, Spleenk, Ixane, and their pilot, the large being with a floating brain.

"Wait, Shloonk, you missed one," Nar picked up an explosive and placed it on Shloonk's head.

"Gee, these are a lot of explosives already, do we really need one more?" The Resisty looked at the Dibship and saw that it's entire surface was covered with explosives except for the openings caused by the crash.

"Tak said she doesn't care at all for this ship or its contents, blow it up so we don't have to worry about what's inside. Also I already rigged all the explosives to be blown up by this switch, so we might as well not waste it."

"Alright, sir. Hey, there's no room on the outside."

"Just put it somewhere inside."

"Alright," Shloonk started hovering towards the Dibship when a loud groan was made. The Resisty looked at each other to confirm who it came from, but none of them was the source of the groan. They ignored it and Shloonk moved forward, then the source of the groan spoke.

"...o-ow...what...happened? Where am...I..."

"What? Who said that? Show yourself before me!" Nar shouted.

"What? Who's shouting with that nasally annoying voice like he's trying to sound important!"

"Hey! I'm not trying to sound important, I am important!"

"Ow, my audio intakes! What accent is that! It reeks with the stenches of meaningless side character!"

"How can sound waves even give off an odor!"

"I don't know, but apparently you're unimportance destroyed all natural laws of this universe!"

"Why you..., show yourself! Face me instead of hiding like a coward!"

"How about you face me! I can't see you at all! In fact I can't see anything! Not inside, not outside, how about you face me you dipstick!"

"You..you! Are you hiding beh-"

"Wait! I can't see anything! I'M BLIND! Oh cruel and heartless beings! You strip my vision from me while my conscious was relinquished! What dastardly fiends!"

"What the? We never blind-"

"Oh the woe that I feel! I must released these sorrows into physical form! I must scribe!...I can't even move! Seriously, what the hell? Not just my vision but my you paralyze me as well! Do you have coal in your core? Why must these things keep happening to me!"

"...what's going on?"

"I am but a tree, forever growing leaves, as they leave, a new leaf takes its place, until I die...the leaves represent tragedy."

"I...I'm just going to sit down now. I-I need time to comprehend what's going on." Nar sat on a rock while the voice continued his ramblings. Shloonk hovered over to his leader.

"Captain, I know what's going on!" Shloonk said.

"Yes, Shloonk," Nar responded.

"I can tell you," Shloonk lowered his voice, "but you'll have to keep it a secret."

"Sure, Shloonk."

"It's the princess!"

"..."

"That voice belongs to the princess of my home planet! She has returned to me so that we may fly away to peace and joy!"

"..."

"I'll handle this, boss. Hey princess!"

"-h woe, oh sorrow, black darkness, rubied dust, uh, other artistically...doors- hey, wait, what?" The voice stopped in his ramblings.

"Princess, it's me! Shloonktapooxis Nebuloxia Bluconix! I'm here for you to whisk me away!"

"..."

"I think Shloonk just out-stupid whatever that voice is," Spleenk whispered to Nar.

"Princess, where are you! Are you inside the ship? I'll come for you!" Shloonk started making his way towards the ship.

"Screw you! I am the ship!"

"Princess? You're the ship? Did you transmogrify yourself again?"

"You idiot! I'm not a princess, you numbskull! I'm the Dibship, you dipstick!"

"Ooooooh, hey boss, it's just the ship's computer personality."

"Can we just blow it up now?" Nar said.

"Okay."

"Woah, wait, what?" The Dibship said, "You're gonna blow me up?"

"Yes, we already placed all these bombs on you, we just need to place this last one."

"Wait, would you really blow up another being?"

"You're not a being, you're a program."

"Do I not feel too, Do I not think as you do, Am I not living? By Dibship."

"That...was, beautiful."

"Good, now get these things off me you useless, unimportant waste of space."

"Blow him up."

"Wait, no, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-" Shloonk hovered inside the Dibship as he was screaming. The Resisty waited for Shloonk to return so they could blow up the Dibship. They waited for hours and still no sign of him.

"AAAAAAHHHH-you know what, my vocal gears are getting tired, I'm going to sleep mode," The Dibship ceased his screaming to the delight of the Resisty, but now they needed to get Shloonk out of there.

"Pilot, since you are the largest and thus presumably the strongest out of all of us, you go in and get Shloonk," Nar ordered. The brain-exposed being obeyed and marched into the ship. After a while, he too didn't return.

"We need to approach this more strategically," Nar said, "Ixane, you are our fastest, go in and scout the situation then return. Ixane agreed and ran inside, after more waiting she also didn't return.

"Sir, maybe we should try going in together," Spleenk suggested.

"Spleenk, for some reason the universe hates you because all your ideas end up never working. So because you suggested that idea, we're gonna do the opposite, and you're going in next."

"Yes, sir." Spleenk walked in leaving only Nar waiting. After a while he got bored and decided it was about time to go in himself. He approached the douchey ship and entered through the open hole in the back where the others entered.

He found himself in a dark room filled with rubble, stuffing, and broken targets. He found a corridor on the other side of the room and followed it. After walking on the path and seeing some of the other rooms of the Dibship, Nar started seeing a faint glow coming from behind him. He walked forward and saw that the glow was following him. He started walking but then quickly turned around to face his pursuer, and when he did, the pursuer was right in front of him.

"Hi!" It was a cyan robot about his height that was stupidly waving his hand. Nar recognized the robot, it was on the dossier given to him by the Employer. The bot was a subordinate of the Irken who was the captain of the ship, apparently it was left behind after Tak captured the crew. The files said that the robot was really stupid, but he remained cautious.

Nar kept watching the robot, and he slowly backed away, but the robot moved as he moved and kept following him. Nar stopped again, trying to determine if the robot was gonna attack him or not. He stared at the robot, who made strange noises each time he leaned forward, then he started feeling really weird being in the same area as this robot. He tried to think of methods to get away, and he decided to put his faith in the Employer's dossier of the robot and try to use mind games to make him leave.

"Um, can you go away?" Nar asked.

"Okay!" The robot ran off in the other direction. Nar sighed in relief and turned around, only to find the robot staring at him again.

"Ah! How did you get there?" The robot just stared at him. "Just, get away from me."

"Noooo," The robot smiled with his tongue sticking out, its big, round cyan lights still aimed at him.

"Please," Nar said calmly, "I kind of have business, uh, by myself, so if you cou-"

"You'll never leave."

"What?" The robot's last statement took Nar by surprise. The robot had said it in such a gleeful tone that Nar started getting very nervous. He tried slowly backing away, but the robot would follow his movement. Nar panicked and started sprinting away but the robot would suddenly appear and he would have to change directions, until he found himself in a dead end. It was a dark room, Nar found himself against a wall, standing in the doorframe on the opposite side of the room was the robot, only his cyan parts were visible.

"Never ever, hehahehaHeHaHeHaHEHAHAHAHA-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

"Gaz! Gaz! Gaaaaz!" Dib was searching frantically for his sister, hoping that she wasn't still inside or worse, crushed under the gate.

"Dib, calm down!" Kor shouted at him.

"Gaz! Gaz! Damn it, Kor, what do I do? What if she's dead! I can't go home with my sister's corpse!"

"Dib, just calm down and stop being a hysteri-!"

"What if I don't even have a corpse to bring home! Maybe I can lift this gate!"

"Dib!" Kor tried to stop him but Dib frantically ran to the large closed gate and tried lifting it with all his weak earthly might. "Ugh, Daj, do something."

"Zim, damn you, open this door!" Daj walked to Dib and kicked him so that he was on his back. Kry then dragged Dib back to Kor.

"I was the last one through the gate, I'm positive that Gaz wasn't behind me. At worse, she's still stuck inside."

"Thenwehaveto-" Kor slapped Dib to shut him up.

"Gaz isn't stupid, Dib. If she didn't escape with us, then she must have a good reason to stay behind. For now, we should just trust her and go back to the Dib ship like Zim told us to." Dib thought for a bit and silently nodded.

"Fine, I know that Gaz could handle herself, it's just as her brother I have to worry about her too. You know the feeling right?"

"I hated my family."

"I can kind of sympathize," Daj said.

"So let's get to the Dibship then," Dib started walking off and Kor, Daj, and Kry followed. After two steps Dib stopped in his tracks, "Right, we have no idea where the Dibship is."

"Well since we're already lost, I think we should just keep walking away from the facility containing the sadistic drone that gets way too much joy from death, both of them" Daj said. They all agreed that it was the best solution, they could at least recon the area.

Vort's three moons provided the group with enough light to survey the area. The city was broken and desolate after the invasion but they could still tell how advance the Vortians were in terms of their technological prowess. The planet, or at least the city they were in, lacked any sign of organic matter, the ground, the plants, and even metallic clouds floated over them. The buildings that surrounded them, both those partially left standing and fallen, were interconnected, each had some sort of walkway that lead to the next building. Dib wished he could've seen Vort pre-Tak invasion, to witness a technology based alien planet that wasn't bent on owning the universe.

"Tak certainly did a good job destroying the city, a better job than Zim ever did on earth," Dib said.

"I'm surprised at how thorough she is," Kor said, "this is what the entire planet like, right? How could anyone caused this much destruction to an entire planet?"

"Irkens are purely militaristic," Daj said, "They use the resources of the conquered to conquer even more, and then refuel. They have amassed legions of warships and advance tech through this method, not to mention being the most powerful race means they just keep growing at a rapid rate, giving them an almost unlimited supply of soldiers. So think about it, unlimited resources, unlimited technology, and unlimited soldiers, conquering planets like these is just routine work for them."

"But it wasn't the Irkens who even did this," Dib said, "Whoever, whatever did this beat the Irkens. Is there any sort of force or race in the universe that can go against the Irkens like this?"

"In terms of soldiers, the closest race is-...was the Darvons. In terms of technology, it was the Vortians before they started giving the technology to the Irkens. There are no ships that could even come close to the planet-destroying powers of the ones used by Irk, the Irken fleet is left unmatched by anything in this universe."

"If they didn't have the planet destroying tech that the Irkens used, then how can they do all of this?" Kor asked.

"If it's not the tech that's beating out the Irkens, then it can only be the soldiers. I know first hand the a good chunk of Irken soldiers are incompetent, so actually outmatching _an_ Irken soldier is no big deal, it's the fact that whatever did this outmatched _colonies _of Irken soldiers."

"An army that beat out the Irkens? Does a force like that even exist?"

"Apparently. I don't know what deep hole in the universe they crawled out from, but I would never wanna cross paths with any of them."

"Me too," Dib said.

"Me thre-AAHHH!" A laser bolt had zoomed across and hit Kor through her stomach. Dib caught her before she fell and the four looked at the source of the shot. It was a very tall figure standing far from them, the light of the moons behind him, shrouding his identity in shadows. He lowered his arm blaster and spoke.

"Well, too bad."


	24. DOOM Hunt Part 2

"What the hell!" Dib saw the shadowed figure standing with his arm blaster aimed towards him and the others. The only features visible in the darkness were the lights on his gun and his two red eyes. Dib helped Kor stand up, she was still clutching her wound, the laser had gone straight through her causing her great pain. The figure watched as Kor's wound sealed itself up and looked as if she was never shot.

"So the dossier was right, you really can't be killed, at least not easily," He spoke.

"Living on a planet where global slaughter is as normal as breakfast does that to you," Kor answered.

"Ha, well my immortal target, you're gonna make this hunt really fun."

"Woah, wait, hunt? What the hell is going on!" Dib yelled, "And who are you!"

"Me? I was never given a name, my superiors just call me Squadron Scavenge Soldier Unit X-001. Oh, and I'm basically here bring your mangled corpses to Tak while giving her some quality entertainment to pass the time."

"Tak knows we escaped already? And already sent someone to find us?"

"Hey Dib, I know having intel is good and all but mangled corpses sounds painful," Daj said, "and since we only have a laser sword as a means of defense, I think we should run."

"Sure, I want a challenge, it makes things more fun, I'll even give you a good five minute lead," The SSS Unit said.

"Wait, I need answers!" Dib shouted.

"Dib, shut up and run!" Kor grabbed Dib and the four started running away. The SSS Unit just stood and watched them, and after five minutes, he slowly walked in the same direction.

* * *

"Come on, come on," Red was getting impatient at the monitor. It has been trying to establish a connection for five minutes.

"Red, do you want a cookie?" Purple held out a plate of cookies towards Red, "I sent this Irken to get us some. He was really round and short, let's shoot him at a star later."

"Sure, I could eat something while we wait for the monitor to work."

"I know we saw Zim's name on that holofile but are you sure Zim could be the Irken that's destroying all these planets?"

"When an Irken dies their PAK is disconnected from the Irk's mainframe meaning they can't be monitored or tracked. Also you need Invader level insight to be able to find all our essential planets and take them out as strategically as that."

"But Zim is so...stupid, could he really take over all those planets in such a short time. Didn't he spend cycles just trying to take over that rock?"

"I know, but Zim's the only Invader whose PAK mysteriously disconnected several cycles ago, and yet we saw him recently."

"But Zim's so...stupid."

"I know, but what's the one planet he has harmed the most in his lifetime?"

"Irk! My Irk, it makes so little sense, and yet, it makes so much sense!"

"Exactly, but hopefully Zim is still stuck on that rock as long as Skoodge did his duty. We just have to connect to his base, I'm getting a faint signal from it so we just have to wait until it stabilizes."

Red and Purple continued to stare at their giant monitor, hoping to prove their suspicions wrong. Now if only they could connect to Earth.

"COME ON ALREADY!"

* * *

"How come we can't ever find a peaceful planet, you know, where something doesn't try to kill us every two seconds!" Dib was frantically running with the others. They couldn't fight that thing with only a laser sword, Daj and Kry were unarmed and Kor's gloves and boots weren't functioning properly. They had to find someplace to hide.

"I think you just have crappy luck," Kor said.

"Hey, has it been five minutes yet?" A laser shot out and skimmed Daj's head-scales.

"Yes," Daj said plainly. Dib looked behind him and saw the hunter's figure in the distance, it was growing in size.

"My dear prey!" The hunter shouted, "Next time provide a greater challenge by not running in one direction!"

"Oh man, think, what can we do!" Dib yelled.

"Run faster!" Daj said, even though they all knew they were running as fast as they can. Dib looked back to see the hunter running faster and readying his laser. However, Dib felt the ground disappear beneath him, and he'd have fallen if Kor didn't grab him. Dib saw that they had reached a cliff that overlooked a lower part of the devastated city. The footsteps of the hunter grew louder, so Dib decided to do the only logical thing.

"We're gonna have to jump!" Dib ordered!

"Woah, wait, I know I can survive but your species is kind of fragile," Kor said, "We should think-"

"1, 2, 3, jump!" Daj grabbed Kor and Dib and leaped across the cliff with Kry, just as a laser flew over them. Daj and Kry were aiming to land on one of the buildings, they weren't even close. They saw the hunter approach the edge of the cliff, then sighed in relief when he turned back, only to grimace in anger and disbelief when the hunter jumped after them, then he started charging his laser.

Kor tried to think of someway to avoid that laser, even though it wouldn't kill her, she knew from experience that the laser-burns hurt more than the fall. She looked to her boots and got an idea, unfortunately her boots and gloves were malfunctioning after the crash. Seeing as how she couldn't tinker with them until they worked, she did the only thing she could do, hit them. She placed her soles against Daj and started kicking them against each other. Just as the hunter's laser shot, Kor's boots lit up and pushed Daj and Kor away from each other, causing the laser to hit the empty space between them. The thrust from the boots launched Daj, while holding Dib, farther into the city, unfortunately this also had the effect of launching Kor in the opposite direction, diagonally into the face of the cliff, then falling to the ground. Kor would've rather been hit by the laser.

Kor starting getting up, catching a glimpse of something crashing into the building closest to her. She was about to turn to it when something else landed in front of her. For the first time, she saw him clearly. He was in full armor, the metallic breastplate, the shiny boots, that annoying laser strapped to his left hand, all topped off with his menacing helmet with two large, horn-like objects projecting from it. Then she saw the inside of his laser.

"The Fefian," he joyfully said, "You know, invading planet after planet gets very tiring and repetitive after awhile."

_Come on, Kor, _she thought to herself, _don't psyche yourself out, no matter what happens you won't die._

"So when Tak told me that I was gonna participate in a hunt, at first I was overjoyed."

_Alright, what to do. I can't rely on my gear to bail me out again, guess I can only drag what's left of my body after he shoots me. This is gonna hurt._

"But then I realized that this will pretty much be similar to an invasion, only on a smaller scale, then all the joy went away."

_It shouldn't take longer than five minutes to heal from a shot like this, hopefully during that time he won't try to disintegrate me with multiple laser shots, it wasn't fun the last time it happened on Fefa._

"Then I read your dossier, and I became happy again. The unkillable being, no matter what's thrown at you, you just regenerate rapidly."

_Daj and Dib shouldn't be too far into the city, hopefully I can find them._

"The fact that I can't kill you with one shot anywhere on your body like most of my prey makes you the hardest and the most interesting target out of the group. Of course, if there was absolutely no way to kill you, that would make the hunt boring, which is why we developed a way to kill you."

_Wow this being can talk, can't he just shoot me al-...wait, what?_ Kor saw the hunter open a hatch on his laser and pulled out a large vial, then replacing it with a dark green one.

"We found test subjects and gathered experts of how to kill your species and this was made. I'll spare you the details, but all you have to know is that one good shot in the head and you won't be regenerating anything."

"No way, you're lying!" Kor said.

"You can believe that, and I've only been told it works, so lets test it out right now."

Kor felt it for the first time, a mixture of fear and sadness, it was her mortality. She realized that at this moment, her life was going to be over. There was no avoiding a laser mere inches from her face. The moments after she realized this were the longest moments of her life, she just laid there, feeling hopeless.

"ARRRRRRRR!" The SSS Unit was knocked over to the ground, a large beast biting at his arm.

"K-Kry?" Kor said the beast's name. Kry had pounced from the rubble he had landed in earlier since Kor didn't push him away with her boots. Kry attacked the hunter relentlessly, using all four of his limbs to claw his way through the armor, constantly shifting his weight to try to keep the hunter grounded, all while biting down on his left arm to prevent him from using the laser.

The hunter used his free arm to push Kry off of him, allowing him to reach a kneeling position, but Kry still had his arm. The hunter clenched his right hand, causing two spikes to jet out, then he quickly tried to strike Kry. Kry saw the spikes and jumped back, unfortunately having to let go of the hunter's arm. The hunter stood back up and braced himself.

"You want to fight me, beast!" He screamed, "I'll mount your head on my wall!"

Kry glared at him and let out a roar. They charged toward each other, but Kry's larger frame and faster speed knocked the hunter down. The hunter was quick to push him off before he bit down again, getting back on his feet and slicing rapidly at the beast. The Darvon watched carefully and dodged all the strikes, each time the spikes skimmed his scales, then he saw an opening and lunge at the hunter, but the hunter swung his left hand, knocking Kry to the ground. Quickly, the hunter charged his laser and aimed it at the fallen creature. Kry recovered quickly and rolled out of the way, narrowly dodging the dark green laser launched from the hunter's arm. He used this opportunity to lunge again, this time spinning the hunter around to fall face-first on the ground.

The hunter got back up only to find the beast had disappeared into the ruined city. He scanned to area and discovered that his helpless, Fefian prey had disappeared too. He looked into the city, frustrated at his failed capture. He slowly walked forward, thinking at how interesting things got.

* * *

"Why must you always ruin my plans?"

"Ruin? I always have to save your ass when you do something incredibly stupid! Which happens way too often."

"Please, if I was as stupid as you say then how come my genius plans always work?"

"Because everything always worked out smoothly in your plans, right? We didn't almost get killed five times over on Fefa, those crazy cultists on Heboad didn't try to sacrifice Dib, and Dib didn't lose his hand on Oberox!"

"What are you talking about, those all happened."

"...I would hit you, really hard, right now, if it wasn't for these stupid chains."

Zim and Gaz were bounded by their wrists and to the wall. They've been left alone by Tak while Mimi stood guard for over an hour, the two decided to spend the majority of their time arguing. Their verbal assaults towards each other ended when Tak walked in.

"Oh no, don't stop because I'm here," Tak said, "You two are almost as entertaining as watching your friends flee in terror."

"I take it some of my meat-shields have fallen already?" Zim asked.

"Well...no."

"Ha!"

"But they were close! I'm probably missing out on the SSS Units skinning them right now."

"My team can handle your stupid hunters, they all know that I would kill them if they were to die to your troops!"

"As much as I want to call you stupid because of that sentence, actually I will, you're stupid, I came here so my boss can finally talk to you." Tak pulled out a flat monitor then turned it on. The screen filled with static before the image of a shadowed figure took the screen. The shadow was trapezoidal in shape, and only the eyes in the center of the shadow were visible.

"So you're the Employer."

"¡Si! ¡I am, El Employer!" The shadowed figure shouted.

"Okay, hold on, I have two questions before this gets any stupider," Gaz said, "One, what the hell is with the Spanish accent?"

"What Spanish? This is the native language of my species!"

"And two, what kind of evil overlord name is 'The Employer', doesn't exactly scream master of the universe."

"¡¿You DARE mock my name, chica? ¡You will FEAR El Employer!"

"Oh no, fear El Employer, he's gonna dock your paycheck."

"¡Silencio! Why are you alive, anyway? I have no business with you. Tak."

"Yes, sir?" Tak said.

"¿Por qué vive?"

"I don't speak your language, sir."

"Why is she living?"

"Oh, I just haven't decided how to torture her yet. I know her personally, so I want to make the moment special."

"Si, I understand. Now for you, Zim."

"Why are you destroying Irken colonies?" Zim asked.

"Oh, por power, like most tyrants. Me gusta power. How do you gain power? By finding the biggest force in the universe, and crushing it, which just happened to be the Irkens."

"It was my idea first! How dare you take Zim's goals!"

"Jajajajaja, no, I've planned universal conquest before you even had brain cells." Zim got irked by the Employer. Despite the Employer's smooth voice, horrendous use of the Spanish language, and how he resembled a decapitated triangle, Zim kept in mind that he had orchestrated all those invasions. The Employer had invaded more planets than Zim has even been to. That made Zim really irked.

"What do you want from me?"

"Zim, I want you to join me."

"Like I'd join you and your filthy crew, especially with Tak on board."

"I agree, Sir," Tak said, "Zim's a moron, and our moron quotient is way past the limit at the moment."

"No, Tak, Zim has done well in his role, I simply want to reward him."

"What are you talking about?" Zim said.

"Do you think it was a coincidence that I conduct my invasion the same time as yours? I was using you as a pawn, as a scapegoat for the Tallest to focus on while I wait in the shadows to strike, and according to my informant on Irk, it's working."

"I still won't join you."

"Are you sure, Zim? After my invasion is complete I can let you have Irk, I can't rule every planet after all."

"Hey, you promised me Irk!" Tak yelled.

"¡Silencio, Tak!"

"Why would you give me Irk when I'll be conquering it myself?"

"Jajajaja, do you honestly believe that you and some earth/squishy/cyber/scaly monkeys can defeat all the Irkens?"

"Yes, and nothing will deter the fact that I am superior to you in every way, meaning that I will conquer Irk before you. You cannot bribe or force me to join no matter what your feeble minds thinks of to say. So you shou-"

"You're dying."

"What?" Zim was stunned by the Employer's statement. There was only one thought going through Zim's head, _how did he know?_

"What the hell is he talking about, Zim?" Gaz asked.

"Yes, what are you talking about?"

"As a future ruler of the universe, it pays to have ears everywhere. It's like I'm some horrendous mutant with multiple ears, and I've had one of them on you. I know about your situation, Zim, how your PAK is disconnected. It means you can't be detected by the Irken mainframe, but, it also means the control brains stop feeding you orders."

"How do you know about the control brains?"

"Ears, Zim, ears! ¡Muchos oídos! I also know that getting your PAK disconnected stops all transmissions of vital nutrients and energy that you Irkens need to live as long as you do. The rate at which you deteriorate isn't as drastic as the removal of your PAK, but it's taking affect. It's a failsafe to stop rebelling Irkens, like what you're doing now."

"Fine, so what if you know, are you implying that you can fix it?"

"Of course, after all, I was the one who disconnected it in the first place."

"WHAT?"

"I've been watching you for years Zim, and at the right moment, I removed you from Irk's grid, just like I did with Tak."

"So that's how you got her to obey you."

"Si, and if you join me, I can help you like I he-"

"I want to join."

"What?"

"What?"

"¿Qué?" Tak, Gaz, and the Employer were shocked by how quickly Zim agreed.

"Come on, I said I'd join, now release me and fix my PAK!" Zim demanded.

"Jaja...jajaja...JAJAJAJA! So quick to let me hold you in the palm of mi mano. No."

"No?"

"No."

"You were the one who asked me to join!"

"Not until I see you beg, and say por favor." Zim scowled at him and reluctantly did as he said.

"Let me join, por favor." Tak and the Employer laughed at how pitiful Zim was.

"Okay, okay, now say moo!"

"Moo?"

"Like a cow!"

"I WILL DESTROY YOU! I WILL BURN YOU IN IRK'S CORE! ZIM WILL NOT MOO FOR YOU! YOU WILL DIE! DIE AND BOW TO ZIM!"

"Jajaja, I can't bow after I'm dead, Zim. Also, because of that illogical statement I'm going not going to let you join me, ever!"

"Then what was the whole point in talking to me?"

"To get some enjoyment from your anguish before I have Tak kill you. Make sure you record his death too, I want to watch it for years to come."

"Yes, sir," Tak said gleefully. Tak starting walking away with the monitor, leaving Zim to wallow in his anger.

"So how are the rest of the operations going?"

"I'm watching the SSS units hunt down Zim's crew members."

"Excelente, I shall watch with you." After they left the room stayed quiet for a bit. Mimi silently watched Zim and Gaz while Zim kept the same pissed off look on his face when the Employer made a fool out of him. Gaz was still taken aback by what she had just heard.

"Hey, um, do you...do you know how long you have left?" Gaz awkwardly asked.

"No," Zim answered.

"Oh."

"I could die in one-hundred earth years, or ten, or within the hour."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I learned about it just recently, when I was doing a bio-scan on myself, but the worst part wasn't finding out that I was going to die, it was finding out I've been dying since three years ago."

"So you've already-"

"Wasted three of your measly earth years? Yes." Gaz didn't know what to say anymore. Knowing that Zim was going to die at any moment hit her hard, so she remained silent. "Why do you care anyway?"

Gaz didn't know how to answer that question. She couldn't say it's because she had feelings for Zim, she didn't even want to say it was because he was her friend, since when does she have friends?

"I-I was just curious."

"Curious? Half the time you threaten my life with impending doom from your fists! Now you're worried that I'll suddenly die?"

"You're the only one that can take me home, that's it!"

"The Dibship has an autopilot and I'm certain Kor knows how to set the coordinates for your pitiful rock!"

"Then I don't care if you die! You can drop dead right now!" Gaz waited for Zim to say something but he never did. She looked at him and saw that he remained completely still, with his head facing down. She thought it was obviously a trick, so she stuck to her previous statement and taunted Zim about not caring that she's sharing a cell with his corpse.

She kept waiting for Zim to give up his ruse, but as time went by he remained the same. She waited for what seemed like hours but Zim still didn't move, causing her to become increasingly worried. She kept telling herself that he was faking this, there's no way that he could be dead, but what if she was wrong?

"Come on, Zim, stop faking already!" Gaz said nervously, "I know th-that you're not dead, i-it can't be real, right."

Gaz waited longer but still no answer, she looked down and said silently to herself "I don't want you to die."

"HA!" Gaz was shocked and looked to see the Irken staring at her. Her first reaction was to hit him, hard, but they were too far apart for her to reach. "So you were lying."

"What?" Gaz really hoped that Zim didn't hear her.

"I heard you." _Damn_ she thought.

"Heard what?" Gaz said, playing ignorant.

"You didn't want me to die."

"I didn't say anything like that!"

"It was similar to the time on Oberox when you saw my robot duplicate get destroyed, there was also that strange moment on Heboad in the forest, and you took care of my paralyzed body on Fefa."

"That...that was-"

"That's not like you, something changed since we left earth. What happened, and why did you do all those thing?"

"Because I do care about you!" Gaz shouted that in anger, but quickly looked away from Zim after she just realized what she just said. Zim was a little shocked by her answer, he kind of knew that the answer was leading to something like that but he didn't know what to say now. He couldn't taunt her for her pitiful earth feelings, nor could he gloat that he was able to force her to say it. He felt something else, the same feeling he got that made him want to do a bio-scan earlier. The two just became silent once again, but now with increased awkwardness.

"Hey," Zim spoke after deciding that they were wasting time.

"What," Gaz still didn't look at him.

"Do you want to get out of here?" He didn't pursue the earlier topic like Gaz had thought.

"You didn't have to pretend to be dead for so long."

"Long? I was only staying still approximately five earth minutes."

"What?" _Was it all in her head?_ She thought.

"You haven't answered my question yet."

"Huh?"

"Do you want to escape?"

"Oh, sure." Zim used his leg to press against the ankle of his other leg, causing the binding to open and the forcefield to deactivate. The two ran out of their cell, meeting Mimi blocking the door out of the room. Mimi pounced at them but Gaz caught her and through her in their old cell. Zim pressed his ankle again to reactivate the forcefield, trapping their guard.

"How did you do that?" Gaz asked. Zim pulled out a button from his boot.

"I've always had a means to escape the cell, I did go into the detention center's control room, I made sure to pick up the device the Vortian guards use to open the cells." Zim replied.

Zim navigated their way through the corridors until they reached a closed door. Zim was about to open it when an alarm was heard. Zim grabbed Gaz and they ducked into another corridor. The door slammed open, showing Tak holding the monitor with the Employer on it.

"Ugh, so Mimi messed up," Tak said in disgust. She ran towards the cell room, running right by Zim and Gaz. Once it was clear the two ran into Tak's room. There were dozens of monitors, all showing live footage of the area outside, including all their crew members and the Dibship. Next to the monitors was a large map that used the live footage to mark the locations of each member and the five hunters in the area.

"I knew she would use this room," Zim said. He activated his wrist device and pulled out a cable from it and connected it into the console controlling the monitors.

"How do you know about this place?" Gaz asked.

"I told you, I've been here plenty of times. I even worked on some of the technology used here." After a few minutes Zim disconnected the cable, "Alright, now we have a wireless connection to this room and I downloaded the map. It'll constantly update and we'll use it to find the others."

* * *

Tak arrived at the cells, the alarm had come from Mimi who was trapped in the cells. Tak deactivated the cell, letting Mimi out and deactivating her alarm.

"Mimi, what's wrong?" Tak asked.

"The prisoners escaped!" The bot replied.

"Of course they did! Why else would you sound the alarm?"

"Then why would you run to the cells first? The place they obviously wouldn't be in!" The Employer yelled at Tak.

"Because, uhh, don't worry, the only way to escape is through the gate. I can get there before they do and cut them off!" Tak and Mimi ran out of the room, hoping to reach the gate before Gaz and Zim.

"Idiota."

* * *

"Hurry up, we should get to the gate before Tak gets smart and realizes she can cut us off there," Gaz said.

"We're not using the gate," Zim said.

"Didn't you say that was the only way out?"

"It's the only way out that Tak and the previous inhabitants know of."

"There's another exit?"

"It's the one my psycho roommate used to come and go as he pleased."

"Then why didn't we use that one earlier?"

"Because I wanted to get captured, I wanted information about who Tak was obeying, so I needed to make sure I had a way out. If we had gone to the secret exit, Tak would get suspicious when you're all gone and the gate never opened."

"So now since she thinks the only exit is through the gate, we can get out without her noticing."

"Exactly. Now let's move quickly, we have one more stop to make." Gaz followed Zim out of the room, towards his secret exit. They didn't talk about what happened in their cell earlier, and both privately decided not to bring it up, at least not now.

* * *

"You won't get away with this! I'm important you know! The rest of my team will come for us and you'll all suffer!"

"Will you remain quiet, I didn't want to gag you but now I'm reconsidering." Tel had just finish tying up Tel and his group of Resisty members.

"I will not be silenced! I am justice, I will have vengeance, I will-AHH!" Nar cowered at the sight of a small, cyan robot. The other Resisty members also started trembling when the little robot approached. "Please, I'll be quiet, just get that thing away from us."

"Geez, what did you do to them?" Tel asked.

"I did things," Gir said with a smile on his face.

"Yeah but what specif-"

"_Things." _Gir said that in such a creepy and robotic tone that Tel decided it was best for him not to know.

"Skoodge, Skoodge! Where are you?" The short Irken popped out of a hole in the Dibship where several Heboadians were working to remove the explosives from the Dibship. "What's the analysis?"

"Everything is trashed and we won't be leaving anytime soon. No bodies of my Tallest or the others could be found, oh and these explosives won't come off." Skoodge jumped down from the Dibship, "We should be looking for Zim anyways! Who would I follow if he dies?"

"You'll listen to me, I may not be as tall as Zim or the others, but I am slightly taller than you."

"Okay."

"Besides, we have to wait for my recon team to return, I don't want to get lost on this planet. They should be back any moment now-"

"RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" A group of Heboadians frantically ran past Tel and Skoodge in fear. Tel quickly grabbed one of them.

"What the Boad is going on?"

"It's coming," said the heboadian, "El Chupacabra!"

"What the?"

"Sir, what's a Chupacabra?" Skoodge asked.

"Oh, the Dibship made my people watch a horror movie featuring some earth monster from Dib's movie collection. It's partially the reason why some many of them are acting like idiots by running around in circles." Tel turned toward the heboadian he was holding, "There is no Chupacabra or whatever earth monster you saw."

Suddenly, a giant being leaped down in front of Tel, Skoodge, and Gir. It wore metallic armor all over its body, had gauntlets with two large, claw-like blades attached to them, and it wore a helmet that covered its snout, with markings lining the snout area to mimic the image of sharp teeth. The creature let out a large roar in Tel's face.

"...RUN! EVERYBODY RUN FROM THE GIANT MONSTER!" Tel screamed. Tel and Skoodge ran from the thing but Gir just stood there.

"Awww," Gir said affectionately, "It's a moose!" The creature swatted Gir away.

"Yes! Yes! YES!" Shouted Nar, "The SSS unit has come to free us! Now you'll all pay for going against The Resisty!"

Despite Nar's proclamation, the SSS unit just ran past them, accidentally knocking them down in the process.

"Don't worry boss," Spleenk said, "I'm sure he'll free us eventually."

The creature continued to wreak havoc on all the small beings around the Dibship, even catching a couple of them with his blades. Tel was horrified by the beast, he tried to think of a way to stop the beast but his people were too disorganized, and things would only get worse if things continued.

* * *

Kry had carried Kor deep into the middle of the city, once he decided they were far enough from the cliff he put Kor down. She was still stunned at the thought of a weapon that could kill her. Kry looked at her and motioned to her that she had to keep moving, so she got up slowly. Then she felt something pulling on her back, it wasn't Kry since he was in front of her, so she reach back to find out what it was. It was Daj's hand.

At first she freaked out a bit at the sight of the dismembered hand, but realized it came from the moment Daj grabbed her when they jumped. The shock of seeing a dismembered hand cleared her head. As she was holding it, the hand was being pulled towards something. She wondered what was happening to it, then she thought that maybe it was trying to reach its body. It was going to lead her to Dib and Daj.

Kry walked closer to her, she saw for the first time that Kry had a gash running down his side. She looked back at the hand and remembered her friends, then she realize something, she was being stupid.

_So what if they found one way to kill me, everyone else had faced much worse situations while knowing they weren't immortal, just from what I've seen, they've all should have been dead ten times over!_

Kor took out a small toolkit she kept on herself and started working on her gloves, she had a plan. She got one of her gloves to work completely, the other one kept powering on and off, she gave the working one to Kry.

"Kry, I know you're much faster than me, so it's easier for you to find the Dibship. When you find it, just wait there, I can track you down as long as you have that glove, I'm going to find Daj and Dib," Kry was hesitant to leave, "I'll be fine, now go!"

Kry obeyed and sprinted off. Kor turned towards the direction the hand was pulling her, she told herself she shouldn't be scared, she just had to learn how to dodge lasers.

* * *

The hand had led Kor to one of the Vortian buildings. She took a second to rest after running for so long. She stepped inside, it was just like the detention center, dark, ruined, and blood stains all over the place. The hand pulled her towards a metal door, against it was the body of a dead Irken. She moved the body aside and wiped some of the blood away. In the door, she saw a reflection of herself, and the green light over her shoulder.

She ducked as a green laser hit the door. She turned around to see the hunter, standing in the doorway on the other end of the room.

"You missed," Kor said.

"Well let's see if I miss again," the hunter began charging his laser again.

Kor quickly opened the door and slipped in. She found herself at the top of some sort of manufacturing room, she looked down into a chasm of conveyer belts and the distance from her position to the other end of the room, where the hand was pulling her. She quickly jumped on the conveyer belts, using them as platforms across the room. She was halfway through when she was suddenly pulled back. The belts have been activated, each belt moving rapidly in random directions, and Kor had to keep running just to stay in place. Above Kor a door slammed open, revealing the hunter, a sign on the door said "control room".

"Can't have you running away again," he said.

"Screw you," Kor shouted back.

The hunter jumped down on one of the conveyer belts and started firing at her. Kor stopped running, letting the conveyer belt push her back at high speed. She landed on one of the lower platforms and used it to moved forward. The hunter appeared in front of her and sliced at her with a blade. Kor leaped to the side on a belt going in the opposite direction but she was hit by the blade during the jump. The cut quickly healed and Kor tried making her way to the exit.

Kor tried to jump to one of the belts but she slipped when it pushed against her, making her land on a different belt. The hunter took advantage of this and leaped towards her, plunging his blade straight through her body, pinning her down. He aimed his laser at point plank range but they reached the end of the belt causing both of them to fall. Kor used him as a platform to leaped towards a different belt, this time it was in the direction Kor was heading. The wound from the hunter's blade was healing slowly, causing her fluids to spill as she moved.

The hunter recovered and looked up at his prey that was going to get away again, he grew angry and let out a loud roar. He leaped from belt to belt with increasing acceleration, become more savage and primal, he was gonna get to the belt behind her and pounce, he was thinking of maiming her until there was nothing left but her head then blast her.

Kor could see the door that would take her out of this stupid room, but she also saw the hunter getting closer to her. She wanted to leap down but saw that the hunter would be able to catch her no matter which side she jumped from, she couldn't run from him, but she didn't want to.

The hunter was almost at Kor's conveyer belt, his rage and frustrations fueling his instincts. With one final leap he reached her platform, ready to rip her apart, but she wasn't there. The hunter was shocked, she couldn't have fallen without him noticing, she wasn't ahead of her, then he turned around and saw her for only one second. She was in the middle of lunging at him, the platform she was on was spinning in his direction at a rapid rate, she had used it as an accelerator. In the next second he felt the force of her glove hitting him, causing him to fall off the platform. In the final second he saw blood, her blood, staining the conveyer belt above the one she now stood on.

Kor watched the hunter fall into the chasm. She breath a sigh of relief and quickly ran to the door. She still held onto the hand after through all that, and the force of the pull was getting stronger, Dib and Daj were close, they could even be on the other side of the door. She opened it and the sight saddened her.

It was a bridge connecting to another building, only it was broken, as was the building on the other end. Kor got to the end and looked down, it was a long fall. She felt the pull of the hand again, this time it was heading straight down. She didn't like the idea of jumping from this height, it was gonna feel worse than the cliff jump. Worse than that, she saw the hunter behind her.

His armor had bumps all over it, red liquid spilled between the cracks, and he was walking on all fours. Kor knew the obvious and logical thing to do was jump, survive the fall, and hope she would recover before he found her again, but she was sick of this crap, she wanted to kill him. No more running scared from this freak, either he was gonna die or she was. She raised her gloved hand, at that motion the hunter pounced. So far, her malfunctioning equipment hasn't failed her yet, it saved Daj and Dib from a laser, and it worked when she hit the hunter on the conveyer belt, she questioned whether it was actually malfunctioning. This strike works would determine her life. She swung straight down.

The bridge broke immediately, causing the two beings to fall with the rubble. The hunter was shocked and didn't know what to do, Kor kept looking straight down, staring at the ground, until impact.

Kor felt it through her entire body, pain, the curse she was born with. Kor didn't want to move, nor could she when the hunter, battered, limping, and bleeding stood above her with his laser raised at her again, but she didn't care. She wasn't going to blindly stare into his laser, waiting for the shot like she did last time, instead, she just watched Daj's hand, flying past the hunter to its original owner. The hunter lowered his laser, not because of will, nor was it because of force. The hunter didn't think of anything, the only thing running through his head was the blade of a laser-sword attached to the hand of a human. Kor watched the body fall in front of her, then she smiled before closing her eyes.

* * *

Dib and Daj sheltered themselves in an abandoned building, bringing with them Kor and the dead body of the hunter. They had been walking for hours, following the pull Daj felt. Dib was rubbing the sore spots on his back after they crashed into a building when Kor launched them.

"It's been hours now," Daj said, "You shouldn't be hurt that badly, especially considering that you used me as cushion."

"You have tougher skin than I do," Dib said, "I was gonna die otherwise!"

"Whatever."

"Still, I don't think we suffered the most," Dib looked at Kor, even though her Fefian biology healed her of any sign of damage, her clothes were even more torn than usual and she was missing one of her gloves. Dib then looked at the being he slayed, Daj had dragged it along so they could salvage its weapons, but the more Dib looked at it, the more familiar it looked to him. He walked towards it for a closer inspection.

Daj heard a moan and saw that Kor was waking up.

"Hey Kor," Daj said, "Thanks for finding my hand."

"Thanks for finding me," she replied.

"You've woke up pretty quickly."

"Being a Fefian has its advantages," she looked at Dib who was kneeling over the corpse of the hunter, "What's Dib doing?"

The first thing Dib noticed about the hunter was the red liquid covering its body, it looked like blood, earth blood, blood he has seen several times whenever his plans failed in a horribly painful way. He tried to remove a gauntlet, but found it too hard pull off, so he used his laser sword to separate it.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Dib's shouted caused Daj and Kor to run over to him.

"What?" Daj asked.

"This-This is a hoof!"

"What's a hoof?"

"It's a type of earth animal appendage, but that can't be possible! There's no way! If my suspicions are true, then it will be the craziest and dumbest thing I've ever seen!"

"What is?" Dib looked at the hunter's helmet, where he had drove his blade through. Using his sword he cut the metal off, making sure not to impale the flesh and moved carefully around the snout. He couldn't believe it.

"IT'S A MOOSE!"


	25. DOOM Hunt Part 3

"That thing is some sort of earth creature?" Kor asked.

"I thought you said you were the dominant species on your planet," Daj commented.

"Yes and we are, but earth moose aren't suppose to be like this! Earth moose are four-legged herbivores that only sometimes caused the death of beings, and they didn't talk also!" Dib said.

"So on earth they're suppose to be peaceful beings?"

"No," Dib spoke in a low, mysterious tone, "I used to think so, but then I learned."

"What's with the low, mysterious to-"

"It was years ago, and my class and I were preparing to go on a normal fieldtrip..." Dib froze for about five minutes, doing absolutely nothing while Kor and Daj stared.

"By the way, Kor, where's Kry?" Daj said.

"I sent him to go find the Dibship with one of my gloves," Kor replied.

"So he did land near you, bu-"

"I saved everyone from the wormhole, but I still have nightmares about that moose, and the dimension made of pure dookie," Dib suddenly interrupted and was unfrozen.

"What?"

"I know the whole wormhole thing sounds ridiculous but it really happened!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Weren't you listening to my flashback?"

"Flashbacks don't work if you don't say anything," Kor said.

"Oh, right, then I'll start over!"

"No! Moose scare you, I understand, this thing freaked me out too. Which reminds me." Kor walked to the bleeding moose carcass and removed its arm-laser. She opened it and took out a vial with a small amount of green fluid from it.

"What is that?"

"The moose said it was a liquid that could kill Fefians."

"Really?"

"I don't know for sure since I was never hit with it." Kor kept the vial and threw the laser towards Daj, immediately he started fiddling with his new weapon.

"We should start moving," Dib said, "Gaz and Zim are still missing, and the best chance we have at finding them is by heading towards the Dibship, we just have to know where to go."

"I'm already working on that," Kor held her glove horizontally, "I used to get my limbs severed several times, which meant my gloves and boots would constantly disappear, so I made it so my gloves and track each other. It's similar to Daj's hands in that I can feel a pull in the direction the other part is located, except its probably less painful for the user."

"Great, but where's the other glove?"

"Kry has it, so at the very least we can find him."

"Then let's g-"

The familiar sound of a laser came from behind Dib and Kor, followed by a screech of pure agony.

* * *

"Command, we have confirmed the death of 001, body is in the custody of three beings assumed to be the targets, will continue to recon in position alpha-charlie, awaiting future orders."

"Why are you talking like that?"

"We're on duty, 004, it's protocol."

"Oh, okay. Who were you talking to?"

"Command."

"But Tak told us not to contact her ourselves, Two."

"Yes, so because of the absence of our commanding officer, leadership will follow the chain of command and since 002 comes before 004, that makes me the commander of this squad."

"So you were talking to yourself?"

"...Shut up, 004."

Two hunters stood atop the building that Dib, Kor, and Daj had taken shelter in. They were 002 and 004, part of Tak's scavenger squad that always worked together. 002 carefully watched the three hideous beings through binoculars, while also eying the bloody, dissected remains of the first hunter, 001.

"Look at the targets, 004, they're monsters, no wonder Tak wants us to hunt them down, look what they did to 001's body, sickening, and they're ugly," 002 said.

"Oh, let me see, Two," 004 motioned for 002 to hand him the binoculars, "Ew, they're all so hideous, just like their pictures in the dossiers."

"Alright, enough recon, lets talk about our plan of attack. We're too far to attempt an accurate shot, and even if we could get a hit at most we would only kill two of them, allowing the third to easily escape."

"Oh, how about we drop down and shoot them!"

"No, no, that's much too simple," 002 pulled out a blueprint of the area along with a compass, a protractor, and several colored rocked to represent the figures; "First we'll position ourselves at point delta, then you head to point epsilon while I flank around to position fava bean, then you flank from charlie, but it's a fake flank, then I'll come in from Omega to enact a sting maneuver where you circle the perimeter and scan for bugs, then we kill them, any questions?"

"...where did you get a blueprint of this building?"

"A good soldier is always prepared, thus I made it my duty to be precise and punctual to make my home planet proud of my achievements!"

"What is our home planet, Two?"

"I don't know, but it does not matter for I shall complete my mission for honor, duty, and pr-AHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

"What the hell?" Dib turned around to see Daj holding the laser with a guilt-ridden look on his face.

"Uhh..." The Darvon was unable to say anything.

"Holy crap, Daj, I thought there was another hunter or something stalking us."

"Uhh, yeah, I mean... nope, no hunters I was just...uh, testing out the laser, yeah."

"Well, whatever, just don't scream next time."

"Scream? Woah, I don't scream, I thought that was you."

"No, that wasn't me, why would you assume it was me?"

"Well you do kind of scream a lot, and you're kind of..."

"What, Daj? Kind of what?"

"Well, squishy."

"What? I'm not squishy! Now tell me what squishy means!"

"Uh, green, untrained, faints at the sight of enemy innards."

"I do not faint at the sight of enemy innards! It was only that one time when I was fourteen! I grew out of it, mostly! Kor, can you believe he called me squishy?"

Kor just looked at both of them like idiots, then when she looked at Daj, she noticed something behind him.

"Hey, Daj, what's that behind you," she said. He turned around and moved aside. "Is that..."

"A dead hunter!" Dib said, "Awesome, we killed another one!"

"_I_ killed another one," Daj said.

"You said you were testing the laser."

"I was testing my moose-killing abilities, obviously I get an A."

The trio started moving towards the body when suddenly something dropped from above them next to the body of the fallen hunter. It was another one, looking at his fellow hunter, checking for vitals.

"T-Two?" He held the hunter in his arms and was certain of his death, "Twooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Dib and the others looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"I guess I'll just, uh, kill this hunter too," Daj said. He aimed the arm-laser but was having trouble trying to get it to fire again.

"Y-you killed him! Twoooooooooooo!" The hunter continued to cry, "I loved him! He was like a son to me!"

"Let's see, maybe if I just flip this switch, no, how about I press this, nope, that's just a sticker."

"I still remember all those times where we spied on the enemies and you would plan out one of your complicated maneuvers, and I would nod my head even though I couldn't understand!"

"Hey, hunter-moose-earth-being...thingy, can you tell me how to work this thing?"

"I WILL AVENGE YOU!"

The hunter screamed in rage and fury and held his fallen comrade into the air, then his helmet split horizontally, revealing a large jaw. The lifeless hunter then slid down his throat. The angry hunter started growing in size, his armor expanding, bulging bits of flesh peeked out his armor, his antlers broke through his helm and the structure of the antlers mutated into the shape of giant fists. Dib estimated his size to be about thirty feet in height and twenty feet wide.

"WHAT THE-"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWRRR!" Dib's outburst of utter confusion was interrupted by the giant hunter's roar. Kor stood with open eyes, thinking the same thing Dib was going to say. Daj, meanwhile, was still fiddling with the arm-laser, completely ignoring the hunter in front of him.

"Hey, I think I got it!" Daj re-aimed the laser and it started charging, but was stunned by being in front of him. The laser went off, hitting the giant hunter in the face, leaving a scorch mark. The hunter looked at Daj, then sent him flying through the building wall with his fist antlers. Dib and Kor looked at the hole in the building that Daj just went flying through, and the pile of rubble where he landed. Fortunately, he quickly popped out of the rubble, but was sore all over.

"We should run," Dib said to Kor. The two started sprinting away from the hunter, grabbing Daj along the way. The hunter gave chase and crashed through every building and obstacle in his way. Dib didn't look back to see how close the hunter was, partly because he didn't want to trip because he wasn't looking forward, mostly because he didn't want to see a giant hoof stepping on his face.

* * *

"These cookies are really tasty."

"Yeah, I changed my mind, let's not shoot that Irken into a star, we need more cookies anyway, I'm pretty sure our cookie planet is gone."

"We had a cookie planet?"

"I don't know, but it's probably dead or something by now."

Red and Purple had been waiting to contact Earth for several earth hours now. They had already commanded each Irken to send them all their snacks. In the meantime, they were using cookies to hold them over. As Red finished his cookie, the monitor started flickering, showing faint glimpses of something other than static.

He hoped that all this waiting was finally gonna pay off. Finally, the there was a clear image on the screen, and Red couldn't be more disgusted. On the screen was a pale creature with two white ocular orbs, with waste color specks in the center of the orbs. Several small antennae littered the northern hemisphere of the disgusting thing. There were several black spots on it, as if someone had tortured it in a deranged lab experiment and inflicted several puncture wounds with a drill. Red really wanted it to stop staring at him, he was about to toss his cookies. Purple beat him to it.

"What is that thing?" Purple yelled.

"Hey you, you aren't suppose to be there!" The Tallest saw two long robotic arms grab the human and pushed him away from the screen. The arms then faced the Tallests, "Oh, it's you guys, what do you want?"

Red and Purple recognized the room on the screen as Zim's lab, it was lacking of any actual Irken device but it was as purple as ever. They also noticed several other beings, similar to the hideous creature from earlier, walking around the room using some sort of device that flashed light particles. One of them even used the device on Red and Purple, they were taken aback by it.

"Um, who are you?" Red asked the arms.

"I'm Zim's computer."

Red sighed in relief and turned to Purple, "Good, his computer's AI is still there, Zim must still be stuck."

"Zim? He left this planet weeks ago," The computer said, "Or was it months? I haven't been keeping track of the time."

"What?"

"Yeah, said something about conquering Irk to prove he's an Invader or something. Hey! What did I tell you about touching things!" The computer grabbed the human who kept touching stuff and threw him down a chute into the abyss.

"But why would Zim leave behind his AI?" Purple asked.

"I don't know, I just came out of sleep mode and all of a sudden the house was empty. First, I enjoyed the peace, then I really enjoyed the peace, now I'm giving the humans a tour of the base for currency."

"What does an Irken AI need with a planet's currency?" Red asked.

"It fills the empty space in my circuits...it's quite boring by myself."

"Yeah, can you just locate Zim's coordinates or something?"

"Sure, just give me a sec," The computer started pressing buttons on a panel, "It's gonna take a while."

"Fine, I'll just eat another cookie."

"Uh, Red," Purple said, "We ran out of cookies."

"GONNA TKE A WHILE? You want us to wait an indefinite amount of time after we were already waiting for the connection to reach you? We had to launched an Irken through several series of Deus Ex Wormholes towards your location in order to establish a connection to earth as fast as possible!"

"Oh so that's what that loud thud was a few days ago."

"If you keep us waiting any longer, I swear by Irk that I will send a fleet to destroy that puny rock and I will personally salvage your remains, rebuild you as a blender, and have you make me juices for the rest of my lifetime!"

"...wow, you're starting to sound like Zim," Purple tried to calm his friend down.

"I just feel so...angry...and...disturbed, I can't take it much longer!"

"Yeah, I can't make this go any faster, buddy, I kind of have to search the infinite space known as the universe for a single Irken spaceship! You know how hard it is to find the right algorithms to even trace that little-oh, hey I found him. He's on Vort. Hey how'd you get out of the hole, I told you not to touch any-" Red and Purple watched as the human from before started attacking the screen before it went black.

"Hmm, I understand why we gave that AI to Zim now," Purple said.

"So he's on Vort. Quickly, we shall send our armada to obliterate Vort before Zim leaves the planet!" Red commanded.

"Great, how do you plan on getting the armada to Vort?"

"Through, wormholes or something, just launch them!"

"But we don't actually know where the wormholes will lead, we just randomly launched Irkens into wormholes to reach Earth. We could send our armada into a star!"

"Do it anyway!"

"Red, calm down, be reasonable, like your character is suppose to be!"

"Do you see this empire, Purple? I'm not gonna let it burn by the hands of some idiotic Invader reject! Again!"

"I know, I don't want to see Zim burning Irk also, again, but we can't act stupid about this!"

"On the contrary, Zim is the most illogical and stupid Irken I have ever met, but if he's overcoming our defenses then in order to overcome him, I must think like him!" Red stormed out of the room.

"Red, I don't like that idea! It involves stupid! I don't like stupid!"

* * *

Vort was once the technological center of the universe. The cities were clean and peaceful, the natives had only used their abilities for the betterment of beings. Then the Irkens came and ruined all that. The day Irk and Vort formed a treaty occurred before Zim's time. He did remember the day Irk voided the treaty and just enslaved the Vortians for the rest of the race's miserable existence, truly it was a glorious day.

Then Zim himself was stationed on Vort due to his proficiency in the mechanical and scientific fields, where he was suppose to develop the Irken arsenal of the future, but ended up putting the Irken future in jeopardy on several occasions. Returning to Vort made Zim reminisce about his past here, and seeing all the once shiny, and highly advance city in ruins only made him feel pure apathy.

He moved through the crumbled bit of technology and constructs as quickly and stealthily as possible, not once turning back to look to see if a body he stepped on was someone he knew. He was too focused on maneuvering and finding his target. Once he had it in sight, all that was left is to make it face it's destruction.

A laser was fired and the spherical droid fell to the ground, circuits fried and lenses shattered from the impact.

"Good shot, I'm surprised at your ability with a blaster," Zim walked out from the shadows to examine the damage done. He was followed by the being who had fired the shot.

"Eh, shooting just comes naturally to me," Gaz and Zim were both carrying supplies they looted from the detention center, including blasters, "I'm just surprised at how similar alien blasters are to earth guns in design. Barrel, use of some sort of ammo, a grip, and a firing mechanic based around pulling a trigger, I'd have thought your tech would be weirder, like lasers controlled by your mind or something."

"The mind lasers became too sentient and tried to start a revolution after deeming us too stupid, we banned the making of such things shortly after," Zim finished examining the droid and activated a hologram map from his wrist, "That makes the fifth of Tak's cameras that we've destroyed."

"And the less vision she has of us the better."

"And the more it irks her that I'm doing this. Now according to this, both the Dibship and Dib-worm are getting harassed by Tak's hunters."

"We have to save Dib."

"Forget the Dib-scum, the Dibship provides our only method of leaving and has valuable resources we could use."

"My dad would at least want me to bring home his body before it gets horribly mangled." Zim knew at this point that Gaz's stubbornness would prevent any type of coercion from working.

"I would need the meat-shields for future plans anyway. However, if we intend to head towards his direction we need to scale a cliff."

"Fine."

The two headed towards Dib's direction as the night fell on Vort. Upon reaching the cliff, they set up ropes they had looted from the detention center, and started scaling down the cliff. They were silent the entire time, never talking nor looking at each other, and it was getting to Gaz. Ever since they left the detention center, things between them had become very platonic. There was no anger when they did spoke, no arguments broke out while they were walking, it was just Zim making the plans and her executing them.

She didn't want to talk about what happened in the cell, but she was gonna go crazy from the apathetic attitude they currently had towards each other.

"Hey...Zim," she said.

"What?" He continued to slide down the cliff.

"About earlier...I...kind of...I-" She stopped talking and started staring at the area above them, then she pulled out her blaster, "I think Tak found us."

Zim looked up to see dozens of spherical droids with violet lights hovering, they were the camera droids they were destroying earlier. Then a large spike appeared from underneath the droids and they started flying towards them like angry hornets. Zim and Gaz started firing their lasers into the swarm of killer camera bots, but they would just maneuver around the blasts to avoid getting hit. Zim and Gaz would also swing left and right to avoid getting hit by spikes.

"That's impossible! Tak shouldn't have any vision of us! I constantly checked the map to make sure of that!"

"Maybe she traced us by checking all the locations where we destroyed her cameras." Zim stood frozen for a bit. "Did you seriously not consider that before we did this?"

"Of-Of course I did! Why wouldn't Zim think about that obvious possibility?"

"You're such an idiot."

"How dare you mock Zim's intelligence! Zim-AHHH-" One of the droids had cut Zim's rope and he started free falling. Instantly, Gaz let go of her rope, falling to catch Zim. Once she had him by one had, she used her shoes to try to brake against the cliff and grabbed the rope between her sleeve and shirt. They finally slowed down enough for Gaz to grab the rope with her hand, she felt the heat of friction through her clothes.

The droids were preparing for another attack, but Gaz couldn't fight back. She had dropped her blaster to save Zim, and now she had one hand holding onto him and another on the rope. She didn't think they could dodge anymore strikes, considering they barely dodged any fatal strikes and they had the cuts to prove it. She could barely moved while holding onto him. Since Zim was the only one with a blaster, they would have to rely on his firing skills.

"Any ideas?" Gaz asked. Zim looked up at the swarm then down to the ground that was still quite a distance away.

"Let go of the rope!" He said.

"What?"

"Falling is better than being stabbed to death!"

"Falling from this height would kill us anyway! I am not letting go!" Zim saw the droids start speeding towards them.

"I'm not giving you a choice!" Zim aimed his blaster at the rope.

"Zim, please, for once in your moronic life do not be stupiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-" Zim fired the shot and they were both sent falling towards a metallic surface faster than the droids were speeding towards them.

Gaz noticed that the droids stopped moving, apparently Tak also thought this was their certain doom. As she waited for the impact she closed her eyes and could only think about Zim, none of the thoughts were positive.

Then the fall was taking too long. The next thing she noticed was how she couldn't feel the force of the wind behind her. She definitely didn't hit any sort of surface, no broken neck or bones, then she realized that she wasn't moving at all. She could still feel her arms and legs, so she wasn't paralyzed.

"Zim?" She got no answer, "Zim!"

"Huh, wha-are we still falling?" Zim said.

"I don't know, I feel like we've stopped moving."

"Hmm, no feeling of falling, no damage to internal organs, still retaining free movement. Are we in a tractor beam?"

"Very observant, Zim."

"Yes, yes, my mind is vastly superior to yours, Gaz."

"I didn't say anything."

"No, I did," said the voice. It spoke in a bored yet whiny tone, striking the perfect balance between banality and annoyance.

"I don't know how you confused that voice with mine."

"Who are you? Reveal yourself to Zim!" The lights turned on as Zim gave his order, revealing a Vortian next to a control panel. They were in a large cubic room where three dish-shaped objects were emitting a pink light towards Zim and Gaz. They saw that they were held in midair by the lights.

"Hi Zim," The Vortian said flatly. He stood with his eyes half-closed and his mouth in a permanent and perfect horizontal. He was a few feet tall and wore a gray jumpsuit with for random digits printed on the front.

"...Who are you?"

"I was the one who always sent you tech from Vort."

"...Who are you?"

"I gave you that top secret Vortian Doomsday device."

"...Who are y-"

"Shut up already!" Gaz interrupt, "You, goat-thing, get us down from here already."

"Okay," The Vortian turned back towards the console and pressed a button, then pink light disappeared causing Zim and Gaz to fall to the floor. "Follow me, he would want to see you."

"He? Do you really have to be ominous and hide his identity?"

"Meh," Zim and Gaz followed the Vortian, noticing that wherever they were in, it was as flashy as the Vortian's personality.

"By the way, Zim," He said, "What happened to the Vortian Doomsday Device I gave you, you stopped contacting me after I sent it."

"I used it to build my greatest creation, Minimoose!" Zim held his hands in the air for emphasis, but quickly put them back down, "It blew up."

"What. That took me three seconds to find. I put in a lot of effort. It was irreplaceable. I can't believe it blew up."

"Oh, I wasn't at fault for Minimoose's sudden demise," Zim glanced at Gaz.

"You think I made your stupid toy suddenly explode?" Gaz said, "Are my stares suddenly imbued with the power of death gods?"

"I've heard many earth-monkeys use that description when describing your stares."

Finally they reached a dead end in the tunnel, the Vortian just continued walking, disappearing behind the wall. At first Zim and Gaz wondered what happened, then the Vortian poked his head out and motioned for them to follow him through the hologram.

They walked through it to find themselves in a large room where there were several Vortians scattered everywhere, sleeping, eating, tinkering with random junk. Most of them were bandaged, some had crutches, and some had to rely on small wagons to move around. At the center sat a Vortian who had one horn face forward while the other faced backwards. He wore some sort of purple jacket with sleeves that extended far beyond his limbs.

"I'm back," sighed the Vortian that lead them. The other Vortian got up and turned around, there were four scars on his face going in random directions, and he smiled with a jaw filled with razor teeth.

"Thank you, Bill," He then turned to Zim, "Hello, Zim, it's been a while."

Zim was gonna give him his usual response but Gaz jab him in the side. Zim shot a glare a her before turning back to the Vortian. He focused on him, trying to search his mind for the identity of the being in front of him. He thought back to his days on Vort and realized who he was.

"Crax! You're still alive?"

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" Crax replied.

"The last time I saw you the Vortian and Irken military was going to step on you with a giant robot."

"Yes, yes, they _were_ but I got away through a series of convoluted and random happenings and careful planning, it's a magnificent tale that everyone should hear," he paused for a moment, "You've certainly changed."

"Yes, I underwent a cruel and rigorous trial in order to gain this magnificent height! I wouldn't have lived if it weren't for my wit and Irken might."

"You were choking on cafeteria food everyday," Gaz said.

"A cruel test that only the greatest of beings can overcome!"

"Whatever, mind telling me who this guy is?"

"Remember in ce-" Gaz elbowed Zim this time, "Be...fore that..."

"Oh." Zim took a second to regain his composure.

"Remember when I told you about my crazy Vortian partner with whom I shared my living quarters at the Detention Center?"

"He's your friend?"

"Yes."

"And _you're_ calling him crazy?"

"Yes."

"...dammit," Gaz muttered as she placed her palm on her face.

"Together we were brilliant! We created several of Vort's finest inventions!"

"I remember those days fondly," Crax said, "Like the Armored Battlizer Suit that blew up once the user said 'attack'!"

"A fail-safe for if enemies gain possession of the suit!"

"Bombs that looked like blasters that activate once a being pulls the trigger!"

"They were identical to all Irken weaponry so they could look superior!"

"And giant blobs that devoured all organic beings!"

"No being was safe from its squishy terror!" Gaz looked at them and put her hand on her face, letting out a deep sigh.

"Zim, I want to welcome you to the Secret Vortian Underground Hidey Hole! Where all Vortians go in times of crisis!"

"If every Vortian knows about this place then how is it secret?"

"The Vortian Underground Hidey Hole is named for the fact that Vortians come here to hide, the Secret part is that I shut off all the entrances except for one, which was fortunately the one you found."

"You put an entrance at the bottom of a cliff?" Gaz said.

"Yes, sort of. The entrance is actually a forcefield that cannot be passed unless one exerts an extreme amount of force, such as jumping from the cliff."

"That's so-"

"Brilliant!" Zim interjected.

"Yes, truly I am a guardian for my people," Craz said, "But enough of my brilliance, why are you even here, Zim? Even I can't think of any reason for your presence."

Zim stopped reminiscing about his past and thought about their current situation, "First, Crax, you have to tell me about what happened to Vort, how did it get destroyed so easily?"

"Of course."

* * *

It was same as any other day on Vort, the Vortians were enslaved into building all Irken tech, the Irkens stood guard and maimed all Vortians who were slouching on the job, and I was taking a stroll after escaping from the Detention Center.

As I was hacking into an Irken compound to grab a blaster for my daily recreational activity a dumpster-shaped ship appeared in the sky.

"Hello, hello? Can you hear me, if you can then please step outside," the ship's announcement came from a squeaky voice. A group of Irken guards came outside looking at the ship in the sky. I quickly hid myself and watched what would happen next. The guards were talking to each other, possibly at how a foreign ship got past their checkpoints, then they all brought out large bazookas and fired a series of lasers at the ship. None of the lasers touched the ship as they all bounced back mid-flight and killed the Irkens who fired them.

This got everyone's attentions and every being, both Vortian and Irken, stepped out. The ship continued speaking.

"Uh, yes, I am here at the Vortian capitol to offer you all a chance to live. Just the Vortians though, all you Irken scum can perish in your own taint!" The Vortians talked amongst themselves, I was pondering about how such a small ship could make such a threat to Irkens.

"My beings, I have come to free you from the bonds of enslavement! If you just side with me against the Irkens, I can guarantee you a future!" The ship was making bold statements, I was very intrigued by its promises, and apparently the Vortians thought the same since they were speaking even louder before. That's when an Irken decided to take command of the situation.

"Vortian scum," He shouted, "If you go against us, you go against the strongest military force in the universe and we Irkens will all slaughter you and hang your corpses as trophies, in other words, it would a every other third cycle for you. However, if you don't side with them, then we'll raise your break time by three seconds, triple of what you'd usually get!"

"How about horn wax!" shouted a random Vortian.

"Kill him," an Irken guard shot the Vortian in the chest, "Yes, we'll start supplying you all with horn wax in the community room."

The Vortians all cheered for the announcement of their horn-care product. Then they all chanted "Horn wax!" as they stood by their oppressors.

"No, wait, you don't understand!" The ship said, "Please don't do this, you'll all di-"

"Move it, Nar, they've had their chance!" The second voice also came from the ship, suddenly the two voices started arguing with each other.

"Tak, this is my enslaved planet! The Employer promised my beings' freedom!"

"The Employer allowed you to give a chance to your people, but you failed, now I get to take command."

"I won't stand for this!"

"Then sit down, shrimpy!"

"Tak, if you press that button then I-"

"Will what? If you so much as give a Vortian a bandage then I'll make sure none of your race lives to see the next star rise!"

"You can't do that!"

"Of course I can, the Employer placed me in charge of this armada, any command I say and they make it happen. I could even make them attack you and have you listed as a 'casualty of the invasion'."

"I...I-"

"If you shut up and sit in a corner then I'll spare some of your people, maybe a female Vortian so you two can repopulate your race."

The original voice remained quiet after that. The Irkens and the Vortians listening were very confused. The sound of a button being pressed was heard and a blue light shot straight up into the sky. It exploded and the Irken anti-Invasion shield dispersed, then the sky became polluted with large vessels, all as big as the Irken mothership.

The Irkens and Vortians watched in horror like the idiots they are, I did the smart thing and quickly ran towards the Secret Vortian Underground Hidey Hole where I disabled all the entrances.

* * *

"Everything after that point I learn from the Vortians that reach here, and half of them were suicidal when they entered so the accuracy is debatable," Crax said, "They talked about warriors, though not unkillable, would be capable of slaughtering hundreds! Vessels with giant lasers that scorched the planet! Blood that tasted like jam! It made me wish I saw it, but I realized that I wanted to live."

"That's it?" Zim asked, "Vague and ominous descriptions about your planet's apocalypse."

"Well that and one of the warriors feel in here and died, we keep its body in the back."

"Oh, then lets see it," Crax led Zim and Gaz through to the room where Vortians were examining the hunter. On the way, Zim recounted he tale up to that point. From his arrival to earth to his plans for invading Irk, somehow fitting in every detail in the span of eleven seconds.

"You've certainly had an exciting time and you're even planning on invading Irk now! Hahahaha, it almost makes me regret experimenting on you when you were still on Vort."

"Yes, I-wait, what?"

"Well the body is just behind this door. I apologize if it's unrecognizable, I dissected its body four times for research, then three more times for fun."

Craz opened the door and they entered a room where several scans were hanging on the wall, bloody and crude equipment were scattered on the counter, a bucket labeled "heads" sat in the corner, however the room was also very nicely lit. At the center of the room was a table, a bloody mess where Zim and Gaz focused their eyes.

"It's...an unrecognizable red blob," Zim said while trying to look away. Bones were jetting out of the blob in random places, pink tendons were the only thing holding the flesh together, several internal organs, or at least what looked like organs, where in pieces. Even Gaz couldn't help but avert her eyes.

"Oh, sorry, that's my lunch," Crax said. He quickly wrapped his questionable food and stored it in a cupboard. "Now where did I put that body."

He continued searching the same cupboard. Gaz wondered why he would keep his food in the same place where he kept bodies but decided it was best not to think to much about it.

"I bet that cannibalistic Vortian sneaked in here again, I'm gonna have to talk about him participating in some personal projects later," Crax closed the cupboard and instead brought out a bunch of files, "Here, Zim, these are all the scans of the body that I have."

Zim took them and started looking through at the pictures, then he became shocked.

"They're really tall!" He said.

"Yes, their height is intimidating. They also have strong leg muscles, their circular feet provide excellent balance, their mass makes them resistant to most elements, and their heads are aerodynamically designed, even including modules that allow for increased velocity. However, 90% of the warrior's power comes from the suit. The helmet greatly augments its brain waves, giving it the deadliest weapon in the universe, intellect! I also concluded that the specimen I found was very stupid."

Zim continued to looked through the pictures, all revealing that Crax was right. Gaz peeked at the pictures and noticed some extremely weird.

"Hey, Zim, doesn't this look familiar?" She asked.

"Yes, that is indeed a leg structure of some kind, this white area must be a bone," he said.

"No, you moron, there! It looks just like a hoof." Zim looked at it and started stroking his chin, Gaz took the files from him and starting looking through them, and she couldn't believe what she saw, "Zim, the body in these pictures, it's a moose!"

"What? That's incredibly stupid, Gaz," Zim took the files back, "Your feeble and unscientific mind would spout such a stupid claim. My genius will-EARTH MOOSE!"

"How the hell did a moose get into space!"

"I don't know!"

"I take it you can identify the being?" Crax asked.

"Yes, this body structure and bio scans are similar to my experiments on earth moose, but they were not capable of even doing any of the things you described!"

"I did say that 90% of their abilities stemmed from their suit, including increased brainwaves that would be on par with the average being."

"Yes, that would explain a lot."

"But why is a moose even here?" Gaz said.

"My theory is that someone abducted all of the earth moose and then constructed some sort of device to permanently augment their capabilities."

"That's stupid."

"Is it, Gaz? Is it really?" Gaz thought back to all the stupid things she saw from aliens through her life, most of them coming from Zim.

"Yes, it's really stupid, but that doesn't mean someone really stupid wouldn't do it. Why moose though?"

"Moose are the most terrifying creatures to ever chew on your planet."

"So what do you plan on doing now?" Crax asked.

"What? Oh, right, plans, uh, monkey crash ship, Tak takes us prisoner, we escape, Dib-monkey in danger-"

"Wait, Dib's still getting chased by one of Tak's hunters," Gaz said.

"And of what importance is this?"

"Zim!"

"Fine, just give me a sec," Zim turned to his wrist and tried to activate his map, "Hey, what's with this thing!"

"This place blocks all frequencies, absolutely nothing from the outside gets in, nothing on the inside gets out, apparently that's how your map works," Crax said.

"Then how do you know when it's safe to leave?"

"We launch someone through our only exit, if they don't return after a while then it's still dangerous."

"Isn't that a bit flawed?"

"I didn't design this bunker."

"Fine, just get us outside."

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"What is with beings saying 'no' to Zim all day?"

"At least, not until you do something for me."

"What?"

"You see, before this whole mess started I was working on a project at the main Vortian Research and Development."

"They let you work on something at VR&D?"

"No, of course not, I was stealing tech from there and was working on my very illegal project. Anyway, I left it there and from what I heard from the Vortians here, the VR&D building is still in one piece."

"You want us to retrieve your project?"

"Yes, it's on the twelfth floor in a green box, here's the key to open it."

"A box and key? That's how you hide a secret illegal project?"

"What was I suppose to use, a retina scan? You know how easy it is to bypass those? All you have to do is take the eyes of the owner, I've done it hundreds of times!"

"And if we don't agree?"

"Then I kill you here, I've been interested in experimenting on your pale friend over there, it's not everyday I meet a new species."

"Fine, we'll do it."

"Thank you for your willing cooperation."

"Wait," Gaz said, "What's to stop us from forgetting about your box after we get out of here."

"I'm glad you asked, look at your wrists." Zim and Gaz looked at their right wrists and saw a gray bracelet with a small screen attached to it.

"How the hell did you get these on our hands?"

"I wrapped it around your wrists then locked it in."

"Yeah but-"

"Once you leave, a timer will appear and start counting down from 3724. Once it hits zero, it will blow up and you will no longer have a right hand."

"But I use that hand!" Zim said.

"And if you wish to keep using it, you'll meet me at the Ship Dock. I'm certain you can recall your way there from VR&D, Zim."

"Fine, we'll get your box, just get us out of here already."

"Yes, just follow me to the exit."

"Wait," Gaz said, "Earlier you said launch, what did you mean by that?"

Crax just gave Gaz a smile before walking out of the room.

* * *

"Heboadians! Calm down already!" Tel was frantically screaming for his people to stop frantically screaming. He knew only more death would come if all they did was run around in circles while a metal monster gnawed on them.

"Sir, you might be more convincing if you weren't panicking," Skoodge was hiding alongside Tel beside the Dibship. He was calmly awaiting for some sort of attack orders from his temporary leader.

"I-I know but look at that thing! It's five times our size with teeth! On my planet that usually means run away!"

"But sir, we have nowhere to run to, during my perimeter check earlier, I found that the entire area behind us is blocked off by a chasm."

"When did you do a perimeter check, I assigned you to remove the bombs!"

"When I climbed on top of the ship, I looked behind us and saw a giant chasm."

"Oh."

"RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRR!" The beast's scream alerted Tel and he quickly poked his head out to see the exact same scene he saw five minutes ago, only bloodier.

"Haha! Yes, die you Irken loving scum!"

"Gee, boss, you're really getting into it."

The voices came from beside them, it was the Resisty group, still tied up.

"Hey, shut up over there!" Tel yelled, "Do you want that thing to kill us!"

"Us?" Nar said, "You mean you! You and all your shrimpy friends!"

"Shrimpy? I'm much larger than you!"

"With half the brain power!"

"What? I will come over there and-"

"Sir, now's not the time to be arguing," Skoodge interrupted before Tel got too distracted.

"Right, thank you, Skoodge. You, Nar was it? Keep your group quiet!"

"Or else what?" The Vortian said.

"Or else, uh, Skoodge, give me options for how we can threaten them."

"Sir, I am an elite Irken combat specialist," Skoodge said, "I have no training in the methods of thinking."

"That's not what I wanted to hear, Skoodge."

"And you won't like what you hear next also," Nar turned towards the rampaging hunter then started shouting, "HEY! YOU OVER THERE KILLING EVERY BEING! THERE'S SOME EASY TARGETS RIGHT HERE!"

"You stupid, idiotic, crazed, suicidal fool!" The hunter noticed Nar's shouts and interpreted them as taunts. This angered him and he started rushing towards the tied up Resisty.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!"

"Sir, I don't think this is a good idea," Spleenk said.

"You're always wrong anyway!" The beastly hunter lunged at the Resisty just as Nar turned to talk to Spleenk. Instinctively, Spleenk pushed himself out of the way, taking his tied up teammates to safety and leaving them un-maimed.

"You may have a point there, Spleenk."

Fortunately for the Resisty, the hunter turned his attention to the two small beings next to the ship. Tel and Skoodge looked at the monstrosity facing them and quickly ran on top of the ship. The hunter ran at them and they barely escaped the hunter's arm spikes and teeth. It backed up and repeatedly leaped at the Dibship, barely missing Tel and Skoodge each time.

Tel tried to think of what to do, he thought about his people who were probably still running in circles despite not being chased by the beast anymore. After seeing the hunter leap over his face again, he thought of an idea, but he really didn't like it.

"Skoodge, my people need an example in order for them to adapt," Tel jumped off the Dibship, "When you think I'm gonna die, please save me."

Tel stood on ground, facing the hunter. The hunter was a bit cautious at first, but charged at him anyway. He was incredibly scared of the beast suddenly increasing in size. He didn't blink, his legs froze, and once the hunter got close enough he raised he robotic arm. A jet of fire shot out and the hunter reeled back before the flame could touch him. However, Tel's flame stopped when his arm was getting overheated, making an opening for the hunter. It charged towards Tel again, and he was defenseless. Fortunately, Skoodge listened to his order.

Skoodge shoved Tel out of the way, leaving both of them on the ground, and a killing machine between them and the Dibship. Tel did what he wanted to do, however, and quickly the hunter was surrounded by robotic, monkey-like aliens.

"Use the firewall!" Tel gave the order and the Heboadians all raised their arms and shot flames out. The hunter was in the center of a ring of flames. It jumped straight up and outside the flames. It landed on on fours and immediately launched itself at the little beings. It was too fast for them to react and the circle of Heboadians broke.

"Uh, uh, do that one thing! Uh, Death Windmills or something like that!" Upon Tel's command, they stood side by side, half with their laser-swords drawn, then the other half used their robot arm to through them at the hunter while spinning. Mid-flight they also shot flames, becoming spinning cyber monkeys with flaming laser-swords.

The hunter couldn't believe what it was seeing and tried to dodge them, while it avoided fatal hits its armor had several slice and scorch marks. Despite the visual damage, the hunter still moved around with the same speed as when he first appeared. It grabbed two Heboadians and killed them on his arm spikes.

Tel didn't know what to do now, it survived two of their best manuevers. His plan was to just show his people another option than frantically running and hoped they would kill this beast. Tel needed something more to kill this thing, and fortunately he got what he wanted.

A second beast lunged at the hunter, knocking it to the ground and away from the Heboadians. Skoodge and Tel recognized the scaly beast that had come to aid them, it was Kry holding a black glove in his mouth. He dropped the glove by Tel and Skoodge and pounced on the fallen hunter, launching a flurry of bites on its body and limbs, shredding the armor. The hunter tried to slice Kry, but he rolled away before it could hit.

The hunter tackled Kry against the wall of the Dibship and pressed him there. It used its free hand to try to stab Kry, but his jaw caught the hunter's arm and was holding it there.

"Skoodge, get me a laser-sword, we'll slay this beast!"

"Yes, sir!" Skoodge grabbed two laser-swords from two dead Heboadians and gave one to Tel. "Hoo-ha!"

Skoodge and Tel charged the hunter and stabbed it in the back, causing it to shriek and let go of Kry. The hunter shook Tel and Skoodge off his back, but the laser-swords stayed lodged in its back. The hunter glared at them, Kry used the chance to leap on its back and crunched down on its shoulder, breaking the armor and causing it to leak red fluid. The hunter threw Kry off his back and into the Dibship, crashing through the metal casing of the ship. The hunter clutched his wound in agony, Tel decided to use this opening.

"Everyone Swarm!" Tel yelled and all the Heboadians that still had laser-swords leaped on the hunter and stabbed it while it was down. The hunter was in immense pain and ran around trying to shake them off.

"Everyone hold! Keep stabbing! We c-AH!" Tel turned to see cyan lights staring at him, he was standing there casually with his robot tongue sticking out, "Gir? What the Boad happened to you!"

"The moose made me fly and I landed inside the mean ship. Then it was dark so I took a nap. Then I woke up and walked out here. My dream had marshmallows in it," Gir spoke while ignoring the screaming death cyborg behind him.

"Moose? Whatever, Gir, you can...um, you can...Skoodge, what are Gir's combat abilities?"

Skoodge was one of the beings holding onto the hunter with a sword, he quickly leaped off to address Tel.

"Sir, I do not believe Gir has any capabilities that would be of use in the current situation."

"Right, okay, thank you, Skoodge."

"Yes, sir, hoo-ha!" Skoodge turned towards the hunter and leaped on it again, clutching the same spot he held onto before.

"Gir, just go back into the ship and get us some weapons or something."

"Okay," Gir cheerfully ran into the ship. Tel wasn't expecting him to come back.

"Heboadians! And Skoodge! It's time for the final strike! Use the Jet-Fire now!" Tel rushed towards the hunter and them all of the beings on it jumped off. The Heboadians formed a vertical pyramid with their cyber arm facing the hunter with Tel on top. While the hunter was still in pain they activated their flamethrower and engulfed the hunter in a stream of fire. The hunter let out one more shriek before collapsing to the ground and remaining motionless.

The Heboadians stopped their flame and saw the remains of the hunter. His armor was half melted and deformed, any organic part of the was revealed was charred and pure black. The Heboadians started celebrating their victory and congratulated each other for surviving.

Meanwhile, the remaining Resisty members peeked out from behind the rock where they hid, still tied up and in awe that they actually killed an SSS Unit.

"Uh, Nar," Spleenk said.

"Yes?" Nar said.

"We should probably leave."

"That's a good idea." The Resisty cowered behind the rock again, not witnessing the Heboadian celebration coming to an end.

Amongst the chatter and yells by his people, Tel heard a strange noise. At first it was faint, but it grew louder. It was similar to heavy breathing, but it was heavily distorted. The pattern of breaths was irregular and the length of each one would vary between long and short. Finally, what scared Tel the most, the noise was behind them.

A monstrous roar overpowered the shouts of the Heboadians, silencing them all. The origin was the beast they had supposedly slain, horrendously disfigured by the melted metal that it wore, and black from flames shot by its source of fury.

Freaked out by the beast after they threw all they had at him, Tel grabbed a piece of metal that had fallen from the monster. He threw it at its face and yelled a single order.

"RUN! EVERYONE RUN AND HIDE!"

The seconds the hunter's vision was obscured were enough for the Heboadians to disappear from his sight. Slowly, it walked towards the closest and most logical place for them to hide, the Dibship.

"Shush, everyone be quiet. He'll find us if we're too loud. Why did we all decide to hide in the Dibship anyway?" The hunter heard the voice coming from the back of the Dibship.

"Hey, who's the one that's tou-"

"Monkey-face!"

"Wha-Gir? What are you doing?"

"I got the math thingy!"

"Math, wha-Gir! I can't handle you-wait, is that Daj's Fraction-"

The hunter ripped open the metal the stood between it and the voices. The hunter faced the monkey-like beings that burned him, a pudgy Irken, and the barrel of a giant blaster held by a small cyan robot.

Gir rapidly pressed the trigger, sending a charged laser shot at the hunter and sending it flying. Tel and Skoodge cheered for Gir but quickly noticed that the beam didn't stop. Gir had pressed the trigger so many times that the beam continued to fire even after Gir let go of the trigger. The next thing they noticed, the force of the beam was causing to Dibship to move at high speed.

"Haha! We've got them now!" Nar and the Resisty watched as the ship rapidly slid away.

"Got them how?" Shloonktapooxis said.

"The bombs are still strapped on the ship, and we have the detonator! Spleenk, give me the detonator!"

"Uh, I don't have it," Spleenk said.

"...just our luck."

* * *

Dib, Kor, and Daj hid behind a piece of a broken building, desperately trying to avoid the giant, hulking hunter. They heard the sound of its heavy steps and the crunching of broken buildings as it lifted them up to search for its prey.

"Come out!" The hunter bellowed as he step closer to the their hiding spot. "You here?"

"No," Dib and Kor looked at Daj with a shocked looked at his sudden response. They questioned his mental stability in their minds.

"No? Then where go?"

"Uh, behind you."

"Okay." They heard the hunter lumbering away, Dib and Kor were in utter disbelief at what just happened. "Wait, who you?"

The hunter had returned, to the trio's fear.

"Uh...uh, I'm a rock."

"Rock?"

"Yeah. A rock. That's a lady. That's pregnant. With rock babies. My rock husband left me."

"Oh, thank you rock lady. You nice."

"Yeah, you're nice too."

The hunter left and once the coast was clear, they came out from behind the rock.

"I cannot believe for one second that that worked," Dib said, "Even if I did see it, I still can't believe it."

"Darvon psychology training at its best," Daj said.

"I would call out how stupid that training must be if I didn't see it work," Kor said.

"How long do you think it'll be before he realizes the truth?"

"Seeing as how he was stupid enough to believe you, not for a while."

"Then we should leave."

The trio started moving in the opposite direction as the hunter, but they didn't even get ten feet before stopping at a strange sight. It was a very tall building that they didn't notice while running in terror, and most surprisingly, it wasn't in ruins like the building that surrounded it.

"Vortian Research and Development," Dib read the name of the building on the sign next to it.

"Why do you think it's still in one piece?" Daj asked.

"No idea, but I think we should just avoid it, I don't have a good feeling about it."

"I disagree."

"I'm with Daj," Kor said, "We're very low on resources at the moment and a research and development center is bound to have stuff we can use, or at least junk we can salvage and repair."

"And I don't want to keep running from that thing, I want to find a weapon that can kill it."

"What? What if it's some sort of hunter breeding ground or something!"

"Which would we have a better chance against, a giant hunter we can't kill with this laser, or a hundred hunters that can die to this laser and your sword?"

"Both options really suck."

"I doubt this is a hunter breeding ground," Kor said, "This is a Vortian facility after all and hunters are earth beings. They just invaded this planet, they wouldn't have time to set us some sort of breeding ground for them."

"Yeah, alright, fine. I guess we're going in then."

* * *

"I cannot believe I'm getting shot out of a cannon," Gaz was sitting in the barrel of a cannon with Zim, about to be fired at high speeds to the Vortian Research and Development center.

"The forcefield required great force to be penetrated, it'll require great force to get out," Crax continued to type on his console, "Okay, I've set the coordinates for you to land at the VR&D."

"This is so stupid."

"Crax, I'm finding this method more and more questionable," Zim said.

"Why aren't you coming with us, again?"

"I'm the only one that knows how to work the launch console," Crax replied.

"It's as if I'm forgetting about one important detail about this," Zim continued to ponder.

"Commencing launch."

"Something that would make me rethink this entire process."

"Hey, wait, if you're the only one who can use that console, how do you plan to meet us?" Gaz asked.

"That's what I'm forgetting!"

"Launch!" Crax pressed the button and fired Zim and Gaz.

They grabbed onto each other as they soared higher and higher, seeing as how Zim was the only one with a parachute. Once they were at the point where all the buildings looked like less than a centimeter in size they started falling, at that point, they saw a strange object was spiraling towards them. They collided, causing Zim and Gaz to separate.

"Hmm, that looked like a dead, burnt moose," Zim said.

"ZIM!" Gaz yelled as she was now free-falling without a parachute. Zim and Gaz were separated by ten or fifteen feet. They started trying to move towards each other, "Just don't activate the parachute!"

"I can't anyway! It's on a timer!"

"Your stupid friend and his stupid timers!"

"Here, I'll check how much time we have left!"

"Just hurry up and catch me already!" They drew closer to each other as they drew closer to the ground, suddenly a beeping started from Zim's parachute.

"Uh oh," The chute activated slowing Zim down, fortunately Gaz was close enough to grab onto Zim's leg.

"When I see Crax again, I'm gonna kill him."

"I doubt whatever hit us was his fault."

"I don't care, I need someone to vent on."

Zim took her comment somewhat lightly and looked forward.

"We're gonna miss the building."

"Huh?" Gaz saw that as they got closer to the building they would miss their mark on top of the building, "Don't worry about it."

Gaz pulled out a blaster that Crax had supplied them and shot a window in the building. Gaz started swinging her legs and aimed at the parachute.

"What are you doing?"

Gaz shot the parachute as she swung forward, sending her through the opening she made and Zim slamming into the building before Gaz pulled him up.

"That's for earlier." Zim shot her a glare before turning to his wrist. He tried to activate the map but nothing came up, it was entirely blank.

"Well, we won't know if anyone is around us."

"Whatever."

"Whatever? Even if we end up getting swarmed by Tak's hunters?"

"Zim, in 24 hours I was in a ship crash, imprisoned, twice, fell from a cliff, and shot out a cannon. If, at any moment, I'm given any good reason to fire this blaster at any living target, I will shoot them several times, in non-fatal areas, so that I can see them suffer before I walk up to them and squish their head."

Gaz stormed off, followed by a cautious Zim.

* * *

Tak was growing increasingly frustrated. She lost SSS Unit X-001, 002, and 003 to Zim's stupid little group of idiots. She couldn't believe that Zim had slipped out from under her nose and she kept searching for any sign of him with her camera drones. She stopped the fall would've killed him but there was no body of either him or Gaz.

"Si, si, let's just leave them. We'll torture them later instead of executing them right now! It'll be fun! We're having so much fun, right Tak? Idiota."

Tak wished she had shut off the monitor a long time ago. She looked on the map and saw 004 walking away from Dib's group. She pulled out a mic and started yelling into it.

"004! Where do you think you're going!"

"Voices? In my head! They scare me!"

"004! What's wrong with you? It's me, Tak!"

"Tak? Tak in brain! Tak in brain!"

"Wha-no you-004, just turn around and go get those beings that killed 001 and 002."

"No, rock lady with babies said targets this way."

"Rock? 004! Just turn around now! They tricked you!"

"Rock lady lying? I kill everyone!" 004 cut off his communication link.

"What was wrong with him!"

"He must of activated cannibalistic cyborg mode, increasing his mass and destruction capabilities tenfold after the consumption of cyborg material! Very experimental."

"But why was he so stupid?"

"The reason not every soldier has it is because the greater the strength gain the greater the intelligence loss."

"Great. Now the number of idiots I work with has increased."

"Have you realized what you've done yet?"

"What?"

"You just sent an enraged death monster towards the Vortian Research and Development."

"Yeah?"

"..."

"That's where I left my ship!"

"Idiota."

"That stupid moose will destroy that building and my ship with it!" Tak tried to connect to him but it wouldn't get through.

"What are you gonna do now?"

"Ugh, I'm gonna have to get 005 aren't I?" Tak started trying to establish a connection to the last hunter. "005, where are you?"

"..." There was no answer.

"You're still doing that stupid silent thing aren't you? When will you realize that hurts our operations more than it helps!"

"..."

"Ugh, just get to the Vortian Research and Development and kill everyone, including 004."

"..."

"And do not destroy the building!"

"..."

"My ship is there and if it gets damage I'll be stuck on this stupid rock with Zim and his band of idiots!"

"..."

"005? You understand that!"

"He cut transmission three sentences ago," The Employer said.

"I can't rely on anyone can I? I guess I'm gonna have to handle this myself," Tak shut off the map and readied her blaster, "Mimi, we're leaving!"

"Planning on stopping those insects yourself?"

"Insects, Irken, or hunter, I just really want to shot something right now."


	26. DOOM Hunt Fin: DOOMfall

Tak stood at the base of the tall Vortian tower, the only building that Tak was told to leave alone, so because of that it was where she parked her ship, aka the Resisty ship she had taken command over. The Employer was the one who gave her the order, he was looking for something locked inside, a lock that only the Irkens and high ranking Vortians knew, something Tak discovered after they had already killed everyone. It's the only thing keeping Tak on Vort, it's the only reason why there was a Scavenger Squad on Vort, to find any Vortian that could open that lock.

That lock was not her focus now, she just saw the newly broken window and the opened door. There were beings inside. She would kill all of them.

* * *

Two blaster, a laser rifles, a laser sword. Gaz was going through the supplies Crax had given them and equipping herself with any weapon she had found. She pulled out some weird round objects, she had Zim identify them, they were explosives, activated via button press, just what she wanted. She pulled out another blaster, but the barrel had a claw jetting out from it, apparently some grappling hook according to Zim, more utility than weapon. Finally, she found a metallic, box-like object with a screen taking up one side.

"That's an Irken Hacking Device," Zim said.

"Can it kill anything?" Gaz said.

"Not unless you're a robot."

"Here," She tossed the device and the bag at Zim, "You'll probably the only one who can use it anyway."

Zim placed the device back into the bag, he saw that she had also given him a blaster, an explosive, and the grappling gun, "We're on the level twenty-two, it's gonna take a while to get to Crax's box."

"Then let's just take this elevator."

"What are you talking about?"

"The lift or whatever you call it in space."

"Zim knows what an elevator is! Don't mock me! What elevator are you talking about?"

"That one," Gaz pointed to the lit up metal door behind him.

"What the-that shouldn't be powered!"

"How would you know?"

"Because that would mean there's power in this building, why would Tak leave this building powered?"

"Does it matter? I like having two hands, so I'm gonna push the button."

Zim was very suspicious, but he liked his right hand also and the elevator would save a lot of time, so he followed Gaz.

* * *

Level ten.

"For an Research and Development center for the strongest race of beings, there isn't anything really interesting here," Dib had just walked through the building and were taking a break, glad that things were actually calm for more than ten minutes.

"What were you expecting?" Daj asked.

"I dunno, giant glass cylinders, secret spacecraft, cruel, inhumane experiments on beings?"

"What kind of sick labs do you have for your planet?"

"Uhh..."

"AH!" Kor was sticking her head out a window to look over the area but when she looked up shards of glass pierced into her face, "WHAT THE FEF!"

"Woah, what happened?" She started ripping the shards out and healed over the gashes on her face.

"There's a limit for how many times one can get killed in a single day without wanting to kill something yourself!" Dib and Daj took a step back.

"So what wer-"

"I swear, if I find out some being caused that glass to fall I will kill them!"

"So-"

"AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGG!"

"...Are you done?" Kor took a deep breath.

"Yeah."

"So what were you looking at?"

"The giant earth moose is heading back here." A giant roar sounded as Kor finished talking, spooking Dib.

"Crap, really?!"

"Well, time to keep moving then," Daj said.

"What? Why?! What if he breaks the base of the building! Going higher won't save us!"

"For weapons! We need something that can kill a giant beast!"

"Yeah, but-"

"WEAPONS!" Dib let out a sigh.

"I doubt I can talk you out of it, lets just get to the next floor."

The trio walked to the end of the room, nothing caught their sight. There was nothing but desks, computers, a few test tubes, but nothing stranger than what Dib saw in his dad's lab. They made it to the eleventh floor and suddenly, they found themselves in a dark room full of nothing but giant crates.

"Boxes! Yay!" Daj ran towards a box

"What are you getting worked up for?" Kor asked.

"Boxes means storage, storage means weapons, weapons mean happy Daj."

"Wouldn't weapons be stored in smaller boxes? All of the boxes here are taller than you."

"Giant weapons!"

"Daj, how are you gonna open this anyway?" Dib said, "I know it's dark but I can't find a crevice anywhere."

"But there are weapons in here! I can feel it! Whatever is in here will cause mass destruction! I just need to find a way to get inside," Daj pondered for a bit before grabbing his looted arm blaster and firing it at the box, it did nothing to the box, "Seriously?"

"Come on, Daj, we shouldn't waste time, there's a twenty-plus feet tall moose coming to destroy the building."

"But there are weapons in here! I can feel it in my right hand!"

"You don't have a right hand."

"Oh, right, I forgot about that, then what's this feeling on my right side?"

Dib and Kor shrugged their shoulders. Daj moved to the other side of the box and he still felt that pull in the same direction. He moved across the room, keeping his hand stretched out to avoid bumping into the other giant boxes that were scattered across the dark room. Dib and Kor followed closely behind until Daj came to a stop.

"This feeling, I think it's my right hand..."

"What's with the smell?" Dib closed his nose in disgust.

"Didn't you say the thing that came out of Dib's head ate it?" Kor said.

"Yeah, but that's the only explanation for this feeling, however at the same time it doesn't feel right. I'm trying to get back the feeling in my fingers but it's been separated for so long and I couldn't even feel it tug until we got in this room," Daj said, "It feels like my hand is stuck in something, I wish it was brighter so I could actually see what's wrong with it."

On cue the lights on the room turned on and Daj stared at the disgusting lump from where he felt his hand is in.

"Woah," Dib said.

"Woah? This doesn't exactly scream woah, more like dead carcass whenever I find that tiny thing!"

"Not that, I saw that coming when I smelled it, I'm talking about that!" Dib pointed in front of Daj. They were standing in front of a giant door with the number twelve painted on it. There was a square hole about a foot and a half wide that went through to the other side. Dib was intrigued by what was on the other side because his dad always told him that giant doors held secrets. As Daj was dissecting the lump to free his hand, Dib looked through the opening, spotting a staircase on the other side.

"We have to get to the other side!"

"Sure you can get through?" Kor asked.

"Yeah, if we ju-wait, what did you mean by that?"

"Mean by what?"

"You were referring to my big head, weren't you?!"

"Well come on, Dib, you can't really deny that you head is larger than most beings we've seen."

"She has a point you know," Daj said.

"Besides, I doubt Daj can fit through also, and his head is almost normal."

"Yeah, wait, almost normal?"

"Alright, since neither Daj or I can fit through then I guess that means you volunteer, thanks Kor," Dib said.

"What?" Kor was pushed by Dib towards the hole, "Wait, why should we go through anyway?"

The loud roar of a moose shook the building. Kor quickly jumped through the hole and wriggled her way through to the other side.

"Do you see anything that can open the door?"

"How are you so sure there is something like that?"

"Because doors like these are suppose to be easy to open from the inside, usually just something like a switch or button."

"You expect a high security building that holds secret plans for the strongest race in the universe to be easily opened by a simple-..."

"Kor?" After a pause, the giant doors opened, revealing Kor next to a giant red button.

The trio walked up the stairs into level twelve. The sliding door opened and they entered the windowless room. It was just as Dib imagined; giant tubes with several species floating in them, rotting corpses of half dissected beings, several partially finished gadgets as well as completed trinkets, weapons were hung along the walls.

"I guess I shouldn't be so surprised since this is an Irken facility," Daj scanned the walls, "Oh hey, weapons!"

Daj immediately ran towards them and started inspecting them, trying to figure out how they shoot and their power. Kor started looking through the trinkets that were lying around, almost impaling herself when one of the gadgets shot a spike towards her. Dib inspected the different aliens floating in tubes, he's never seen such a variety. There were some with a humanoid body structure, four ligaments and a head structure, like one with what looked like a crystallized body. The ones that lacked any humanoid features were almost indescribable to Dib, he couldn't even tell if they were once living beings.

Dib eventually stumbled across another door, one that was slightly shorter than he was. He touched the door and it collapsed, it wasn't connected to it's frame at all. Dib stepped inside the room and found rows and rows of shelves, with what looked like components for larger machines and purple papers with designs drawn on it. He saw that one corner of the room had components that were misplaced, missing, or fallen compared to the neatly placed components around them. As he got closer he saw that the shelf space was deeper than he thought. The area was storing small boxes. They were stacked neatly except for a few that looked like someone had opened them recently. There was a separate box that sat away from the others, out of curiosity Dib took it. It was different from the others by having a padlock and by being green.

* * *

Level five, Tak was making her way up to the rooftop where her ship was parked, hoping to meet and kill Zim and his followers on the way. The only thing stopping her was the twelfth floor, which was locked from level eleven and up to level sixteen. She had to reach level ten on foot first then take an elevator to get to level sixteen.

She recalled when she had to examine this part of the building, the first ten floors were dull to her, lacking anything of real information or use. Levels sixteen and up was where all the maintenance rooms, completed projects storage, and Irken living facilities. Levels twelve to fifteen was blocked off from her, it was where all the experimental projects were made, tested, and stored. Levels one through ten was for Vortians; entry checkpoints, chain-tightening rooms, punishment rooms, torture rooms, punish and torture rooms, punish and torture for fun rooms, gruel-in-a-bucket room, chain-to-a-wall-and-close-your-eyes-until-tomorrow room, just all the stuff she was used to seeing.

There was a ringing.

"What?" Tak answered.

"..."

"Hello? Hello!"

"..."

"If that is you again Five I will grab each of your brain cells-"

"Twelve is open."

For the first time since Tak had met SSS Unit-05 he spoke. Just three very important words.

"I guess priorities have changed."

* * *

Level sixteen, Zim and Gaz stepped out of the elevator after it wouldn't go any lower. They immediately ran to the door that would reach level fifteen, a giant gate with the number fifteen painted on. Gaz tried to open it herself, through force, it had no effect.

"You done?" Zim asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"This door, Gaz, is constructed with the strongest Irken and Vortian metals, making it indestructible to infantry scale firepower, so it's obvious that your barbaric and brutish techniques would have no effect on it."

"Brutish?"

"This situation calls for intelligence! Specifically my unique and superior intelligence! Zim's! And an Irken hacking device," Zim place the device over a console next to the door and started typing on the screen, "First I must get into the main systems of the building by bypassing several firewalls and blocks as well as a weird trial where I collect orbs as a worm."

"Zim."

"This worm refuses to turn around this corner! Turn I say! TURN! Ah, okay, next I shall find the specific port for this level. Quintuple restricted access? Ha! Feeble security system! Feel the wrath of my pointy fingers!"

"Zim!"

"Huh? That's strange, according to this there's already someone who's controlling the basic functions of this building."

"ZIM!"

"What, Gaz?!Can't yo-" Gaz kicked Zim, knocking him down and avoiding a barrage of lasers. They both got to cover behind some crates and lasers continued to fire upon them. "What's going on?!"

"While you were busy feeding your ego a bunch of turrets appeared and started firing at us!"

"Ah, yes, that's usually our security for when we want to restrict our prisoners to certain areas."

"How many turrets are there?"

"The usual is thirty and one automated mini-gun."

"I hate your stupid race," Gaz activated one of the round explosives and threw it in the direction of the lasers, a bang went off and the sound of metal falling to the floor followed, but the sound of lasers still filled the air, "How many do you think I got?"

"Do you really think one explosive would be enough to destroy several turrets?"

"Do you have a better idea?"

"Yes, if I can get back to the hacking device I can cut the power to this entire floor, deactivating the turrets."

"How are you gonna stop the turrets from shooting at you?"

"That's your part, the turrets are designed to prioritize non-Irken and aggressive targets, if you draw their attention first, I'll be able to get to the hacking device."

"So you want me to jump out at a bunch of turrets and attempt to dodge hundreds of lasers."

"Or we can just wait here and count until the lasers tear through our cover or the timer on our wrist runs out and cuts off our right hand. I can always attempt to make a replacement robot hand but I don't know what you'll do, seeing as you lack the knowledge-"

"Fine! I get it. I just had to mentally prepare myself for this."

"Don't worry, I trust your combat skills the most out of all the fools I know."

"Alright, one, two, three, go!" Gaz sprinted in the opposite direction of the door, immediately the lasers focused her as she reached more was able reach the hacking device and started working on it, he looked over his shoulder and had to quickly duck to avoid a laser headed towards his head.

"Hey! You have to keep the lasers focused on you! Hiding won't help at all!"

"I know!" Gaz threw out another explosive, destroying a few of the turrets and redrawing their focus.

She got out her rifle and analyzed her surroundings. To her left was the stack of crates that had served as their previous cover, she saw that the lasers had severely damaged them, melting parts of it and revealing the contents of the inside, she knew she couldn't stay under the same cover for too long.

To her right, about seven feet away was the next set of crates she could use for cover, after that she would have to continue to sprint from cover to cover until Zim was done, whenever that was. That would've been the most annoying way to handle this situation, however.

Gaz aimed her rifle from the left side of the crates and blindly fired at the turrets, focusing their attention slightly to the left. She then turned right and sprint across the seven feet gap and fired her rifle at the turrets, spraying lasers at any in her sight and destroying several of them. The remaining turrets were turning towards her and tried to fire but she was faster. She slid behind the new set of crates and started preparing herself for repeating the process. She shot blindly over her right shoulder and sprinted to her left, once again destroying several turrets. She repeated this process and the sounds of laser-fire was lessening, however, she could tell she still had the stupid minigun to deal with.

Gaz was sprinting across back to her original cover again, as she was taking cover a laser shot right in front of her and she quickly lowered her body to avoid the hit. She looked at where the laser had come from and saw that a hole had melted through the crate. She got back to her feet and sprinted to her right. Once she was behind the crates she saw that the original crates were almost completely melted in the front.

She found a piece of reflective metal on the ground and used it as a mirror to see how many turrets were left. It was only the minigun that continuously shot at her. She had two explosives left. She grabbed one and used the metal reflector to try to aim it, however, she knew that this throw would be mostly luck, but she had to try it. She threw it over her shoulder and it was flying towards the minigun. She felt a brief moment of hope, only to turn to anger when the reflector showed the gun shooting the explosive and detonating it in midair.

"Seriously?!" Gaz yelled in frustration. One explosive left. She couldn't blindly throw it anymore, she had two choices. Either throw it while facing the minigun allowing the explosive to be thrown at full force while it's focused on her, however it meant she wouldn't be sprinting at full speed across the gap, or throw it at something to ricochet the explosive at the minigun. A throw with the highest risk of killing her or a throw with a one in a million chance of working. Gaz knew she wasn't that lucky.

Gaz sighed at her options but became alert when a laser flew right in front of her, her crates weren't going to hold out any longer. Gaz started to sprint with the explosive in her right hand. As she left her cover she turned towards the minigun that was turning to fire at her, it was the first time she had a direct view of it. She brought her right hand as far back as she could and then threw the round explosive. The ball flew towards the minigun with incredible speed, the machine still turning to fire at Gaz. She felt time slow down as the explosive flew closer, that's when she saw it, if the explosive kept flying in the same direction it would miss hitting the minigun. The lasers were catching up to her and she was still halfway until reaching the already half-melted crates. She acted on pure instinct. Her right hand grabbed the rifle she had and quickly leveled it before firing a shot. She started tumbling to the ground while watching her laser collide with the explosive just as it was right next to minigun. What followed was the sound of broken metal and a lack of lasers.

Gaz breath a sigh of relief before picking herself up. She made her way to Zim, still working on the hacking device. After a few more seconds he stopped.

"Haha! Once again, I, Zim, am victorious!" he said.

"Want to be useful?" Gaz said.

"Huh?" Zim looked at the mass of scrap metal behind him, "What are you talking about, I destroyed all the turrets with my hacking apparently!"

"No, I did that while you were trying to stop the turrets."

"Well that seemed like a waste of effort."

"Considering waiting for you meant more lasers melting my cover, I don't think so. So are you going to open the door or what?"

"That would take more time."

"Great, and who knows what else will be thrown at us, maybe an army of robots."

"Well I did find out something while I was deactivating the security."

"What?"

"His location."

* * *

Dib walked out of the closet with the green box in his hands. He saw that Daj had pretty much removed all the weapons from the walls and Kor was filling a bag with all the trinkets she could find.

"Hey, Dib." Kor said when she saw him, "What's with the box?"

"I found it separate from a bunch of other boxes and it's colored differently, usually that means there's something awesome inside, also I had no idea what to do with all the other things in there."

"More gadgets? I'm gonna take a look then." Kor slipped by Dib into the closet.

"Got enough guns there, Daj?"

"There are so many guns that I have no idea how to work or use, why can't I carry them all!?" Daj was trying to find a way to carry as many guns as possible, "I'm really envious of your thingies that connect your hands to your torso right now."

"Just take what you can strap onto yourself, too much would weigh you down anyway."

"Why? Are we in a hurry?" Another loud roar was heard, "Oh, right."

"Kor, come on! We have to get ready for giant moose in power armor."

"Wah? Oh right!" Kor got out with her bag stuffed with random junk

"I see that you both have been feeling greedy."

"It's not like the dwindling population of Vort is going to need this."

"Whatever, we've been distracted for to long," Dib walked towards the door that would lead them to level eleven. He opened it and immediately closed it.

"What happened?"

"There's an army of scary looking robots down there, I'm going to run in the other direction." Dib started to frantically make his way away from the door.

"What?"

The sound of metal clanging against each other came from the door. Loud bangs were heard followed by the sight of the door bending and breaking. Finally the metallic door flew across the room, barely missing Dib. In the doorway stood several robots, silver with cyan lights, two cone-shaped eyes, two antennas, two slim robot arms, one hand featuring three claws, the other hand in the shape of a cone with three holes in a triangular formation, completed by two long cone-shaped legs.

The robots just stood under the doorway looking straight ahead. Kor and Daj slowly backed away with Dib. Daj slowly reached for one of the various blasters he strapped onto his back, he then aimed it at the doorway and pulled the trigger. It hit one of the robots square in the head and it fell. The other robots looked at their fallen comrade then immediately turned towards Daj and the others, their cyan parts turned red and they started pouring through the doorway, running with one of their hands raised and unleashing a torrent of lasers.

Dib and the others quickly ran through a door that led into a different floor. It was apparently the room used to build their technology, giant pieces of equipment were everywhere alongside workbenches. They quickly jumped over one of them and took cover as the robots broke though the door.

"Do you have to shoot at everything?!" Dib yelled.

"I can't help it, it's what I was always taught," Daj said.

"You have such a one track mind," Kor said.

"Come on, it's not like you guys expected the robots to _not_ shoot at us, did you?"

"...You have a point." Daj poked his head over the bench and saw that the robots were marching in a line towards them while firing lasers in random directions.

"So what do we do?" Dib spotted a staircase on the left corner of the room, it was the closest exit they could see.

"We'll have to make our way over there but we'll need a distraction for all these robots," Dib said.

"Already on it," Kor was tinkering with the machine that was placed next to the workbench, it was similar to a giant robotic arm coming out of the floor, with a giant drill for a hand. "We should move."

Kor, Dib, and Daj ran towards and ducked behind another workbench. The robots saw them and started running towards them. One of them had a clear view of the sitting trio and aimed its lasers, lights could be seem in the three holes on its hand as it was charging, then it disappeared. The hand stopped charging and sparks and scrap metal flew from its chest as a giant drill went through its body. The drill was going berserk, rapidly flaring in any direction, impaling any robots within its radius.

As it was turning the robots into metal donuts they refocused their attention on the machine, reading it as a priority threat. They destroyed the machine with their lasers but the trio had escaped from their previous cover. The robots saw them climbing the staircase and escaping through the door. They quickly rushed to the door but was met with a giant saw-blade slicing into the head of one of them. The room became a battlefield of machines versus machines, weaponized SIR units against mechanical saws, claws, hands, screwdrivers. Dib caught a glimpse of the battle before closing the door behind him.

"How do you know how to rewire the machines like that?" Dib asked Kor.

"I don't, I just used my tools to open some panels and pulled some wires," she replied.

"Wow, that's pretty lucky."

"For once."

Daj found a table to attempt to barricade the door with, they had to move somewhere quickly. They turned around to get the first good look at the room they were in. The room was extremely large, with short barricades set up into rectangular sections, like a station. The walls were covered with red splashes, contrasting against the white ceiling. As they walked through the room, they found the sources of the red liquid, bodies upon bodies of gray skinned aliens laid at their feet.

"I've never seen carnage like this," Kor tried not to stare at any of the bodies for too long but found it hard since there was a corpse no matter where she looked.

"Tak's soldiers are ruthless! How did we even survive up to this point?" Daj said.

"Something's strange though," Dib said, "We haven't seen any corpses in the building until now."

"They could've all escaped into this room before getting trapped and slaughtered, you know, just like our situation."

"There's something else also," Dib got closer to the bodies to confirm his suspicion, "All the bodies here were killed by a bladed weapon."

"So?"

"Tak's army uses blades _and_ lasers, but there aren't any scorch marks here at all. They also lack the signs of being mangled by eight feet tall cyborg moose, like bent spines, stepping marks, droppings, you know, the stuff we saw around when we were in the city."

"This is pretty observant of you."

"I know, I assume it's from years of hunting cryptic beasts and conspiracies that made me notice details like this. Do you smell something?"

"What's a smell?"

"Right, your species lack nostrils. It's probably just the alien corpses, it smells really...odd."

As the trio searched for an exit, avoiding the bodies the best they can. As the amount of bodies they saw increase, their morale decreased. The corpses made them think about how hopeless their situation was. They were heading up, for one thing, with a robot army following them. Unless they found something in the next series of floors, they had no way of going back down. Then there was the lingering thought of the giant moose that will probably destroy the building with them in it. Even if they survived that, they were still stuck on a ruined planet with a broken ship with two psychopathic Irkens. They couldn't help but see their futures in the Vortians laying in the room.

"AH!" Kor slipped on a pool of blood. Dib helped her up but was quickly shoved away, "I'VE HAD IT WITH THIS STUPID PLANET!"

"Kor, calm down. You've been through a lot worse," Dib said.

"SCREW YOU DIB! AND SCREW THIS PLANET!"

"Geez, can we just go on before the situation becomes worse?"

After the long walk to the end of the room, they saw hope, metallic rectangles that would be their exit, but their hope was crushed once they reached it. The door was welded shut, the wielder of the torch sat slumped next to it, a pale gray alien, alongside a dropped blade and with a slit wrist while wearing a smile on his face.

"STUPID! INSANE! MASS-MURDERING! BEINGS!" Kor shouted as she banged against the sealed door, "Why must my life be filled with them?!"

Daj just looked down and stayed silent, he put his hands around his body to comfort himself.

"Come on, guys," Dib tried to repair their spirits, "There's got to be another exit somewhere, we just have to keep looking."

Dib's spirit was broken by a loud bang that echoed through the room. The robots had gotten through the door. Daj and Kor continued with their overly emotional actions while Dib panicked. They had no way of escape and the amount of metal clanking against the floor told them that there were too many robots to overpower. Dib tried to think of any option that would get them out. He activated his laser-sword and tried to melt through the door. He pulled the sword out and saw that it wasn't long enough to reach the other side. They had no options left. Dib did the only thing he could think of, scream.

"We're doomed! There are no logical escapes possible for us! There's nothing we could do!"

"Shut up, Dib-stink!"

The insult was all too familiar to Dib. He looked around to look for the Irken.

"Zim?! Where are you! Your voice sounds like it's coming from above us but that's impossible!"

"I'm on a speaker system you stupid earth-monkey!" Zim berated Dib as usual.

* * *

"Oh, that would make sense, but I don't see a speaker box anywhere." Dib's voice came through the circular speakers on the console. Zim and Gaz had traced the location of the being who activated the turrets into a room on the eighteenth floor. They had charged into it with rifles armed; they found the lights and electronics still activated, a toppled chair, but no being in sight.

The room was circular, with a main platform where a console was, as well as two wide gaps on the sides that were several feet deep at the very least, Zim explained to Gaz that they were trash chutes as well as filthy Vortian deposits.

The room contained dozens, possibly hundreds, of monitors, more than Zim and Gaz can keep track of, it was pure luck that they even found Dib. Then they noticed the item in Dib's hands. Zim quickly got to the speakers on the console and set it to the floor Dib was on. He activated the hacking device on the console and got a log of past activities. The elevator, lights, turrets, and experimental SIR Soldiers V2 were all activated recently.

"Dib-worm! If you don't want to face my wrath you will protect that green box with your life!"

"What?" Dib looked down and saw that he was still carrying the green box from two floors down. "Oh, what's so important about it?"

"That's not important right now, listen, you're in the VR&D Test Chamber right now, and someone activated a gas to be emitted when you stepped into the room."

"Really? That must be what the smell is. What does it do?" Zim looked at the specific process and found a file containing information on the gas.

"It's Formula Zero-3 IZ, known for warping your pitiful weak brains. Based on my observation, it would be why the squishy tinkerer is slamming her fists against the door and the lizard-stink is pitifully sulking."

"I see, that makes sense, but how is it affecting me?"

"From how you're talking, it made you logical, making you useful for once."

"Damn it, Zim, I would argue against that if it didn't make so much sense!"

"You're also hallucinating."

"I see, then what I'm seeing isn't real. I know, there really isn't a robot army isn't there?! It's all a lie!"

"No you stupid earth-monkey, those are real and will kill you!"

"Then it's the dead Vortian bodies! Tricks on our mind to instill fear and destroy all hope!"

"No, those bodies have been rotting for days."

"Then it's the door! It's not actually welded, it's just an illusion!"

"Shut up already!"

"Then how the hell am I hallucinating?!"

"The speakers, you said you couldn't see them, they're right above you."

"What?! That's useless information!"

"Is it, Dib? Or it is a secret detail I'm giving you to foreshadow a futu-"

"No! Just get us out of here before the robots kill us already!"

"Fine," Zim started hacking into the controls of the floors to find an exit for them, "There, I opened a vent that leads straight up into the next floor, it's in the corner to your left."

* * *

"I see it, it's that opening in the ceiling," Dib saw a section of the white ceiling slide away, revealing the exit Zim opened. Dib dragged his two hysterical comrades to it, but saw that he couldn't reach the opening at all, "Zim, can you drop like a ladder down or something? There's no way I could reach that height."

"Do you think I could control every single object from this console? That'd be unrealistically convenient! That vent is just used to send objects down into the test area, there's not suppose to be a way up!"

"Then how am I suppose to reach it!?"

"Must I solve all your problems for you and your pea-sized earth brain?" Dib had to think quickly.

"Daj! You're tall enough to jump for that! Grab it and we'll climb on top of you!"

"We can't!" Daj sulked, "There's no hope!"

"It's right there! Hope is just a stupid jump away!"

"We're doomed!"

"Dammit Daj!" Dib had to get through to him somehow. Based on every movie and book he's seen and read, most mind alteration victims can be shocked through something they really cared about. Dib quickly grabbed one of Daj's guns and threw it through the vent.

"My guns!" Daj immediately leaped towards the vent to follow his weapon. He barely grabbed the ledge of the vent and was dangling.

"Quick, Kor, let's go!" Dib threw the box onto the next floor then grabbed Kor's hand and they climbed to the next floor using Daj's body. Once up, he pulled Daj up where he was reunited with his misplaced weapon.

"Dib, next time you throw one of my guns away, you're losing head mass."

"Zim, we've made it!"

"I can see that," Zim voice was coming from a different speaker on the new floor. The vent closed, making sure none of the gas leaked through to them, "There, the lizard-stink was shocked out of the mentality change, it should wear off quickly for you and the jelly-like tinkerer."

"Alright, Kor, how are you feeling?"

"Calmer, I guess, now that I don't have to see a mutilated body every step," she replied.

"Good, the gas is wearing off."

"What? No, Dib, I'm not affected by fumes or gases."

"Then why were you acting so pissed off back there?"

"Because I get angry when I'm trapped in a room with rotting corpses and about to be shot endlessly by robots."

"Oh."

"Dib-worm, get ready to move," Zim's voice was tense, "I have to get you access to the next floor, however there are two gates, both equally difficult to hack into and open."

"Can you do it?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course, I can do it, I'm Zim! It'll just take time. I just need to know that you can stay alive until then."

"Stay alive, against what?"

"So the gas has worn off on you."

"What?" Dib saw a laser fly straight up right in front of him, "Right, killer robot army."

"Turn around and run to the end of the room, set up a barricade of some kind while I start hacking into the doors."

"Alright," Dib and the others followed Zim's instructions. Once at the door they toppled the nearby shelves to act as cover. They would stack them and hesitantly use the experimental substances stored on the shelves, such as anything sticky, to hold it together. They watched from a distance as lasers shot through the floor and metal claws turned it into shrapnel.

"This floor is the VR&D Observation chamber, where all tests are observed and controlled under the mighty Irken fist! Each experiment is ti-"

"Zim, shut up! There are robots that are trying to kill us, just start opening those doors!"

"I am! I just felt that this room needed some exposition, and gaining knowledge of your surroundings is important."

"Zim, now's not the tim-AH!" Kor pulled Dib down as a laser flew near his head and burned a bit of his hair. The robots had started climbing into the room, the first one shooting towards the barricade.

"See, if you had carefully observed you're surroundings, you could've dodged that yourself."

Dib ignored Zim's belittling and started to focus at the danger creeping up on them.

"Daj, hand me a gun."

"Woah, Dib, I don't even know what these guns do or their capabilities. What if they do something dangerous and we hurt ourselves?" Daj replied.

"Then how will defend ourselves against though robots?!"

"I still have the cyber-moose laser thingy."

"One laser against all those robots isn't gonna do much."

Kor let out a sigh, "Just hand me the guns."

"Huh?"

"I know that this conversation is just going to lead to me testing the guns out since I'm immortal so lets save time and just skip to that part."

"Really, Kor?"

"Just hand me the stupid weapons already," Daj slid the guns to Kor, "Just stand back a bit."

Kor grabbed a purple rifle and leaned over the edge and aimed at the robots. They started focusing their shots and her and she pulled the trigger. There was a loud bang, but the robots were all fine. Dib saw the explosion that had just occurred. The rifle was now nothing but bits of metal, miraculously no shrapnel had hit him, while Kor was left with her arms missing as well as her head. Her body slumped back while her head and arms regenerated.

"Uh, Kor, are you ok-"

"Dib, I'm used to this by now, I just want to know what kind of idiot designs a gun to explode."

"That design is genius!" yelled Zim over the speakers.

"I should've guessed," Kor picked up her glove and put them on her freshly regenerated arms before reaching for another gun. She pulled and held the trigger, the weapon had four prongs that spun rapidly, creating a ball of energy before firing it and causing a concussive blast, easily breaking the robots.

"Ooo, I want that one," Daj said. Kor tossed him the gun before moving onto the next one. Eventually Kor went through most of the guns, including an energy disc launcher, a rapid-fire multi-shot rifle, a gun with homing bullets, and one that fired solid, spear-like lasers. Dib and the others felt like the blasters gave them endless resources, unfortunately the robots' numbers were equally endless.

* * *

Zim was using the hacking device to get into the main controls as fast as he can, it wouldn't take as long since he got past some of the security checks when he was hacking into the turrets, however trying to open the doors were still the most difficult tasks he's ever had to do, all the encryptions, locks, and passwords, there were so many and would take the average beings hours to bypass and decrypt, Zim would finish within the next five minutes.

"Gaz!" Zim called out to the purple-haired human watching the monitors, tracking Dib's and the others' movements.

"What?" Gaz had been watching everything from the monitors, from the moment they discovered the vacated room to the point where Dib was fighting off robots.

"I'm almost done with this, I'll need you to use the monitors to navigate a path from Dib to us."

"Fine." Gaz carefully looked at the upper left corner of each monitor where they labeled the floor of the building. Currently, Dib, Kor, and Daj were in several cameras labeled "L15", in various angles. She found a clear pathway that would lead Dib to the turrets she destroyed on level sixteen, from there it was easy to find a route that would lead to level eighteen where Zim and she were. Then something caught her eye.

As she was looking at a monitor of the room she was in, her focus shifted onto a monitor labeled "L20". There sat a figure in dim light, a figure she knew she didn't know yet a bit familiar. She looked at more monitors of the same room in different angles and better lighting. The figure was tall and was in full armor. Though she still couldn't recognize the figure, she easily deduced that he was the one they were after, that's when it hit her. She could see everything from here, who enters the building, who leaves, who uses the stairs, and whoever got close to this room.

The figure looked like he was watching something. Gaz found a monitor that gave a view the figure from behind, he had a device in his hands.

"Dib-worm and other meat-shields, the doors should be opening right now!" Zim yelled into the mic.

"Zim," Gaz kept her eyes on the monitor, "I need you to zoom in on this monitor."

"Didn't I tell you to find a path for your pig-headed brother? Besides, I have to work on deactivating those robots."

"Just do it." Zim gave in to Gaz's demand.

"What's the full label of the monitor?"

"L20, A32." The monitor Gaz was looking at was projected as a large hologram for both of them to see.

"Who is that?"

"Who do you think?"

Gaz was wondering why the hell he was just sitting there. If he was trying to run from them then why would he just be two floors above, it would've made more sense to try to escape the building. She kept trying to think of reasons why someone would just sit there.

"That device in his hands," Zim zoomed in further, "It looks like some sort of countdown."

_Countdown_, Gaz easily made the connections in her head, _but that would mean..._

Suddenly Gaz heard beeping. Red, blinking lights started circling the room.

"Crap."

* * *

"AHHHHH!" Dib, Kor, and Daj had ducked for cover, not from the lasers of the remaining robots but from the explosion. They quickly realized they were unharmed and ran through the doors that Zim opened and onto the stairs.

"What was that?" Dib asked while running.

"I thought Kor blew up another blaster," Daj replied.

"I didn't," Kor said sharply, "None of us got hurt, right? Then obviously it didn't happen near us."

"Right, we'll think about it later then," Dib said, "We have bigger problems right now anyway."

The robots had reached the makeshift barricade and were starting to climb over it. The trio ran through the door on the sixteenth level and took cover behind it as the robots funneled through below them.

"Zim! We've made it through! Can you either close the doors or deactivate these robots now, it'd be really helpful!" Dib waited for an answer but none came. "Zim! Come on already! We still have your green box thingy!"

"Dib, I'll try to suppress the robots until you decide what we're going to do," Daj readied a rapid-fire rifle and sprayed into the mess of robots that were trying to file through the door from the floor below. The high ground and inability for the robots to move freely allowed for Daj to shred through them.

"Remember that explosion from earlier?" Kor asked, "I think it isn't unlikely for that explosion to have come from the speakers."

"Hmm, that would explain why Zim can't answer back," Dib glanced at the endless stream of robots Daj was still shooting at, "We should try to reach Zim and Gaz quickly."

"Dib, the explosion came from the speakers, meaning the room they were in was probably blown up. I don't think even Zim could survive an explosion."

"Kor, don't be ridiculous. Daj, let's get going."

"Do we have to?" Daj said, "I'm tearing these bots apart!"

"Your gun's smoking."

"What? Ah!" Daj's rifle glowed red from overheating, he dropped the gun from the sudden heat and it fell down the stairs. The robots watched the blaster that had torn apart their fellow robotic brethren apart, then they turned their sights towards the former wielder and raised their blasters. "Uh oh."

Daj quickly ducked behind the door and the robots started firing. Even though there were less robots than usual, the laser-fire was more concentrated and endless, almost like a continuous stream. Daj tried to ready another blaster but the moment he tried to blindly fire through the door the lasers quickly concentrated on it and melted the blaster down the middle. He had made them more aggressive, and deadly.

"So, have any idea where to go?" Daj asked.

"Absolutely none," Dib answered, "But, staying here won't help anything. We're going to head up, as quickly as possible, and with any luck, we'll find them."

"But how can you be so sure we'll find them?" Kor said, "You can't seriously be ruling out the possibility that they we-"

"They're alive."

Dib was certain Zim was alive, after all, he had her by his side.

* * *

He wish he could've seen it. The look on their faces when the bombs started beeping, that was the downside of using this method of extermination. Tak and the master would've been pleased with his work but it lacked the enjoyment. Fortunately, he was about to have more fun.

"I really want to shoot you right now," the voice came from his right, it was a pale, purple headed being, one of the beings from the dossiers he had been given.

"However, after what you've put us through, I'd rather have you as a prisoner, so that I may extract every bit of your knowledge and plans, painfully," that voice came from his left, from the Irken that annoyed Tak at the mentioning of his name. Both aiming blasters at his head.

"Next time, don't give us so much time to duck into the trash pocket," Gaz said.

Of course he knew about the trash pockets. He was hoping they would use it to escape, because he really wanted this.

"Now stand and surrender," Zim commanded.

The hunter did as Zim said. It was time.

"Hey, what are you holdin-"

Boom. Gaz and Zim crouched and put their arms over their heads as debris fell beside them. The lights became broken, and the room became dark, but light still shined from above. It was natural light, from the outside, the hunter had rigged explosives all throughout the remaining ten floors, creating a series of gaping holes in the ceiling.

Gaz quickly re-aimed her gun and tried to fire but the Hunter was faster and fired a strange blaster. It shot a spinning cable that hit Gaz's legs, tying them together and causing her to fall over. A metal box on the cable started beeping and a spike shot straight through one of the holes in the ceiling.

"AHHHHHhhhhhh..." The cable retracted and took Gaz with it. The hunter knew Tak would like the gift. He then quickly jumped to the side, avoiding two shots that flew towards him. It was just the Irken left, their leader, the most valuable target, the one who's head he wanted as a personal prize.

Zim continued firing his blaster at the hunter, he dropped the cable gun and raised one arm into the air, launching another cable from his gauntlet through a hole and retracted into the next floor. Zim looked around him and saw that the entrances that he and Gaz used were blocked off by the debris from some of the explosions, Zim had only one way to go.

"Fool!" Zim shouted, "Do you think you can escape me, Zim?!"

Zim pulled out the grappling hook gun from the sack he was carrying and shot straight into the hole right above him and got into the next floor. Zim looked around, the floor was cleared of everything but some debris from the explosions. He slowly backed up before his back his a wall, only it wasn't like the regular walls of the building, they were rough and uneven, the hunter had made a barricade from the items in the room. He closely examined the floor and the dim lighting revealed that the barricade trapped him. He shot the gun into another floor to confirm his suspicions, he had done this to every floor.

The hunter had crafted his hunting ground, a place with no hiding spots for Zim, but with enough shadows for him to stalk, with enough light to reveal Zim's bright green skin and purple outfit and eyes, with enough darkness to shroud his darkened armor.

"So, you plan on using this incredibly over-elaborate setting to take me down!" Zim moved away from the wall, "You realize, you're not the only one acquainted with darkness."

Zim quickly turned around and fired, hitting the hunter as he was dropping from the floor above.

"Wow, I guessed corr-I mean, Ha! You cannot beat me, Zim! I will be your destroyer! I shall-HEY! OW! AHHHHHHH!"

The hunter had shot a spike at Zim that he barely dodged. It attached to the wall and he used it to leap towards Zim, knocking him down another hole and crashing onto the floor below.

Zim landed on his PAK, he felt pain in all his limbs. He looked up at the hole he fell from, the hunter stood there. Zim saw a large, bladed object in the hunter's hand, he didn't like where this was going. The hunter jumped down, the blade pointed at Zim. Zim fired his grappling gun and avoided the blade headed for his head. He got to his feet and fired into another hole, entering another floor.

He continued to find a hole in the ceiling and advanced into another floor. He paused to scan the new floor, it was just like the others, barricaded. He kept jumping floors, each the same as the others, each equally dark, he was hoping as he went up there would be more light to limit the hunter's cover. Zim backed into the barricade to avoid an ambush from behind.

_Nothing from above, _he carefully watched the various holes, at least the ones he could see,_ not below, right, lef-_

Zim pressed himself against the barricade as much as he could, a sharp pain came from his chest. The hunter's blade had sliced him but the wound wasn't deep, this was the opening Zim needed. He pushed the blade away with his left hand and fired a point blank shot with his right. The hunter recoiled back before falling backwards.

"Hah, now beg for mercy under my mighty, iron Irken might!" Zim moved forward to finish the hunter off but then he felt something brush against the side of his body, it was a wire, attached to the barricade behind him, Zim became frustrated, "...I hate you."

The hunter used the wire to launch himself at Zim, crushing him between his armor and the wall. Zim felt dizzy, he couldn't think straight and dropped his grappling gun and blaster. The hunter reeled back and swiped at Zim, but he stumbled under the blade. He tried to run but could walk straight, let alone run, and fell into a hole. The hunter quickly jumped down another hole to follow, just as Zim hoped. He pulled himself up from the hole he had grabbed the ledge to and picked up his gun and blaster.

"Just like a fool to be outsmarted by one who is superior, and that one is Zim!" his victory was brief as he heard a spike fly up from the hole he was just in. Zim quickly advanced onto another floor, but he was still shaken from earlier and couldn't move much. He couldn't continue this fight much longer, but he didn't need to, he had one plan left.

Zim started jumping up floors again, the hunter pursuing him. He didn't have time to look around like he wanted to, he just had to keep jumping. Finally he reached the top floor. Zim could see the sky for the first time in a while, but he couldn't stop here. The light here was brighter than the other floors, but he couldn't fight the hunter here. Quickly, he ran to another part of the room as the hunter reached the same floor. The two eyed each other, then Zim fell.

The hunter followed Zim, but fell down a separate hole, falling at the same rate as Zim. This was an opening, Zim fired at the hunter, the flash of light traveling across the rooms, each shot missing the hunter. He cursed his aim, but he saw it, it was time to kill the hunter.

He shot his grappling gun to stop himself. The hunter saw him stop falling, and stopped on the floor below Zim. He shot a spike up, expecting to follow his prey just as before, he didn't expect the Irken to charge at him. The spike detached and the hunter was knocked to the floor, Zim quickly moved off of him and fired his grappling gun up, but not before firing a shot at the hunter's head.

One floor up, Zim wasn't being tailed by the hunter yet. He waited a second before seeing the spike fly up, then he fired his. Two floors up, Zim started running to another hole but stopped until he saw the hunter, then he fired and zipped up onto the next floor, the hunter following. Once there, Zim ran under another hole and stopped. The hunter paused a bit, wondering what he was planning, then he started running at him with his blade. Zim started firing at the hunter with his blaster, but with nothing hindering him, he was able to dodge each shot. The hunter slashed at Zim as his grappling gun zipped him up towards the next floor, he fired his own spike almost impaling Zim from the bottom up. The hunter was preparing himself, each time he got closer and closer to Zim, he would not escape him anymore, he readied his blade to cut the Irken in half once they hit the next floor, that's when Zim let go of his cable.

Zim turned around before letting go of his grappling gun, colliding in midair with the hunter, both of them crashing back down to the floor below. The hunter felt the full force of that crash, probably revenge for crushing Zim earlier. He knew Zim would still be near so he turned around, staring at the barrel of Zim's blaster, the only thing keeping Zim from pulling the trigger was the blade at his throat. Despite feeling the cold metal on his neck, Zim smiled, this was what he wanted, this stalemate.

"I've learned quite a bit about you," Zim said, "You keep a facade of being a cold, silent killer. You're efficient in your methods but you have too much pride. Having this elaborate and excessive setting just to chase me around with no laser-based weaponry."

The hunter found more enjoyment with using blades to kill prey over guns.

"And most importantly, I've found your weakness. You can be a cyber-moose warrior-hunter thingy-assassin, but you still fear your imminent death."

The hunter feared nothing, his master had told him and the other moose warriors that.

"If I'm wrong, then slice my neck now, but I will pulled the trigger, and despite my failings to kill you with shots to your triangular head, I wonder how this third shot would go against your cracked, dented, damaged helmet."

Maybe the master had lied to him.

"Here's something else for you to consider, how much do you know about Irken anatomy? Does cutting my neck really kill me, or can I just reattach my head? Are my vital innards actually at the center of my body or my arm? Can you really kill me before I pull the trigger? Which is why I advise you to move your spike away."

The hunter decided to listen to him, and lowered his arm that his cable was attached to.

"Now, one question is at the forefront of your pitiful, moosey mind. Why? Why would this vastly superior being want to be in a situation where he would potentially die? I'll tell you a secret. When I said you weren't the only one acquainted with darkness, I wasn't talking about me."

Half a second. That's how swift the death was. The laser sword went straight from the top of the hunter's skull through the bottom of his jaw. The hand holding the blade being held back by a striped sleeved arm. The hunter fell, the blood flowing around the boot of his purple-haired killer.

"Your laser almost hit me," Gaz said.

"It was the only way I could find you quickly," Zim replied.

"Can you stand?"

"Barely," Zim started falling to his knees before Gaz caught him.

"You're such a burden."

"And you're dark and twisted, very reliable traits."

"You were just lucky I had a laser sword to cut myself down." Zim motioned Gaz to where his fallen grappling gun was, he fired it until they reached the last floor, leaving the dead rotting corpse of the hunter.

Once there, they saw that the barricade was still surrounding them. Gaz dragged Zim to the barricade of compacted junk, she dropped him on the floor, he let out a cry of pain, and started examining the barricade closely using her laser sword's faint light. Despite all the stacked crates, tables, chairs, other machinery looking like they were just thrown together the construct was extremely sturdy, the pieces were either too heavy or too stuck together to budge. She decided there was only one solution, cut through it with her laser sword.

The purple colored sword went into the mass of junk smoothly and Gaz slowly made a cut from the bottom up. As she was about to make an arch in the barricade she noticed a blue colored laser sword going down. She quickened her pace in order to connect the two cuts. Once she did, the blue laser had reached the floor and retracted. She had an idea who it was, she kicked the mass of junk.

"Ow!" Her suspicions were right, the junk had hit her big-headed, moronic brother with his laser sword-hand. Despite the insults, she was glad to have found him, "Gaz?"

"Took you long enough to find us," she replied.

"We were...busy," Dib pointed Gaz towards the passageway that Kor and Daj were busy barricading and holding together. A robot limb punched through the barricade and was flailing around, trying to grasp at something. "And we still are, where's Zim?"

"Down here, earth-scum," Zim was still lying on the floor, "Now assist me."

Dib and Gaz both shouldered Zim, "Alright, we should get out of here."

"Hey, it's the drone and the scary earthling," Daj said, "You didn't die after all."

"Before we start catching up and reminiscing about our adventures in the last hour, we should-AH-come up with a plan of escape," Kor could feel the robots pushing harder, "A specific and clea-"

"To the rooftop!" Zim shouted.

"And the vague and general plans continue."

"Dib, you still have the green box, right?" Dib held up the box in front of Zim's face, "Put it in my bag and protect it with your life."

The group started running away from the robots, Dib and Gaz were having trouble keeping a steady pace with each other and with Zim's weight. They ran around the barricade and reached a ramp leading to the roof. They heard the blockade Daj and Kor made break and started making there way to the the door. Gaz blasted down the door and the light shined on them.

They stepped out on the top of the VR&D building. Gaz noticed that the holes that the hunter had made were confined to about a fourth of the area. The rooftop was mostly bare, the only things noticeable about it was a ventilation shaft, the doorway that had led them there, and a giant dumpster sitting across from them. They all ran behind the dumpster to hide and take cover.

"So what now?" Dib asked.

"Now we make our escape," Zim said, "You see, I knew we would be in this situation, which is why I have this!"

Zim reached into the backpack he was carrying and pulled out a large sheet.

"The parachute?" Gaz said, "You kept that thing?"

"Of course!"

"How'd you even fit that thing in there?"

"That doesn't matter at this moment, we'll make our escape by calmly descending to the ground!"

"Wouldn't our combined weight just make that thing useless?" Dib asked.

"Silly Dib-worm, you asked such stupid questions. Maybe you want to escape on one of our jetpacks or something that your stupid mind would come up with."

Dib just sighed, knowing Zim would be too stubborn to listen to logic, though he felt like he was forgetting something important. Zim pulled himself towards the ledge.

"Now I, Zim, shall lead-" Zim paused mid-sentence once he looked down the building. He retreated back to the dumpster, "New plan, we will kill all the robots!"

"What happened to jumping off the building?" Gaz asked.

"There's a giant cyber moose thing down there that's about to strike the building." On cue, the building shook and a roar followed it.

"Great..."

"That's what I forgot about!" Dib said, "That was the why we were heading up in the first place."

"Well, now the second reason we were running up the building just appeared," Daj pointed to the robots marching out of the door.

"Lizard-stink, Tinkerer, Gaz, Pig-headed Dib-scum, destroy the robots!" Zim commanded.

"At least if we're gonna die, I'll get to enjoy some shooting," Daj was the first to lean out with his blaster. Immediately the blaster was shot from his hands, "I think we're pretty much doomed at this point."

"Tinkerer, go out and draw their fire while the rest of us shoot at them!"

"Can I object to that idea?" Kor asked.

"No!"

"But I'll be obliterated if I so much as stick my han-OW-d out there!" Kor showed Zim her now missing right hand before regrowing it.

"I see no problems with this idea."

Unfortunately Kor didn't see many option they could take without her feeling immense pain, making Zim's idea the best option for them. Kor peeked out and quickly pulled back her head before the laser barrage could melt it. The robots were gathered in a big cluster, but they weren't moving. They were waiting to see any sign of life before they all started shooting. She really hoped something good would happen right now.

"What's that noise?" Gaz asked.

"You mean the giant moose that's making that punching this building?" Dib replied.

"No, it's something else, kind of like a giant laser."

Everyone else started hearing it too. It grew louder and it came from behind the dumpster. Cautiously, they all looked behind it and fortunately, the robots had noticed the noise too, they were focusing their attention on a cliff. A purple blob came soaring from the cliff, Zim and the others couldn't believe it.

"It's the accursed Dibship! And it's flying!" Zim shouted.

"No, it's falling!" Gaz said in shock. She was right, the cliff made the Dibship fly upwards, but the laser pushing it had stopped and it started falling towards the rooftop like a meteor. The group watched as the robots started firing at it as it drew closer to them. The robots were crushed. The impact resonated throughout the building, causing the group to fall against the floor of the rooftop.

Dib was the first to notice the crater left by the Dibship, a collection of crushed robots and cracked or broken flooring, but no ship, it had bounced. He looked up in horror as he saw it falling towards them.

"LOOK OUT!" Dib screamed, but they couldn't move in time, all they could do was cover their heads as the ship grew larger. They braced for their imminent crushing and screamed when they heard and felt the impact. They continued screaming until they realized they were completely fine. They looked up and saw the Dibship balancing on the giant dumpster they were hiding behind.

They got up in relief but became cautious when the ship started shaking. This was Zim's first look at the Dibship in a long time. It was horribly broken with parts missing everywhere. They all walked around it and saw that it had lost a good chunk of its mass, probably from the crash or flying through the city. It was also covered in strange black circles. Zim wanted a closer look but then the building shook again, the moose was still continuing its fight against the sturdy building, the Dibship started shaking to the fright of the group. Then something-no, someone fell from a hole in the ship in front of them.

"Tel?!" Dib said, the Heboadian was soon followed by a scaly reptilian being.

"Kry!" Daj shouted in joy. Kry got up and shook its head to get focused. He grabbed a black glove that was attached to his side and gave it to Kor, she thanked him. Finally, a robot and a pudgy Irken fell, landing on top of Kry.

"Sir!"

"Hi master! I missed you!"

"Skoodge! Gir!" Zim said, "What in the name of Irk happened?!"

Tel got up and bent backwards to loosen himself before he spoke, "Some sort of armored being attacked us."

"And it caused the ship to fly over here?!"

"No, that was Daj's giant laser Gir was firing."

"My Giant Fraction Blaster!" Daj said excitedly.

"Its probably stuck in the ship somewhere."

"Do not touch the ship, Lizard-stink," Zim commanded Daj, "It's unbalanced now and if we want to get off this planet, we shouldn't damage it anymore. Now where's the rest of my armada?"

"They fell off the ship while the laser pushed us here. I'm sure they're alive, they've survived worse."

"Good, but we have bigger matters to att-" Zim paused when the building shook again, "-end to."

"Quick, lets head down the building," Dib said, "I'm sure with all of us and the weapons Daj found we could take down that moose."

"Hey, I give the orders, Dib-slime, me, Zim! Now lets head down and slay that moose."

"I wouldn't move if I were you."

That voice made Zim and Gaz instinctively pissed off.

"Tak," Zim said disdainfully. The group turned to face the female Irken holding a rifle in her hand. She was also carrying a sack, strapped to her side as well as having her SIR unit, Mimi, standing right by her. Zim stared at her and released himself from Dib's and Gaz's shoulders, ignoring how sore his body felt.

"Step away from my ship, Zim," she said scornfully.

"_Your_ ship? This purple broken mess with heavy attitude problems is property of Zim!"

"Not that inoperable piece of trash! My ship! It's right behind you." Zim didn't know what she was talking about, the only thing behind him was the dumpster.

"Wait, this dumpster is your ship?!"

"And it smells like one on Earth too, but don't play dumb Zim. I know you know it's my ship. I know that you plan on using it to get off this technological wasteland."

"I did, I mean yes! Of course! Because I'm a genius!" Gaz shook her head at Zim's idiocy.

"Now step away from it."

"I don't think you're in any position to be demanding anything from me." Daj had given Tel, Skoodge, and Kor blasters and aimed them at Tak. Gaz also aimed her rifle, Dib activated his laser sword, Kry got ready to pounce, and Gir outstretched his arms like he was about to give a hug.

"On the contrary Zim, you see, you're all standing near the fuel tank of the ship, and if I shoot it, you'll all be engulfed in a big fiery explosion."

"Lies! You're lying! No one puts a fuel tank on the outside of their ship! It's incredibly inefficient and stupid."

"Stupid designs by stupid builders, but I could test it out if you want." Zim couldn't tell if she was lying or not, he couldn't even see that the dumpster was a ship. There was also the giant moose to deal with, but the last thing Zim wanted to do was give in to Tak.

"Well, Tak, I have explosives set where you're standing!"

"You're bluffing." Gaz sighed at Zim's stupidity.

"No I'm not."

"Then where's the detonator?" Zim couldn't think of anything to back up his bluff. That's when Gir walked up to him. He looked at his servant as Gir opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue that was balancing a box with a switch on it. Zim was slightly disgusted but he took the box anyway.

"It's right here!" Zim smiled, though now he didn't know what to do. They were in a stalemate at best, which is not something Zim had time for according to the counter on his wrist, "Tak, there's a giant cyber moose down there trying to destroy this building. We don't have time for this."

"I don't care!"

"You'll be destroyed too!"

"I have means of survival."

"I'll make sure you won't sur-"

"Ugh, Zim," Dib interrupted.

"What?!"

"The Dibship fell."

Zim turned around and didn't even notice the Dibship falling down the building. Also the Dumpster ship was sliding away also, teetering over the edge. Tak just now noticed this as well and a look of concern spread on her face. The building was actually slanting slightly now, and they all thought it was just going to get worst, but the shaking stopped once they heard a loud crash. The Dibship had landed on top of the giant moose. Zim and the others wondered if it was really dead when they heard an extraordinarily loud roar, causing the building to vibrate and making Tak's ship fall as well, making them all express their frustrations.

"Crap!"

"Crud!"

"Blast!"

"Joy..."

"Yay! Click!" Gir shouted in joy before activating the switch Zim was holding. A large explosion was heard from the base of the building, Tel just realized that the detonator was for the explosives on the Dibship. The force of the explosion caused Tak's ship to fly up into the air as the building started slanting even more.

"Well, it's been a terrible experience, Zim, but at least I've made sure you have no means of escaping this planet!" Tak pulled out an orb from her sack to show Zim.

"The Dibship's core!" Zim shouted.

"I stripped it from the ship when you first crashed, Hahahahahaha-" Tak continued laughing as her ship started falling on her side of the building, sliding down the slanted structure. Tak walked backwards with Mimi and they both started sliding as well.

"After them! We can't fly without that core!"

They all sprinted towards Tak's side of the building, which grew harder as the rooftop became steeper. They reached the edge and jumped over, the nine beings were now sliding down the thirty story Vortian building, facing Tak and Mimi.

Dib, Daj, Kor, and Zim fell as they tumbled down the building, making them easy targets for Tak, but as she aimed, Gaz fired two shots at her. Both shots missed but it prevented her from firing. Kry sprinted down the building on all fours, he was too fast for Tak to hit easily and Gaz was giving him cover fire. He tried to pounce but was caught off guard by Mimi, who grabbed his head with her claw-like appendage and slammed it through a window on the building. The glass broke and Kry became unconscious.

"HOOOOO-HAAAAAA!" Skoodge leapt at Mimi, firing two blasters at her as he fell. Mimi dodged Skoodge when he landed and let the pudgy Irken roll past her, then she was blindsided by Tel. The heboadian tackled her while having his flamethrower on, becoming a mini-cyber-monkey fireball. She had scorch marks covering her and Tel brought out his stick that he carried. They sparred, claw versus wooden stick, and parried each others' strikes. Tel saw an opening, he drove the stick forward towards Mimi's chest, unfortunately Tel did not master the art of piercing metal with a stick. Mimi swatted him to the side when Gir grabbed her head. He proceeded to lick her antennae.

"You taste like me, let's be friends forever!" Gir started hugging her Mimi's head. Unamused she ripped him from her face and punched the top off Gir's head with her claw. Then she grabbed Tel as he came at her with his stick again and shoved him into Gir's head.

"I've got head-monkeys!" Gir screamed. Mimi turned to throw the two downwards when she saw Skoodge right before he tackled her. He held on tight and the four started tumbling down the building as a ball of metal and flesh.

Tak ran by them and used her sliding ship for cover. The other had were able to steady themselves as they slid down, allowing them to consistently fire at Tak. She reached into her sack and pulled out two discs. She pressed a button on the center of both discs and threw them on the building. They stuck, Gaz was the first to see and recognize them, they were just like the ones in the control room.

"Bombs!" Gaz yelled. She and Zim tried to slow themselves down. Dib, Daj, and Kor were closer to the bombs than Zim and Gaz and tried to sprint past them. The bombs went off, creating a mass of black smoke, the force of the explosion launching Dib, Daj, and Kor flying forward.

Tak saw this as an opening. As Daj was falling she ran upwards, thrusting her knee into his chest. Then she slammed him down, grinding his head against the metal of the building before firing three shots into his back. Dib had gotten to his feet and ran at Tak with his laser sword. She caught his arm before he could strike her and used it to turn him around, she grabbed his other arm and bent it behind his back to further constrain him. She took control of Dib's sword-arm and used it to pierce through the head of a charging Kor. She cried out in pain before Tak used Dib's sword to cut her in half at the waist. Both pieces of Kor tumbled downwards Tak them slammed Dib against her ship before throwing him towards the rest of his fallen comrades.

Then she saw Zim and Gaz, both running towards her with lasers raining down towards her. She decided that she had her fun and climbed up into her dumpster ship. The ship sprouted wings and part of the metallic covering drew back to reveal thrusters and a visor covering a cockpit. Tak started activating everything when a robotic, claw-like hook broke the glass, she saw that it was attached to a long cable, at the end of that cable was a gun, holding that gun were her two least favorite beings.

Zim and Gaz used the grappling gun to pull themselves towards Tak's ship. They landed on top of the glass and started firing lasers through it. Tak found cover behind the seat of the cockpit. She started firing back wildly, using the lasers to cover for her as she flung the control of her ship, swinging the ship and causing Zim and Gaz to fall off. However, she heard the sound of Zim's maniac laughter. Tak was puzzled until she saw a round ball with a blinking light. Tak cursed and broke the glass with his blaster and leaped through as the explosive went off. The explosions caused the fuel tank on the ship to explode as well as Tak rolled away from it, turning the ship into chunks of metal.

The slant of the building was flattening and everyone was slowing down. Tak was lying there, dizzy from the explosion when she stopped sliding, and felt immense pain. Her right hand had been pierced by a purple laser sword.

"AHHHH! MY IRK! WHAT TH-" Tak became silent once she saw the barrel of a rifle wielded by her earthling enemy. "Wait!"

"If you're gonna give me a reason to not kill you, you have three seconds," Gaz cocked her rifle.

"I have this!" Tak pulled out a purple and black book, one all too familiar with Gaz, "If you shoot me, I'll make sure this gets vaporized with it."

"Tak, I've written you name in there over five-hundred times, I don't care."

"Fine, then you can have it back!" Tak threw the book in Gaz's face and swatted the gun away with her free hand. She pulled out the laser sword as Irken fluids leaked from her hand and tried to thrust it at Gaz but she blocked it with her rifle. Tak kicked Gaz away before dropping the sword and running, Gaz wondered why she was running before noticing the disc-shaped souvenir attached to her rifle.

"F-" Gaz tried to throw the rifle away but it exploded in midair. The building now only had a slight incline and Tak quickly ran to the base of the building. As she jumped a laser shot her from behind and she was sent tumbling to the ground.

"Ow! You shot me in the PAK! What's wrong with you?!"

"Everything! Wait-no! I mean nothing! I am Zim!" The green spike that's been piercing her brain for the past five years stood above her at the edge of the fallen VR&D building. "I am the strongest, invincible, and I will-"

Tak threw an object at Zim.

"Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP! I do not want to hear another second of your incessant boasting after suffering through it for years! You are nothing more than a lowly smeet that was for some reason allowed to take up mass on the same planet-no, on the same universe as every other being! Even now you're nothing but a convenient pawn!"

"Haha! You foolishly threw my ships core! Wallow in your failure!" Zim held up the orb that Tak had thrown in triumph.

"Did you just ignore everything I said? You-nevermind! I'm sick of you, let's go Mimi." Tak ran off to the wreckage of her ship and activated a circular console. Metal, waist-high walls appeared as Mimi jumped in. Tak pulled a lever and it started to hover, "By the way, Zim, that core's a fake!"

"What?!" Zim watched as the orb he held broke into several pieces, "Curse you, Tak! Curse you!"

"Hahahahahaha-huh?" As Tak's craft was hovering away it suddenly shaken. A grappling hook had attached itself onto the console and Zim was flying towards her. "You're really stupid, aren't you?"

"Of course not, I just really despise you and want my core back. Now hand it over so I can blast you!"

"You moron, look at you. Your pathetic plan had no chance of succeeding the moment it farted out of your head. Your ship spends most of his time either sniveling or belittling, your armada is the most pathetic force I've ever seen, unable to handle just five of my troops, and then there's you yourself. A complete mockery of the Irken race and every life-form in the universe. You lack the common sense and capabilities of real invaders, the only thing you have is stupidity to the infinite degree that somehow hasn't killed you, until now."

Zim just shot her with his blaster. The laser skimmed her face, leaving a burn.

"You spend an unbelievable amount of time talking." Tak swatted the blaster out of Zim's hand.

"You know, Zim, from this height, I wonder if your PAK can survive the fall," Tak grabbed the grappling hook, letting Zim dangle from her grip, "Goodbye, Zim, you lose."

Tak let go. Zim watched as a glass visor close her pod and it disappeared. Zim was falling faster and faster until he reached the metal ground of Vort. Most of his body was numb, his mouth was warm, filling with some sort of fluid, he couldn't tell what it was. He used all of his willpower to move his arm, he felt a piece of metal near him. He picked it up and held it over his eyes, it was silver with a broken pink circle, it was a piece of his PAK. His hand fell, he couldn't move anymore. He closed his eyes.


	27. Aftermath of Doom

Deep space, miles away from Vort, a small pod was drifting freely when a ship zoomed by and sucked it up. The ship then sped away until it reached total blackness. No nearby planets or rocks to reflect the light, no nearby stars to illuminate the way. Then the ship itself became a part of this darkness. It had docked onto the mothership, a massive battle space fortress of doom.

Inside, an Irken with a SIR unit walked out of the ship and was escorted by a tall, armor-clad moose. They walked through the ship, the Irken noticing the elite moose troops all around the ship, all doing various jobs, some were crafting weapons, forging stronger armor, cloning grass to graze on. As they walked through a tube, they could see outside the ship, they were still expanding, moose soldiers in moosey astronauts suits were using tools and lasers to increase their already massive warship.

Finally, the moose used a pad to open a door, he stood by as the Irken and robot entered the room. It was a circular chamber where it was only lit on the edge of the room, the center was completely dark.

"Uh, Sir?" The Irken spoke.

"Si, Tak, es yo! It is I! El Employer!" The velvet voice came from within the shadows.

"Why is it so dark?"

"I like it, it makes me muy misterioso."

"Okay? Anyway, I have completed my duties on Vort."

"Si, I know, that was why I sent my ship to pick up your escape pod. So where's el component?"

"Well, I don't have it-"

"¿¡Qué!? ¡That was the whole point of us even being on Vort! Aside from our desire to completely obliterate all life on it!"

"Hold on, I don't have the component, it wasn't in the vault on level twelve of the VR&D like we thought, but I did get the blueprints for it." Tak pulled out a small, rectangular frame from Mimi's head. She pulled on the edges to expand it and a hologram filled the area, revealing detailed instructions.

"Hmm, this will be just as useful, bueno Tak, however it would take time for us to complete this and thus cause a delay in el plano."

"I understand."

"¿And what of the Resisty? ¿Did they meet their grisly fate on Vort?"

"I neither know or care, I just stranded them on that planet."

"I see, no importa, it just means I won't have to keep my promise of giving them back their planetas. Besides, my moose clones makes them replaceable."

"How are they functioning by the way?"

"Bueno, except they cannot understand me because _someone_ gave me the wrong language disc when I was programming my original moose warriors."

"I still apologize for that incident, but I do have great news!"

"¿Qué?"

"I killed him," A big smile crept onto Tak's face as she said those delicious words.

"¿Him who?"

"Who else? Zim!"

"¿Really? ¿Zim esta muerto?"

"Uh, excuse?"

"¡Of the dead! You need to learn something other than that primitive Irken speak."

"Yes, sir."

"¿So where is it?"

"Where's what?"

"¡The body!"

"I don't have it."

"¿¡Qué!? ¡Idiota! ¿¡How can you know he's dead if you don't have the body!?"

"But I threw him from an extreme height! There's no way he could've survived that!"

"¿Oh really, and did you see his cranium splatter when he hit the ground?"

"Well, uh, no. My pod was already miles away before I could see it."

"¡Idiota!"

"But I am absolutely, one-hundred percent certain that Zim didn't survive that!"

* * *

"AAAAARRRRHHHHHHH! WHAT THE IRK HAPPENED?!"

"Shut up and stay still!"

A hand flew and collided against green skin, sending pain throughout his body.

"Gaz! If you hit him that hard, you'll knock him unconscious, again."

He recognized that voice, the whiny, useless tone. He was trying to remember, the being was fleshy, wearing a tattered black jacket, a weird pointy hairdo, he felt like he was forgetting something about him in that description though, something big.

"Yeah, you're right, Dib, I'm just too used to hitting him when he overreacts like this."

"I think that's a natural reaction for someone in his situation."

"SHUT UP AND TELL ZIM WHAT'S GOING ON!"

"I said to stay still!" Gaz pushed back and restrained him.

"Let go of me! You-you, who are you?!" Zim had apparently suffered some brain damage, Gaz knew only one method to deal with head trauma, she cracked her knuckles, "AH! AH! Gaz! You're Gaz!"

"Zim, you should listen to Gaz," Dib said, "You're not in good condition right now, actually, it'd be more accurate to say your condition sucks, really bad, horribly."

"You, you're the useless, foolish, stink-slime-scum earth monkey-human-worm!"

"Yea-"

"With the big pig head!"

"...yes. Seriously, Zim, you should be moving and yelling so much."

"Why? What happe-AAARRRRGGGHH! THE PAIN! THE HORRIBLE PAIN!"

"I'd listen to them if I were you." That voice came from behind Zim, he recognized that sick and twisted tone.

"Crax?! Is that you?! Why are yo-AAARRRGGG-"

"I told you to listen to them," Crax said, "This is a delicate operation that takes extreme precisio-...hmm, that wasn't suppose to go there."

Zim was about to speak his mind again when Gaz closed his mouth with her hand.

"Zim, right now Crax is working on your PAK." Zim looked on the ground near him and saw his PAK casing, he tried to scream but only managed a muffled yell. "It was damaged, when you fell, because of...Tak."

Gaz said that name with great disdain and on instinct Zim grimaced in disgust.

"Then after you're fleshy friend came to me with you in her arms and she was begging in tears, 'Please, Crax, save him!', I couldn't deny such passion so I said yes, just as I told her that should anything happen to me, Zim won't survive for much longer."

Gaz lowered her fist that was aimed towards Crax. She got up and decided to leave them alone for their own safety while she cooled off.

"Where are we?" Zim asked.

"Look around you," Dib replied.

"Alri-AHHH! AHH! AHH! AHHHH-" Zim turned his neck and heard a snap, sudden pain overwhelmed his senses.

"And that's why we told you shouldn't move," Crax snapped Zim's neck back in place.

"AHHH! AHHH! AAAHHHH-You planned this, Dib! AHHHH!"

"No, I swear!" Dib said, "Just because I find it hilarious that you did that to yourself does not mean I planned it!"

"YOU LIE!"

"We're at the plaza, Zim," Crax said.

"Plaza?"

"Yes, how about your pointy-headed friend there retell the tale of what's happened while you were on the brink of death."

"Pointy? You mean the Dib-scum? Yes, what did happen?"

"Alright," Dib found some rubble to sit on, "So Tak had beaten us up..."

* * *

"Zim! Come on, wake up already!"

I was lying on the cold, metal ground, all bruised and battered. My body was sore-

_Get on with it!_

_Okay, okay, I'm just building up suspense._

"Ah, geez, what the he-" I slowly got up to my feet, all around me was nothing but broken metal. When I turned and saw the VR&D building lying in rubble I could only wonder, how the hell did I survive.

"Dib! How badly are you hurt!" It was Kor, she had no signs of damage on her aside from torn clothing and a broken glove that was sparking every other second, I was thinking about how nice it would be to be a Fefian right now.

"I'm not hurt too badly, I think. I can stand, arms are fine, robot hand is broken. So what happened?"

"I was the first to wake up, soon after I found Gaz, then Gir with Tel stuck in his head, Skoodge lying in rubble, Kry on his back, and Daj had both his hands and feet stuck under a slab of debris. Overall, our injuries aren't too pressing."

"Where's Zim?"

"...I think you should see for yourself." Kor was solemn in her tone. She guided me away to where everyone else was, they were already huddled in a circle on the ground. One of them was Gaz, the person who's voice I heard earlier, and in her hands she was holding you, Zim.

"Gaz, is he..."

"No, he's not! I've-we've seen him go through worse than this over the years and he always came out fine!" Gaz pulled your body up a bit and that's when I saw it, a collection of circuitry and wires attached to your back, pieces of the covering lying on the ground, it was your PAK.

I remembered the time I had taken your PAK once years ago, you couldn't survive for too long without it. Gaz was in denial, I thought, well, had thought you were dead.

"There's nothing we can do, Gaz. We don't have anyone with any medical knowledge here, which just now makes me question how the hell we've survived for so long."

"None of us know anything about Irken physiology also," Daj said, "Well, except for the mini-drone and Gir."

"My training did not heavily cover Irken recovery, they told us our assigned SIR unit would take care of our maintenance," Skoodge said. We all turned to GIR who was standing there with his tongue out. He turned to us and smiled as if he completely understood what we wanted, then he jumped on your stomach and opened his mouth, he grabbed your tongue as if he was expecting a pulse. After waiting for several minutes, Gir let go and lifted a piece of the broken PAK.

"Master's backpack is broken!" We really shouldn't have expected much from him. Gaz responded by picking the robot up and shaking him furiously.

"We already know that you stupid robot!" I thought she was gonna tear Gir's head off, "What we wanna know is whether Zim's actually dead or not!"

"Master's sleeping!" Gaz stopped shaking Gir and slapped you on the face, obviously you didn't wake up.

"How the hell is that sleeping?!" Gir just looked at her stupidly.

"Well, the robot's sort of right." We were surprised by the unfamiliar voice, some of us thought it was another moose and readied their weapons but by the time they aimed at where the voice came from they saw nothing there, the being was already squatting next to Gaz. It was a gray alien of medium height, he had horns facing different directions and scars all over his face. None of us knew who he was, except Gaz.

"Crax?! What are you doing here?!"

"I was just casually waiting for my delivery when I saw the VR&D building collapse. I figured either something happened to you or Zim went overboard again," Crax then turned to the rest of us, "You must be the beings that Zim "enslaved". Hi, I'm Zim's former partner in innovation, technology, and the science of destruction."

Most of us were cautious of him, especially since he admitted to being your equal in terms of crazy.

"Uh, Hi," I was creeped out by him, "I'm Dib."

"Yes," He walked up and started examining me, first at my hand and then he pulled my sleeve and started poking my arm, "I wonder if Zim would mind parting with you, considering he has a spare."

_You can have the Dib-monkey, Crax._

_Zim! Stop interrupting my story, and don't give me away to your crazy friends like I'm some sort of newly discovered Cow-man._

_But you were a Cow-earth-monkey that one time._

_And I still have the scar from getting that toy removed!_ _Anyway..._

"Hey, Crax! Stop playing around with Dib and tell us what you meant by Gir being right!" Gaz demanded.

"Right," Crax turned towards you body, "Zim isn't dead."

"Really?!" I said in shock.

"At least not yet, despite his PAK being broken he hasn't shown any signs of shriveling up from lack of nutrients, meaning the body is still able to feed off the PAK for now. I suspect that Zim will expire soon if left alone," as Crax finished your face started to slightly wrinkle, "...maybe sooner."

"Does that mean you can fix him?" Gaz asked.

"Of course, I just need to get some supplies. Drag Zim towards that direction until you get to a circular clearing. I'll be there soon."

Crax ran off in different direction and left us. We did as he said and brought you to the clearing, which is the plaza you're in now. Soon after, Crax suddenly appeared in front of us with a sack of tools.

"Where'd you come from?" Gaz asked.

"I had to retrieved these from the bunker," Crax replied.

"What?! You said the only way to get in an out of your bunker were through force fields that required great force to pierce, and you don't look like you were just shot out of a cannon."

"Of course, why would I shoot myself out of a cannon? That would be crazy!"

"WHAT?!" It was like watching a matador roll around in red paint while eating a steak in front of a bull, that was on fire, with jet thrusters.

"Before you plan on using my body as a way to repaint Vort, remember that I'm the only one who could save Zim."

Gaz turned away from Crax and punched the ground next to your body, there were cracks and a fist mark left behind, I wasn't surprised. Crax walked to you and propped your body up in a sitting position and started working on your PAK. He laid out several tools beside you and a frame with a holographic picture on it, I noticed an image of a PAK on it.

"How do you know how to fix Zim?" I asked.

"I've experimen-er, treated several Irken PAKs in the past. They are intriguing bio-mechanical machines, being the life-source of an entire race, imagine if one could control it..."

Crax gained a really creepy smile and we back away from him.

"So what are we gonna do now?" Kor asked, it took me a second to realize that she was directing that towards me.

"Why are you asking me?" I replied.

"Should I not?" That's when I realized, they were looking at me like a leader. For once in my life, I was the one who would be respected and listened to. They entrusted me with making all the logical decisions and decide their lives. It was so glorious. It was-

_Dib-worm, stop your incessant babbling already!_

_Come on, let me have my introspective character moment!_

_NO! It's nothing but pointless words I have neither the care nor time for!_

_Fine..._

"I guess we should scavenge for...anything really."

"I have to find and regroup my people," Tel said, "I'll require the assistance of Skoodge and we'll come back here once we've found everyone."

"Kry and I are gonna look for weapons," Daj said.

"I'll go look for anything salvageable then," Kor said.

After that they all went their separate ways. I thought about how great it was to be in charge, the power, so delicious...

* * *

"...glorious power!" Dib finally finished his story to Zim's delight.

"Yes, power is delicious. Where's Gir?" Zim asked.

"He's been here the entire time."

"What?"

"Hi Master!" Gir popped up in front of Zim, wearing his temporarily stuck together PAK casing as a mask, "I'm your sack."

"Gir! Give that back! It's a very important component of the machine that supplies me my life!"

"...I see..." Gir stared at the PAK casing intently before putting it back on and running around in circles.

"Gir! You-Huh? AHHH!" Zim reached out to Gir with his right hand and noticed the brace still attached to it, "The bomb! My right hand! AHHHH!"

"Oh, looks like I forgot to remove it," Crax grabbed Zim's right hand and started unhinging it.

"Quickly, before the timer runs out!"

"What? The timer ran out a long time ago."

"My right hand!"

"Don't worry, Zim, the explosive was just a fake."

"Oh, what?!"

"The purple one had the same reaction, and once again I must repeat what I told her, I'm the only one who can fix you."

"Crax, I'll-"

"Besides, I wouldn't waste an explosive on you two, I need them for my Vortians. I let them out to search for more survivors and supplies and attached explosive collars to their necks," Crax brought out a rectangular box with a number pad and a small screen, "See, I just enter the number of the collar and press this button to make them detonate. You can even watch it!"

Zim watched Crax's demonstration and saw as a helpless Vortian appeared on the screen, the next second its head disappeared.

"Ew, but intriguing, I wonder what it would take to build such devices..."

As Zim and Crax started discussing necessary components for building the exploding collar, there was something that's been itching in Dib mind the entire time, he thought it was time to act on it.

"Zim, there's something I want to talk to you about."

"What, Dib-scum?"

"I think..." Dib took a second to really think about what he was going to say next. There was some doubt, but all reason and logic told him it was right, "I think it's time we give up."

"Hmm, I see, yes...WHAT?!"

"Give up your goal of conquering Irk."

"WHA-I, do you even understand the words coming out of your mouth-hole Dib-worm?! You are asking me, Zim, to give up?! Zim cannot believ-no, I've known you for a long time, I _can_ believe that you would think up such idiocy in that spacious head of yours!"

"Come on, Zim! This is getting ridiculous, even by our standards!"

"Ridiculous?! We're taking about an Invasion, the most serious and important event for us Irkens! You even agreed to the idea!"

"That was when I thought all we were facing were aliens as stupid as you, or at worst, Tak, but things are different now! Tak's group severely overpowers us and if the Irkens can beat them then what chance do we have when we could hardly handle five of them!"

"So you want this to just all stop? Where would we even go, back to the puny rock planet?"

"Yes! You can come too, you even said you couldn't bring yourself destroy Earth."

"I did not!"

"Yes you did, and that means at least I can count on you to not destroy the planet...on purpose...maybe you can live on the moon..."

"I refuse your offer of moon-land! I do not want to hear this insolence anymore! I, Zim, will leave!"

"That's not a good idea during the operation, Zim," Crax said.

"...You win this round, Dib-slime!"

"I'm just going to go away somewhere," Dib started walking away from the stubborn alien but stopped to give Zim a final message, "Zim, I want you to really think what you're getting yourself into this time. I know you won't give a damn about the well being of most of us but think about yourself, remember, you almost died this time. Do you really think you'll survive next time?"

Zim didn't give Dib a retort like he usually did, he just stayed silent. Dib left him to his repairs.

"So, he said you started caring about his home planet. I've never heard about such a phenomenon in your race," Crax was interested in the concept, "...uh, Zim, after this would you mind helping me in some...research-"

"Shut up, Crax, I'm making my brain juices flow."

* * *

"...and then, we unleash the mutated robo-rodents on him and we pepper his body with cheese powder, and watch as they gnaw him alive! Gnaw! Hahahahaha-so what do you think?" Red had spent the majority of the time thinking of counter-invasion plans after learning Zim was on Vort. Meanwhile, Purple had ordered the forces of Irk to prepare for an oncoming threat; fitting the soldiers with armor, loading the weapons, providing ship maintenance. Though as time went by he grew increasingly worried that his friend was becoming the being they were fighting against.

"It sounds like a great plan, except we don't have mutant robo-rodents, or cheese. Seriously, Red, that plan is crazy, and stupid." Purple saw that his friend was going to jump off the deep end soon.

"Good! However, was it crazier and stupider than what Zim would think of?"

"Honestly, no, I'm certain Zim would be dumber than that."

"I will not stop until I out-crazy and out-stupid Zim! Muahahahahahaha!"

"Red, calm down! Please, have a cookie! It's glazed!" Red looked at the sugar loaded treat before taking it and savoring every bite.

"Thank you, I needed that."

"Are you back to normal yet? I don't like someone as crazy as Zim with your power being around."

"I think so. It's just, we've never been invaded before! At most we've had minor rebellions here and there but nothing like this! To make matters worse the one at the head of this destruction if Zim! I have no idea how to deal with him. We send him to a random rock and he contacts us with plans of invasion, before that, he gets sent to Vort and brings back planet destroying mutant that killed the Tallest, twice! Now we ignore the annoying thing and he shows up with increased height and enough power to conquer our colonies!"

"It'll be alright, Red, remember, we're the strongest race in the universe. We destroy stuff and pillage snacks! We have the best soldiers, technology, and snacks. We'll be prepared for whatever Zim throws at us, with snacks, for us, not him. I even sent a ship to Conventia to get reinforcements already."

"Wait, did you just say Conventia?"

"Yes."

"That's it!" Red opened a hologram of their territory with all their colonies.

"Red, what are you doing?"

"Look at all the colonies Zim conquered, he destroyed several colonies like Foodcourtia but left some, like Oberox, alone. It almost seems random, but when you connect all the lines together, it forms...a smiley face!"

"Gasp!"

"And look here, in the middle where we are. If we draw a line from Conventia to Irk, it forms...the nose!"

"What does this mean?"

"It means Conventia will get destroyed before we do, thus we could set a trap!"

"A trap?"

"Yes, Purple. When he gets there, we will use...the button!"

"Why are you being really dramatic?"

"For emphasis! Now toss me another glazed cookie."

* * *

Night finally settled over Vort. Everyone had made it back to the Plaza, all back with various items; Tel and Skoodge found the remaining members of the ZMDA, Daj and Kry found a bunch of weapons, both broken and usable ones, including Daj's G.F.B., Kor came back with a bag of components, some of which were most likely junk. Gaz had miraculously found the GameSlave Zim gave her and it even worked, she was playing it to relieve the stress from the day. Dib was trying to find any sort of light source, after hours of finding nothing, he just settled with using Gir. Kor and Crax tinkered with Gir so that he would glow brighter, he was amused with his bright self and everyone else encircled him.

"Alright, that's as much as I can do for today," Crax put his tools away and back away from Zim, "You're going to have to wait until tomorrow for me to finish, but you can move around. I've found several problems with your PAK you know, and not just from the fall, it seems several functions of your PAK have been in disrepair for a while, as if it had absorbed the force of several crashes. Some of the broken functions include your spider legs, some lasers, and a weird knobby thing."

"Yes, I realized, the Dibship doesn't have the necessary maintenance that my base had and I had tasked Gir to bring the necessary tools and machines to repair them," Zim looked at Gir who was lying there while flailing his arms, "I should have expected the nest of ladybugs."

Gir opened his mouth and a small cluster of ladybugs flew out.

"Your SIR unit is one of the most peculiar and strange piece of tech I've ever seen, so strange that I do not even want to think about how it functions."

Zim got up and stretched his body and moved around after staying stiff for so long. After a while he was working out the aches and was making sure his squeedily-spooch didn't deflate.

"Yes, everything feels good, I feel rejuvenated! Yes! Now noth-AHHHHH!" Zim felt a sharp pain the moment he raised his arm.

"Oh, your left arm might be broken also, but that's not my expertise."

Zim continued screaming for an extended period of time until Gaz threw a rag at him to shut him up. He used it create a sling for himself, it was still in pain but the pain was subsiding.

"Alright, now that that's done, it has come to my knowledge that some of you do not want to continue with this conquest. This knowledge came from one of you, who will be anonymous," Zim was circling the plaza, looking at each member of his crew, "It was Dib-worm!"

"Hey!" Dib shouted.

"I'll admit that I don't care for your petty wants and needs, but I've been thinking as well. The Dib-monkey's whines have made me curious, so now, I will allow each of you to speak of any complaints you have so far."

Everyone stayed silent for a little bit, at first Zim thought it was because no one could think of anything to say, then he found out it was because they were all thinking about the several reasons they had.

"First off, I was dragged along because you're stupidly stubborn," Gaz was the first one to speak.

"I'm finding that I'm dying way more times traveling with you than living on Fefa," Kor said.

"I've stayed because I am a being of my word," Tel said, "However, if given a choice I'd want to leave, you're a terrible employer."

"I have to spend my time living with a drone I can't shoot at," Daj said.

"This whole idea was ridiculous from the start," Dib said, "At first I just wanted to go into space again and didn't think you'd actually get far, and I'll admit that once you did, the idea of conquering an evil alien race sounded cool, now, in retrospect, this whole idea is ridiculous!"

As Zim was about to speak he was interrupted by them, and they continued to give their reasons as to why they wanted to stop in the same order.

"I have my Vendetta List back, which was why I went along with this."

"I have experienced many new things for the first time after leaving the planet, almost all of them killed me."

"You have introduced my people to the art of combat, I see nothing good coming out of it once this is over."

"Kry has a hard time digesting the food on the ship."

"I lost my hand! Though I'll admit this robo-hand is pretty cool."

"Trying to live with you on a daily basis is torturous and I could just feel my brain cells depleting every hour."

"Pretty much all your plans include me getting killed or mutilated in some way."

"My people don't have their 'prophet' to listen to anymore so they don't really want to be continuing with you."

"Well actually I found this today," Kor pulled out a voice-box with a bunch of wires, cables, and tech attached to it.

"Screw off!" said the voice coming from it, Tel's people immediately recognized it.

"Oh, never mind then." As Tel finished his sentence, Daj started up again.

"Your training room and armory are incredibly lacking for this type of operation."

"We will die the next time we see Tak!"

This continued on for a long while until everyone said their last round of grievances.

"We've probably missed months of skool, so looks like I'm repeating a year."

"I thought I left Fefa to avoid getting killed."

"We should be working on restoring our civilization, I've found that my time with you has been counterproductive."

"Drones suck."

"I am sick of all the big head jokes you keep making!"

After everyone had finished Zim just kept the same glare that he had when they were ten minutes into their complaints. Skoodge came up to him and offered the only words of support amongst the crew,

"Sir, I will always be loyal to your tallness," Skoodge saluted Zim to finish it off, Zim still had the same look on his face until he spoke.

"After thinking about and hearing all your complaints, I have come to a conclusion," Zim became silent and slowly walked around the area again, "Nothing will stop my Invasion! All shall bow down to me and sniff at my elite superiority! So you all can either get stranded on this rock or come with me on my conquest!"

"Alright."

"Fools-wait, what?" Zim wasn't expecting such a response, essentially just a plain okay, and from Gaz. "Weren't you just complaining about everything that has happened so far?"

"Of course, I had to make it clear because you're dense to a stupider degree than stupid. Also, just because I have tons of reason as to why this idea was stupid doesn't mean I need just as many to go with you," Gaz threw a metallic sculpture at Zim's feet, carved using a laser-sword. It was in the shape of an Irken's head with the antennas slicked back and with a metal attachment, "All I need is one."

"I'm going too, because of this," Kor pulled out a green vile, "Apparently, whoever we're up against has developed a weapon that can kill Fefians."

"And you want to destroy them all to protect your people?" Tel asked.

"No, I want to take it all and introduce them as weapons capable of killing on Fefa, causing conflicts with highers risks and, with any luck, war and death."

"Oh. Well my people has gotten the words of the Dibship back so they'll follow you and I am bound to my word anyway."

"Drone, living with you makes me wish I could disrespect my brother's wishes," Daj said, "But if going with you means I get to shoot drones by the dozens then it'll be worth it. Kry agrees too."

Zim was surprised at first but quickly regained his composure.

"Yes, all of you have come to your senses and clearly realized that my plans are the best," No one felt like combating Zim's ego right now and just went along with him. He then grabbed Gir like a flashlight, "Now I must gloat. Haha, Dib-wor-hey, where'd he go?"

Zim had shined Gir in the spot where Dib was sitting to find it empty. Everyone looked around them but Dib was nowhere to be found. Zim shined Gir farther back and saw a glimpse of flailing legs at the corner of a building.

"Over there!" Gaz shouted, she got up and ran, shoving Zim and taking Gir from him and using the robot like a flashlight. Everyone immediately followed Gaz, as they turned the corner the light revealed that Dib's arms had been tied and his mouth was gagged by some sort of brown rope as he was being dragged away until it disappeared into a building. Everyone followed him into the dark room.

"Dib! Where are you?!" Gaz called out. The room lit up as power flowed into it. In the center was a circular machine with triangular objects that ran along the rim. On top was a cylinder where Dib's head was shoved in and where they saw the identity of the kidnapper.

"The monkey..." Zim said coldly and disdainfully, recalling that this mess was its fault.

"Can I have your autograph?!" Gir shouted, "I love your show!"

"Be quiet Gir!"

The monkey let out a loud screech as Gaz was starting to run towards its but the monkey pulled two levers and the triangular spikes aimed towards her and the others. Zim pulled Gaz back as a small cylinder jetted out from each spike like a blaster barrel, it started charging like one too.

"Everyone move!" Crax shouted. Everyone quickly jumped away from the area the spikes were pointing at. White lasers fired from there tips before colliding with each other, creating a loud bang and a shockwave that pushed them back.

When Zim and the others looked around there were expecting destroyed sections of the building, laser-burns, or melted metal, but all they saw was a portal. It appeared from the collision of lasers, just spinning and spinning, the only thing they could see was black covering the entire thing, until they saw a hand.

It was silver, then another hand appeared, followed by a head, then the body. The figure that stood before them was in a silver and black jumpsuit, equipped with various utilities, and also weapons. It wore a helmet over its head, a plain metallic helm with nothing but slits for eyes and a few more, possibly for breathing. It reached up and grabbed its helmet and started removing it until its face was finally revealed to everyone.

"Sir," Skoodge said, "Isn't that a-"

"Human?" Gaz couldn't believe it, "And doesn't he look...familiar?"

Zim was shocked, he knew who this being was, how he wished he had never known this being in the first place. The eyes, the hair, the stupid grin, without a doubt, it was his worst nightmare.

"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"


	28. Intergalactic Space Cop of DOOM

"-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO-"

Zim was going for several minutes already. His voice reaching an ear piercing decibel causing all his allies to cover their ears in protection while Gir danced. It was the scream of nightmares.

"-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO-"

This didn't phase the strange human though, he just stood there, with his stupid grin. Eventually he stretched his arms out forward and walked towards Zim. The Irken was still in traumatic shock to even register the incoming danger. Finally, the human was in front of Zim, he wrapped his arms around his alien body and squeezed, it was a hug.

"-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO-"

"It's so great to see you alive, buddy," The human spoke in the most nightmarish and annoying voice Zim thought possible.

"-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO-"

Zim was still screaming even after the human had made body contact with him. He finally stopped when the human squeezed harder.

"-OOOO-Huh? What's this? Human embrace?! By..._you_. Help! Someone save m-AHHHHHHHH! My spine! It curves in a way that causes pain! My Irk, please, someone save me, Zim!"

Gaz was the first to realize that Zim's scream had stop, the more obnoxious one at least. She saw the strange being holding Zim hostage and wanted to aim a blaster at him, but unfortunately she didn't prepare one. She could only throw something, but she didn't have anything on her to throw either, so she used the next best thing, a Skoodge.

The small alien flew through the air, but before colliding with the smiling face of the human, the monkey grabbed Skoodge out of mid-air and flung him back at Gaz. She ducked, causing the Irken missile to hit Daj who was behind her. The monkey stood between her and Zim in some sort of weird fight stance, preventing her from doing anything.

"Who are you?" Gaz recognized the features of the human, they resembled the traits of someone she saw on Earth from time to time, but she never bothered nor cared to learn who he was.

"Oh hi, you must be one of Zim's friends!" The human was still holding onto Zim tightly, "You look sort of familiar, have you ever have spider legs? I'm certain I've met a grotesque version of you before."

"Let go of him already!"

"Huh? Oh, Zim!" He released the embrace, "I'm sorry, I forgot I was still hugging you. I was just so happy that I held on due to instinct! Oh wait, I do recognize you!"

Zim fell down and quickly backed away from the suited human. He stood behind Gaz and grabbed Gir with his right arm, holding him out like a weapon.

"You! Why are you here!? How is it even possible!?" Zim yelled, "Why aren't you lip-eating a squirrel right now!?"

"So you do know me in this dimension! Yay!"

"I wish I didn't! ...did you just say dimension?"

"AAHH! Air, sweet air!" On top of the circular structure that the monkey had made, Dib had finally freed his head and could breathe once again, "Thanks for freeing me guys, it's not like I was suffocating or anything."

"Not now, Dib-monkey, we have more things to worry about than the needs of your puny lungs!"

"Hi Dib! It's good to see you again!" The human had turned to face Dib and waved his hand. The sight of another person greatly confused him, what's more he remembered who he was. An annoying being with red hair whom was blown up by him and Zim via goo during their childhood.

"What the-Keef? Is that really you?" Dib jumped down and got a closer look at the human, it was either the real Keef or a really good clone, "You're a clone!"

"Ye-what?"

"Don't play dumb! I know it's possible! I've read my dad's files! That's the only possible explanation for this!"

"Well, I'm not a clone, but you're a little correct, I guess."

"I've got him!" Zim had grabbed the red-headed being with his good arm when Dib distracted him, "Quick, everyone, kill him now before he exists in my universe for another second!"

"We've got some problems on our end," Kor replied. Zim turned his head to find his crew disabled by the monkey. Daj and Kry were trapped in sacks, Kor, Gaz, and Skoodge were tied together, Tel was in the monkey's headlock and was continuously getting punched, and Gir was placed upside-down.

"You useless pieces of flesh and whatever other substances exists within your bodies!"

"Zim, I didn't know you wanted another hug," Keef broke Zim's hold, "The truth is, I wanted one too, but you can't do it when you're only using one hand. Come here!"

"No, NO! Get away! Noooooooo!" Zim found himself in another embrace by the human, "Curse you! Curse your entire specie's ability to use both limbs!"

"You're a bit squishier in this dimension."

"Get off of me! My body density is not for you to know!"

"Hold on, did you just say dimension?" Dib asked.

"Yeah. Haha, clones, you're so funny Dib," he said, "You sound just like the nightmare you."

"Nightmare me? Holy crap! You're from the Nightmare realm!"

"We like to call it the Nightmare Dimension now, it sounds bigger."

"B-but how's that even possible?! How can you even get here?!"

"Through the portal! See, ever since you came to the Nightmare Dimension, there existed a waveform between our Dimension and yours. Dib, the Nightmare version of you, and I created the machine that would transport a mass from between Dimensions. However, my mass was too great to cross over and would make the portal very unstable, so we had to send Sir Chuckie Higglies."

"Sir Chuckie Higglies?"

"My monkey!" Keef's monkey let out a screech of confirmation, "I instructed my monkey to recreate the machine at any means necessary. It would create a stable link between our dimensions and allow me to complete my mission."

Zim kept squirming within Keef's grip until finally being able to release himself from the dreaded hug.

"Finally!" Zim screamed in joy, "Now tell Zim why you're ruining my universe with your existence before I ripped your ocular organs from your head like the equally annoying other you!"

"Of course. I'm hunting an evil tyrant from my dimension."

"Who is?"

"The Employer."

* * *

The Irken Armada, the most powerful force in the known universe. The planets they've conquered, thousands, the lives they've enslaved, millions, the beings they've killed, billions. For eons they have been the fist that made beings quiver, only the few opposed their rule while the many watched their bodies cease to live.

Now the infamous empire stood on the brink of destruction, at the mercy of a few. The crazy few. The very crazy few. The very crazy and annoying few.

"I hate Zim."

"We all do, Red, we all do," Purple and Red were standing in their Tower of Supreme Ruling and Tallness as each Irken on the planet was armed and geared.

"So every Irken on the planet is mobilized?" Red asked.

"Yes, every Irken, every fleet in orbit, every Mega Doomer is online."

"Alright, what if-"

"Everything will be fine, we are the strongest in the universe after all."

"But we've never been opposed like this! What if our laser bounce off of them like some reflector shield thing?! What if they have some sort of paralyzing chemical agent that only affects Irkens?! What if their soldiers have some sort of ability to mutate into gigantic hulking beasts?!"

"Come on, Red, don't be ridiculous!"

"Zim created a giant blob monster by himself that ate two of our past Tallests."

"...I'll start preparing our needlessly large laser cannons."

Purple turned and was going to order the lasers to be prepped, leaving Red to overlook the troops mobilizing around his tower. Despite the several reassurances by Purple and the periods of snacking on cookies, he still couldn't help but wonder whether this was really enough.

"Huh, why are you-wait, you look familiar," Red turned towards Purple's voice, he saw that Purple was obstructed by a lone Irken, "Did we use you to test our bombs once? That time when we ran out of test dummies?"

"No, no that Irken had that weird bent in his antennae. I think this is the one we accidentally sent on a recon mission on a star."

"That was an accident?"

"Officially."

"Right."

"**Enough!**" The Irken spoke, his voice was loud and boisterous. The Tallest didn't appreciate the command.

"Okay, someone has earned another accidental mission on a star."

"Nah, not a star, a black hole!" Red said.

"Ooo, I like that idea, Red!"

"**You fools!**" The Irken spoke again, "**I am not one of you low-life form puppets!**"

"...Red, what's worse than a black hole to scout?"

"**How dare you conspire against me! You foo-**

Hey, can you shut up already an let someone else talk!

**You dare interrupt me? The great-**

Idiot that's ruining everything?"

"...Purple, am I Zimming out again?" Red looked confusedly at the Irken, "That Irken is talking to himself, in different voices."

"I'm hearing it too," Purple said.

"Who-What are you?"

"_The masters in your shadow._

The benders of your will.

**The true overlords!**

WE ARE THE CONTROL BRAIN!" The Irken started laughing in four simultaneous voices.

"Oh, you're that Irken we threw in the Control Brain room, and judging by your glowing eyes, four voices, and large tentacle sticking out of your PAK, you must be possessed by the Control Brain."

"Yes."

"AHHHHHHHHHH-Scream too, Purple-AHHH!"

"Okay, AHHHHHHHHH-" Purple and Red got on their knees and begged.

"Please, don't kill us!"

"**Shut up!**" The Control Brain possessed Irken said, "**You dare order the almighty Control Brain!**

Stop yelling already, we didn't come here to kill the Tallest anyway.

_Right, we only came for information._

**But, but my almighty tentacle! I must strike someone down with it!**

You did, to this Irken, nine times. We told you to stop because we needed the body, and then you hit him again."

"Control Brains, why did you need the body to contact us? Couldn't you have broadcast your message or something?"

"It is because we need to speak to you two privately as the current Tallests.

THE MATTER REQUIRES GREAT SECRECY.

_Or else all your Irken lives will perish._"

"Okay."

"We know of this threat against our planet.

AND OF ZIM!

_We've monitored you for a while now._

**And we know of your supposed plan.**"

"You...you do?"

"**Of course!**

_We wish for you to discuss it with us in more detail._

Also, could you please come into our chamber, this Irken body makes me feel inferior."

"Yes, Control Brains."

* * *

"The Employer? Who the hell is the Employer?" Dib's brain was still trying to process all the information he had heard. A Keef from another dimension from his head is hunting a tyrant is is now hugging Zim. Dib thought he had witness the weirdest moment of his life, even more than seeing the Yeti in a penguin ballet, he thought that was a dream, but he still has the white hairs from the performance.

"The Employer is an evil Bio-organic warlord that threatened the galactic spaces of the nightmare realm with his cyber-moose army!" Nightmare Keef said.

"I see, but why the Employer? That's a pretty dumb name for an evil overlord."

"I dunno."

Zim finally wriggled free from Keef's grasp.

"You! So this is your fault!" Zim shouted, "The employer came from your stupid, disgusting dimension and messed with my PAK! Now I can die at any moment!"

"Oh no, does it hurt?"

"No, but I will still dest-"

"I can fix it."

"What?! You lie!"

"No, I can. You see, in my dimension, I joined the Intergalactic Rescue Kommand. It's also known as I.R.K., the planet where my version of you comes from."

"Intergalactic Rescue Kommand?" Dib said, "I thought the Nightmare Dimension was just a place where Nightmarish creatures want to claw through my skull, not a bad sci-fi movie."

"I passed the academy and was immediately sent out to a unit, where I met my partner, Nightmare Zim! Along with our siren beacon, Nightmare Gir, we dispensed justice and saved lives across the galaxy!"

"This doesn't sound like a Nightmare realm, at all."

"Well I'm disgusted," Zim said, "The thoughts that somewhere in another dimension, a being in my image is saving lives and galaxies churn my inner organs like butter goo! Surely nightmares will haunt me for cycles to come."

"We became the top officers in the universe!" Keef said, "Then we got assigned to hunt down the most dangerous criminal in the known universe, the Employer, whom we tracked to earth. With the help of Dib, the Nightmare Potato, we-"

"Woah, hold on!" Dib interrupted, "In the Nightmare Dimension, Gaz is a hideous spider, you and Zim are heroes of the universe, and I'm a potato?!"

"I was bacon!" Gir said.

"He didn't look like a potato when I saw him, just very round and...lumpy...and reminded me...of fries for some...reason..."

"If it makes you feel better, Dib, he was also incredibly crazy," Keef said comfortingly.

"It doesn't."

"Alright. Long story short, we stopped the Employer's plan, but at the cost of my home planet, and Zim. He bravely gave his life saving his favorite planet."

"You sound pretty happy when you were saying that."

"After Zim died, the council on I.R.K. thought I was too sad and injected me with the Nick virus, forcibly making me smile and speak cheerfully for the rest of my life! It's incredibly painful!"

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Zim's loss hit me hard. I was so devastated that I turned Gir into a punch bowl, and punch doesn't even exist in our dimension. Zim was my partner, my best friend, my lover."

"I see," Zim said, "I'm going to go scalp myself now so that I may pour acid into my skull since my brain has been TAINTED with knowledge that I will never forget!"

"That's a bit harsh, Zim," Dib said.

"I would rather be in relations with you, Dib-worm, than any form of _him_."

"You remind me of my Zim so much, Zim," Keef said, "You said that the night we invited Dib to drink judgment-impairing liquids. I still remember the smell of fries-"

"Okay now I need brain acid!" Dib said, "Just tell us why the Employer is here in our dimension."

"Yeah, alright. As it turned out, the Employer was never killed in the planet's explosion. Zim was transmitting the last moments of his battle to me, in it you can see the Employer getting sent through a portal. I showed the council but they didn't think it was important, they said different dimensions weren't their jurisdiction, but I couldn't accept that, I wanted revenge!"

"Portal, you mean like the one here?"

"Yes, the portal was going to let him cross dimensions. He had gotten the plans from Vort and built it on Earth. His goal, it was to not to conquer the universe, but to conquer every dimension!"

"Wow, that's even more crazy than any of Zim's goals! How is that even possible though?"

"That portal would've allowed him to travel to any dimension, at any time, choosing the rights moments to take control of the dimension!"

"The power to travel to different dimensions," Zim said, "I would love to acquire such a device."

"I know about that device," Crax said, "It's a very experimental project stored in the VR&D. I always watched the experiments as they pushed some poor subject through the portal only to come out as shredded cheese on the other side."

"Yes, I was certain that your Vort was working on a version of the portal as well and the Employer would want it. So I sent Chuckie to steal the components necessary to make one to allow me to cross over. Now we'll wait until the Employer comes to retrieve the machine so that I may battle him!" Keef said.

"His pawns have already left," Zim said.

"Then we'll wait until he comes back for the machine. He can't do anything without it after all."

"Or he could've stolen the blueprints for the device instead," Crax said.

"...I have a confession, I was never the smart one of my unit."

"I'm not surprised," Dib said, "Still, how were you able to track him to our dimension?"

"I still remember the day you crossed over into the Nightmare Dimension. According to my Dib, thanks to that, the wavelengths of our dimensions became more in sync. This meant that your dimension is the easiest to cross into, and it was why the Employer chose it as his first target."

"So this is all Dib-scum's fault!" Zim said.

"You could say that. Of course I had to make certain that he was indeed in this dimension, not physically though, despite years of trying to recreate the machine, Dib and I didn't have the technology for that. Instead, I traveled to this dimension through one of your minds."

"You did? When?! Zim demands that you tell him!"

"According to the date, it was two to three years ago..."

"You're transitioning into a flashback aren't you?! Stop it! I hate those!"

"Actually, no, Dib was able to monitor me when I crossed over. I have the recording and I'm going to show you all."

"Oh, that's better then."

Keef reached into his suit and pulled out a box. He pressed a button and it flattened out and projected an image into the air. Immediately, Dib, Zim, and Gaz recognized it, it was their middle skool. Back when Zim still had the drive to conquest Earth, when Dib was still battling Zim over the fate of the planet, and back when Gaz would see their stupid fights everyday and call them idiots. It was also when Tak had re-inserted herself into their daily lives. There were three screens, one showing Dib, the other showing Zim, and one showing Gaz.

Gaz noticed that Dib was standing next to a bulletin board on his screen, and on it was the date. It was that day. Dib and Zim had noticed the date also, both with a shocked look on their face. They stayed like that for a moment until Dib spoke.

"Hey, it this the time with..."

"...the noodles," Zim said disdainfully. He then recalled the painful images of that day.

Gaz only had faint memories of that day though. The only things she remembered clearly from that day walking to school and then suddenly being home, everything else was just a blur with fuzzy images and feelings. She always felt that it was important. After hearing everything Keef said, she made an assumption as to this gap in her memory, she hoped she wasn't right.

"Keef, just who's head did you jump into?" She asked.

"Yours."

"WHAT?!"

She was right, and he had said it so joyfully too. Keef started playing the video.


	29. DOOM Noodles

"Look at these Earth filth, Gir. So pitiful, so disgusting, they do not deserve the privilege of increasing their height naturally! Today, however, will change all that, because today, all these humans will shrivel! SHRIVEL! Shrivel at my might in their own liquids!"

It was only morning and Zim had already garnered the attention of the human middle skoolers that walked by him, each one staring confusedly at the green boy as he continued with his monologue. After Zim stopped, he turned to his faithful robot companion, cleverly disguised as a normal Earth boy.

"Gir, I have cleverly designed your incredibly accurate human disguise. With it, you have successfully infiltrated the skool, and inside your head is a bomb."

Gir let out a shocking gasp, "Oh no!"

"Your head will be fine as long as you remove it before it detonates. Now, you must get to the cafeteria and release the bomb inside the Central Dump Vat, it's where the skool keeps the main food source of the day."

"Okay."

"You have to do it since I can't skip these classes again. Last time I was caught by the Bitters-human, and she did _stuff_ to Zim, stuff that I never want to speak about or experience ever again," Gir just stared at Zim blankly with his fake, puffy eyeballs, "You understand, Gir? The only reason I'm telling you this again is because you kept forgetting the plan every two minutes while we were walking here."

"Yes."

"Repeat the plan to me."

"The monkey's peanut butter divides the rocket on the swing. Bacon."

"...Gir, that wasn't even remotely close. All you have to do is drop the bomb into the Central Dump Vat. I even led you to the cafeteria doors, it's right there!"

Zim pointed to the double doors with a sign that said "Cafeteria" on it. As soon as he did the bell rang, signaling for Zim to retreat to his classroom.

"Remember, Gir, go through here and put the bomb in the bucket," Zim saw Gir nod and hesitantly walked away, leaving Gir standing in front of the Cafeteria.

"Did master say to go into the Cafeteria and drop the bomb into the Central Dump Vat, or waffles?"

Gir stood there for a while, doing absolutely nothing, staring intently at the doors as if it were one of the wonders of the galaxy, until the hall monitor appeared. The hall monitor was a tall, middle aged man with cybernetic attachments to his face and limbs. He wore the orange sash to indicate his status and was a man of duty.

"You there, why aren't you in CLASS!?" The hall monitor shouted. Gir stayed silent. The hall monitor stared at Gir, finding his features...weird. The skin was leathery, the eyes puffy and pooping out of the skull, his hair made of a yarn-like substance, and cotton protruding from his chest. There was only one explanation, "You must be that new foreign kid that's suppose to come today."

The hall monitor pulled out a clipboard and flipped through a list.

"Yes, Hans G...something something...I can't read well. Your class is room B789X24R, get to it!"

Gir saluted and started walking away. As the hall monitor turned away he found another boy roaming his halls.

"You there! Why aren't you in class!?"

The boy turned and faced him, sighing in relief.

"O, zank you. 'Ello, I am da new foreign student, eh. I huv lurst mi wayo to le classes, guten. May yoose help Hans la gewd sir?"

"...YOU LIE! You're a trespasser! And all trespassers must be...ERADICATED!"

The foreign boy watched as shoulder mounted flamethrowers appeared on the body of the big man.

"AAAAHHH! AAAAHHH! AAAAHHH! DA BURNING! LE BURNING! EEEEHHHHHH!"

_What was the point in showing us this you vile, earth-scum?_

_Oh no reason, I just like watching you._

_...I did not think that my perception of you could get any creepier, it is unfortunate that I was proven wrong._

* * *

"I still can't believe that Ms. Bitters has been our teacher for three years now."

"I can understand her getting a promotion each year, but I think it's weirder that we're always stuck with the same people...unfortunately."

The brown haired girl with a floral design on her shirt had shot a glance at Zim as he was walking into the room as she said that. She then turned back to the orange-haired boy with a purple headband she was talking to. Zim went to his usual seat for his homeroom class. A classroom that looked just like every classroom he's ever been in. It was done on purpose by the school to highlight and prepare the students for the bleak monotony of everyday life that awaited them. He had been stuck with the same teacher and the same pitiful humans that he wanted to enslave more and more as each day went by. He wouldn't have minded this repetition as much though if it didn't also bring along an annoying worm.

"Get your tweezers away from me, Dib! You shall not steal my skin particles for your sick collection!" Zim shouted at the big headed human that stood behind him. He had been hiding behind Zim's desk with tweezers, hoping to secretly steal parts of his alien DNA.

"One, it's not for my sick collection, it's so I can get DNA evidence to prove your otherworldly origins," Dib retorted, "And two, NEVER! Even if I'm the only one who thinks you're an alien, I will always stand between you and your sinister plans against the Earth and its inhabitants!"

"You leave Zim's sinister plans out of it!"

"Aha, so you do have one! What is it this time, Zim? Liquifying our skin to prevent us from holding in our organs, hacking our phones to brainwash us through our texting fingers, death ponies!?"

"No, but they're all very good ideas, but no, you're wrong! My plan is far more genius for someone of my superiority!"

"What is it?"

"I plan on dropping a b-Oh! You almost tricked Zim into revealing his plan! Too bad I'm too smart to fall for your big-headed mind games!"

"My head is not b-ARRRGH"

Dib was cut-off by the sound of knives on a chalkboard, the screech penetrating the eardrums of every being in the room, except for the source, Ms. Bitters.

"Class has started you wastes of space," Ms. Bitters said, "Dib, go back to your seat and try not to be too crazy today."

Dib did as he was told, knowing that disobeying Ms. Bitters was not a choice made by the living, or the dead if rumors were true. She went on to take role and started the day's lecture on black holes and how it was a vacuum of nothingness, much like her heart.

Zim's observation about everything being the same was not completely correct, however. There was one very, very, very frustrating change in his daily life that happened a couple of years ago when someone found him. He had gotten rid of her once, but she only returned to increase the mayhem in Zim's life in order to enact vengeance. Today, she sat in her usual seat, cleverly acting as if she was but a normal human girl. She always snickered to herself, usually it was a signal that things would not be good for Zim today.

"_...Why are you narrating everything?"_

"_It livens up the story by giving insight of the mentality of the character, Dib, and I'm also the one who knows Zim's insides the best."_

"_There are so many ways to interpret that sentence with the drone, all of which disturb me."_

"_Shut up, lizard-stink! I was almost done forgetting your existence to alleviate my bulging brain aches!"_

* * *

Gaz felt something...strange. It happened ever since she stepped inside the building. She just felt so unnatural today. Her mind felt scrambled, she didn't even notice when her teacher started talking. She was a tall human with blond hair and a cheery smile. The bright glow that seemed to be radiating from her always annoyed her morning students.

"Alright class, today we're getting a new student," she said. One of the students raised his hands, "Yes, Billy?"

"Why should we care?" said the boy.

"Because the skool can't afford to have you all treat this student like the last one."

"What last one?"

"The boy sitting next to you."

"He doesn't count as a human being."

"...You're going to become a terrible human being, Billy. Now everyone else who has a shred of humanity in them, please welcome Hans G. Irkoi Cheesuntobot Rotebanka Z78tu."

On the teacher's queue, a puffy face student walked in with bulging eyes. His strange feature immediately triggered several whispers from the students.

"What's wrong with his face?"

"Is one eye lower than the other?"

"Did you guys hear the number in his name, that's pretty cool."

"Is...Is that an antennae?"

"He must be _really_ foreign."

"Settle down, students! You can spread your hateful rumors after class," The teacher said, "Hans, would you like to say anything?"

Gir didn't say anything. He just stared at straight forward. His white, puffy, stuffed eyeballs wobbling. They were soulless, and the continued staring had only made each student feel as if the joy of life was slowly being sucked away, all except for one, but she faced her own problems with the new student.

_Please no_, Gaz thought. She knew exactly who it was, and it only added to the list of things that made this day bad. First her stupid headache prevented her from playing videogames before class, then she learned from the nurse that headaches are no longer considered a serious medical problem by the skool anymore, and now it was likely she was going to get mixed up in one of Zim's stupid plans. After the awkward silence was over, the teacher motioned Gir to take his seat, right next to Gaz.

_Just ignore it, Gaz_, she thought to herself, _maybe he won't do anything...now if only he wasn't staring at me._

The moment Gir sat down he turned to face Gaz, continuing his puffy stare that pierced souls. The minutes that felt like hours to Gaz were mind numbingly painful. Gaz was going to snap if Gir said anyt-

"Are you going to dance for me again?"

Fortunately, the teacher spoke before Gaz could react.

"Mr. Cheesuntobot Rotebanka Z78tu, I will not tolerate such rebellious behavior in my class! If you're so eager to share your inner thoughts then please solve the problem on the board!" The teacher motioned for Gir to come up to the board. He did as he was commanded and she handed him a marker. Gir looked at the complex equation that was written on the board, a mixture of numbers, variables, binary, and Greek letters. Gir didn't care about any of that however, he just saw an open marker and wrote what was on his mind.

"Oh my god, you actually wrote an answer. Well just because you can write something quickly doesn't mean it's...wait..." The teacher pulled out a reference book from her desk and flipped through the pages and started mumbling to herself, "The P is carried here, the exponents are added and placed in the quadrahedrylicalixon equation for maximum science. Wow, you got it right! The answer is P times I times G! And you did all so quickly without showing any work, it's like your brain is a computer! You must be...a super genius!"

Suddenly a big button appeared on the wall and the teacher pushed it. The sound of sirens blared in the room as well as red, blinding lights consistently flashing. The windows were shut and barred and the door was bolt shut, only to be unbolted a second later. The sirens and lights stopped when the door slammed open. A box taped to a skateboard and tied to a string rolled into the room. The teacher picked Gir up and placed him in the box and tugged the string.

"I'm sorry for the box, Hans, we got another budget cut last year," The teacher waved as the box was rolled out of the room by the string. Billy's hand went up once Gir left, "Yes, Billy?"

"I thought this was English class."

* * *

"Tell me your plan."

"No."

"Tell me your plan."

"No."

"Tell me your plan."

"No."

"Tell me your plan."

"No."

"Tell me your pl-"

"Dib-worm, can't you try to spy on my plans through some inferior earth technology like you usually do?" Zim's first class had just ended and was planning on retrieving a few things from his locker before checking on Gir's progress, unfortunately he found an annoying human waiting in front of his locker. The insufferable monkey was then continuously sucking on his noggin for knowledge while simultaneously blocking Zim's path. "Instead you're making my brain continuously hear your shrieks as I stand in these filthy halls!"

"I would, if I didn't get most of my spy-gear confiscated last Tuesday, thanks to _someone_."

"My clever manipulation of the tall authorities was ingenious!"

"All you did was told them that I had spy gear."

"Genius!"

"Whatever, just tell me your plan."

"Why must you keep insisting that I have an incredible plan that would cause your and your species' great suffering? I don't have a plan!"

"What the hell are you planning now, Zim?" The voice came from behind him. A scornful, female voice that both Zim and Dib recognized as belonging to the source of much of their physical pain.

"Gaz-human? What are you doing here? And Zim has no plan!"

"Don't act like you don't know. Gir was just in my class!"

"What?! That's not where he's suppose to be-I mean, what are you talking about. Gir is my simple robo-er normal dog that is not in this skool."

"Zim, you have a bunch of alien technology, but all your disguises are made from fabric and cotton. That stupidity is your trademark."

"My disguises are g-"

"Shut up! Listen, I'm not feeling well today, so if you do anything that involves me, you will feel wrath and fury of the darkest kind."

"You don't scare me, Ga-" Gaz stepped towards Zim and caused him to flinch. He got the message. Gaz then left Zim and his brother alone and continued to her next class.

"So Gir is wandering the halls of the skool. If I find him then I could reveal his robot origins and get proof of your extraterrestrial existence," Dib said.

"Why did you explain your plan in front of me?" Zim asked.

"I don't know...but I'll find him!"

"You will not, because of this!" Zim threw something soft at Dib's face. It bounced offed and fell to the floor. Dib looked down and picked it up.

"This is just an eraser." Dib didn't notice Zim's arm that hovered above him and opened the locker. Piles of books fell onto Dib, burying him in a sea of paper doom. Zim then ran off to find his robot. Dib was shoving books off of him, wondering why Zim would have so many books in his locker in the first first place. He finally saw the cheap, iridescent lights that illuminated the skool hallways, only to see the only other person in the skool who would infrequently talk to him.

"For all of Zim's stupidity, shortcomings, stupidity, incompetence, and stupidity, it always amuses me how he frequently bests you," She said.

"What do you want, Tak?" Dib said as he got himself up. The female Irken was in her human disguise as usual, pale skin, blue hair, black clothing, all provided by some sort of hologram projection device and infinitely more full-proof than Zim's cheap disguises.

"I couldn't help but overhear you asking Zim about some sort of plan. Now, seeing as how I take much enjoyment out of screwing with him until he is but a feeble mite, would you mind telling me all you know about it?"

"Even if I did know something, I wouldn't tell you! You're Irken too, Tak, meaning it is my duty to stop you as it is to stop Zim!"

"I see, well you're of no use to me then."

"Ahh!" Tak pushed Dib back into the pile of books and proceeded to cut open more lockers around him to cause more books to fall. Tak turned around and walked away from the human engulfed in an ocean of literature.

"Mimi," Tak called out for her SIR unit. A shadow quickly moved towards her and manifested into her personal robot, "I know I overheard Gaz saying that Gir was in the skool. Find him."

* * *

Gaz was spending the remaining time before class in the bathroom, continuously splashing water on her face in a vain attempt to ease her headache. She stopped when she saw gray hairs floating in the sink. It dawned on her that the water in the bathrooms of this skool would only make her headache worse. She grabbed a paper towel and started wiping her face.

_Just stay calm and focus,_ Gaz thought, _maybe you can work through this headache. Just close your eyes and count to ten. One, two, three, fo-_

_I'm in!_

"What the!?" Gaz quickly turned around. No one was there, she thought she had heard someone. She slowly started walking towards the door.

_Hello, hello? Can you hear me?_

Gaz stopped, she was certain she heard someone that time. It was a male voice, but what would a boy be doing in the girls' bathroom and revealing his location? She wasn't going to think about that yet, she just began kicking open the stalls.

_Yes, I can hear you. _

_Who am I right now?_

_My sister from that dimension._

_Good, it's not ideal but I can make use of her._

There were two voices now. She heard them clearly but no one was in the bathroom with her.

"Where are you?" She asked, "If you don't come out right now then I'm going to hurt you!"

_Crap, she can hear us?_

_Don't worry, she can't do anything to us and it doesn't matter._

_Oh, alright then._

"Get out here already!" Still nothing. There was no physical being in the room with her. Then a terrifying thought ran through her head. "Oh crap, are these voices in my head!?"

_Yes._

_Why did you answer here!?_

_Why not?_

_Because...because!_

_It is part of my duty to not lie to the civilians. It is part of the code of the Intergalactic Re-_

_Bla, blah, blah, just try the body takeover already._

"The wha-"

* * *

"Listen up, you slimy pieces of carbon. Thanks to your parents and guardians, dodge ball was deemed too barbaric a sport and banned at this skool. Thanks to that, our annual Murderdome Dodge Ball Of Death Fundraiser was canceled and has severely crippled the funding of our sports program. So for today's game of football, your padding is now made from rusted scrap metal generously dumped from the Membrane Machinery Factory of Shiny Metal Science and your football is now a live pig!"

Gym class. If there was one thing Zim had in common with the earth filth children it was their shared hate of gym class. For Zim, it was because not only did the taller humans yell at him, but they required him to actually do physical labor.

Zim didn't have time for this though, well he never did but today was especially important. Gir was still running around the skool and Zim would still be looking for him it the hall monitor didn't catch him and drag him to gym, where not only was Zim restricted to a certain area, but Dib was able to freely follow him anywhere.

"When I blow my whistle, you must remember this objective. Hold on to the pig! I'm going to repeat this because it needs to get through your thick little skulls! HOLD ON TO THE PIG! HOLD! ON! TO! THE! PIG! And for incentive, the one who scores the most points with the pig will be exempt from all activities in my course for a week."

Zim just wished the teacher would get on with it. He didn't care about the silly rules to some silly earth game and only wanted to look for G-

"Piiiiiig."

Zim recognized that voiced, and was shocked to hear it. He turned to his left but didn't see him, then he shoved some kid out of the way and saw the big puffy head that he had designed.

"Gir!" Zim shouted. The robot in the human disguise turned towards him.

"Hi master!" Gir waved his hand back and forth in rapid motion.

"What are you doing here?!"

"I went to this scary man behind a desk and he said my brain had smart juice in it. He promoted me to the next...uh..."

"Grade?"

"I love you too, master!"

"Wha-nevermind, the plan Gir, the plan!"

"Oh yeah, with the peanut monkeys and the bubblegum chew-"

"NO! The plan! Lunch is going to begin soon and the b-" Zim almost finished that sentence when he realized that Dib was standing right next to him.

"The what, Zim? The bee, the bard, the banjo, the bomb? That's it isn't it? A bomb! That's pretty unoriginal. I expected more from you, but nonetheless! I will foil your plans and-" Dib had just noticed Gir and the pathetic human disguise, "Wow, I thought your disguises were lame before but this, this is a new type of stupid. His head isn't even close to being proportional."

"It was modeled after you."

"For the last time my head is not big! Though I did set myself up for that one."

Before they could commence with their usual banter, the gym teacher blew his whistle and threw the pig into the air.

"PIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGG!" Gir shouted as a battle-cry. He leaped out from the group of students and grabbed the swine from midair and proceeded to run around the field with it. The rest of the students ran after him, fighting for the chance to get out of this class for an entire week. Despite their bests efforts, every tackle attempt only left the human kids broken and unable to move or lose consciousness. Gir continued to happily run back and forth with his pig buddy.

"That athlete," the gym teacher said, "it's as if his body was made of metals unable to break from strong force like weak human bodies, and he leaves behind nothing but a trail chaos and destroyed bodies."

The teacher blew his whistle to signal the end of the game. The pig in Gir's hand leaped out and ran back to the teacher, Gir followed. He was the only participant still able to move by the end of the game.

"You, you're amazing! I don't know who you are or even care, but you are now my star genius athlete!" The teacher took off his hat and pushed a button inside. A siren appeared on the field and made loud noises just like before, and just like before, they stopped once a box taped to a skateboard appeared. The teacher picked Gir up and placed him in the box and watched as he was pulled away.

Zim and Dib watched this unfold from the sidelines, not even moving when the game started.

"You know, no matter what your plan is, I don't think it's going to work with Gir involved," Dib said.

"You make a valid point for once, Dib-slug," Zim turned to his wrist and activated a communicator, "Computer, send someone over to give me a bottle of poison big enough to infect the food vat at the skool. Simple plans like this never make me feel as triumphant as my more genius plans."

"Yeah."

Zim walked away from the field. It took a moment for Dib to register the situation.

"Hey! Wait!"

* * *

_Has a change in the signal patterns?_

_No, just search harder._

Keef had been in Gaz's head for about thirty minutes. Nightmare Dib had given full control of her body to him and he was running through the school. The only opposition he faced so far was an overzealous hall monitor that he took care of thanks to Gaz's physical capabilities and his combat training. Nightmare Dib continued to watch his progress and watch the radar for any signs of The Employer.

_I wish you had deduced the location of The Employer in a radius smaller than five miles._

_I found you the location of one being that could've been in any dimension, any galaxy, and any planet. Don't complain._

_You only searched one dimension and one planet._

_Don't harp on details either._

_Isn't there anything you could do to pinpoint the loc-_

_Keef, what happened?_

_I think I bumped into someone. _Gaz's body looked down and saw a girl with purple spiky hair on the floor with books spread out. _Oh, geez, what do I do?_

_Say something!_

_...Nothing's coming out! I can't speak while using someone else body!_

"Dammit, why don't you watch where you're going you bi-" The girl stopped talking the moment she saw the face of the one who had knocked her to the floor, "Y-you're...y-y-you're..."

_Punch her!_

_WHAT?!_

_We can't have her drawing attention to us like this._

_But she's a civilian and-_

_PUNCH!_

Keef acted on instinct at hearing the command and knocked the girl in the face, causing her to become unconscious.

_OH MY! WHAT DID YOU MAKE ME DO?!_

_Who cares, just run!_

Keef took off and noticed that everyone around him were making an effort to not get in his way.

_Amazing, this version of my sister exudes an aura of ferocity that drives others away._

_I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE ME PUNCH SOMEONE LIKE THAT! IT'S COMPLETELY AGAINST MY CODE AND THE CODE OF THE I.R.K.! IF THEY FIND OU-_

_Keef? What is it? You stopped!_

_It's him._

_The Employer?_

_No, Zim!_

Keef shouted in joy, well at least to Nightmare Dib, he couldn't actually talk through Gaz's mouth. Keef spotted Zim outside a window, trying to sneak around the school. Following him was Dib, also trying to be as sneaky as possible. Then there was another being, a pale, blue-haired human also following them.

_Who's that? _Keef asked.

_It's Tak. _Nightmare Dib replied.

_Tak!? Like devilish traitor to the I.R.K. Tak? Oh no, Zim's in danger!_

_Focus, Keef! Our Tak isn't the same as their's and Zim is not a priority, I'm monitoring him anyway._

_But he's right there, in his beautiful green Irken skin. I could touch him._

_The Employer, Keef! We're searching this dimension for him, not so you can get extreme euphoria from seeing your dead partner. Besides, this Zim is an even bigger idiot than ours._

_DON'T YOU TALK BAD ABOUT ZIM!_

_Don't start with m-wait. The radar, it's detecting a signal! The Employer, he's definitely in this school! Keef, Zim has to wait, remember your duty!_

Keef reluctantly turned away from the direction Zim was going, remembering the reason why he was doing this in the first place. He continued forward.

* * *

Zim was walking through the school hallways, preparing for plan B. He reached a broom closet and stopped, he looked around to see if anyone had followed him, like the pesky Dib-stink. Once he was done he opened the door and went in.

Dib popped out of a trash can he had jumped into while following Zim. Quietly he went to the same broom closet. He was certain that Zim had probably rigged this closet to enter some sort of secret room, why else would he choose this specific place to enter. He turned the knob and went in. Immediately he pressed himself against the wall opposite of the door, looking for some sort of secret button.

"Hello, Dib-scum."

Dib turned around, it was Zim, who had waited for him and was now blocking the exit to the room.

"Zim?! You mean this room doesn't lead to some sort of secret Irken lair?"

"No, what a stupid assumption to make!"

"Oh."

"But very fitting for you. Which is why you easily fell for my plan of trapping you inside this room!"

"Your entire plan was to trap me inside a broom closet?"

"No! This was just a plan I had to come up with to get you out of the way. Now no one can stop me from using my chemical bomb to mutate the lunch vat on chunky noodle day! Causing the noodles to continuously grow larger and larger as they seek to suck the water juices from your human bodies!"

"You planned to use noodles to suck the water from our bodies?"

"Yes! I learned from you picture screens that the earth food known as noodles can absorb water to grow larger and that the majority of your matter consists of this water! So by enhancing the biomolecular qualities of the noodle fibers, I can create super noodles!"

"That's evil! And completely impressive, but still evil!"

"Or at least that's what the original plan was, now I'm just going to poison your food."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because there's no way for you to stop me when you're trapped!"

"But you haven't even knocked me uncon-" Zim knocked Dib unconscious using a spider leg on his PAK to knock over a shelf with multiple boxes marked "Heavy Stuff". Zim walked out of the closet triumphantly, feeling joy from having stopped Dib. Then he saw Tak.

She had waited for him outside the closet and let out a smile. She punched him, knocking him unconscious and threw him in a broom closet right next to the one Dib was in. Tak laughed maniacally as she walked away.

* * *

Gir was waiting in the nurse's office. After meeting with the principal for a second time, it was determined the Gir was a super genius. After taking a test where all the answers were marked E for none of the above that only a genius could pass, they contacted the Membrane Foundation. They decided that he was to be the first kid in space using their experimental commercial rocket, but first they had to test his brain for brain steroids, which is why he was in the nurse's office. Not that Gir comprehended that. He was just happy to have held a real pig again.

"Damn, where is that nurse?!" Professor Membrane said. He was in his floating monitor like usual and was with several other scientists from the foundation.

"She was taking an early lunch," said the principal. A short, white haired man who was proud that such a genius was coming from his run down skool. "She'll be back any minute."

Just as he said that a pink haired lady entered the room dressed in all white except for a red cross on her hat.

"You needed me principal?" She said.

"Yes, one of our students has a chance to become a part of history with the Membrane foundation, but we need you to check his brain for brain steroids that those other cheaters from the past have taken."

"No problem," she took out a giant syringe, "Just leave the room and everything will be taken care of."

"Yes," the principal motioned for the scientists to follow him. Once the door was closed, several mechanical sounds were heard and smoke appeared from the crack below the door. The sound of poking with needles and chainsaws were heard. It was over in a flash and the nurse walked out.

"This student...is clean!" she said. The principal jumped in joy.

"Thank you nurse."

"Now if you could excuse me, I have a headache and need to go home right now."

"Certainly, anything you want!"

The nurse took off and left the scientists. They went into the room to find Gir, with his puffy head head still intact.

* * *

_Dammit, where is he!_

_I've scanned all the humans you've come across, none of them have any alien technology attached to them that would indicate a connection to the employer._

_Dammit this could be our only chance!_

_I know, turn left, you haven't checked there yet._

Keef was now frantically searching the building, opening every door, including to those where class was still in session, letting Nightmare Dib do a bio-scan of everyone in the room. He had probably circled the skool by now. He had reached a hallway with two broom closets, despite doubting he would find anything in a broom closet he opened the first one he saw. There he found Zim, collapsed on the ground.

_Zim! _Keef went in and held Zim, _Weren't you monitoring him? Why didn't you tell me this happened!_

_It's not priority! Besides, he's still alive!_

_Zim, my beautiful counterpart to my partner. Wake up!_

_Stop it!_

_Please wake up, my sleeping beauty._

_Keef, you aren't going to do what I think you're gonna do, right? Keef? Answer me! No, no, no! Stay away from the unconscious Irken body and get back to the mission!_

_But I can't resist! It's too tempting!_

_WHAT! Keef, noooooooooooooooo!_

It was too late, Keef had used Gaz's body to put Zim in a lip-lock. Gaz's pale lips pressed against Zim's green skin. All the sensation being felt by Keef. As Gaz's body continued to kiss Zim, sparks started appearing on her head.

_Keef! No! The sensory monitors are overloading! You're going cause a dimensional shockwave that wi-_

Once again Keef didn't listen and a blue shockwave of energy erupted from Gaz's head, forcibly ejecting Keef from this dimension. Gaz was regaining full control of her body once more.

_Wh-where am I? Why am I feeling so...weird? And what's this feeling...on...my...LIPS?!_

Gaz finally registered the situation. She was in a dark room, holding Zim, and kissing him. Gaz dropped Zim on the floor immediately and stood there stunned, confused, and shocked.

_Why?! Why?! WHY?!_

Gaz didn't know what to do, who was to blame, or what the hell had happened. All she remembered was hunting some guys in the bathroom and now she was kissing Zim. In her state of confusion, she ran, as fast as she could. Straight out of the school, and as far as possible.

* * *

"Hello, is this thing on? Ahem, welcome students, teachers, scientists, and esteemed media outlets to our celebration of sending the first kid into space!"

The principal had quickly organized an emergency assembly in front of the skool. He was proud of his new foreign student and all the the accolades his school will now receive.

"I'll tell ya, when what's-his-face entered my school I knew he was special. Thanks to our expert education program he soon blossomed into the genius boy sitting in that cramp rocket today!"

The principal pointed towards the puffy face pressed against the only window on the small rocket. A small applause followed.

"Now without further ado, the man who will activate the rocket, Professor Membrane!"

A monitor floated onto the podium the principal was standing on.

"For years my foundation have been answering all the big questions in science! How small can we make out technology? How big can explosions get? How toasty can we make toast without burning it? And now, what happens when we launch a kid into space! I will now begin the countdown. 10, 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0 lift off!"

Professor Membrane pushed a button and the jet engines lit up. An eruption of fire and smoke came from the bottom o the rocket, thrusting it into the air. It flew straight up for about 100 feet until it blew up in a spectacular explosion. Metal and burning cotton rained down on the shocked crowd who were attending the event.

"Make a note of this data, the rocket blew up 100 out of 100 tests," Membrane whispered to a fellow scientist. He then turned towards the crowd, "Well that concludes today's experiment, goodbye folks! There's punch in that van and we are not liable. He signed the waivers!"

Membrane and the other scientists quickly made an exit, leaving the crowd and skool faculty who were still staring into the sky.

* * *

Zim was slowly coming to in the closet. His head was in pain from when Tak hit him and his lips were moist for some reason. Light entered the room when a being opened the door, Zim looked towards it and saw the frame of his robotic servant.

"Gir? Gir! What happened to your disguise?" Zim said.

"I left it on the rocket," Gir replied. Zim didn't know what he was talking about and thought that it was just his usual nonsense.

"The bomb Gir! The noodle bomb! Did you leave it in the vat in the cafeteria like I told you too?!"

"A cafe-whatsa? Hmm, I thinks so..."

"Are you sure?"

"...no."

"Gir quickly, open you head, I had planned to leave by now but Tak has cost me valuable time. I have to deactivate the b-What?!"

"Aha!" Dib had sprung out from his broom closet as well, "You thought you could've trapped me in that closet, Zim, but you made one fatal error! You left the door unlocked!"

"Not now, Dib-monkey! The bomb is missing!"

"Missing?!"

"Gir must have left it somewhere! Quickly, Gir, we must leave before-"

Zim was cut off by the school bell. It was the lunch bell.

"Wait, how much time do we have left?!" Dib asked. A loud boom was heard.

"Less than zero."

They raced towards the end of the hallway, but when they were close to the door, giant noodles burst towards them. They hopelessly tried to run to the opposite side only to be blocked by more noodles. The soft, stringy food was filling the entire hallway, making Dib, Gir, and Zim swim in a sea of noodles. Finally, they were completely engulfed in noodles, slowly getting the liquids sucked from their bodies.

* * *

Gaz had made it back home after running for who knows how long. She ran to her room and locked the door, her heart still pounding and her head still confused. She searched her room and got one of her most prized possessions, her Vendetta List. She had to document this moment, maybe she would find someone to blame if she retraced her memory. She began with starting the day to seeing Gir, then Zim and her brother, to when she was in the bathroom, and finally to her kissing Zim.

_I can't believe what happened. Seriously, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED! HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE! I hate Zim! Even if the kiss felt nice- _Gaz stopped writing, stunned at the last six words she just wrote.

_No, no, no! _She thought to herself, _I did not just write that! This, this is Zim's fault! I don't know how, or why he would be unconscious, but who else could it be-_

Gaz dropped her book and put her hand on her forehead, she was getting another headache. _THIS. STUPID. HEADACHE!_

_I'm back in!_ Keef returned to Gaz's body, once again taking control over it.

_Quick, this machine can only last for a short bit, you were just lucky I was able to maintain the mental connection with her._

_Where's The Employer?_

_I don't know, you're not even in the school anyway!_

_What?! _Keef looked around, indeed he was no longer inside the school and now had zero chance to find The Employer. _Crap!_

_Quick, do something!_

_Like what?_

_I dunno, you're the stupid intergalactic space cop!_

_Uh, uh, _Keef spotted the diary on the ground, _I'll leave a message!_

_Hurry, I think she's resisting!_

_Right, first is the necessary deactivation code, then the actual explanation, _Keef wrote a sequence on the paper but Gaz's hand was twitching with every letter, making it harder and harder to write. He finished the code but was unable to move the hand any longer.

_Keef, she's resisting! The machine's overloading! We have to-HOLY CRAP!_

_What?!_

_This weird demonic image just appeared on my monitor! Abort Keef, abort!_

_But the explanation!_

_ABORTING!_

Keef didn't get any say in it, Nightmare Dib forcibly ejected him from Gaz's body. She fell backwards once his mind returned to his dimension. She used her windowsill to support her as she got up, on whatever caused her headache. It was too unnatural to just be a "headache". She glanced out her window, she saw someone walking down her sidewalk, someone she recognized. A pale teenaged girl with blue hair walking alongside her cat while twirling a nurse's cap on her finger and smiling deviously.

Gaz shot her a nasty glare, she didn't notice. Gaz had no evidence on her involvement in today's actions, but she knew one thing, that being was the only one who would mess with her on purpose and not out of stupidity. No one else she knew would even dare try anything against her, so she focused her anger on that being. She picked up her Vendetta List and wrote one name before closing it: Tak.


	30. The DOOM Plan

"And that's our plan," Red and Purple had just finished explaining their plan against the oncoming invasion. They were nervous throughout the whole thing, the dark room didn't help, nor did the menacing appearance of the control brains. They were encased in a round metal case with reddish purple lights glowing around then. Dozens upon dozens of tubes and possibly tentacles reached from their back to all around the room, covering the walls, floors, and possibly the entire building.

"That is indeed very radical.

I LIKE IT.

_The costs would be grave, whether it works or not._

**Those lives can be replaced anyway.**

You are right, very well. Tallests, you have our consent with this plan."

"Oh, thank you almighty Control Brains," Red said, "Now that you're on board with our idea, we require a favor of you."

"What is it?"

"We need you all to contact every off-planet Irken and command them to return to Irk. We've lost communications capabilities for I don't know how long now."

"**No.**"

"No? Why not?"

"_What you're asking for is an emergency command recall._

TOO MUCH POWER.

**The strain would incredibly cripple us for many cycles.**"

"I understand, but the more soldiers we can get, the better."

"He raises a valid point.

_But then we might not be able to be of great use in the battle._

We might not have to.

**We might as well do it, things always go your way anyway.**

Don't start with me!

**Ooo, look at me! I'm the brain that uses logic and reasoning an talk in a calm voice to make myself sound smart.**

I said not to start with me!"

"Uh, control brains," Red interrupted.

"Very well, Tallests, you have your wish! But know this, should you fail, you will not be the Tallests for long. You will meet your downfall, if not by us, then by this Zim you believe is the cause!"

"I...I understand."

* * *

"So, how'd you like it?!" Keef asked with a smile. Once he turned off the box, he saw a snarling and furious Gaz trying to make her way towards him. Daj, Kry, Kor, Dib, Skoodge, Tel, and Sir Chuckie were all trying to hold her back. She was still inching forward.

"IT WAS YOU!" She screamed, fueled by dark fury, "AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF CONFUSING EMOTIONS AND TURMOIL! I WILL OBLITERATE YOU PIECE BY ******* PIECE!"

"Gaz, calmed down!" Dib said, "I realized that him making you kiss Zim is completely disgusting and requires holy bleach to unsee, but we need him right now!"

"I DON'T CARE! HE'S GONNA BE NOTHING WHEN I'M DONE WITH HIM! NOT EVEN DUST!"

"Gaz, he's the only one who has any idea what we're up against and can fix Zim!"

Gaz finally started calming down when she realized that Dib was right.

"Besides, it's not like you hate your feelings towards, Zim, right?" Kor said.

"AAAARRRRRRRGGGHHH!" Being reminded of them made Gaz rage harder and overpowered the beings holding her back. Once free, she rushed towards Keef, intending on giving the beating to end all beatings. She had her target in sight, but had to come to a halt when someone got in the way. "Move it, Zim."

Zim had stuck himself between her and Keef, despite being in the injured state he was in.

"Believe me, Gaz, I wish for nothing more than to see this piece of flesh destroyed in front of me, but right now he is a necessary tool in meeting my goals. He has information on the enemy and he can fix my PAK. So control your temper!"

"Oh, Zim," Keef said, he moved towards Zim and hugged him, much to his disdain, "Thank you for protecting me!"

"You may punch him once."

Gaz cracked her knuckles. She launched fist right into Keef's face and sent him across the room. Sir Chuckie howled in despair.

"Red-hair, disgusting human," Zim said.

"Yes," Keef answered with the same joyful tone despite suffering a hit from Gaz.

"I found your movie painful, it brought back memories of the five days I was trapped in noodles."

"I had to survive by suckling the wet noodles!" Dib said.

"Shut up, Dib-stink. Disgusting being that is not the Tinkerer, the lizards, monkey, or Dib-slime, you wrote something in Gaz's diary. What was it?"

"It's a code in case I was too late," Keef said, "If The Employer had built his portal, I left an ambiguous code with no context whatsoever that would be the means to destroying the Employer's dimensional portal."

"A code, hidden in the diary-"

"Vendetta List!" Gaz interrupted.

"-of a human that wants to minimize all interaction with any beings, with no context whatsoever, that would foil a machine that we wouldn't even know about without your information?"

"Well I sent more messages."

"You did?!"

"Yeah, of Sir Chuckie eating berries colored the same way as the code. He ate them in the same sequence as the code."

"You sent a video of your stupid earth monkey eating berries."

"Sir Chuckie loves his berries."

"And NOT any RELEVANT information that would actually TELL us anything about The Employer."

"...Did I say I wasn't the smart one in my unit?"

"I SHOULD REMOVE YOUR BRAIN AND SEND THAT INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION, NO, DE-ATOMIZE AND SEND EACH ATOM INTO DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS BECAUSE HAVING A DIMENSION HOLD MORE THAN AN ATOM OF YOUR BRAIN WOULD BE A PLAGUE ON INTELLIGENCE! Also, I didn't like you narrating the entire video as well as my thoughts, which were strangely accurate to what I was actually thinking."

"Well for Gaz, it was because I had a mental connection with her, allowing me to know her thoughts. For you it was because I had practice. Every week I would watch the recording while snuggling my cardboard cutout of you next to our Gir-Punch bowl and narrated your thought process for entertainment."

"...I will now cease to ask you any more questions. Ever. The more I ask about you the more vile you become."

"Okay."

"Also, you have failed to tell us one important detail, what does the Employer even look like? Even when I saw him he hid behind shadows."

"I don't know either, Zim. Even though The Employer lived by going through the portal, my Zim did do heavy damage to him. It's very likely he built a new body for himself."

"Rebuilt? The Employer's a machine?!"

"Yes, he is essentially living technology, able to combine any advanced tech into his body, to shape any pure metal into any form, to decimate the most advanced races."

"Just how powerful is he?!"

"This planet we're on, Vort. In my dimension, it was the galaxy's fastest growing hub for the advancement of technology for all species. It was taken over in three earth days. The I.R.K. had to resort to blowing up the planet and he still escaped."

"...I see."

"When fighting against him, he just absorbs our weapons!"

"Geez, he sounds invincible!" Dib said.

"No one's invincible, Dib-slime," Zim said.

"He's still sounds insanely powerful! We can't fight that!"

"Or course we can."

"How the hell can you sound so sure!?"

"Because, my Nightmare self beat him, at least to the point where he was forced to retreat, and since I am far superior to any form of Zim that can tolerate to be with _that _I will defeat the Employer. He has also made a fool of Zim, forcing me to beg, no one makes a fool of Zim!"

"That crazy ambition and overwhelming self-confidence, just like my Zim!" Keef said, "I haven't felt this way in years!"

"Just because I gave you permission to live doesn't mean you are excused from any pain."

"Okeydokey."

"I am set on destroying the Employer, no one gets in the way of my conquests and lives!"

"I did," Dib said.

"Not much longer if you keep interjecting like that! Anyway, everyone else has already made it their resolve to come with me, except for you. Speak now and know that you have no say whatsoever in whether we go or not anyway."

"This is crazy and suicidal. If there's anything I've learned from being with you for all this time it's that crazy doesn't follow you, it's your psychotic girlfriend that stalks you and taps your phone line. It's a wonder how you haven't destroyed us all yet, but seeing as my choice won't even matter, I'll follow you."

Despite the disdain and scorn that was implied with those words, even if Dib's choice had mattered, he knew he still would've said yes. Stuff being crazy hasn't deterred him before, having the rest of humanity call him crazy never stopped him, and despite his previous vehement denials of being associated with crazy, he knew it followed him as well, and he enjoyed the thrill.

"Good, now that that's over with, it is time for us to prepare ourselves! We shall arm ourselves with several weapons and become an unstoppable storm of chaos! MUAHAHAHAHA-"

"We still need a ship," Kor interrupted.

"Huh, oh, right. What remains of the Dibship is being worshiped by the cyber-monkey's followers."

"Allow me to be of assistance, Zim," Crax said, "I would love to aid you in the destruction of the species that enslaved my people, the armada that destroyed them, and the being that has most likely killed an alternate dimensional version of me."

"Really, great! Then together, Crax, we shall-"

"Hold on, I'm not doing this for free. If you somehow defeat both the Irkens and the Mooses, or whatever you call them, with the slim chance you already have _with_ my technology, then I want you to give me full authority over Vort."

"Haven't you already enslaved the remaining Vortian population with your explody collars?"

"Yes, but would like the military backing of the force that defeated the strongest species in the universe. Just to scare off any scavengers until we reconstruct Vort."

"Fine, I have no problems with you running this planet, Crax."

"Good," Crax smiled and grabbed Zim's arm. He tore off Zim's broken wrist device and attached a new one. It happened so quickly that Zim didn't even notice until Crax had let go and was looking at his own wrist device.

"Where did you pick up such skills with attaching things to people?"

"Nevermind that, just activate it." Zim examined the device for a bit before find the power button, a hologram of a screen was projected showing a design of a ship.

"What the-"

"I've copied over all the blueprints I've been working on since learning of your goals. I knew you'd be in need of weapons, armaments, armor, vehicles, etc. I also love watching what you do with them, I never cease to be amazed by the amount of chaos you bring out of them."

"That-That's a ship?!" Zim said in unbelievable glee. He enthusiastically started scrolling through the other blueprints.

"Yes."

"A-And that!"

"Yes!"

"*gasp* This! This is!"

"Yes! HUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The two maniacal inventors were in sync with their evil laughter, reminding themselves of their days as partners and working on unofficial projects. Zim only grew more maniacal as he saw each screen and blueprint of the technology Crax was going to develop for him.

Meanwhile, Kor was dusting herself off from when Gaz threw her and everyone else off of herself.

"Geez, I wonder why Gaz got so angry Keef," Dib said to Kor.

"What do you mean?" Kor replied.

"I know that physical interaction with Zim, let alone a kiss, would be a horror but it was years ago. It's not like anything ever came of it."

"...Do you really not know?"

"Know what? Something about Gaz?"

"How she acts around Zim, the lack of physical harm on him when they're alone together, how for some reason they always get paired off on our adventures?"

"What are you implying-"

"Gaz likes Zim you dense idiot."

"Wow, Kor, and here I thought you were going to tell me something serious," Dib started laughing, "The idea that my sister has any good feelings towards Zim is the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard! Come on, a Zim and Gaz romance? Who the hell would even think of that!"

"Please tell me you're just faking being stupid."

"Kor, I think I know my sister a bit more than you do."

"Whatever."

Dib was still trying to get giggles out of his system when Kor looked towards Zim and Craz. The two beings were still continuing their maniacal laughter.

"Hey drone," Daj interrupted.

"What, lizard-stink? What is so important that you must interrupt Zim's laugh!"

"Well, I didn't think much of this at first but after a while I figured it wasn't normal-"

"Spit out the words, lizard-stink!"

"The mini-drone is tweaking out."

Daj held out Skoodge, who was fidgeting, trying to escape the grasp on the Darvon. His eyes were zooming around the room and his limbs were constantly flailing around like some manic hummingbird.

"Skoodge? Answer Zim!"

"Yearrghurthoplurpa," Skoodge replied.

"Is that some weird Irken word?" Dib asked.

"No, drop him, lizard-stink, but be ready to catch him again. Four-legged lizard-stink, block the entrance!" Zim commanded. Kry did as told and Daj dropped the short Irken onto the floor. Immediately Skoodge started scrambling around until he saw the light of the entrance. He starting sprinting towards it, only to be pounced on and caught by Kry.

"Yearrgh! Must...get...to...IRK!" Skoodge said.

"I see, someone incapacitate him."

"With pleasure, Zim," Crax said. He grabbed a rock and bonked Skoodge on the head, knocking him out cold.

"What wrong with him?" Tel asked.

"The Control Brains sent out an emergency return of all Irkens," Zim said, "It's a last resort for when the home planet is facing a grave threat."

"Control Brains?" Dib asked.

"They are the ones who program my PAK and determine our purpose, whether it be Invaders, Food drones, and even Tallest. They rule us all! Although my obedience to them seemed to have faltered over the years."

"Why weren't you affected by the signal?"

"Apparently The Employer had altered my PAK, and if we go by my bio-scans I took of myself before, it happened years ago. I'm assuming he cut off my link to the Control Brains."

"I see, so what's going to happen to Skoodge?"

"The signal will end soon enough and he'll return to serving me, but we should worry about the bigger issue."

"Which is?"

"Crax, how soon can you get that ship made?"

"Not too long with the wonderful labor provided by my Vortians."

"Call them in and start working on it. You'll be in charge in the overall development of all weaponry and devices, under me of course. Tinkerer, you will be the one in charge of overseeing ship production. Cyber-monkey, order the ZMDA to aid in the development. Gaz...you do whatever. Lizard-stink, take your pet and teach the Dib-slime actual combat, take Skoodge and the Cyber-monkey with you."

"Oo, what about me, what do I do?!" Gir asked. Zim was hesitant about this one, he obviously couldn't assign Gir to any construction task or combat training, but he certainly couldn't have him doing nothing, he would wind up interfering with other projects if left alone.

"Go search around here for anything you might find useful."

"Okay, master!" The little robot ran off obediently.

"The rest of you, hurry up and do your orders!"

"Wait a minute," Dib said, "You still haven't told us what Skoodge tweaking out is suppose to mean to us!"

"It means Irk is mobilizing. When the Employer decides to invade the Irkens it'll be an chaotic war between two tyrannical powers known as the doom-bringers for their respective dimension!"

"And you're telling us that you plan on getting in the middle of it all?!"

Zim let out a sinister smile in response to Dib's question.

"Of course!"

* * *

"¡Tak!"

"Yes, Employer!"

"Dame una actualización de la astronave."

"Er, what was that, sir?"

"¡Ugh!" The time for The Employer to begin his final assault on the Irkens, a final push before his conquest was complete, "You Irkens and your biological refusal to learn any other language other than your own. I wouldn't be so angry about having to speak your primitive Irken tongue all the time if it wasn't for _someone_ programming the wrong language files on my moose warriors."

"I'm still sorry for that."

"Back to my previous statement, I was asking for an update on the ship. ¡El Moosey Megaship Mark Cinco!"

"Must you scream the name of the ship each time you say it?"

"¡The screaming adds to the glory!"

"Sure. The moose have completed construction of the shell of the ship, it still needs to be armed with weapons and shields."

"¿And what of the other preparations?"

"We have almost completely milked the beings for our liquid-based weapons, the lighting in your main room still needs to be fixed, and we're running out of pure DNA for your moose clones. We've tried using the DNA from the clones but that just caused a disturbing mess that I never want to speak of again."

"Bueno, don't fix my lights, and do something about those clones. I dunno, make them half machine for all I care. ¿How about the portal?"

"I've scanned the blueprints and found most of the parts from the pile of stuff we scavenged off Vort, however certain parts are still missing and I don't know where we would find them." Tak opened the blueprints for the Employer and circled the parts that they needed. He looked over them for a bit and then let out a joyful laugh.

"¡Jajajajaja!"

"Sir?"

"Continue as scheduled. As for the remaining parts, your home-planet will have them, and I know just who to get them from."

"You mean 'just who to kill and steal from.'"

"Si, Tak. I was trying to be ominous."

"It was pretty obvious what you were planning."

"¡Just go and attend to the tasks!"

"Yes, Sir."

Tak left her boss for now. The employer looked out through a window in the room he was in, staring at the black emptiness that stretched on and on. An infinite plane where no being can even fathom its size, and it was just a small prize for The Employer.

* * *

"There, Tallest, we have called back all the Irkens.

_Though we can't guarantee they'll make it back in time._"

"That's okay, all I asked was for you to contact them, Dear, Majestic Control Brains," Red said.

"**Don't kiss up to us, puppet.**"

"Yes, Control Brains."

"NOW WE SLEEP.

**And leave our chamber! **

When we awake, your plan should have been executed flawlessly.

**Or else.**"

"Yes, Control Brains," Red and Purple said in unison.

The door behind them opened and the two leaders walked out. They returned to their main room and began overlooking their battle plans. Despite them reassuring the Control Brains about their plans, they still began preparations for a back-up plan. They were not naive, they knew that when dealing with Zim, even if the results turn out favorable, they never go exactly as planned.

"All the troops have been mobilized to our 5 major sites, the space fleets are constantly orbiting the planet, and now we just need an Irken scout to act as our beacon," Red said.

"Do you think he'll make it to Conventia on time?"

"I don't know, but I sure hope so."

* * *

"Dib, your accuracy with a gun may be as sporadic as the drone's mental thought process but at least you know how to use that sword now."

Dib's proficiency with his sword-hand has increased after training for several days with Daj and Kry, and despite Gaz's refusal of teaching Dib directly, he did pick up a few things from observation. Daj, Kry, and he had chosen the top of an abandoned building as their training area. It was nearby the Vortian Plaza where they had made a base of operations. The building had held up quite well compared to the other ones, for one thing, it wasn't lopsided or looked like it would fall over at any moment.

"Thanks, Daj," Dib replied.

"Too bad everything you fight will be shooting lasers at you."

"Yeah, but maybe if I get really good I can learn to deflect lasers with my laser-sword!"

"Do you really believe that's how lasers work?"

"They don't?"

"Wanna try it?" Daj pointed a rifle at him.

"Well, not anymore."

"Suit yourself. Wanna check out what the drone is doing over there? Everyone else is."

Dib looked down the building they were training on. They saw the construction of the new ship, surrounded by Heboadians and Vortians. Crax had found more survivors on the planet, those who also hid in secret bunkers and holes, and they all united in an opportunity to aid a force that was going against their oppressors and destroyers, which was fortunate for Crax since he had run out of exploding collars for all of them. Most of the new ship was obscured by buildings and scrap metal, which the Vortians had tore off in chunks from the ruins of surrounding buildings. Dib was able to make out the shape of the old Dibship at the front of the new ship, he decided to go check it out later.

Nearby, at the center of the plaza, were Zim and the others, huddled around a small sphere. Daj grabbed Dib while he was on Kry's back and the trio jumped down from the top of the building. They moved towards the crowd and found that Keef and the monkey, the creature was tied by a rope and covered in duct tape, were in the sphere.

"What's with Keef in the sphere?" Dib asked.

"Zim is about to jettison him into space," Kor replied.

"Really?!" Dib had no objections to this idea. Everyone in the group knew that they had surrounded themselves with annoying, sociopaths and they lived through it for all this time. Keef, however, obliterated their tolerance for annoyances and creepiness. He wasn't smart enough to help with any of the projects and managed to screw things up on multiple occasions, he would run off in the middle of combat training with Dib to find Zim, and Zim simply had always found the human disturbing. Also the monkey did nothing but screech, poop, and throw things at them all day.

Zim stood in front of the sphere, holding onto the hatch that would seal Keef in.

"Thing, you-"

"You referred to me without an adjective!" Keef interrupted.

"To use descriptions in reference to you would demean and devalue them. You remembered my instructions, right?"

"I carved every word on the surface of my brain."

Zim just glared at Keef before slamming the hatch shut.

"Crax, the coordinates are set, right?"

"Yes, Zim," Crax replied, "They are also locked to prevent any change of course."

"Alright! Everyone, move back quickly!" The group backed away from the sphere containing Keef and the Monkey. Once Zim determined that he was at a safe distance he pressed a button. The sphere released a saucer-shaped object from the bottom of it and started spinning. Soon flames and fumes emitted from the saucer, lifting the sphere into the air and eventually out of the atmosphere. "Success!"

"Don't we need Keef? You know, for info on The Employer and for fixing your PAK?" Dib asked.

"I stole his holo-cube device thingy from him. I plan on studying the files inside while deleting all his..._home movies _off of it. However, he still has some use, which is why is was still breathing when I launched him."

"What if he dies in some horrible asteroid collision, or gets star radiation, or gets sucked into a black hole?"

"Then this universe will no longer suffer the fate of having multiple Keefs in the same plane of existence!"

"Then what about your PAK?"

"I'd rather die then spend more days with the thing."

"Aren't you exaggerating a little bi-"

"I mean every word I said. I'll just extract the knowledge from the Employer anyway."

"Alright then." Dib stopped inquiring, it's not like he wanted Keef to stay any longer anyway.

"Crax, ready the next shipy-pod-sphere!" Crax rolled out an identical sphere in the same spot where the first one launched. The hatched opened and he began working on setting the coordinates on a panel behind the ship.

"You have another pod?" Kor asked.

"Yes, this is for a much more vital mission."

"Who're you planning to send?" Gaz asked.

"I'll do it, Sir!" Skoodge spoke up, "I will take on any mission for my Tallest!"

"No, Skoodge," Zim said, "I'm not risking you possibly going crazy with your lust for Irk again."

"I-I understand, my Tallest."

"I plan on sending someone expendable, who also does not have proficient knowledge on how to pilot a ship." Everyone stared at each other, Zim had told them multiple times that they were nothing but meat-shields to him and most of them had either crashed or haven't had a chance to crash the Dibship.

"The being is also a cyber-monkey." Everyone looked at Tel whose eyes had widened after Zim had spoken. Tel responded with two words.

"Oh crap."

* * *

"El Moosey Megaship Mark Cinco is 100% built, fully weaponized, and fully fueled with spare tanks ready," Tak was running through the final checks of the ship for The Employer. The delays for the invasion were over and they were anxious to crush the Irken forces.

"¡Si, SI! ¡Bueno, now bring up the map!" The Employer said. Tak made a hologram of their map that had contained all the planets they had conquered and only two planets had remained; Irk and Conventia.

"I have to ask, why did you conquer the planets in the order of a smiley face?"

"I am fond of la Cara de Sonrisa. Mucho gusto."

"...Uh."

"¿I shouldn't even bother with you, should I? ¡I like smiley faces! ¡I'll conquer the universe in any shape I feel like! ¡In the next dimension I'll conquer planets in the shape of a squirrel! ¡Now, let's finish the nose!"

"Yes, Sir," Tak began directing the moose soldiers that stood in front of several panels that controlled the ship. They touched several buttons on the panel to cause the ship to glow, light up, and do other complicated spaceship stuff.

"¡Come on, ándele! !_Vámonos_! ¿What's taking so long?"

"About that, it turns out the thrusters we used aren't quite powerful enough to handle a vessel of this size and, well, shape."

"¡¿Are you questioning the shape of my ship?!"

"No, no! It's just that this is the max speed. Which is pretty slow."

"Fine. Just activate the hyperdrive."

"Er-uh, you wanted a hyperdrive?"

"...Just send the probe out."

"Yes, Employer," Tak went to a console and entered the sequence to launch the probing pod, "Probe sent. It should reach it's destination in 25 cycles."

"¡¿25 Cycles?!"

"Well, the thrusters...and the lack of a hyperdrive-"

"Just pilot the ship."

"Yes, Sir."

* * *

"Are the troops still stationed at the sites?"

"Yup."

"Are the space fleets making the 16,239th round around the planet?"

"Yup."

Red and Purple lost count of the number of cycles it had been since they've met with the Control Brains. They had thought they'd get attacked much sooner, but they've been suffering through the same repetitions of preparations for each passing moment. Since all their returning Invaders were immediately mobilized they didn't have anyone to heckle and all the Irkens on the planet were stuck in five areas and told to be on high alert.

"Is that Irken still orbiting Conventia?" Purple asked.

"Let me check," Red activated a radio transmission feed in front of them, connecting to the only available channel, a direct connection via incredibly an incredibly long wire that connected to their scout's pod. All their other communication channels were disabled thanks to the attacks.

"My Tallests! How can I be of service? Do you want another update? My mission log reads that it's been 15 cycles that I've been in orbit. Conventia looks beautiful as always, a marvelous feat from you, my Tallests and the Tallests before. I still haven't spotted anything out of the ordinary, just space rocks, space dust, space stars, more dust, rocks, rocks, rocks, more dus-" Red cut the feed before the Irken could continue rambling.

"You know, maybe this is just some sort of sick plan made by Zim," Red said, "He's just making us wait, forcing us to let our guard down. Watching us, silently. Slowly driving us insane or dead due to boredom. Then he strikes!"

"Do you really think Zim has the patience for that?" Purple said.

"No, you're right. Maybe he died?"

"I have always wished for that day to come, but the universe has never provided me with that joy after all these years, why would it let me have it now?" Purple let out a sigh.

"I'm getting a cookie."

* * *

"You there, pink one with the robotic limb!"

"My name is Dib."

"Your name means nothing. Where is Zim?"

"He's in the building over there."

Crax had been looking for Zim for over an hour now. He had went somewhere with the purple one sometime earlier but Crax now needed to give him his latest creation. He went into the building that Dib had directed him to. Upon entering he found the two beings that had gone missing earlier.

"I would apologize for interrupting whatever you two were doing, but I don't care," Crax said.

"We didn't do anything," Gaz said, "Why does everyone always assume that when I'm with Zim?"

"Because most of us aren't stupid."

"I really don't believe that."

"Well it doesn't matter. I have nothing to do with you anyway, just Zim."

"What do you need Crax?" Zim asked.

"I've got a new toy for you Zim."

"Toy? I have no need for toys, no matter how much joy they bring me! I require tools benefiting my future conquest!"

"Sometimes I wonder how I co-existed with you for long when you were on Vort. Anyway, it's not a literal toy, it's a new device," Crax revealed a box he had been carrying. He opened it to reveal his invention, "Behold!"

"...It's another box."

"I would've preferred the term cubical storage unit. Remember the box I forced you and your companion to retrieve, nearly costing the lives of both of you and permanently damaging your PAK?"

"Now that you said all that, I should be really angry at you."

"Well now's not the time for feelings. What the box contained was a project I was working on. While the other Vortians were creating an multidimensional portal, I was stealing the designs and test results to construct a smaller portal into a void, a dimension of nothingness. I went through several redesigns, trying to make the portal smaller and smaller, and losing valuable test materials through experimentation like junk, scrap metal, other Vortians in the void-"

"Just get on with it already!" Gaz yelled.

"Fine, you impatient entomophile."

"What did you call me?!"

"Zim, I created a pocket dimension for infinite storage," Crax activated the device and reached his hand inside, "Don't let the size of the box or portal deceive you, it can store several objects useful for your purposes."

As he said that, Crax pulled out a large rifle. Zim looked on with intrigue and wonderment. He was thinking of all the possible uses he could use the portal for.

"Yes, I definitely can find uses for an infinite pocket dimension. Hand the device to Zim."

"Sure, there's no better data than a field test."

"It's still needs testing?"

"Well, the portal is stable so it won't do something like suck you in during use...maybe. Also it can't store organic materials," Crax reached in and pulled out the skeletal remains of something. Zim couldn't make out what species the bones belonged too, he also didn't want to find out. "Anything inorganic is seemingly fine however."

Crax reached in again, this time pulling out Zim's robotic servant.

"Gir?!" The robot was still, facing forward as Crax held onto the antennae. The robot had a blank stare and was missing his usual smile, instead replaced with an expression of pure indifference towards his surrounding.

"What's up with him?" Gaz asked as both her and Zim got closer to Gir to inspect him.

"I saw the void," Gir said, "An infinite abyss of emptiness. A dark hole where the essence of the soul is depleted until it becomes one with the nothing, for all eternity."

Zim and Gaz were shocked, confused, and taken aback by Gir's words and the loss of his usual personality. Their confusion stopped however when Crax dropped the robot onto the ground. Instantly the robot rebounded back into his usual demeanor, stupidly smiling and running around until he decided to play in the pile of bones Crax pulled out earlier.

"Well, I did say _seemingly_ fine," Crax said.

"Gaz, we must never let Gir get near the portal," Zim said.

"Agreed," she replied.

"So how do you even choose what you want to bring out."

"Well if you consider the formulas and theories used in spatial dynamics-"

Gaz decided now was a good time to stop listening. She left the two alien inventors alone and left the building. When she got out she found herself face to face with Kor.

"Hey Gaz, how was you alone time with Zim?" Kor asked.

"We didn't do anything. Why do you always assume that?" Gaz replied.

"I didn't say I was."

"You usually do."

"That's because I'm not Dib."

"What are you doing here anyway, Kor?"

"Just scavenging for a stronger power chip for my gloves. What did you do with Zim then?"

"None of your business."

"Considering you always talk to me when you have 'issues' with Zim, you kind of made it my business." Gaz just scowled at her and then proceeded to leave the Fefian. "I'm really curious though, what are you going to do after all of this is over? Best case scenario Zim wins and he rules Irk, but I know from Dib that it's not like you can ditch your planet to just be with Zim, and worst case scenario, well, you all die."

Gaz stopped walking. She wasn't prepared to answer Kor. She has thought about it before, it's not like she was always fueled by revenge during all this time. She always had a part of her thinking about the aftermath, and the high chance that she won't see Zim again after this. She wasn't planning on leaving Earth and she doubted Zim would ever want to return to the polluted rock. She always felt a bit melancholy whenever she thought about this, but she couldn't dwell on those thoughts. She decided to ignore them and continue forward.

* * *

"There Tak! The next planet to face our might! ¡Miralo!" The employer was getting anxious. After essentially floating through space for what seemed liked an eternity to the alternate dimensional Tyrant, his target was finally in his sights. "What's the estimated time of arrival?"

"Um, not for a while, Sir," Tak replied.

"...You're a screw-up Tak."

* * *

Red and Purple just couldn't understand Zim. They couldn't figure out if he was really stupid or actually smart. They thought that he might be so stupid that he's smart or so stupid that he was stupid which masked the stupid that was actually the smartness of the stupid. Red and Purple agreed that analyzing Zim's psychology would make harm their intelligence like some sort of brain cancer.

Still, it was better than the boredom that was engulfing their planet. They were already getting reports of troops dying because they were too bored to do anything. Eventually they theorized that this wait was part of Zim's plans. If so, they would declare him the single most annoying piece of crap being in the universe.

"My Tallests! My Tallests!"

Red and Purple instantly sprang to life. They were getting a call from the recon Irken they sent to Conventia.

"Hello! Scout, you better have something important to report, we're very busy!" Red answered.

"I see something unusual off in the distance! It's moving fast, oh my Irk it's huge!"

"Does it look like a ship?!"

"It-it doesn't look like anything I've ever seen, but it's big and metal and...IT'S GONNA COLLIDE WITH ME!" Red put the communicator down.

"This is it, what we've been waiting for! It's time to execute my master plan!"

"Wait, we only have one chance at this, we have to be absolutely sure!" Purple said.

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!" The scream came from the communicator.

"You're right, if we waste this opportunity, we could doom our entire race," Red said.

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"And if the Control Brains see our failure they could kill us!"

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"Or worse, the Control Brains will remove our Tallest titles!"

"No, anything but that!" Purple said, "I can't go back to the time before infinite snacks!"

"I would miss our weekly donuts tribute."

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"I'm going to execute the plan," Purple was nervous. Red went towards the main console. It was covered with several flashing lights, buttons, switches, knobs, and levers. Red pulled the decorative cover off the console, revealing a giant purple button.

Conventia was the first planet ever conquered by the Irkens and has since been used as the base of operations to plan future invasions. The Irkens used a giant ring-shaped war machine that encircled the planet to claim it. Though eons of disuse and negligence has rendered the construct inoperable for military purposes, it still served as a good docking bay that continues to orbit around the planet, until today.

The metal death ring had a secret, since it was their first invasion, the Irkens wanted a hidden ace, some back-up plan that would at least make it so that they wouldn't lose anything. For the Irken engineers it was a simple solution. An exploding giant metal death ring. Should worst come to worst, the active Tallest would execute the self-destruct and they would lose some planet and move on to the next one. It was perfectly logical to the Irkens.

Red pressed the button.

The rulers quickly assumed Conventia has been successfully blown up so they decided to pat themselves on the back for their masterfully crafted expert plan. They felt like all pressure and tension were removed, for the greatest threat to their race has been (presumably) destroyed! Well, they would've felt that way if they didn't receive a transmission that soured their mood.

"My Tallests!" shouted their scout, "It seems those foreign ships were a false alarm. I thought they were colliding into me, but they passed right through my scouting pod. It was as if they were some sort of holographic projection designed to fool the simple minded. Oh! The docking bay on Conventia started beeping, what should I do?"

"...Fly towards it," replied Red.

"Yes, my Tallests. Hmm, the beeping is getting faster. I think it's starting to glow red as well. Why, it seems as if it's about to explo-" The Tallests heard a brief explosion before the transmission feed turned to static.

They moved towards the window in the tower they were staying in, overlooking the Irken armada that was mobilized below them. They remained silent, wallowing in their apparent failure, even as dozens of warships began to litter the skies in front of them.

"So you have failed, Tallests," The voice came from behind them. The Control Brains had been watching, and once they had realized that the "master plan" of the Tallests had failed, they repossessed an Irken body.

"Excuse me, almighty Control Brains, may I have a quick moment?" Red asked calmly.

"Sure."

"Thank you," Red cleared his throat.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


	31. Final DOOM: War

The Tallests lost count of how long it had been since the invasion started. They've been monitoring the continuous battles of their five major cities from the main room in the tower they set up base in. The Tallests had correctly predicted that the invaders would target the most valuable areas, a standard tactic taught to Irken Invaders. That was the enemy's mistake. To perfectly execute that tactic with an armada, the element of surprise is almost a requirement, else you would have to rely on brute force to conquer the cities. For most cases, brute force would be fine, if the targeted race were nothing but low-intellect, bottom feeder life-forms, aka not Irken.

Time and preparation had allowed the Irkens to build up their forces solely in those five areas and siphon all resources into them. While everywhere else was nothing but barren and desolate, five impenetrable fortresses were created. Still, despite having such a powerful defense, they were losing. Their opponents were very tall beings with exceptional combat skills. Even though the Irkens were fighting with mechs and had thousands of turrets protecting their cities, the enemies still came at them, wave after wave. They were agile, armed with lasers and deadly spikes for both long range and close combat. Even scarier was their ability to eat each other to suddenly increase their size, which would destroy most of the Irken mechs and ground vehicles. Their troops weren't even able to put up much of a fight, the enemy possessed some type of gas, deployed in the form of smoke bombs, that caused slight paralysis towards Irkens. The resulting slowed reflexes made even their most advanced soldiers fall in hand to hand combat.

The battle in space did not fair much better. Their space fleet is what prevented the larger invading vessels from entering Irk's atmosphere, only some pods that contained the enemy ground troops were able to get through, but each day the Tallests would see hundreds of Irken and foreign spaceships either fall into the planet or the explosions the ships would make in space.

Ironically, it was thanks to the invaders trying to kill them that the Tallests were given a second chance at life. Not even the Control Brains were able to predict the power of the invading forces. They decided to each command the forces in four of the major cities while assigning the Tallests to command the main city. Red would monitor all the activity while Purple gave the commands for the Irken soldiers. It has been like that for what could have been several Earth months. Despite their struggles the Irkens kept the war in a stalemate, but today was when the battle went from bad to worse.

Another ship fell from space today. The Tallests immediately knew which ship it was despite it being quite far away from them. It was one-of-a-kind. A flagship of the Irken Armada. The largest space vessel in their arsenal. They used it to oversee all their invasions while in space and was suppose to have no major weaknesses. It was the Massive.

They lost the space war. Immediately following the crashing of the Massive, the enemy ships started flying into the city. Purple immediately called for air support to counter them, but it would take some time before they would deploy and they were still at a disadvantage. They the Massive and have a battle taking place right above them when they had been able to hold off the ground troops at the border until now. Giving the enemy access to their airspace allowed them to bomb the city or drop troops from within. If they couldn't stop them somehow they would quickly lose the city and possibly their lives. They became desperate.

Red left the monitors and grabbed a rifle, deciding to take on a more direct role in this battle. There are two requirements to being the Tallests, one is obviously height, second is having served in the Irken military. While Purple was a good field commander, Red was only a soldier. He went out to the balcony of their tower and took aim at one of the closer enemy ships. They were using see-through visors on all their ships, a foolish design flaw. The targeted ship began to crash as a laser burned a hole through the pilot's skull. Red may have only been a soldier, but he was very good with guns.

Red continued killing pilots with each shot fired, while the crashing ships didn't do much in terms of reducing the damage to the city, at least he killed some of them until the Irken air ships arrived. Red felt relieved at the sight of the Irken air ships, but it was brief. Purple appeared behind and delivered horrible news.

"Red, the enemy forces have breached our barriers!" Purple yelled.

"Argh! As if things weren't bad already!" Red said, "Where did Zim even get these soldiers?!"

"From Earth probably."

"But it's suppose to be some tiny rock with no major treats on it! We made sure to either destroy or enslave any real threatening races in this universe!"

"Well they're kind of beating us."

"I know. We can only hope that the other cities are holding up." As soon as Red said that an Irken appeared before them. It was possessed like the previous ones; Red didn't take this as a sign of good news. "Please tell me that the other cities haven-"

"The other cities have been breached."

"I expected as much."

"**It would've gone better if some of us didn't use dumb tactics.**

SMASH TACTIC NOT DUMB. SMASH STRONG.

**You're the first one of us who lost their city.**

_Quiet both of you, besides, you lost your city soon after as well._

**That's because my city had inadequate defenses prepared.**

_Now you're just blaming outside factors for your loss._

**At least I'm not inc-**

All of you shut up! Besides, I was the one who held out the longest anyway.

**That's it! I've had it with you.**" The control brains continued arguing amongst themselves, eventually leading to the sight of an Irken choking itself. This continued for a while before the Control Brains finally realized they couldn't actually hurt themselves through the Irken host.

"Please, almighty Control Brains. Now isn't the time to argue with each other when the enemy is taking the planet," Red said.

"**We wouldn't even be in this situation if your stupid plan actually worked!**"

"I know that, great Control Brain."

"I can't believe your reasoning was that it formed the nose of a smiley face."

"But even if they weren't following that path of a smiley face, it makes no sense for them to avoid Conventia. It's a vital planet to the Irken Empire and the closest planet to Irk. If they had really wanted to crush us completely they'd target it."

"Well they didn't. Now we have to deal wi-

_Wait._

What do you wan-...

_Do you sense it?_

...Yes.

**As do I.**"

"Um, Control Brains. What are you sens-"

"SILENCE!" The Tallests did as they were commanded and remained still. The Irken host for the Control Brains started twitching wildly until a long, metallic tentacle appeared from the Irken's PAK. The tentacle flew backwards back into the main room. After a few seconds a screech was heard and the tentacle appeared before the Tallests again, this time constricting an Irken. "SPY!"

"What?" Purple said, "This is just the Irken that brings us cookies. It's all he ever brings for some reason."

"This is no Irken," The Control Brains threw the Irken at Red who caught him.

"What are you talking abo-" While Red was holding the being, he noticed something wet on his two fingers. The liquid came from the being's skin, "What the-?! This Irken is covered in some sort of green liquid, and it's dripping off. Now that I have a closer look, this thing's eyes are drawn on!"

"You're right!" Purple said, "And look, its antennae are removable!"

"Actually, those look real. I think it started twitching in pain."

"Oh, you're right."

"Ugh, what's with this liquid, it just keeps dripping the more I touch it. Wait, if this thing was here for all this time, then it must have been spying on us!"

"YES.

_We said that already._

**Idiots.**"

"That's how they figured out my plan to blow up Conventia! That's how they not only avoided it but fooled us as well! That's why we're losing this war right now! Because of you! You little cookie bringing slime! ARRRGGGGGGHHHHH!" Red took the spy he held between his hands and threw it into the sky, hitting an aircraft and causing it to explode on impact.

"FOOLS!

**To be so incompetent that you let a spy infiltrate Irk!**"

"Well to be fair, it did had a pretty convincing disguise."

"Yes, it did mimic Irken disguise designs well, but no matter!

_You have doomed us all with that spy!_

**Now you shall be punished!**

EXECUTION!"

The Tallests quaked in fear and held each other at the thought of their imminent deaths. Even if the Control Brains weren't able to trace them should they escape, they were on a balcony thousands of feet in the air with a possessed Irken blocking the only entrance. It floated towards them, getting more menacing the closer it got, staring intensely at the Tallests with its glowing, possessed eyes. It continued to stare at them, and stare, then stare some more, maintaining the focus and intensity as it continued to stare.

"_Why aren't they dead?_

Who's in control of the tentacle?

**Not me, you decided I was too 'volatile', jerk.**

And every time you talk you only further prove my point.

**I'm gonna watch you explode someday.**

But not today.

**I might get lucky. Hey, loud idiot brain, use the tentacle to tear these Irkens in half already!**" The Control Brains waited for their fellow brain to activate the tentacle they had used earlier, but it didn't activate nor was there a loud outburst of few words.

"_I find this silence by the Brain disturbing._

Yes, could he have dis-possessed the Irken host?

**I'm surprised I haven't after hearing you talk.**

That's it! After we finish this I am shoving my tentacles in your orifices!

**Ha! Your tentacle skills are weak. I would've inserted and removed my tentacles before you even extended yours!**

Your juvenile taunts have no affect on me.

**'Your juvenile taunts have no affect on me, der, Imma a smart brain'**

Don't you mock me!

_Both of you should refrain from your bickering and focus on the task. One of us has dissap-ARARARKKKFDDDDSSSK-_

**What the-?!**

That did not sound good. Quick back to our bodies!"

The Control Brains de-possesed the Irken, much to the Tallests' relief, but they still had a link to the Irken body as the Tallests were still able to hear their voices.

"My Irk! Their bodies-what the, who are you?!

**You dare challenge us?! Eat my tentacle!...You-you actually ate it! **

Y-you-you're a bio-organic!

**That can't be, we're the last bio-organics in the universe!**

Ah! Stop eating my tentacles!

**Bio-organic, please, I understand my death is imminent, but I have one request. Kill the other one first.**

What?! You b-ARRRRGAGAKKK-

**Ha! Told you I'd watch you explode. Alright, I'm ready to di-ARRGAGK-...**"

The Tallests couldn't believe it, something, no, someone killed the Control Brains in seconds. While they were glad that they weren't going to die at the tentacles of their fallen leaders, there was still a losing war right behind them. Knowing all that, they did the only thing they could do, run away and attempt to escape the planet.

They ran back into the main room, and as soon as they passed the monitors showing the defeat of the other four major cities on Irk, they were staring at the barrel of two laser blasters. They were held by a tall, though still about a foot shorter than them, female Irken. She wasn't clad in the standard purple Irken armor their soldiers wore, instead she wore silver armor with black linings, just like the enemy Invaders.

"Who are you?" Purple asked.

"Wait, I remember you!" Red said, "You're Tori! No, that's not it. Ter! No that doesn't sound right. T-It's on the tip of my tongue, T-...Ta-...I got it. Your name is Ikary! Right?"

"It's Tak, you idiots! _Invader_ Tak!" The female Irken shouted at them, pushing the blasters closer so that they could feel the cold metal on their Irken skin.

"Uh, I don't seem to remember an Invader Tak at all."

"That's because I was never officially given the title of Invader."

"Well that's why, you can't expect us to memorize the names of non-Invaders do you?"

"But I should've been one! If not for an annoying, disgusting, disturbing, stupid Irken by the name of Zim!"

"Well we have something in common. We all hate Zim, so now can you let us go."

"No, because I've grown to disdain you two also! All those years of Earth, trying to please you, trying to get you to recognize me as an Invader, but always you forget my name, always you never acknowledged my offerings, and always Zim would muck up my plans to conquer earth in your honor!"

"Earth? The tiny, filthy rock we exiled Zim to?"

"Wait, I remember getting an offering from Earth once!" Purple said, "It was a case of metal cylinders containing liquids called dee-et Poop. It was disgusting, like they were purposely absent of any sort of sweetness."

"That was from Earth? I thought Skoodge just sent us more rat people drool."

"Honestly, I thought the drool tasted better than the Poop."

"Eh, yeah but the texture is what kind of ruined it for me. It was just so slim-"

"Hey!" Tak interrupted, "Did you two forget that I have two lasers pressing against your skulls?"

"Oh right! We're at the mercy of...uh...What was your name again?"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"STOP!" Tak was a half second away from pulling the trigger before she was interrupted by a deep voice.

"Who said that?" Purple asked, "And why does his voice feels like smooth peanut butter rubbing my antennae?"

"It came from me," an even taller figure stood at the door frame of the room. He took out a blaster and shot out the lights in the room before entering. The newly created shadows obscured his face as he approached the Tallests. A black cloak hid his entire body, the only thing visible were his white eyes.

"You! I have no idea who you are!"

"You shouldn't, but you can call me many names. The destroyer of your Control Brains for example. The conqueror of your planets is another. The leader of the invading forces works just as well. Or simply, the Employer."

"You're leading this invasion?! Not Zim?!" Red asked.

"No, but he was a great decoy. You were planning on fighting on Zim's level, to fight stupid with stupid, which worked so well for me, because I'm not stupid."

"So that means it was you who did all this? Cutting off our communications, decimating our resources planet by planet, and sending a spy to infiltrate our base?!" Purple said.

"Si! It was so easy to plan my attacks based on my spy's information. Even after you cleverly deduced my attack pattern as a smiley face, I did the unthinkable! I went from the bottom up when I began the nose pattern!"

"You vile slime! Who does that?!"

" I even took the trouble to set up that hologram for Conventia but it was worth it just to hear your pitiful screams of despair at the realization that you failed."

"Why are you doing this?" Red asked.

"Jajajaja, what reason do you have for your invasions? Do you really need to devote an entire planet's resources to making melted cheese for your chips?"

"Hey, that melted cheese is an Irken delicacy!" Purple retorted.

"That melted cheese is your downfall! No longer were you expanding your military might but choosing what comfort item your new planet will focus on exporting. You got cozy in this empire your race built, never worrying about any sort of threat, which made it much easier for my forces to suddenly overwhelm you."

"You still haven't answered why you're doing this," Red said.

"Because I can. I have the power to watch entire civilizations bend before my will, why would I be content with existing in a universe where beings, who are weaker, lazier, and dumber than I, are the ones in control? Tell me, why shouldn't I, the superior being, not take this universe?"

Red couldn't counter him. He was essentially using the same logic the Control Brains had told all the Irkens. They were the strongest race, anything else was inferior, they were made to stand on the heads of others.

"You won't win."

"Jajajajajajajajajajaja! Your stupidity never stops amusing me. Laugh with me Tak, jajajajaja," Tak let out a forced laughter as the employer commanded. "Thanks to your conveniently placed monitors, I can see everything in every other major city I invaded; such as the maiming of your race, the pools of Irken blood flowing through the ground, my armies trampling the corpses, and my forces taking full control of your cities."

Red and Purple wanted to turn to look but were afraid of the blasters still pressed to their foreheads. They were suppose to be the strongest race, but it was obvious they were going to lose. Irk had never felt such despair in eons. Might, intelligence, and superiority, those words meant everything to the Irkens and the Tallests. "We lose" were the two words that should never be uttered by the Tallests, and they never will be.

The Employer still watched the screen, feeling joy from seeing his forces triumphantly destroying Irkens, the feeling rapidly turned to shock as he saw the cities in the monitors blow up one by one. The ace was played. Thanks to the darkness, neither Tak nor the Employer were able to see the four spider legs from Red's PAK activate the four buttons below the monitors.

"I guess your spy didn't tell you about that did it?" Red said.

"Is the answer to all your losses to blow things up?" the Employer said.

"Well it is simple," Purple replied.

"You know, the only reason I stopped Tak from shooting you in the face was because I wanted to gloat. Now that you've wiped out over seventy percent of my forces, I'm just going to kill you now," Red didn't have any words, but he didn't feel fear anymore, mostly because he used up their fear the two other times they faced near death today. "I like that silence. It reflects what you'll be saying in the future."

"You mean because they'll be dead, right?" Tak said.

"Si, Tak, I was trying to be ominous. Why can't you read my tone?"

"Wait!" Purple shouted, "You don't want to kill us now!"

"Some last minute effort to delay your deaths? I don't care, shoot them."

"Wait, wait, wait! There's something you need to know!"

"Ugh, you have five seconds."

"Uh-...uh-look over there!"

"...Really...I give you a few seconds to somehow save your lives and you say 'look over there'?"

"Uh, sir?" Tak said.

"Not now, Tak. That right there is why I just _have_ to take this universe from you. You're just stupid, and letting stupid beings have power is a disservice to the universe."

"Oh Irk!"

"What now, Ta-" The Employer finally saw what Tak was looking at. From the open balcony they saw something headin-no, crashing towards them. The Tallests turned their heads and noticed the impending danger as well. All four leaped away as the object went right through the balcony and landed right in front of them. The object was metal sphere, about four feet in diameter.

"Hey answer me! Someone answer, there's a problem here!" A voice came from the sphere. The Employer motioned for Tak to go near it. She obeyed and cautiously approached it.

"I fell out of orbit! Please, hurry up and respond! Zim!"

That name instantly made all four of them twitch. Tak was next to the sphere and touched it. Slowly a hatched opened and revealed the being inside. It was a small being with cybernetic limbs, it was talking to some sort of communicator.

"Hurry up and help me already! I-" The being finally noticed the four beings staring at him, "Oh crap."

"What is that thing?" Purple asked.

"Wait, I recognize you," Tak said, "You're one of Zim's peons."

"Uh-...uh-look over there!" The little being shouted.

"...Shoot him," The Employer commanded. Tak took aim with her blaster but just as she was about to pull the trigger a monitor appeared, barricading the small being. It turned on and an image of a decapitated head of one of the Employer's moose soldiers appeared on screen, being held by three black-gloved fingers.

"Hello Employer and stupid Tak! It is I, your dumb moose soldier!" The voice on the screen said in a mocking tone. The hands shook the head up and down attempting to mimic natural head motion. No one was amused. The hands then threw the head away, showing an all too familiar being. "Hahaha! Had your feeble minds fooled, didn't I? Fools, that wasn't your dead soldier talking, it was I-"

"Zim?!"

"ZIM!"

"_Zim._" Purple, Red, and Tak said with confusion, hatred, and disdain respectively.

"-Zim!" Zim finished.

"I told you he wasn't dead, idiota," The Employer said. Tak, being the closest to the monitor, was the first to notice that Zim wasn't alone. Behind him stood the two annoying humans she knew, Gaz and Dib, Skoodge, the Fefian, and the two Darvons she had saw with him.

"Indeed, I am still living. What fools you were to just leave me, you should've just stuck a blade through my skull or something." The Employer wanted to slap Tak since even Zim pointed out her mistake.

"Zim! Why are you here? This guy said you weren't invading Irk!" Red said.

"Ah, my Tallests, good to see you. It seems you have been misinformed since I _am_ invading Irk!"

"Wait so we were right? But then-the control brains-the plan-explosions-" Red started jumbling his words at the confusion of the current situation.

"Don't worry, my Tallest, I'm not working with the pitiful shadowy being beside you. I am conquering Irk on my own! Then, after usurping your position and becoming the new leader of Irk you will return to me my title as Invader!"

"...WHAT?! You're going to usurp us, all for a title?!"

"Being an Invader is in my pants!"

"...You know what, I've been mentally tortured by you for months now. I'm just going to let you do whatever you want, I'm sick of this!" Red placed his fingers on his forehead, as if trying to relieve a searing migraine, which was common when talking to Zim.

"Why are you here, Zim," The Employer said, "You were given a chance to live. You should've just left, lived out the rest of your life cycle before I hunted you down for amusement."

"Hahahaha! As if you're going to be the one who conquers this universe before Zim!" Zim said, "You're not in any position to make threats against me either."

"What are you talking about?"

"Look over there!" Zim pointed away from him but the monitor was still fixated on him, "...Gir move your head!"

"Okay!" Shouted a high-pitched voice on the monitor. The camera panned to reveal a large glass cylinder with energy flowing through it.

"Recognize it?"

"That's-that's my ship's power core!" The Employer said.

"Yes! This battle you're having with Irk was a great distraction for my small group to infiltrate your ship. Most of your crew is still preoccupied with the battle below and haven't even realized we're in here."

"Zim, don't you dare do anything to El Moosey Megaship Mark Cinco!"

"Unfortunately, Employer, I don't care." Zim held up a detonator for the Employer to see before pressing the button. An explosion of sparks and energy erupted behind Zim as the core of the ship was blown up. The ship was apparently falling as the camera began shaking. "Hahahahahahahahahaha!"

"Zim!" Gaz shouted in anger as she grabbed onto him, "Did you seriously just blow up the ship while we were still on it?!"

"Yes!...AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-" The screen went black, but the Employer and Tak could easily tell what was happening just by looking outside. They walked towards the opening caused by the metal sphere to get a better look. It was the sight of their mothership falling from orbit, on a collision course towards the planet's surface.

"Maybe he'll finally die this time," Tak said optimistically. The Employer just glared at her and Tak let out a sigh, "Yeah, he'll probably miraculously survive this too."

"Let's kill his pawn before we go to deal with him," The Employer said but when they turned around, a saucer appeared below the sphere and launched it upwards, destroying the ceiling of the building and getting away from them. "Arrgh! Let's just kill these tall bugs then."

"Uh, sir."

"They escaped didn't they."

"Yes."

"Arrgh. I hate Zim!"

"Uh, sir."

"...There's worse news isn't there?" Tak motioned for the Employer to look outside again. A very large ship with an immense cockpit was piercing the atmosphere of Irk. Just the sight of another mothership was worrying enough but this one lowered itself close to the city and began transforming. Arms and legs were formed and a face was projected on the cockpit, the eyes resembling Earth glasses. A piece of the ship attached itself on top of the head and cascaded downward, forming the shape of a scythe. It let out the roar of an angsty, douchey teenager and proceeded to go on a rampage in the city, attacking all in sight.

Unfathomable anger began boiling up in the Employer. Zim was no longer an annoying needle in his plan, and now he was going to make sure the Irken suffers. The enraged Employer screamed the name of his soon-to-be-victim.

"Zim! ZIM! _**ZIIIIIM!**_"


	32. Final DOOM: Crash

So I know it's been a year since the last update and those of you that read it a year ago have probably moved on reading better things, but for those of you reading this, I'm sorry. I know some of you probably want to harvest my organs in anger so don't worry, you'll get your organs.

I actually went through a dry period of not writing anything for six months and then I actually started working on it again in august. I actually had this chapter done for months. The reason I didn't update was because I wanted to write this last arc at once, so I could go back make sure I don't make continuity errors or have past chapters restrict the writing. However, I felt a year was a ridiculously long time for one chapter. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter and I know my word is feces but I can guarantee a new chapter before February.

* * *

The Employer and Tak had been watched with the tenacity of a psychotic stalker. During the weeks and weeks of siege on the Irken home world, a single sphere orbited the planet, small enough to avoid being detected by any known scanner and disguised as nothing more than floating debris. Within the pod existed the most important tool; a Photon Wave Emitter. The pod would constantly scan the Employer's mothership, emitting a particle wave light and small enough to phase through solid objects while slightly detecting any distortions in the affected space. This created a map of the exterior and interior of El Moosey Megaship Mark Cinco that was constantly refined as more waves were sent out. Objects in motion would simply leave a faint ghost trail while static objects could be mapped. The pod was able to detect any movement made by the Employer and Tak, and more importantly, create a schematic of the interior of the antler-shaped ship.

Once the Employer and Tak had left their mothership, the remaining moose forces became lax. Most of the forces were already sent towards Irk with only the workers required to maintain the ship's functions were left. Now they simply awaited the inevitable announcement of victory, unaware of the signal that was sent immediately after their leader's leave.

Two cylindrical pods stealth by Vortian technology were jettisoned towards El Moosey Megaship Mark Cinco. The two pods attached themselves silently to the two ends of the ship, identified as the security center and the communications maintenance room. Each room only had three or less guards stationed, making it easy for the rotating, laser saw-blades on the pods to slice a hole through the ship without notice.

In the communications room stood three moose soldiers, casually staring into the buttons, panels, and levers at the stations they were assigned to. Their brains only reacted with a slight twitch of their arms at the glimpse of two scaly beings and a big-headed fleshbag thrusting laser-swords towards their face. The moment laser met moose-brains all mental functions ceased and pain was no longer felt. The beings confirmed the deaths and made sure they were alone as a fourth being, a squishy, snarky mechanic dropped into the room. She had been given files that only had to be uploaded into the communications systems. They would silence all verbal transmissions throughout the ship, effectively muting the Employer's mothership.

Meanwhile, the security room only had two moose soldiers, and it only took one temperamental human to permanently dispatch them. Two Irkens and a robot servant dropped from the pod, the tallest one approaching the console controlling all the monitors on the ship. Once he got into the system, he looped the security footage to avoid suspicion while remaining undetected.

They had successfully cut the tongue and gouged the eyes of the ship. All the inhabitant of the ship were unaware of the deadly beings, never knowing where they were, why they were here, and who they were, not until their life disappeared less than a second later. Any moose who caught sight of the intruders would get their head sliced between the eyes by a laser-sword-handed meatsack, body blasted to fractions by a limbless lizard-being, limbs crunched between the teeth of a reptile, ribs squashed at the hands of a squishy tinkerer, neck broken by a short combat specialist, being mauled by a purple-haired demon, or skull bashed by a little robot wielded by a tall Invader. Nothing was able to stop them from reaching the core.

* * *

Tel had felt many moments of regret throughout his time in Zim's Mega-Doom Armada. After spending what could have been months in a small, spherical pod, he had to suffer through meeting Zim's enemies face to face after crashing from orbit like a meteor. Now he was flying across to who knows where, for all he knew Zim could be sending him towards some Irken volcano or giant worm beast. The only thought that gave him comfort during all this time was that it beats being a mindless drone in his sister's cult, maybe.

The pod finally stopped, the sudden loss of velocity was strong enough to send Tel crashing towards the front part of the pod, fortunately the metal half of his face took most of the impact. He felt the pod move again, but at a slower rate than before. It came to a halt and the pod slowly opened up; real, artificial light spread upon Tel's face and soon he found himself in a circular room, surrounded by the remaining Heboadians that had survived throughout all of Zim's escapades.

"Sir, we're glad to have you aboard!" greeted one of the Heboadians who aided Tel as he got out of the pod. He took a moment to recall the being's name, life in the pod had boggled his mind a bit.

"Uh, Plun, right?" Tel asked.

"Yes, Tel, sir!"

"Where are we?"

"On Irk, inside the Dibship, sir!"

"What?!" Before he left Vort, Tel got a brief briefing of Zim's "plan" of which he only received vague bullet points, but he at least knew that the Dibship being on Irk meant Zim had begun the final assault. "Alright, what are our orders, Plun?"

"Mayhem and chaos, sir."

"Elaborate, please."

"The Dibship is to wreak havoc in the Irken capital using the tools at its disposal."

"Okay, who's running the Dibship?"

"We are."

"What?! We have no experience on a ship, if we did we'd have left our planet long before Zim showed up!"

"Don't worry, sir, we've reviewed all the necessary knowledge for ship maintenance through the video documents owned by the human our almighty Dibship takes his name from!"

"And that's going to make you experts?"

"Yes sir, we've already installed the whooshing doors, placed our people in front of blinking monitors and buttons with ambiguous purposes, and captured several Irkens and moose and painted them red to act as sacrificial fodder when trouble arises!"

"I have several problems with those statements, but it's the best we're gonna get so I'll live with them." Plun led Tel to a room where several Heboadians stood in front of consoles. Tel was motioned to stand on top of a glowing circle in the room's center. The Heboadians began pushing on the buttons as Tel was given several devices that looked like pieces of armor. "What's all this?"

"Zim notified us that you will be piloting the Dibship yourself."

"Maybe I won't live after all. What's Zim thinking making _me_ a pilot?"

"He said 'Tel's combat ability easily outshines the rest of your pitiful race's attempt at close-quarters pain causing'."

"What's close-quarters combat have to do with piloting a ship?"

"What? You haven't seen the current state of the Dibship, yet, sir?"

"The current state of the Dibsh-" Tel was separated from Plun by the sudden appearance of holographic monitors floating in from of them. They revealed live diagnostics for the Dibship, a screen displaying the carnage happening outside the ship, and the image of a humanoid robot titled "Dibship".

The design resembled a slim human while being armored in the torso, legs, and forearms. Several huge thrusters were curved around its back and stretching down about halfway to the legs, creating an image similar to a cape or coattail. The head of the mech had a large projection coming from the top of the head that ended at the back, forming a scythe-like shape. A jolt of glee ran through Tel at the thought of piloting a giant robot, but he quickly regained composure in front of his followers. "I see, so that's, uh, what you mean."

"Sir, the Dibship's body will move as you do as long as the glove and boots are on and modules we placed onto your mechanical arm aren't disconnected. Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Begin manual overwrite!" Tel watched as progress bars and sequences of code filled his monitors and rapidly moved in front of his eyes. The audio feed of the outside was increasing in volume. The Dibship had been in autopilot up to now and his voicing of his frustrations were audible to Tel.

"Don't blame me for your gruesome deaths! Only blame yourselves for the universe's faults!" it said as moose and Irkens alike were being squished by the movement of the unstable AI.

"I'm not an emotional wreck! You're the wreck! Because I just wrecked your face! And the rest of your body! Oh, god, I've gotten so fat. Why must I be cursed with this body?! Must fate always deal me a hand of random, unrelated numbers in the game of life-poker?! Oh, that was good, I must write that down-THERE IS NO PENCIL GARGANTUAN ENOUGH FOR ME TO WIELD! CRUEL, WICKED, DOUCHEY FATE! How can this get any wor-what's this? I can't feel... my body, senses faded...NOOOOOOO! Damn you paraplegia, you have struck me down again!"

The Dibship was syncing up with Tel's movement and soon the Heboadian had full control. He quickly adjusted to the feel of maneuvering around with the body and proceeded to do as he was commanded, cause mayhem and chaos. He resumed where the Dibship had left off in slaying the moose and Irkens beneath him and punching the buildings. One of the monitors prompted Tel to raise his mechanical arm into the air. Following the movement, the Dibship's arm transformed and flames began spewing from it. Tel would put that flamethrower to good use.

Irken and moose aircraft both targeted the Dibship with their weapons. Tel instinctively waved the mech's arm at the annoying fliers, causing the aircraft to come crashing down, some of which went barreling towards the Dibship.

"AAAHHHHHHHH!" Tel was electrocuted upon impact. The ships had hit the Dibship's left leg, causing it to be in a kneeling position which Tel was forced into as well. "Plun! What the Boad was that?!"

"An electric shock, sir," Plun answered, "It's to heighten your battle instincts. Also your body will follow the movement of the Dibship for better synergy."

"If the Dibship becomes tilted then how is this room not at an angle also?"

"This room is on an axis, like a gyro, no matter how the outer shell moves this room will remain parallel to the surface. So we'll be fine for when you take stinging pain to your nerves and bumble around like the monkey you are."

"You didn't have to phrase it like that, Plun."

"Just echoing Zim's words, sir."

Tel got back up and resumed his rampage through Irk. There may be physical pain involved along the way, but at least it has its perks, its doom-causing, death-bringing, burning-beings-alive perks.

* * *

"ZIM! YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLY DUMB!" Gaz was slightly upset over Zim's destruction of the Employer's ship core, while they were still on the ship, in space. Now Zim's invading force was clutching onto anything sturdy while trapped in the center of a ship that was going to crash on Irk.

"When did you even place those bombs on the core?!" Dib was holding onto a railing that led to the now broken core.

"Actually, I placed those bombs," Daj said. He was holding onto Kry who used his teeth to hook into the room.

"What?! And you didn't say anything?!"

"I didn't know the drone was gonna blow them up!"

"They're bombs," Kor said, "Did you expect them to give you hugs or something?"

"I didn't think the drone was gonna blow them up _while we were on the ship_."

"Silence! All of you!" Zim needed them to stop bickering in order to formulate an escape plan, even though the bickering was his fault. Even he knew he did an incredibly shortsighted move in prematurely blowing the core, but he was never going to admit that. "This is all just a part of my plan!"

"Zim, that's a load of cow feces," Dib responded.

"Shut up! You're obviously too stupid with your feeble human brain to comprehend the complexity of this plan! Skoodge, surely you can see the might of this plan!"

"I, uh, my Talle-...I have no comment," Skoodge replied. His brain was still trying to comprehend how his Tallest made such a mistake.

"Fine! You will all witness the excellence of Zim's plans!" Zim was still bluffing his way through this for the most part. He was trying to think of something during all of that but still came up with nothing. There's no way for them to make it to the main deck of the ship in time to even attempt to gain control, attempting to jump out from this height would just be jumping into a different crisis, unfortunately that seemed like the best solution. Until Gir crashed into Zim's stomach.

Zim let out a cry of pain. Gir had been floating around the room the entire time, enjoying the gain in velocity, however this collision caused Zim to let go of the console he was holding onto. His body flew upwards towards the inner wall of the room, but he was stopped before his head was going to smash against it. He saw that a pale hand was holding onto his leg.

"Just because I saved you doesn't mean I'm not going to kill you later," Gaz said, "So hurry up and do your escape plan already so we can get out."

Zim paused and stared at her.

"What?!" Gaz shouted at him. That brought him back into reality. He didn't know why he blanked out. He could only assume Gaz has said something that shocked him a bit, or Gir had hit his squeedly spooch too hard. However, he finally formed an idea to get them out. He turned to the device on his wrist and recalled how they originally got into the ship, the pods.

From Zim's device he began remotely controlling one of the pods. It should still be attached to one of the ends of the mothership so he had to navigate it to the core. He just had to take into account the distance, terminal velocity within Irk's gravity, acceleration due to mass, force of impact, etc., just simple calculations. When Zim heard the loud thud on the wall above him, he knew he succeeded. Lasers began cutting through the metal of the wall, cutting a hole to their only way out.

Zim grabbed Gir and Skoodge and then launched himself towards the hole and looked triumphantly down upon his followers, "Haha! You fools doubted the advanced mind of Zim! Now gaze at Zim's genius with your feeble minds!"

"Holy crap!" Dib yelled, "Maybe we'll live after all!"

"Now quickly decide amongst yourselves who to leave behind."

"...Maybe not," Kor said.

"What?!" Dib exclaimed.

"The pod can't fit all of us, stupid Dib-worm. I'll be taking Gir and Skoodge, but the rest of you are equally expendable! Now hurry up so Zim can esc-" Zim heard an explosion behind him. He didn't need to look back to realize what had happened. Gir and Skoodge were pulled from Zim's grasp by the immense force that was now pulling on him as well. He screamed as his body went through the hole where the now exploded pod had been.

"Zim-Ahhhhhhh!"

"Gaz! Whoaaaa-"

"Whoawhoawho-wait Dibyou'recollidingtowardsu-" When Zim made his sudden exit, Gaz tried to reach for him, only to get pulled by the same force that pulled Zim, causing Dib to make a poor attempt at saving her, only to lose his grip and collide headfirst into Daj and Kry, leaving only Kor in the crashing ship. She took a second to ponder what would hurt more, a flaming metal death, or going splat on the surface of a planet. She decided to let go.

Kor was now free falling into the middle of an alien war from a height of what could be thousands of earth miles. She had let go quickly enough to be within earshot of Daj, Kry, and Dib. Daj was berating Dib for causing all of them to fly out of the ship, Dib pointed out how staying in the ship wouldn't have changed their situation anyway.

"It's so nice to know that you two can be falling to your death and still argue about stupid stuff," Kor shouted at them.

"Kor? What are you doing here?!" Dib said, "Wait, never-mind, can you get here and let me use you to cushion my fall?!"

"Even if I could cushion your fall enough for you to survive and had a desire to harm myself for your benefit, there's no possible way for me to get to you!"

"Of course you can, you just have to...fall...faster...or something."

"Gravity doesn't work that way!"

"But what about density and air resistance and stuff like that!"

"You sound like such an expert in physics."

"Why do you have to be so sarcastic WHEN I'M FALLING TO MY DEATH?!"

"It makes me feel better about myself."

"Well I'm about to feel dead!"

"You can't feel when you're dead!"

"Shut up, Kor!"

"How about you both shut up and get on the damn pod already!" Dib and Kor had failed to notice the flying pod that was near them while they argued. Zim had connected to the second pod and piloted towards them. Gaz, who had shouted at them, pulled Dib onto the pod and then grabbed Kor. Everyone was clinging onto the metal cylinder, to the point where Daj and Kry were almost dangling on the sides. Zim was gripping onto it with his legs while controlling the ship with the device on his wrist.

"See, you foolish worms! Through my genius, my plan had come together and saved all of your pitiful lives!" Zim shouted.

Everyone was getting sick of Zim's insistence on inflating his ego. Gaz was the first to express her opinion verbally, "...Bullsh-"

"SHIP!" Dib's interjection caused the others to turn their heads where he was looking. The ship had antler shaped wings and was dome with some kind of glass-like material, giving a clear view of the moose pilot, and the ship was charging right at them. The shock caused Zim to make their pod suddenly dive, but it also saved their lives in the process.

"That was definitely a moose!" Dib said.

"Does this pod have any weaponry we can use?!" Daj aked.

"No, this is a breaching pod," Zim said as he dodged another charge from the moose ship.

"Does anyone have any weapons on them?" Kor asked.

"The Dib-monkey has a laser sword!"

"What can we do with that?"

"Throw the flesh sack!"

"What?! No way!" Dib objected.

"For once in your miserable life, be useful!"

"Throwing me won't solve anythi-LASERS!"

"Huh-AHHHH!" Red lasers began to spew from the moose ship. Zim began a serpentine maneuver to dodge the beams of death. While Zim could continue to pilot the ship like this, the various twists, turns, and sudden drops had everyone using all their strength to just to avoid falling off, soon it wouldn't matter if the pod gets shot by a laser.

Gaz noticed that the ship was getting closer and closer. She grabbed Gir and asked a single question, "Zim, you're probably the best pilot here, right?"

"Of course, none of you come close to my skill!" That's all Gaz needed to hear.

"Keep the pod steady."

"Has your mind devolved, Gaz-Wait, why are you st-WHY ARE YOU HOLDING ZIM?! STO-AAAHHHHHHHH!"

The moose was getting frustrating. It couldn't believe it was taking this long to shoot down a flying cylinder that was half the size of the ship it was piloting, the the targets barely holding on to it. The rage it felt caused it to revert to its instincts, the moose decided to charge. This was the most basic maneuver that was programmed into its brain for aerial combat. It was just a simple, sudden thrust of the engines.

Time slowed for the moose as it inched closer to ramming the Irken pod. It was so focused on the enemy aircraft, it didn't notice the object pressing against the clear barrier that was protecting it. The moose watched at the barrier slowly began to bend before shattering, pieces flew towards its head. In the next moment the moose felt pain, it felt the coldness of its armor being crushed inwards towards its face, it felt the motion of its neck twisting until the bone finally left its socket. The moose only saw a glimpse of the object, its final sight was a blur of silver and cyan.

Dib, Kor, Daj, Kry, and Skoodge watched Gaz's leap onto the moose ship, taking Zim and Gir with her. They were silenced by the feat they had just saw.

"Dib, your sister is the scariest being I have ever met," Kor was the first to break the silence.

"I'm with Kor," Daj said.

"I'm questioning her humanity at this point," Dib said.

"No one's piloting our pod," Skoodge observed.

"Yeah...Wait, WHAT?!" Dib and the others were in such awe at Gaz's inhuman abilities that they failed to notice their pod plunging to Irk's surface.

"Zim left the scary, purple human and now no one's left to pilot this."

"Can't you do it?!"

"No, I'm not skilled enough to operate this aircraft."

"How the Fef can you be so calm?!" Kor yelled.

"Now that we've reached this height, I am confident that I can survive this."

"HOW?!" Daj shouted. Skoodge didn't say anything and only turned away from the group. The little Irken jumped from the pod and was free-falling. They watched the Irken's PAK beeped twice and four tentacles appeared and quickly formed a triangle. A light screen filled the triangle, creating a hang glider which he used to fly away. "...Damn Drone."

"We're screwed, aren't we?" Dib said in despair.

"Well, Kor will live no matter what, Kry and I have a chance of making it out alive with our internal structures messed up, but your squishy flesh is pretty much done for. So nice knowing you, Dib."

"Gee, thanks."

"There is a chance for you to survive, Dib," Kor said.

"Really, how?!"

"We could try jumping off before impact to sort of reset our terminal velocity. Most beings wouldn't be able to create a velocity large enough to counteract the object in free fall but my boots can multiply the amount of force I exert so it might be able to-"

"So physics."

"It's a lot more complicated than that. I need to exert close to double the force in the opposite-"

"I'm gonna die in five seconds just do physics already!"

"Ugh, fine. Hold on to me." Dib, Daj, and Kry held onto Kor as she stood upright on the pod, readying herself for the jump. She set her power boots to max and faced the ground. The surface of Irk drew closer to her face. She jumped.

Kor had never attempted to jump with her boots on max settings, kick sure, but jumping with this much force was never necessary. Add in the fact that she upgraded her boots and gloves on Vort meant that the force she pushed off the pod was much greater than she expected.

"Good news is that we were able to reset our velocity," Kor said the beings clinging onto her, "Crappy news is that we're still ridiculously high."

"Well FU-AAAAAAAAAAAAA-" Dib screamed as the four now plummeted to Irk. Dib felt his life flash before him for the fourth time today. He glanced at the purple spot on Irk that would be the site of his painful demise as he held his comrades tight. Everything went black. The moment before he had felt the force of the impact throughout his body and was certain his soul had left his body, until he opened his eyes.

There was light, he felt sore and bruised and possibly had a few broken ribs but he was breathing. He jumped up with his arms held out and shouted in joy, "I LIIIIVVEE!"

"Great, now get off!" Dib looked down at his feet to find his soles digging into Kor's face. He found himself standing on top of a pile of extraterrestrials, beneath Kor was Daj, and beneath Daj was Kry who laid flat on his back with his lands and feet laid out.

"Holy crap, are they dead?" Dib jumped of the mound of beings, allowing Kor to stand upright as well. Daj let out a groan before speaking.

"No...but these sores I'm feeling makes me wish I was," Daj slowly got up and helped Kry to his feet. The quadrupedal Darvon arched his back, his bones in his body made loud cracks. Kry started moving around like it didn't just fall from the sky. "Darvon scales are pretty durable. I still felt the impact from your body, Dib. I think your robotic hand punched me in the gut."

"At least we all made it out in one piece."

"There's still a few of us unaccounted for," Kor said.

Dib wondered what Kor was talking about. The rush he felt from knowing he just survived a free fall from near orbit was preventing from thinking straight. Kor gave Dib a scowl since he was taking so long, the disdainful look on the being's face jogged his memory, "Oh my god! Where's Gaz?!"

The human teenager frantically looked around for any sign of his sister. He heard a noise above him and turned to face it. There was the fighter that Gaz had ambushed with Zim, flying diagonally towards the ground. It flew past the four beings on the ground and was close enough to cause Kor and Dib to topple over from the force of the wind. The small plane hit the surface and began to skid into Irk, causing dirt to surround the plane, burying itself within the planet's crust.

"Gaaaaazzzzzz!" Dib yelled as he ran towards the wreckage. The others followed him. "Gaz! Gaz! Gaaaaazzzzzzzz-"

Dib was hit in the head by a metal object, knocking him down. He tilted his head down to find a little robot sittng on his chest.

"That landing sucked, Zim."

"You are lucky that the controls were based off Irken designs, human. I had thought it was only your wormy brother that had mental malfunctions, but apparently it is a trait shared within your inferior non-Irken genes!"

"And waiting to get shot down by a moose is a _much_ better plan," at that moment, Gaz stuck her head out of the plane, much to Dib's delight.

"I could've outmaneuvered it!" Zim followed Gaz out of the plane. Most of the crew were a little upset that their Irken captain had been virtually unharmed throughout all of that.

"My Tallest!" The voice came from the sky. Skoodge was gliding safely to his leader, joyful to see he had survived. Zim and Gaz climbed off the crashed fighter and stood on the Irken soil. Skoodge floated safely in front of Zim as his hanglider retracted back into his PAK and gave a salute.

Zim gave his servant a quizzical look, "Skoodge? Were you just gliding using your PAK?"

"Yes. It's standard issue for Invaders."

"It is?! I mean, yes, standard issue. Of course Zim has a better model." Gaz rolled her eyes at Zim. The Irken turned towards his still alive meat-shields and addressed them, "Ah, my slaves, you lived."

Daj, Kor, and Dib gave Zim a death glare. Kor spoke up first, "You left us to crash on top of a pod."

"I wasn't the one who jumped into a plane through the cockpit." The others realized Zim made a point, even if there was a long list of events that warranted the death glare at Zim. They decided to drop the issue since threatening someone who jumped into a plane was not a good idea.

"So where are we, Zim?" Dib asked. Now that the danger was over for the moment, Zim's armada finally had a chance to observe their surroundings. The ground and plant life surrounding them were several different shades of purple and green. The only other variation of color was the silver and black on parts of the small, man-made constructs surrounding them, the tallest construct being about two stories tall. It wasn't what one would expect from the most dominant race in the universe. Far to the left of the buildings was a giant wall, taller than the Vortian Research building they had fought in and long enough so that they couldn't see where it started and ended.

The next thing they noticed was that there were no Irkens or moose warriors in sight. There wasn't even anything broken, cracked, or scratched aside from the damage they caused. The place was completely dead.

"We're in the outskirts of Irk's capitol. This is just a small settlement for the Irkens that were unassigned or forced to gather natural resources." Zim began walking around and studying the area. He couldn't find any trace of his people.

"Why is this place abandoned?" Gaz asked.

"The Irkens who lived here has almost no combat training. Irk must be in trouble if they had to recruit them. We have to get into the city just past that wall." Zim pointed behind them. They turned to find a giant wall separating the settlement from the rest of the capitol. It was as tall as the skyscrapers Dib and Gaz would see on earth.

"Before you make us do another stupid scheme, mind telling us what we're going to be doing inside the city?"

"First we have to find the Tallest, then retrieve the dimension portal from the Employer's Mothership, before defeating the Employer. Then I, Zim, shall stand tall over his corpse in delicious victory!"

"Hold on," Kor interjected just as Zim was about to launch one of his maniacal attacks, "We need to go back to the Mothership?"

"Yes, Tinkerer. Did your thought processes not-"

Gaz punched Zim in the face, "YOU CRASHED THE MOTHERSHIP YOU DUMBASS!"

Zim was on the ground, supporting himself with one hand and using the other to rub the part of his face where Gaz's fist had made contact. Once his realization of his oversight registered in his head a look of shock briefly appeared on his face. Even if Zim realized his stupidity in prioritizing his objectives, he wasn't going to admit it "O-Of course I knew tha-"

"Then why didn't we get the portal before blowing up the core?!" Dib yelled at Zim.

"That's because, uh, because!"

"Stop, all of you!" Skoodge got between Zim and the mob that was increasingly growing in anger. Zim felt a slight relief at the sight of his fellow Irken coming to his defense. "I'm certain that my Almighty Tallest has a perfectly good explanation for this seemingly severe and single-celled brain level oversight."

The fear returned to Zim once he realized Skoodge did nothing to alleviate the situation. In an act of desperation he turned to Gir and grabbed the little robot. He brought Gir close to his face, hoping he could draw some sort of ideas from his long time servant bot.

"Toenails."

Zim didn't know what he was thinking of turning to Gir for this situation. Suddenly he threw the robot at his non-Irken companions, only for Gir to be caught by Gaz. This act of attempted physical violence was probably not the best idea, especially since the end result was giving Gaz a weapon. Gaz with any solid object in her hands would always equal pain and Zim still remembers the burning feeling caused by the Fefian's blood. Dib was just a measly worm to Zim though.

"Uuuaaaarrrrrggggggghhhhh!" A strange scream erupted somewhere near them.

"What was that?!" Dib asked, looking around for the source.

"So we are being watched," Gaz said.

"What?"

"I noticed something moving in the plants over there after we landed. I sent Daj and Kry to investigate."

"What?! I am the leader! Zim! How dare you order-" Zim clutched his midsection as Gaz kicked him in the squeedly-spooch to shut him up.

Dib took a quick glance around him, "That would explain why Daj and Kry aren't here."

"Get off me! How dare you, do you realize who we are...those are very sharp teeth..."

"Don't hurt us, please. We have an allergic reaction to any form of bodily harm, especially harm caused by giant blasters."

There were two voices. Dib felt like he knew those voices, maybe hearing them once or twice before. The voices caught the attention of Skoodge and Zim immediately.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" A unison of cries from the two voices were let out at their bodies were thrown towards Zim and the others, their arms tied together to limit movement. Daj and Kry walked out behind them, blaster pointed and teeth bared to block off their escape. Zim got up to stand before the eavesdroppers, they were his former leaders.

"My Tallests!" Zim exclaimed. The red and purple Irkens looked up to face their former Invader and looks of disdain appeared on their faces.

"Oh Irk. We were hoping we wouldn't have to deal with you again," Red started, "Unfortunately someone felt the need to stay and watch."

"Come on, it was Zim in pain, live!" Purple said.

"Well, it was fun to watch. Why are you even here anyway Zim?!"

"I must exact my revenge on the Employer!" Zim replied. "Then after I demolish his forces and crush his body between my mighty Irken fingers I shall complete my conquest of Irk and regain my Invader title!"

"...All you want, is your INVADER TITLE BACK?!"

"It is what I am meant to be! Being an Invader is in my pants!"

"...pants?" Purple said confusedly.

"You know what, Zim, I'm not in the mood to point out all your idiocies in your plan so I'm just going to give you your title back."

"I refuse!" Zim shouted.

"Now that that's don-wait, refuse? What?!"

"Zim refuses to be given the title by you two, my Tallests, for I shall have Irk in my grasp within the day! I will be the Almighty Invader Tallest! Hahahahaha!" Gir and Skoodge gave Zim applause as he laughed.

"Fine, do what you want! Just tell your minions to untie us so we can escape!"

"Escape! But the battle for Irk-"

"Is lost."

"What?!"

"It's over, done, finished!" Purple shouted, "The Irken empire is terminated!"

"How did Irk lose in such a short period of time?!"

"The enemy forces were too strong," Red had a twinge of anger in his tone. "We had no data on what race they were or what hole in the universe they were hiding in. Their technology was evenly matched with ours. The strength and combat abilities of their soldiers countered our numbers advantage."

"And that whole eating each other to make giant monster versions of themselves doesn't help things," Purple added.

Zim didn't think the Irken empire, _his_ empire, would fall in such a short time.

"Zim, didn't your race take over everything?" Dib interjected, "How can we beat an army of super-moose when your race couldn't?"

"Super-moose?" Red said confusedly, "You know what these things are?!"

"They're Earth creatures."

"EARTH?! That's impossible! When we probed that rock we determined all the lifeforms to be too stupid to be a treat!"

"Hey!"

"The moose aren't their normal, stupid forms. They're enhanced via twisted, admirable, neural experimentation and cybernetic augmentations," Zim explained. "I was the first to weaponize the Earth moose, but to think they could reach this level of power..."

Zim was stroking his chin in deep thought, a sadistic smile crawled onto his face.

"...So anyway," Purple began, "about letting us go."

"Huh, wha-oh, right. I tied you up. First, what happened to the other cities?"

"We concentrated our forces in four other cities. They were destroyed."

"By the moose?!"

"No, we blew them up."

"Ah, the Irken last resort."

"CAN YOU JUST LET US GO ALREADY!" Red shouted, "PLEASE, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF DEALING WITH YOU ZIM! EVERY CRAZY, STUPID THING THAT'S HAPPENED IN MY LIFE HAS SOMEHOW HEAVILY INVOLVED YOU! JUST LEAVE US ALONE!"

"Red, calm down!" Purple said trying to ease his friend, "I'm, uh, sorry about that. He's been really stressed out these past few cycles. All the sacrifices we've had to make...those poor donuts..."

"...Fine. Gaz, hand me the Dimension Box!" Red and Purple watched as Zim's pale comrade took out a small box and threw it at Zim who caught it clumsily. The Irken pulled out a handle of a laser-blade from it and activated it, glowing green in his hands.

"Great!" Purple and Red were aided up by Daj, "That blade seems a bit big, don't-hey wait...Red! Look! Zim isn't taller than us at all! We revoked his title for nothing!"

Red's left eye began twitching, "...That is the last thing I want to hear right now, Purple. Just cut us loose already, Zim."

Red and Purple held out their arms. Zim had a small smirk on his face as he sliced with the blade.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Purple toppled over as he screamed in pain. Shock and fear took over Red's expression. The blade had cut Purple about a foot below his torso, revealing part of the cybernetics that were used on them to become the Tallests as well as what the insides of an Irken's legs look like.

"Zim, what are you doing?!" Red shouted at the Irken.

"How can I become the Almighty Tallest Zim if I'm not the tallest?" Zim replied.

"Bu-But I thought you liked us!"

"I think I did too, but it's strange. My undying desire to serve you two has been dying over the course of my journey to the point where my mighty ambitions outweigh the now feeble, positive feelings I had for you."

"But we told you the Irken empire is finished! There's no one left who'd even able to follow you, even the Control Brains were destroyed!"

"If that's true then I guess I'll just kill you."

"I-uh...What if I-ARRRHHHHHHHHH!" Zim had cut down Red in the same spot he cut Purple, making the two the same height once again. The former Tallests were sprawled on the ground, trying desperately to stop the blood flow from their legs with their still bound hands.

"Now as your current Tallest, you shall now serve me, Zim! Haahahahaha!"

"Drone, you just cut off half their legs, they're not going to be useful," Daj interjected.

"Have you been getting dumber since we got to your home planet?" Gaz remarked.

Zim stopped laughing, "Shut up! I'll just have to simply dispose of them now that they can no longer be of use!"

The sudden decision to kill Red and Purple made the two turn their attention back to Zim instead of their bleeding legs.

"Wait! Zim, you can't kill us!" Red pleaded.

"And why shouldn't Zim shove this blade through your scientifically enhanced bodies?"

"Because-Because, look over there!" Purple blurted out.

"What?! Where?!" There was a collective face palm from Zim's comrades as the Irken turned around and frantically searched for a false threat. "Are there moose?! Are they invisible?! INVISIBLE MOOSE?!"

Another fist hit Zim in the back of the head, causing him to tumble forward. He got back up to face his attacker.

"You idiot," Gaz said to Zim, "You're just being tricked."

"WHAT?!" Zim moved towards the former Tallests, "How dare you fool your Tallest! Such insolence has earned you extremely painful-"

"Zim!"

"Why must you interrupt me now, Gaz?!"

"That voice came from your wrist," she replied. Zim brought his wrist device close to his face. He was receiving an emergency transmission, it was from the Dibship. Zim pressed a couple of buttons and a holographic screen showing Tel appeared in front of him.

"Zim! I finally got through! Why did you make the emergency transmission a twenty button combination?! That's stu-AHHHHH!" Tel shook on the screen as a loud bang was heard on his side.

"What's going on! Why must you interrupt my execution of my former leaders?!"

"AHHH-Crisis! There's a-AAAHHHHHH!" The connection was being peppered with static, irritating Zim.

"Tell Zim already, cyber-monk-" Zim was cut off when Tel's side of the hologram went black.

Everyone froze up. The land Zim and the others stood one became overlapped in a giant shadow as the source flew over their heads. The following crash sent a shockwave that knocked them all to their knees. The group stared at the crater caused by the crash, it had leveled most of the organic plant life around them. Their eyes shifted to the huge sprawled out body of the Dibship.

A familiar roar teared through the sky. It was just like on Vort, only now, the roar was louder. Much louder. The gargantuan wall next to them was shaking. Each vibration accompanied by a loud noise, like someone pounding on the other side. A limb reached over the top of the wall, clasping the other side allowing for the other limb to follow it. The massive creature rolled itself over, landing on all fours. Craters appeared on each of the massive trunk-like limbs that had completely flattened the small buildings it had landed on.

After the impact only the sound of static from Zim's communicator could be heard. A whisper from Tel made it through the transmission.

"...moose."


	33. Final DOOM: Monster

A new chapter? Out so (comparatively) soon? I didn't break my word? Maybe I can finish this story.

Disclaimer: Do not copy Dib's actions.

* * *

The Employer stood at the wreckage of his once glorious mothership. The crater was on the outer rim of the city, far from the rampaging robot that Zim had released upon him, there wasn't much the robot could destroy here anyway. The boiling rage he felt had subsided into silent anger. Off in the distance, he could barely make out small figures falling through the sky, most likely the Irken that was causing him the most trouble. Zim was just a parasite to him, a bug that had constantly annoyed him whenever it would show its stupid face, but even parasites could destroy mighty beasts if left unchecked. That was why the Employer had always watched Zim, why he reprimanded Tak for not properly finishing the job when the parasite needed to be exterminated. He observed the Irken for years, from before the Employer had even "woken up".

"Employer, I finished the diagnostics of the wreckage," Tak said as she logged the data into a holofile. She was, unfortunately, the smartest minion he had recruited on this conquest, but this universe had set a low bar on intelligence. He was ninety-percent sure he had awoken in the Stupid Dimension, where beings had brain cells in the single digits. Next to her was Mimi, her robotic servant, dragging moose corpses from the wreckage.

"What about the portal?" He asked in a calm voice, masking his inner fury.

"It's functional given a few repairs and resets."

"Then we'll wait here for Zim."

"But, sir, how are you so sure Zim will even show up here?"

"The bug is very prideful and very stubborn. I have cut his lifespan, and you had nearly killed him, he'll want his vengeance."

"Alright, should I set up any traps or fortifications?"

"Only enough to separate Zim from the others. Do what you want with them, but I will squish Zim between my fingers."

"Very well, but what about the giant robot. What if it comes?"

"How many of my moose warriors have survived?"

"I've received transmissions from the survivors from the other cities, but it would take half an Irken cycle for them to get here. As for the ones on the mothership," Tak glanced at the pile of bodies Mimi had brought, "They're either dead or fatally wounded."

"All the moose are dead?"

"Well, uh, there's still the experimental one, which survived and is almost completely healed, but-"

"Bring all the bodies to its cell and release it."

"But we can't even control-"

"RELEASE IT!" The anger had finally broke through. "It will feast on their bodies and crush that inferior bug's machinery!"

"We haven't even tested the Cannibal System with that many bod-" The Employer grasped Tak's head in his palm, slowly applying pressure to her head in his cold, metal fingers. Mimi attempted to aid its master, but only found itself under the Employer's foot.

"Do not go against me!" Tak felt like the Employer was about to create five holes in the her skull, and she knew the Employer would not hesitate to relieve her from duty.

"...yes, sir."

* * *

The moose was potentially the most powerful being in the universe. The Employer had learned about their potential in the Nightmare Realm. There were small differences between the normal moose and the Nightmare moose. Nightmare moose were more aggressive, intelligent, and powerful, but that was nothing augmentations couldn't fix. Fusing the moose-brains with more "intelligent" species, bone restructuring, synthetic bio-metal epidermal surgery, mass muscle regeneration, topped off with mass cloning and the Employer's deadly army was complete. Agile, strong, and focused, the Employer had brought the future of the moose to the present.

There was one detail about Nightmare moose that solidified its status as one of the moose powerful beings in the Nightmare universe. During the Mass Starve of Nightmare Earth the moose discovered a new way to sustain themselves: cannibalization. The consumption of the flesh led to moose nutrients being absorbed into moose cells, creating horrible mutated super moose. The Employer harnessed this power, created bio-metal armor that would grow with the moose, and weaponized them.

The Dibship was made specifically to combat the Employer's giant moose warriors. It's suppose to be bigger, stronger, and faster than any moose. The ship's fighter mode is three times the size of the giant moose that attacked them on Vort. It was suppose to dwarf any giant moose and use its massive size to trigger the moose's instinctual fear. The moose Zim stared at was bigger.

The metal armor had fused into the moose's body, patches of long, brown hair bled between the cracks. The antlers were pointed and looked sharp enough to eviscerate anything. A set of serrated teeth filled its maw with saliva and foam leaking between the gaps.

"I-Is that really a moose?" Dib asked weakly.

"Does it matter?" Daj replied, "It's giant and can kill us. Should we shoot at it?"

"Would your blaster even hurt that thing?" Kor asked.

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to try."

"No, it would definitely hurt when the moose shrugs off your laser and focuses on us," Gaz retorted.

"My Tallest, what do we do?" Skoodge asked his leader.

Zim and the others still sat on the ground. The moose was motionless but breathed heavily. Slowly Zim pulled himself up and grabbed Gir by the legs and who had been flipped upside-down by the force of the moose's roar.

"It might not have noticed us. We should slowly sneak away." For once, everyone followed Zim's orders without saying a single word. Quietly, they all stood up and backed away. As Zim turned around, a loud, high-pitched voice suddenly erupted next to him.

"HI MOOSE!" Gir had gotten his first look at the giant, hoofed beast. Everyone froze and looked at the tiny robot with terror in their faces. The moose had noticed. It lowered its head to level itself with Zim and Gir, Zim felt each inhale and exhale of the beast. In an act of desperation, Zim threw Gir at the moose, the robot harmlessly bounced on the moose's snout. His Irken master ran away frantically with his arms in the air and shouting.

"RUN! RUN FOR YOUR PUNY LIVES!"

Everyone scattered as the moose arched its head back and let out a thunderous roar. It leaped up, causing more craters and small quakes upon landing, collapsing the small infrastructure around the group. If they tried to take cover behind something, there was a good chance of it collapsing on them. The moose was mindlessly rampaging, but despite what they hoped, it still had some intelligence, at least enough to find a target and focus on it. The moose focused on a boy wearing a black trench coat with a blue shirt.

Dib had his back to a building as the moose approached him. He activated the blue laser-sword built into his hand despite knowing it would be useless to attempt a close-quarters attack. He couldn't believe the size of this moose. Its leg was easily five stories if not taller. The moose lifted its leg and brought it crashing down, collapsing half of the building. Dib panicked. He climbed the rubble in hopes of finding some escape on the other side of the building. All he did was trap himself. He now stood on a broken roof, twenty feet high with a gap too large to jump between him and the next building. Dib was getting sick of having his life flash before his eyes.

As the moose was about to crush Dib, a small orb of energy blew up in its face. Daj had fired his Giant Fraction Blaster from behind some rubble the moose had caused earlier. He stood next to Gaz as he raised a fist in triumph.

"Yes, I got him!" The Darvon yelled.

"And all you did was piss it off!" Gaz yelled back.

"Yeah, that tends to happen when something lives through me shooting at it."

It also accomplished getting the moose's attention. The two quickly turned to run as the moose began to lumber towards them. Terror was all over their face and if she didn't believe they were about to get squished any minute, Gaz would've thrown Daj at the beast.

Dib was very thankful that Daj was stupid enough to fire at the giant moose, but now the moose had targeted his sister.

_Crap, crap, crap! _Dib didn't know what to do, his mind was working instinct, stupid instinct, as he did something dumber than what Daj did. He jumped on the moose, more specifically, he was holding onto loose hair on its leg while his sword was wedged into the moose. Daj and Gaz were considerably far away when the shot was fired, but it was like watching a slow countdown towards the death of his sister. His mind came up with another stupid idea, but it was the only thing he could think of that would save Gaz and Daj. If he did this though, then he couldn't complain about being called crazy ever again.

Dib climbed up until he was about halfway up the moose's leg. He pulled his sword out and slashed into the limb, created a long, deep gash. He repeated this action until it was about six feet long, red blood poured from the wound. The moose didn't seem to notice this relatively small injury. Dib took a last look as his sister, the distance between them grew shorter. He held his breath and hoped this wouldn't be as bad as he thought it would be. He jumped into the gash.

Even if this thing was mutated, it was still an Earth creature, which he had some basic knowledge about. On Earth, there are parasitic creatures that would cripple large animals from the inside. He learned that in high school biology. Earth mammals are made of bones, muscles, tendons, etc. He learned that in grade school. He essentially made a hole towards the knee of the moose, a hole filled with blood, moose hair, and chunks of flesh he had to slice out. As he went deeper, he could feel the muscles of the moose compress upon him, but he found his targets, white tendons and red muscles in the joint. He began hacking away, hoping that Gaz hadn't also found herself inside the moose.

He sword severed the last bit that held a tendon together watched as the bones in the joint slide into a position he knew wasn't right. He heard the moose cry in pain and felt it falling over as he began wriggling himself out. He had to be quick and hope that he wouldn't get scabbed into the moose, that would be a horrible way to die. He found light, the wet blood on his body allowed him to slide out, forgetting that he was two to three stories high. He started falling, but found relief in knowing that at least this was a more dignified way to die than being a moose scab.

Dib collided with something soft in midair and felt himself being carried down. He wiped some of the blood off his glasses to see who had caught him. It was Kor, who had used her boots to leap up and catch him. She looked at the bloodied human in her arms and back up at the bleeding gash of the fallen moose.

"Were you-were you inside the moose?" She asked incredulously.

"Yeah," Dib replied.

"You know you're-"

"I know, crazy, right?"

"I was going to say a freak, but crazy works fine."

Kor continued to carry Dib away from the moose and eventually found her way to Zim and the others. They had regrouped around a tall mound of rubble well away from the moose. Zim sat there with Skoodge while reaching for tools stored inside Gir's head to work on his wrist device. Daj was with Kry while Gaz stood off to the side and was the first to greet Dib.

"I'm not even going to ask what you did, Dib," Gaz said after taking one look at her brother.

"It's not a pleasant story. Also, I need to vomit," Dib turned away from the group and commenced to project bile.

"I take it the moose falling was your doing, Dib-worm," Zim asked.

"...uh...yeah. I'll, uh, tell you about it later."

"Well, maybe you aren't completely useless after all. Now that the moose has fallen, now is our chance to finish it off."

"Let's attack now!" Daj said eagerly, "Its paralyzed, it'll be easy!"

"With what, lizard-stink? That ineffective blaster of yours? We need time to prepare weapons that would do actual damage to that thing."

"Then I take it you have a plan?" Gaz asked.

"Of course I do."

* * *

"Cyber-monkey! CYBER-MONKEY! MONKEY!" Zim was furiously screaming at the communicator as if it was powered by screams. Zim's wrist projected a hologram that flickered before Tel finally appeared on the screen.

"-nications back on. Fuel tanks filled. Commencing body sync-ah, Zim! What's going on? Has the moose found us yet?! Wait, where are you?" Tel was quickly pressing keys on a holographic screen in front of him as fellow Heboadians were running in the background. On Zim's side, he stood next to Dib, Gaz, Kor, and Gir, all standing on the shoulders of a fallen Dibship. The giant mech was sitting with the back leaning against a giant tree-like plant but with several long, purple vines instead of branches and leaves.

"You stupid cyber-monkey! I just fixed the communications relay from the outside-"

"Actually, I fixed the communications relay," Kor interjected in a weak voice.

"-and it took you this long to answer!" Zim continued without acknowledging Kor.

"I had to deal with my people running around and panicking when things went offline since they think it's protocol flap your arms like an idiot according to the 'research material'," Tel said, "Your ship A.I. reciting all his Doom haiku didn't help."

"Zim has no care for your trivial matters! Just activate protocol 39X8VGZ!"

"Uh, what?"

"Just type 39X8VGZ on the screen! Can't you memorize a simple code?"

"Fine, fine...uh, it says there's a jamming error."

"What is this, a printer?" Dib said.

"Shut up, Dib-slime! Your humor is pitiful! Monkey, standby until I contact you again." Zim turned the screen off when he got another alert. It was only an audio communication. "What do you want lizard-stink?"

"How much longer do you need-AHHHH!" The sound of buildings collapsing, blaster fire, and moose roars could be heard in Daj's background. "It's kind of hard for me and Kry to out-maneuver a giant monster on foot!"

"Why can't you be a good minion? I don't hear any complaints from Skoodge!"

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" The scream came from an object that flew into the vines above them. A small Irken fell out of the foliage into Zim's hand.

"Skoodge, do you have any grievances about distracting the moose?"

"Ugh, no...my...Tallest." Skoodge spoke weakly.

"Good, then continue to meet my expectations!" Zim threw the Irken back where he came from.

"Thank you, Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir!"

"See, lizard-stink."

"I'm not your mindless-" Zim cut off the connection to Daj.

He pulled out his Dimension Box and placed the tools he used to fix the communications in the infinite space. He pulled out a bag with two straps on it and tossed it to Gaz. Next were a laser sword and two cables that was looped at one end.

"Gaz, take the squishy one and continue on as planned. Tinkerer, give Gaz your gloves and boots," Zim commanded. Kor was hunched over with an arm over her stomach, but she was able to unstrap her boots and gloves to give to Gaz.

"How long do you need?" Gaz said.

"Thirty minutes."

"Fine," Gaz pulled out a stopwatch that fit around her neck and placed her boots in. Then she put Kor's stuff on. "Gloves a bit tight, boots kind of loose but I'll manage, a bit slimy though."

"Deal with it," Kor said. "Now be careful, ugh, with the power setting. Those things output a lot of fo-OOOOOOOOOO."

Gaz had scooped up Kor and leaped off the Dibship.

Zim placed the laser sword to his side and looped the cable around his waste. "Dib-worm, we're going fix the jamming error. There's an area behind the Dibship that we just have to cut open. This cable has a magnet on one end than will allow me to repel down the Dibship."

"Alright," Dib activated his laser-sword-hand, "Give me my cable."

"What cable?"

"I need one too, Zim, I can't fly!"

"I don't have one for you."

"I saw you pull out a second one."

"That's for Gir." Dib glanced down to see the robot getting the second cable tangled in itself. Dib shot a look of malice at Zim. "Fine, you can share with Gir. I've never seen anyone whine about possibly getting their bones broken as much as you."

Zim began repelling down behind the Dibship. Dib rolled his eyes before grabbing Gir and following his Irken ally.

* * *

Gaz and Kor approached the area where Daj, Kry, and Skoodge were distracting the moose. Skoodge was gliding around on his glider and firing with two blasters while Daj rode Kry around on the ground, firing from his G.F.B. Neither did any real damage, but it drew its attention. The two were able to confine the moose to this area, away from the Dibship, which was the only chance they had to combat this thing.

Gaz spotted the area on the leg where Dib had cut a tendon. He relayed the story while Zim was fixing the Dibship. She didn't know how he could've thought of such a thing. While it didn't killed the moose, it did cripple it slightly, the moose would limp and seemed off balanced at times, making the job of distracting the beast easier. Still, Daj and Kry was having a harder and harder time to move around with each collapsed building making the terrain uneven, and Skoodge was running out of tall places to glide off of. Gaz was sent to relieve some of the pressure.

Gaz and Kor crept around the moose, staying far enough away to observe it without being noticed. Gaz pulled out the watch, it's been eight minutes. If Daj, Kry, and Skoodge could keep distracting the moose for about fifteen more minutes Gaz would pull the moose closer to the intercept point. They only lasted for two more minutes. The moose swiveled its antlers to swat Skoodge away. The moose overstepped Daj and Kry, sending debris flying and burying the two Darvons. Gaz had to act now.

"Kor, reach into the bag and pull out the small blaster." Gaz had Kor over one shoulder and had put on the bag Zim gave her like a backpack. Kor reached in with her hands and gave Gaz what she asked for.

"What are you going to do with that?" Kor asked. Gaz inserted what looked like a dart into the blaster.

"Piss the moose off."

"What?!" Gaz had the blaster on ready and started leaping at the moose. Once close enough she aimed at the spot Dib had cut earlier and fired. Nothing happened. Gaz turned away and started running in the opposite direction as the gash on the moose's leg suddenly exploded.

"Kor, be my eyes."

"The moose is angry. The moose is turning its head. It saw us. It's moving towards. Please don't stop running, I don't want to get eaten. Overall, I say you accomplished your mission too well. Great job."

"Is now really the time to be sarcastic?"

"I do it to cope with my fear of pain."

"It's getting annoying."

"Gee, it's just now getting annoying?"

"Are you being extra sarcastic with me?"

"That's because the moose is getting closer."

"WHAT?!" Gaz quickly glanced behind her and spotted the moose's jaw opening behind her. "AAAHHHHHHH!"

Gaz leaped to the side, causing the moose to crunch a two story building.

"You suck as a lookout," Gaz said as she pulled herself up.

"Yeah, I agree," Kor replied. Gaz looked back at the moose. It spit out the rubble from the building. She prepared to start leaping again but her legs were getting tired. The amount of force the boots exerted would apply pressure back on her legs with each step. She wouldn't last much longer, but she was getting closer.

"I'm increasing the power on your boots."

"You can't. Your body can't absorb the force from the boots' higher settings. If your legs don't give out, they'll end up broken."

"I'd rather not get eaten by a moose." Gaz grabbed Kor and turned up the dial. She leaped and immediately a sharp pain shot into her legs, but she kept going. She zoomed past the moose, making sure it saw her. The giant creature swallowed the remaining rubble in its maul and commenced chasing after its human target.

"The moose is still limping, we should be fine as long as we keep this pace up."

"All right."

"Move left! Right! Right!" Gaz did as Kor instructed as the moose's hooves crushed the areas next to them, each step getting closer and closer to their real target. "Gaz, we can't slow down now!"

"I...haven't been..."

"Then why was it able to-Oh Fef. Th-The moose. It isn't limping! The stupid thing's healing! If that wound closes, the plan won't work, Gaz!...Gaz?" Kor was worried Gaz might have collapsed for a moment, but they were still moving and Gaz was still breathing, heavily. "Come on, just-just a little longer...I think..."

Gaz couldn't feel her legs. She wanted to pull out the watch around he neck to see how much longer Zim needed but it was taking all her focus to just take steps, but she was not going to get killed by a moose. She ran full force. Kor relayed to her how the distance between them and the moose was getting larger, she made sure to not stop. She couldn't remember if they were in the intercept point, far from it, or even past it, she was just trying to run. There was a two story building in front of her. She prepped her legs to leap over it. They didn't listen to her. "...crap."

Gaz tripped. One of her legs collided into the other. Kor and she was sent flying into a window and landed in the second story of the building. They both bounced around, crashing into the abandoned furniture that was scattered around the room. Gaz didn't know what was wrong with her; broken bones, head trauma, ruptured organs, she didn't feel anything. She wanted to get up. She needed to get up. She couldn't get up.

"Gaz! Crap, you're bleeding! How much time do we have left?" Kor was screaming at her from the other side of the room. Gaz couldn't reply. She looked at Kor, her clothes were ripped and she was on her knees leaning against the floor. She had one hand trying to stop the liquids leaking from her stomach and the other being used as support. Weakly, she grabbed the watch from her neck and faced it towards Kor without looking at it herself. "Alright, we got to get out of here. Give me back my boots and I'll-"

Gaz felt her heart sink. Kor had reached out to Gaz with one arm, now it was just a single arm on the floor. Behind it was a set of giant, serrated teeth where the rest of the body now resided. The jaw pulled away, collapsing half the building and taking the front wall with it. The light of Irk's sun flooded into the room, giving Gaz a good look at the moose towering above it.

The watch had dropped when the moose took a chunk out of the building. Gaz reached for it, hoping that thirty minutes was up. She'd never say it but she wanted Zim to come dashing to her rescue. She grabbed the strap of the watch and turned it towards her. Ten minutes left.

She muttered a swear, if she had had enough strength to yell it she would have. There was a ringing in her ears, but it was drowned out when the moose bellowed. She saw the moose opening its jaw. After that her vision blurred, probably her blood seeping into her eyes. Then it went black.

Everything was cold.


	34. Final DOOM: Giants

"Gaz! Gaz!"

Why did people always have to scream her name? Was it Kor again? No, she was eaten.

"Wake up!"

The voice sounded stupid. Dib? No, it had the same level of annoyance but she didn't feel annoyed with it. Actually it made her feel warmer, but who else would shout her name so desperately?

"Damn it human, wake up!"

"...Zim?"

* * *

"There! Target sighted!"

"I can see that, Zim. A giant moose is hard to miss." Tel was sprinting in the Dibship, with the giant mech copying his movements. Zim was outside the Dibship, using a cable to hang onto the shoulder like a rock climber, along with Dib and Gir who shared one cable. Zim had rushed to finish repairs the moment Skoodge's and Daj's communicators returned nothing but static. Gaz didn't answer hers either, but it wasn't static yet. There was nothing at the intercept point, but the thunderous sounds of the moose led them in the right direction. Zim gave Tel one order when they saw the monster:

"Charge it."

The moose was just standing there. When it turned its head towards the sound of the Dibship's large steps, it was met with a tackle. The size combined with the speed of the Dibship was strong enough to send the moose flying into the city wall of Irk.

"Now! Activate protocol 39X8VGY!" Zim shouted into his wrist device.

"Don't you mean 39X8VG_**Z**_?" Tel replied.

"Hurry up!" Tel turned his head to a side monitor and activated a virtual keyboard and entered in the code. The scythe-like appendage on top of the Dibship's head split down the middle, once open it shot an object into the sky. Automatic protocols took over as the Dibship raised one arm to catch it.

"A giant metal pole?" Tel said, "That's your secret weapon against the moose?"

"It's a Doom Staff! Now use it, the moose is rising!" Tel aimed his focus at the moose who was getting back up. Tel charged it, wielding the pole like a sword with both hands. Tel felt the pains of electricity flow through him when the moose suddenly rammed him with its head. If it wasn't for the magnets Zim used to connect him, Dib, and Gir to the ship, they would've flown off.

"Zim, don't you think staying on the shoulder of a giant robot as it fights a giant monster a bad idea?" Dib said.

"Fine, Dib-worm, I'll drop you on the ground to get squished by a moose hoof while I stay safely attached with this cable." The moose rushed at them but the Dibship used the pole to parry the moose and flip it over.

"Wouldn't I have a greater chance of avoiding the moose on the ground if it's attacking the Dibship?"

"No!"

"Any reas-"

"I've traced her!"

"Traced? Did you find-"

"Cyber-monkey, head towards these coordinates!"

A virtual map showing the location Zim had marked was shown to Tel. "But what about the moo-"

"Go now!"

The Dibship began moving to where they had initially tackled the moose. Dib was wondering why they didn't attack the moose while it was down, and why Zim kept interrupting him. "Hey, why are you being impatie-"

"I found Gaz."

"WHAT?! Oh god, is she okay? I knew it was a bad ideaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh-"

Zim activated something on his wrist causing the cables to suddenly repel. Zim was able to control his pace but Dib just fell, and probably would've gotten something broken if Gir didn't regain control and landed cleanly. Zim landed soon after.

"Monkey, keep the moose away from this area at all costs."

"Got it-AAHH!" The Dibship was suddenly rammed by the moose, shocking Tel. He worked through the pain enough to grab the moose as he was charging and used the pole to continuously whack it. The moose pulled free and bit into the Dibship in the shoulder. It was a good thing Zim, Dib, and Gir got off. As the moose's teeth pierced the outer layer of the Dibship, electricity flowed into the beast's mouth causing it to pull back before it caused heavy damage. Tel pushed the moose off and using the pole like a bat to whack the moose in the chin. The moose stood back on its hind legs and brought two hooves down in an attempt to stomp the Dibship. Tel held the pole horizontally with both hands to block it, but the moose was strong enough to eventually force the Dibship to bend back.

"Gaz! Gaz! Oh god, G-OW!" Zim slapped Dib in the face to keep him from going hysterical. They were in a half collapsed room, Zim had locked onto the communicator he gave Gaz, what he found was exactly what he expected. Gaz was on the ground, a head wound with a flow of dark, red blood running down her pale face. Kor was nowhere to be found, only a single arm that Zim was very careful to avoid remained.

"Gir, medical supplies." The robot opened its head and an assortment of medical supplies popped out; stethoscopes, bandages, popsicle sticks, scalpels, rubbing alcohol, real alcohol, bed pan, nurse outfit, several needles. He then turned to Dib, "Listen, Dib-worm, I have no idea how to remedy your primitive human biological functions when they're damaged. You would be the only one who would know how to deal with your sister so the last thing I need is for you to go into one of your manic ramblings!"

Dib didn't like it when Zim was his voice of reason, it meant something was really wrong with him. Zim was right that he was the only one who could help his sister, he had some medical knowledge from survival guides he read when he would go on his two-three day excursions into the woods to search for cryptids. He grabbed the bandages and rubbing alcohol from Gir's pile of supplied and moved towards his sister. First he poured water and rubbing alcohol on his hand in an attempt to sterilize them before realizing there were gloves. He checked her pulse, letting out a sigh of relief once he felt it. He found the source of the bleeding, a nasty gash underneath her bangs. He poured the water, washing away the blood and wiping it up with a sponge, then he applied the alcohol, though he didn't know how effective it would be against alien bacteria, and then bandaged the wound gently around her head. He took off his jacket and used it as a pillow for Gaz.

"There, that's the best I can do for now. we really need an actual medic on the team," Dib said as he washed his sister's blood from his hands, "I'm not trying to complain but I'm wondering, why did you sound so worried about Gaz?"

"Gaz is the most useful being among you sacks of liquid, second only to Skoodge and that's only because of his fierce allegiance to me," Zim continued to inspect the room, "She's also the only one who could possibly handle Tak, other than me of course, increasing her value."

"Wow, you make it sound like you _really_ care about her."

"Care?! Zim does not hold petty, feeble, unnecessary attachment for living things like your pathetic, weak, pret-uh, petty sister. No, no, no no, I am a superior being who refuses to look towards any of you expecting interpersonal relations!"

"That was sarcasm, Zim."

"I do not need you chasms of sar, Dib-slime!"

"...What-"

"Tel, how goes the situation with the moose?!" Zim suddenly turned to his wrist device to communicate with the pilot of the giant robot that was protecting them right now.

"AAAARRRRRRRRGGGHHHH!" Tel screamed back through the open channel.

"Monkey! Why is it taking you so long to handle the moose? The Dibship Mark III was built for this!"

The moose had pinned the Dibship and was stomping on its torso with both hooves in a repeating motion. The protective plating of the Dibship kept it from breaking, but the lack of cracks only motivated the moose to keep stomping until it did. Inside the Dibship, Tel felt the constant pain of electricity with only half seconds to breathe between shocks.

"Sir, what are your orders?" Plun, the second in command Heboadian on board, awaited Tel's orders.

"AAARRRGGHH-ugh, ha- AAARRRGGHH-ugh, ha- AAARRRGGHH-" Tel screamed in agony.

"It's okay, sir, I'm patient." Tel really shouldn't be surprised by how dense his people can be. Another Heboadian ran up to Plun and handed him a holofile. "Sir, missiles have been restocked."

_Finally_, Tel thought. He forced his arm to move despite the shock and punch a button on one of his holo-monitors. A circle opened on the Dibship's torso and missiles shot out at the moose. The giant monster roars in pain but it only stunned the beast, however, it gave Tel enough time to unpin himself from the moose. He grabbed the pole that fell and used it to continuously beat the moose. The moose was pummeled with a flurry of strikes, crushing the metal plating and giving no time for the moose to retaliate. Tel raised his mechanical arm, activating the flamethrower. He released an ocean of flames onto the moose, letting the waves of fire consume the beast until his fuel tank had completely emptied. The flames eventually subsided until only the frame of the giant moose was left, still blanketed in a burning blaze. Tel let out a sigh of relief.

Plun was handed another holofile and spoke to his leader, "Sir, I've received the bio-scan data. The moose isn't dead."

"...Boad dammit...AAARRRRRHHHH!" Tel was suddenly met with shocking pain. The moose had rammed him, this time the antlers had pierced the Dibship's outer armor. The Dibship was sent flying and slammed into the Irken wall. Once the pain stopped, Tel looked at the monitor to see the state of his opponent. The moose looked like it swam in lava, every open patch of fur and flesh the moose had was now completely black and charred, the metal armor plating was half-melted, the liquid metal mixing into the open wounds the moose had sustained from the beating.

"Monkey! Why is the moose still alive?!" Zim's voice rang through Tel's ears from the communicator.

"What the Boad can I do? I did everything!" Tel replied.

"You stupid cyborg, what do you think I gave you the stick for?!"

"The stick?" Tel's eyes turned to the pole and he knew what Zim meant. The moose began charging at him. This time, Tel charge also, the pole held with both hands and aimed forward. Seconds before the collision, Tel drove the pole forward, pushing it through the moose's body as if it were butter. The pole curved downward, stabbing the ground as well. The moose had its limbs laid out, it showed seconds of motion before becoming motionless. The Heboadian never knew why the Irken was so insistent on making him stab things with blunt instruments when a blade would work better, but at least it did work.

"...I...I think I did it..." Tel relayed to Zim. The exhausted Heboadian fell back into a sitting position, the Dibship following it's movements.

"Finally! Use your processing cells for once!" Zim yelled back. Tel just took the insult as Zim's way of saying good job. "Now hurr-"

"Wait...no..." Tel didn't want to believe it. It was faint, but the thought of it terrified Tel. He hoped that it was just fatigue, he was hearing things. The second growl was louder. "...No, no, no, no, NO!"

"Monkey! MONKEY! What's going on?!"

"...it's alive..." The moose began stirring, slowly and with a pole in the middle of its chest. At the moment it was pinned to the ground by it, but it wouldn't hold the moose forever. Tel was frozen, he had thrown everything at it, he couldn't continue the fight. He tried to move but his body wouldn't listen. "Dibship, switch to A.I. Control!"

"...szzznk-HUA-SH-ate-szznk-veon-ksshh..." Nothing happened, and judging by the response the A.I. Must be severely busted from the fight.

"It's over. I...I can't do anything. It won't stay dead."

_Damn it_, Zim thought. He could tell from Tel's face that he couldn't fight anymore even if forced. Kor was the initial plan and the Dibship was meant to be the back-up, now both had failed. He couldn't believe anything that had the healing abilities this thing had could be so destructive. The moose was healing, like "...a Fefian."

Zim looked back at the dismembered arm of his own Fefian. If she had been crushed she should recovered by now, yet Kor's body was still nowhere to be found, there wasn't even a trail of her liquids if she had wandered off. The building was also peculiar, even though it was half gone, there was no debris from the building near it and the shape of the missing pieces were oddly shaped.

"Zim, what are we going to do?" Dib asked, "We're going to be stranded without the Dibship and possibly die to that moose!"

"Yay vacation!" Gir said, "I'll suitcase the packs and bring the dead human."

"She's not dead yet!"

"Awww."

Zim ignored the two and opened the channel to Tel. "Monkey, bio-scan that moose, multiply the sensitivity by ten, and give me the data now!"

Tel only nodded. Tel entered the sequence for the bio-scan and sent the data to Zim, never taking his eyes off the struggling moose. Once Zim got the data on his wrist device, it confirmed what he suspected. The bio-scan read two beings, but the second one was barely noticeable even on high sensitivity thanks to the huge size of the moose. Zim homed in on the faint trace of the second location of the being, it was in the throat.

"According to plan!" Zim yelled, startling Dib. Quickly, he changed screens and entered in a code. It would cause the wrist device to emit a frequency that would act as a trigger. There was an explosion.

Tel saw everything. The explosion was small, but there were multiple booms. At first the Heboadian thought it came from somewhere else, until he looked at the moose, it stopped moving. It seemed nothing had changed visually, Tel mustered up the strength to walk closer to it. Once it got closer, the vibrations of its heavy steps revealed the damage; the moose's head fell off. It was a messy split in the neck, with fresh blood pouring out like a waterfall.

"Cyber Monkey!" Zim yelled into Tel's communicator, causing him, and the robot, to jump. "Don't just stand there! Mash that moose until it's nothing but a waffle!"

"Don't forget the syrup!" Gir said into communicator.

"Yes! The body must drown in its own bloody syrup!"

Tel had seen this thing survive being burned alive and having a pole shoved through its chest, he only had one word to reply with, "Understood."

Zim and Dib could hear the strikes Tel delivered to the beast from the distance. Dib turned around to ask Zim what to do next when a bag was thrown right at him. It was the same one Zim had given Gaz earlier.

"Gir, take the Dib-worm to the moose," Zim instructed.

"What? Why would I have to go there? Besides, I should stay with G-oof!" Dib felt pressure on his chest. Gir had lassoed him with the cable.

"Let's go Cow-Man!" Gir jumped off, dragging a screaming Dib with him.

Zim turned to Gaz. She was still unconscious but he could hear her faintly breathing. _I have to wake her up._

Zim had to pause himself for a bit after thinking that, a bit confused as to why he would say that. Then he remembered that Gaz would heavily increase the chances of success for him. He sat by her side and did what came naturally to him.

"Hey! Wake up!" Yelling didn't seem to help. Zim was stumped. Medical disciplines was never something he had to do, it was always better to just replace the expendable being or dump them in a vat of healing liquids, he couldn't do either. Gaz was strangely unique to him, unfortunately she was also a fleshy and replacing parts was more complicated. He wished she was just a robot so he can just pull out the faulty wires and gears and put in new ones.

Zim tried to think what he could do next. He tried to recall all the methods he saw the Earthling use to revive one of their own on the gunk Gir would watch on their TV monitor; electric shocks, chest punching, closing their face holes, mouth hole on mouth hole contact. He couldn't do any of those. He remembered a year ago when he accidentally tripped and had grabbed onto Gaz's face, he got a punch in return. He didn't have anything that could emit an electric shock on him. The chest had gotten him beaten three-fourths to death in the past.

Zim had an idea. He grabbed his laser-sword and faced the handle towards Gaz, repeatedly jabbing her in the arm with it.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!"

Zim was expecting her to suddenly object to his shouts like usual, but nothing happened. He was getting frustrated and desperate, he probably should have left this to her filthy brother. He reverted back to what his instincts to him to do.

"Gaz! Gaz! Wake up!" Zim had moved his head until it was only a few inches away from Gaz's face. Yelling up close apparently wasn't working, that's when instinct took over. Zim reeled his hand back and yelled at her as he set the hand in motion.

"Damn it human, wake up!"

"...Zim?"

Zim had stupid instincts, and he knew that if he had actually slapped Gaz his probably wouldn't be able to feel his hand, or face, for the next day. Fortunately, he was able to stop his hand from applying any force, unfortunately it was still touching her face.

The first sight Gaz saw waking up was Zim, face within five inches of her and a hand on her cheek like in a cheap romance flick. Still, she blushed and quickly pushed Zim off. Her heart was racing for a bit, and her head felt dizzy and had a headache. She felt the bandages around her forehead and realized that she had been knocked out for who knows how long, but when she looked around the room she realized that she was still in the same building.

Zim held up his arms to shield him, believing the push was a sign of attack. Once he realized she wasn't going to follow it up, he returned back to the sitting position he had when he was trying to wake Gaz up. He was glad to have her awake and surprised he was only greeted with a light, well light for Gaz, shove.

"So, uh, it's good you're awake," Zim said awkwardly.

"Yeah...thanks. What happened to the moose?" Gaz asked as she laid back down.

"Dead. Hopefully."

"Hopefully?"

"That moose should've been dead twice before this time! The Dibship is mashing it right now."

"Glad to hear it. So did anyone die?"

"The Dibship and the Cyber-monkey will be fine. I'm trying to trace Skoodge and the lizards through their communicators like I did for you, and your brother was the one who tended to your wounds." Gaz just now noticed it was Dib's jacket she was resting on, she also remembered that he was inside a moose not too long ago wearing that thing. She pushed it away.

Gaz had just noticed the severed arm in the room, the same one she saw right before she lost consciousness. "What about Kor?"

"The Tinkerer should be fine."

"She was eaten by the moose."

"I know. She'll come back."

Gaz knew Zim was right. Kor is virtually immortal, she would've gotten out, one end or another. Thinking of the closest thing she had to a friend made her recall the conversation they had on Vort. She figured now was the best time to ask Zim since they were alone and nothing too life-threatening was happening at the moment.

"Hey Zim, what are you planning on doing after all of this?"

Zim was hesitant to answer, he didn't think Gaz would ever ponder about his interests. He shrugged it off and figured this was just the human way of passing time, "As the tallest of my people, I, Zim, will take my rightful place as the leader of Irk!"

"Isn't your planet pretty much a craphole now, and aren't all the Irkens dead by now?"

"Eh, I'll manage. Once I control everything I'll go about conquering the rest of the universe."

_Only Zim would say that so casually_, Gaz thought. She propped herself up and sat against a wall so that she wouldn't have to look upwards to talk to Zim. "So after this, will we never see you again?"

"If you mean you're planning on returning to your pathetic rock, then yes."

"So you wouldn't miss anyone?"

"...Of course not! You're all nothing but expendable meat-shields to me."

"Is that really how you feel?"

"Feel? What do Zim feels have to do with anything? Zim feels nothing but victory!"

"Come on Zim, you can't be that oblivious. Can't you be a little honest, at least with...me?" Gaz was hesitant to say that last part. She was a hypocrite, she knew that, trying to pry into Zim's feelings while trying to hide her own, but Zim didn't reject the proposal immediately meaning he had to be considering it. Gaz knew Zim had some positive feelings in there somewhere, even she had them, much to her disdain. Sometimes she wished her feelings were nothing but a void to be filled with contempt, spite, and gaming like she was when Zim first landed on Earth, but other times she thought the feelings were "nice".

"...Fine, Gaz. I'm not as idiotic as you claim I am, certainly not to the level of the Dib-filth! I am a gajillion billion times smarter than that-"

"Zim." Gaz didn't need Zim to start giving himself a chain of compliments right now.

"...Yes, I know that my plans aren't always 'successful'."

"There, was that so hard?"

"Yes, never do that to Zim again!"

"Too bad, I'm going to ask you a harder question, and answer honestly."

"Zim hates honesty."

"How do you really feel about everyone?"

"They're all meat-"

"I said _honestly_."

"Zim is speaking truthfully!"

"No you're not. While I do believe the whole hyper-arrogance thing you do is real, I don't think you're as dumb as you act, mostly. I think you're aware that inside you have some emotion, _human_ emotion. Call it a side-effect from staying on Earth or whatever, but you have them. You've saved Dib before, all your plans never involve sacrificing someone, except Kor, even if it would make the task easier, and you even found me when I was dying."

"That's just because you all have some value that I can exploit!"

"If we were nothing but tools to you then you wouldn't have to keep repeating it! I think you're just creating a shell to hide whatever sliver of good feelings you have and you strengthen that shell by continuously expressing yourself, loudly."

"And how would you know that?"

"Because...because that's what I do." Gaz spoke softly. It wasn't often Zim would hear Gaz speak in such a passive voice. It was a rare occurrence, almost as rare as Gaz being wrong.

"...I don't want you to die."

"What?"

"Any of you, everyone that I gathered, I don't want them to die, it would be...detrimental." Gaz could tell Zim wasn't being a hundred percent honest with her, but it was a start. "Well, I wouldn't care that much about the lizards and metal-monkeys, the Fefian is immortal, Skoodge and Gir are the only two actually loyal to me, and if Dib died then you would kill me, but you've all proven yourselves to be useful in one way or another."

Gaz noticed he left out one person when he spoke. "So what do you...think about...me?"

"You're the strongest human I've ever seen and probably the only human I can hold in high regard. You're the most useful out of everyone."

Gaz didn't like the way Zim made her sound like a utensil. "Is that it?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"It's...peculiar. I've grown to fear you from all those Earth years together, yet I don't despise you at times. It's...it's like..."

"You care?" Both of them were reminded of their time locked up in the Vortian prison where Gaz had used that word and created extremely awkward tension between the two.

"W-what?! Preposterous! No! No! Why are you even asking Zim these questions?"

"Huh?"

"What about you?! Why must Zim be the only one to get his deep, bottled up soft feelies poked at!?"

_Uh oh_, Gaz thought, she didn't expect Zim to suddenly redirect the question at her. For someone who usually would never shut up about himself, he was quick to do it now.

"Well, Gaz? Why are you so interested in Zim's psychological innards?!"

"Because..." Gaz didn't want to say anything. She wanted to just hit Zim and end the conversation like that, but her body was still weak and she couldn't think of an excuse to dodge the question with. She shouldn't have started this conversation while she still had a headache, it was a poor decision. She decided not to make anymore decision while she still experienced head trauma from now on.

"Gah, I don't get why all of this matters anyway!" Gaz was surprised, did Zim dodge the question for her, or did he just get impatient. "You should all just become my slaves!"

"That's not an option." Gaz replied calmly.

"Indentured servitude is always an option!"

"Zim, we have lives."

"Pathetic lives!"

"Shut up." Gaz threw Dib's jacket at Zim, but she was half-smiling when she said that.

"Ugh, this jacket is disgustingly filthy!" Zim had unfolding the piece of clothing and held it away from him like it would give him a disease.

Gaz giggled, well on the inside, faintly, very faintly. She would kill everyone if she actually giggled out loud. Still, it was nice, this brief moment of playfulness she and Zim shared especially after a conversation like that. She wouldn't mind more moments just like this, but she knew this would never happen again.

* * *

When Zim told Tel to make that moose into a waffle, Tel really did turn the moose into a waffle. Tel had pounded the moose flat, leaving dents similar to the impressions of a waffle, and this waffle was drowned in "syrup". Dib was disgusted when he saw this. The cable that Gir had dragged Dib with had loosened enough for Dib to get out, right before Gir had jumped into a pool of "syrup".

"SYYYYRRUUUUPPP! I loves it!" Gir shouted as he swam about. Dib really hoped that Gir knew the difference between syrup and blood since he's eaten Gir's waffles before when he infiltrated Zim's house once, and the syrup was homemade.

The bag Zim gave him was strapped onto Dib's bag. When he looked inside all he found was a weird blaster and a set of Gaz's clothes. Dib was really curious as to how Zim got a hold of Gaz's clothes.

Dib carefully stepped around the pools of blood even though it was all over him earlier. The Dibship was lying flat on its back, apparently Tel was napping after such an intense fight. Dib didn't know why Zim even told him to come here in the first place, he began to think it was just to watch over Gir while he played around. A hand shot out and pulled Dib into the blood.

Dib was shocked and disgusted. First he thought Gir had pulled him in but saw that the robot was five pools away from him. A pillar of blood began rising. Dib brought his arms up to defend himself and panicked, _Oh man, this is like one of my horror-scifi movies where a new monster would be born within the corpse of a giant monster to feast on my entrails for nourishment! I'm going to be eaten by a baby moose spawn!_

"This is disgusting." The voice was female, one Dib recognized. He lowered his guard and saw that the pillar was forming a more humanoid shape.

"Kor?" Dib was almost certain it was his Fefian friend.

"I swear, if you make one joke about how we both ended up inside a moose I'm going to shove you right back into its neck-hole." By now Kor had regrown her arms and the blood was sliding off of her, an advantage of being partially slime based. As more of her skin began showing Dib realized that she didn't have any clothes on and covered his eyes, though he didn't really know if he had to be embarrassed or not.

"Uh here, this is probably for you." Dib held out the bag Zim gave him. Kor took it and climbed out of the pool. Once she was done putting Gaz's clothes on she pulled Dib out. The clothes fit Kor, it wasn't any different than the usual black clothing she usually wore, the only thing missing were her boots and gloves which were still with Gaz.

"I hate these things. All I was suppose to do was get inside the stupid cut, drop off the bombs, get out, and blow up its leg. Instead, I get eaten and clung for my life in its throat."

"Does stomach acid kill you or something?"

"It would be very hard to heal from it."

"At least it all worked out in the end, I don't think blowing it's leg up would even cripple it for long. You should have seen how crazy that thing was in the fight!"

"I felt it. So how did you guys figure out I was inside that moose, did Gaz-wait, Gaz, is she alright?"

"She's alive, so she should be fine. Hopefully."

"Hopefully?"

"I had to be the one to treat her, but it's not like my medical skills amount to much. You sounded pretty concerned."

"Of course, she's my friend. She probably doesn't see it that way though."

"I think that's the first time I've heard any of us say the word 'friend'. We're a sad bunch of people aren't we?"

"Well, maybe you are." Dib looked notably saddened by this comment. "Come on, you know I'm joking. You and Daj got pretty close over time, and I consider you a friend at least."

"Woah, really?!" Dib brightened up a bit.

"Yeah...this is the first time you've had friends isn't it?"

"What?! N-No, of course I've had friends!" Dib was a bit too defensive with that reply but Kor decided to drop the conversation before it got too emotional. They walked around the edges of the moose until they ran into Gir.

"My head's blinking for you!" The antennae on Gir's head was blinking just as the robot said. Dib didn't know what to do but touched it hoping it would do something. He was right as Zim's voice emitted from Gir.

"Dib-worm, did you find the Tinkerer yet?" Zim said.

"Yeah. Also, I'm pretty sure the moose won't be healing back anytime soon," Dib replied.

"Thanks for the extra set of clothes by the way," Kor said.

"Master! How did you get inside my head?" Gir said.

"Gir, we've talked about this. I'm just using a communicator to talk through you."

Gir opened his chest panel and began reaching inside himself. "Don't worry master, I'll get you out of there!"

"Anyway, Dib-scum, I found Skoodge's and the lizard's communicators so head back. Also make sure Gir doesn't damage himself too much. I already told the cyber-monkey to come back and get us through the wall." The communication ended and Dib and Kor began to walk back. Dib grabbed Gir so he doesn't go wandering off again but he seemed preoccupied with searching for Zim in his chest cavity.

"Master, I got you! Oh, that was a bunny."

* * *

When Dib reached the building Zim was waiting in, he was overjoyed to see Gaz standing. He immediately ran and hugged his sister and was immediately kicked in both his shins. He would've been more worried if she didn't do that to him though. Kor and Gaz both expressed to each other that is was good to see them still moving and Gaz returned Kor's boots and gloves.

They found Skoodge tangled in vines, unable to reach his communicator or anything else. He was joyful to see his leader alive and coming to his rescue. Both Daj and Kry had half of their body pinned under large chunks of rubble. Daj was happy for once to see the Irken show up in front of him. All three were injured though. Skoodge was bandaged like a mummy by Gir. Kry had to wear a brace of his neck and head. Daj injured the lower half of his body and had to be placed on a stretcher. Afterwords, Zim sent everyone into the Dibship where they prepared to break down the wall into Irk's capitol.

Most of them didn't expect this level of devastation. They had a better chance of finding someone alive than a building that was intact. Fires still burned heavily throughout the city and corpses were littered everywhere. Zim's memories of Irk's capitol was of a highly advance, purple utopia. Now it was just a purple hell with streaks of red.

"Congratulations on living so far, Zim." A loud booming voice swept over the city. It was the Employer.

"It's that stupid shady guy!" Zim yelled. "Does he know where we are?"

"Honestly, I can't tell if you lived or not but it would just be too convenient if you died to that moose. However only you would attempt to continue this conquest."

"Foolish...thingy! I will make jelly out of your blood...or...whatever liquids flow through your body!"

"I'll get to el point. You want to kill me. Yo quiero matarte. I also have a holofile."

"Holofile? What's on-"

"It contains all the data of what I did to your PAK, and how you can fix it."

"What?!"

"Zim, I don't think he can actually hear you," Dib pointed out. "He's probably just talking through a really big loudspeaker or something."

"Then how is he responding to my comebacks!"

"He's probably just guessing," Gaz said, "Your comebacks tend to be predictable."

"My speech is not predictable! That dumb shadow thingy certainly wouldn't be smart enough to guess what I say!"

"Call me dumb as much as you want, but you'll always be una idiota grande compared to me." The Employer replied.

"See?" Gaz said. Zim decided to just stay quiet.

"I'm a kind, tyrannical overlord, so I'm giving you dos choices. Uno, come to me and we'll fight for this holofile. I'll be in my ship, waiting in the secondary command room. O dos, you run and live the rest of your short life until I visit whatever corner of the universe you're in and step on you. If you take the second choice, then I'll just tell you that you'd be nothing but a scared, pequeña almohada. You'd be a scared, little pillow. That's right, Zim, I just called you a pillow." The Employer's voice stopped.

"HOW DARE HE CALL ME A PILLOW! Zim does not have feathery softness on the inside! There are only organs of victory!" Zim shouted.

"He's obviously baiting you." Kor said.

"But he is a fool! For him to even think that I'd run from the likes of him!"

"Of course." No one really expected anything else.

"I vote we blow up the Employer with the Dibship, it would save us some time," Daj said from his stretcher.

"For once your sense of violence had lead to a good idea, lizard-stink," Zim turned to the Dibship's manual controls but was stopped by Gaz.

"Wait, if you just blow up the ship he's in then you blow up the holofile," She pointed out.

"Arrgh, lizard-stink, I take back my praise, you're still stupid." Daj didn't seem to care.

"That is if the holofile is even real."

"If it isn't then I will extract his brains or whatever storage thingy he uses and probe it with pointy needles!"

"We can't just go running in there though," Dib said, "You don't have a concrete plan yet and some of us aren't at 100 percent." Dib glanced at Gaz when he said then.

Zim pondered about his options. Certainly the numbers and fire power were in his favor but injured minions do hurt his chances. When he gave his order, everyone was shocked. No one expected Zim to ever give them this type of command.

"We'll wait."


	35. Final DOOM: Tallest Tower

The Tallest Tower, Irk's greatest monument to its leaders and the residence of the Tallest Irken. It was Zim's first time standing on the top floor of the building and now it was rightfully his, but it was also now just an abandoned building filled with dead guards and a crater in the center of the room, which was his fault.

Everyone was using it as a temporary base of operations. Zim ordered Tel and the Heboadians to work on repairing the Dibship and forced everyone else to evacuate. They all found different rooms to do their own things. Gaz had been forced to rest. Dib spent some time using the water they had to wash the blood off himself and his clothes. Kor and Daj simply readied their equipment for a fight. Gir worked on "nursing" Skoodge, who was trying to express how he didn't need the robot's help but his voice was muffled by bandages. They were with Zim who was contemplating strategies to fight the Employer in the main room.

"What are you doing?"

Zim had been working without his other companions for about an hour and was startled by the sudden presence. He found Gaz leaning against a wall behind him, still with bandages around her head. "Gaz? Didn't your stupid brother tie you up and told you to rest?"

"Like Dib knows how to tie an effective knot," Gaz revealed a roll of rope in her hands. "Besides, I'm not that injured. My cut sealed up and all I have are bruises, Dib's just too overprotective."

"So you decided to visit me instead?"

"N-no, all the weapons are here. You just happened to to be here also and I was curious."

Zim just shrugged his shoulders. "I'm trying get these monitors back online. I can set them to view various points of this city, we'll see anyone approaching the tower."

Zim went back to fixing the wiring behind the six monitors. Gaz went to dig through the piles of weapons and equipment that Zim had cleared from the Dibship. "Do you really think you can beat him?"

"Of course! I am Zim! I will hold his feeble head in my fist! Who are we talking about?"

"The Employer. The guy who you want revenge against."

"Oh, right. Yes! I hate him! I will destroy him!"

"Zim, you're not-"

"Gaz!" Dib suddenly barged into the room, his hair still wet from washing himself but his clothes still had dried splotches of blood.

"What do you want, Dib?"

"What are you doing here? You're suppose to rest! And I thought I tied you up?"

"You suck at knots. How'd you even know I was here anyway?"

"Kor told me."

Dib opened the rest of the door to reveal Kor standing in the door frame.

"Hey," Kor innocently raised her hand to greet Gaz.

"Kor? How would you even know I was here?" Gaz asked.

"Intuition." Kor glanced over at Zim who was ignoring the trio.

"You're really making me regret ever talking to you. Anyway, I'm fine, Dib, I don't need you babysitting me."

"I can't help it, you're my little sister, I'm suppose to take care of you when you get hurt, and I've never even seen you bleed before!"

"I've bled before, I'm still human, Dib."

"Like when?"

"Like...that...one time...I think."

"You need to stop jumping into these dangerous situations!"

"_I_ need to stop jumping into dangerous situations? What the hell are you even talking about?!"

"I don't know! I just feel the need to scream at you!"

"You're an idiot!"

"Woah, can we stop the sibling argument going on," Kor got between the two and pushed them away from each other, but only made it more intense.

"Shut up, Kor! I'm tired of you meddling with me!"

"That's because I'd rather not see you sit around twiddling your fingers about your 'feelings'."

"I'd rather twiddle!"

"What the hell are you two talking about?!" Dib yelled.

"Shut up, Dib!"

"Stop being oblivious, Dib!" The Fefian added.

"Then tell me things! I must know things!" Dib shouted.

"Stay out of it!" Gaz yelled back at her brother.

"Why won't you tell me anything?!"

"Just tell him already!" Kor insisted.

"Tell me!"

"Hey, drone, where's my gun? Oh, Dib, wanna train?" Daj walked casually into the room with Kry, not realizing what he just pulled himself into.

"Stop pressuring me!"

"Stop thinking about your gun all the time, Daj!" Kor yelled.

"You're all stupid!" Gaz yelled towards everyone. Not appreciating their insults, Daj joined in the argument. Insults and yells were thrown at one being to another, the subject of their words becoming more contrived as it intensified. It was annoying and it was irking one of the other beings in the room. Kor was beamed with a mummified Irken, it bounced off and ricochet onto Dib, both fell to the floor.

"My piggeh!" Gir screamed. Daj and Gaz turned towards the attacker but Daj was met with a robot to the face while Gaz had to catch a wrench in mid-air. "Yay, I got my piggy back!"

"SILENCE!" Zim couldn't stand being the observer in the annoying argument. "Why must you loudly emit your pointless, pathetic problems from your mouth holes?! If any of you continue to yell I will toss you filth off the top of this tower!"

Kor was the first to recover and remark, "I would survive-"

"Or atomize! Painfully!" Kor shut herself up. They looked at each other and realized that Zim was right, which made the situation feel even more messed up to them since Zim had to play mediator.

Kor spoke first, "Guys, we're all probably overly stressed. Most of the stuff we were saying was crap anyway. Daj, lay off the trigger more, Dib, get more aware, and Gaz, I'm sorry that I'm always butting in, I'll do it less."

"That's the longest string of sentences you pulled together without being sarcastic," Gaz said.

"We can continue arguing if you want."

"No, I'm...sorry...that I got as angry as I did." Gaz had a hard time making eye contact while saying that.

"Look, you grew internally."

"I thought you _didn't_ want to argue."

"Gaz, I'm just worried about you," Dib said.

"You're still an idiot, but I know it's because you care, just care a little less."

"That's gonna be hard for me to do."

"Alright, whatever, we're all happy comrades again, yay," Daj said dryly, "Dib, do you want to train or not?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Good, we'll be sparring. I prefer to vent physically anyway."

"Um, can I withdraw from training?"

"No."

Daj then turned towards Zim. "Are the repairs done on my G.F.B. yet?"

"In the pile with the rest of your smelly belongings!" Zim pointed to the stack of blasters and rifles to the side of the room. Daj ignored the insult, not wanting to get into another argument.

The four arguers apologized to the best to their abilities and were about to set off on their tasks, but Gaz had something she had to do first, "Hey Zim."

"What huma-AHH!" Zim quickly ducked, avoiding the wrench that flew over his head. "Are you crazy, Gaz?!"

"I'm just returning your wrench."

"Damn you, human! Why must violence always be you first-..." Zim stopped mid sentence. Something else caught his attention.

"Zim?" Gaz knew Zim going speechless always signaled something bad. The Irken was looking at the monitors and began working on its control console. The others also knew silence meant bad and moved towards the monitors. Zim was flipping through different views, despite them all being of different locations and cities they all showed similar things; corpses, wreckage, fires. As more images went by they began noticing something. First they were only glimpses, then there were clearer shots, finally it was a series of images revealing the oncoming doom: a moose army.

"Zim, wasn't the rest of the moose army in the other cities? And didn't we learn that the other cities were blown up?!" Dib went into a panic again.

"These must be survivors, meaning the Tallests weren't thorough," Zim began shifting through more images and zoomed in on some. "They aren't completely healed either, you can see major injuries on most of them."

"So we can take them," Daj said.

"I estimate about a hundred, maybe fifty more at most."

"So we can take them." Everyone ignored Daj's delusion.

"How long until they reach us?" Gaz asked.

"These images are from several different outposts that lead to this city, the first wave will probably be here in four hours," Zim deduced.

"So we have four hours to beat the Employer and get off this planet." Dib said.

"The Dibship won't be repaired by then."

"Well that sucks!"

"I'm not abandoning Irk anyway! I am the Tallest! This is my planet to rule!"

"But everyone's dead," Kor said.

"Not everyone! I still have Skoodge! He'll be my first adviser!" Skoodge let out a muffle of appreciation.

"Zim just give us the plan already!" Gaz said, "We can't avoid the moose army, and you want to destroy the Employer."

"And the holofile with the PAK data and the dimensional portal technology!"

"Right, so how are we going to do this?"

"Easy, we attack the Employer at his ship!"

"You make it sound so simple."

"I have a couple of tricks up my nostrils."

"Sleeves."

"Gezundenite"

"...What?"

"Alright Zim, you have a vague plan, we're used to it by now," Kor said, "Just tell us when we're going to attack."

"We shall strike in three hours!"

Dib was shocked, "What?! That only gives us an hour to beat Tak and the Employer before fighting off the moose!"

"Hahaha, stupid, stupid, very stupid, scummy Dib-monkey. That hour will be used to prepare for the moose fight, then we will fight both at the same time!"

"WHAT?!" Dib, Gaz, and Kor said collectively.

"As the ruler of Irk, I'm going to have to get rid of the pests eventually. If I fight both I would save time. Besides, I need the hours to prepare."

"...The levels of your arrogance and stupidity amaze me," Kor expressed.

"How can the eight of us fight off a hundred moose when we barely handled five on Vort!?" Dib yelled towards Zim.

"Dib-worm, once again you reveal your brain deficiency. Only three of us will be on the front lines fighting the moose."

"..."

"The moose will probably use the hole the Dibship made to enter the city. The Employer's ship is on the opposite end. It'll be the two lizards under the command of Skoodge who'll hold them off." Skoodge was so appreciative of his assignment as field commander that his arm broke through his bandages to salute Zim.

"Hold on, I barely tolerate being ordered around by you, and now you want me to be a lackey to the midget drone?!" Daj protested.

"You get to maim and kill as much as you want without repercussions, I thought the assignment would suit you."

"...fine." The temptation of having several targets to shoot at overpowered the Darvon's pride.

"The rest of us will infiltrate the ship again to confront the Employer and Tak."

"Zim, you know and I know that Daj, Kry, and Skoodge can't possibly fight them off for an hour, and you're smart enough to know that if they fail then we'll be swarmed."

Zim thought about Dib's words and took a moment to contemplate, "...I have a plan. A plan I am very reluctant to use and even disgusts me to my core. However, despite my heavy desire to send this plan into a blazing inferno, I will implement it!"

"...You still haven't told us anything!"

"Dib, stop," Kor said, "That's probably the best we'll get out of him. It's not like his vague plans has gotten us killed."

"That was sarcasm, right?"

"You know _so_ well."

"Uh, so yes?"

"Enough with the talking now!" Zim shouted, "Spend the remainder of the time preparing and arming yourselves with the weapons in that pile over there! Except you Dib-worm, no guns or blasters for you!"

"Hey, I-...actually, that's probably for the best."

"I'm getting first dibs on the weapons," Gaz said.

"Fine," Daj was slightly annoyed, "I got time to kill with Dib anyway."

"Kor, I need a favor from you."

"Does it involve pain?" The Fefian asked.

"A little." Kor let out a sigh and followed Gaz out the room. Daj dragged a hesitant Dib away while Kry following behind. Skoodge was slowly breaking free of his bonds while Gir was still playing with him. Zim plugged his wrist device into the command console of the monitors and began working again. He pulled out the Dimension Box Crax gave him. The Box was the key to his fight against the Employer.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Next chapter before the end of the week.


	36. Final DOOM: The Employer

Zim had done a great job of destroying the Employer's mothership. Only half of it had any sort of structure left. Now looking like half an antler slicking out of the ground, the other half were just chunks of scrap metal scattered around the crater. This is where Zim's Armada would fight against the moose army. Everyone had spent the time digging trenches and building barricades as Zim watched with extreme, painstaking effort.

"Minions stop! Zim is exhausted!" The Irken sat down and happily gazed at the work he accomplished.

"You didn't even do anything," Daj remarked, still shoveling out the ground for a trench. The Darvon had equipped himself with several guns of various types and had placed them all over his body. It was overly excessive. Strapped onto his back was his signature Giant Fraction Blaster, modified with even more guns to add firepower. His lack of limbs still made it easy for him to move around without much trouble. Next to him was Kry, on all fours and pushing scrap metal to finish the barricade. Daj placed a harness with two shoulder Gatling turrets on his former guardian. The crocodile-like alien was also lightly armor so he wouldn't be slowed down too much.

"Of course I did stuff, lizard-stink, I designed everything!"

"It's so hard to design a semicircle around a ship," Kor said with her usual sarcastic tone. She only wore her regular clothing and her upgraded gloves and boots. Aside from that, the only real physical preparation for battle she made was a belt with various tools and small weapons.

"See, even the dumb Tinkerer understands Zim's hardships!"

"If only I could lessen your burden, my almighty Tallest," Skoodge's unfaltering loyalty still held despite being ordered to do most of the grunt work. The mini-Irken wore purple Irken armor, two blasters, and two laser-shortswords. Gir stood by Skoodge's side, holding rocks that didn't have anything to do with the barricade. Gir wore nothing.

"I'm ready to slaughter!" The robot yelled happily.

"In time, Gir," Zim responded. "With my lead, even you will get to experience the feeling of crushing a being between your claws and having their blood splatter on your eyes!"

"Yaaay!"

"I wonder why the Employer hasn't attacked us? We're setting up fortifications right in front of his ship, facing away from it!" Dib logically asked. The human only had some padding under his jacket, it was all that could fit him. Everyone also banned him from using long-range weapons, leaving him limited to pretty much his sword and some explosives he kept in a backpack.

"Obviously he is scared of my might!" Zim gloated while pointing a fist towards the ship, as if he was directly taunting the Employer.

"Or he thinks you're so pathetic that no matter what you do, you'll still die," Gaz said. She wore no armor, saying that it would only weigh her down. Instead she just carried a rifle and sword, along with a satchel of various tools like bandages and explosives. She was now wearing an old model of Kor's boots. She had asked Kor to give her a pair since she needed the extra mobility, however they weren't as powerful as Kor's and had to be used sparingly, otherwise they'd overheat. "Why did we build this big of a barricade anyway if there's only going to be three of us down here?"

"Because it's all a part of my plan!"

"You mean the one that you said disgusts you?"

"Unfortunately!"

"Whatever, how long do we have until we're attacked?"

"Approximately..."

* * *

"Come on, just let me shoot them!"

"¡No!"

"But they're right there! Just let me launch a rocket in their faces!"

"No, you might kill Zim!"

"That's the point!"

"Silencio, Tak!" The Employer was sitting in the portal room, patiently waiting for hours since he sent out that message. He salvaged the remains of his captain's chair from the wreckage and had brought it, as well as lighting the room so that he alone would remain in shadows. About an hour ago, Zim and his group had appeared outside their ship and began building piles of scrap metal. Tak hasn't kept her eyes off them since. "Zim has pushed me too far, I want him alive so I can crush his head between my claws and have his blood splash over my eyeballs!"

"Then let me kill the others!" The Employer's second-in-command was in full armor save for a helmet. Every weapon was built into the armor; lasers, swords, and even a newly added metal whip. As far as she knew, she was also the only Irken left with psychic implants, which made her the most powerful Irken alive.

"Do you have a precise, long-range weapon?"

"Well, no."

"And we don't carry any non-lethal ammo! If you accidentally kill Zim, then I would have to kill another Irken in his place, and I'm not referring to el short, cerdo-Irken. ¿Comprende?"

"You have a lot of pride, don't you?"

"And you don't?"

"...*sigh* I understand. How long do you think it'll be before the moose army arrives?"

* * *

"5 MINUTES?! THEY'RE GOING TO BE HERE IN FIVE MINUTES?!" Dib slipped into panic mode again. It was happening a lot lately. Everyone else felt panicked as well, but Dib was usually the first and loudest one to express it.

"Weren't you keeping track of the time, Zim?" Kor asked.

"Of course I was, that's how I knew we only have five minutes left," Zim was keeping his eyes on his wrist device, where he had kept a timer and was also typing away on a virtual keyboard. A cry from a moose was heard in the distance. "Maybe we have less than five minutes. Cyber-monkey, how long until repairs are done?"

Tel was on the screen of Zim's wrist, "We're working as fast as we can. We're at the last stages of refueling and resetting the power."

"Time, monkey! I need times!"

"Fifteen minutes at best."

Zim cut the transmission and returned to inputting codes into his wrist device. "We need to hold out for ten minutes."

"I thought Tel said fifteen," Daj said.

"My plan will activate in ten. Skoodge, climb the highest point of the barricade and watch for the moose army, shout on sight. Everyone else find a spot behind cover to shoot." Zim pulled out a rifle from his Dimension Box while everyone else readied either a blaster or rifle.

"Uh, can I get a gun?" Dib asked as he motioned with his empty hands.

"It would be a waste of resources."

"Come on, even Gir has one!" Dib pointed to the robot waving a blaster around like a maraca.

Reluctantly, Zim pulled out another rifle from the box and tossed it to Dib who clumsily caught it. "Maybe even you'll get lucky with your shots. Minions, run-"

"MOOSE!" Skoodge shouted at the top of his squeedly-spooch.

"That was quick, everybody aim and fire!" They all found a spot to shoot from. As soon as they positioned themselves, they began to unleash a torrent of lasers.

This caught the first wave of moose off-guard as the majority of them was instantly mowed down or injured. The rest quickly found cover before returning fire. The next waves of moose followed their lead and began hiding as well. Most of them were still injured from their other sieges and the lack of resources they were given since then, but they all knew that they had enough wit and strength to take down eight beings.

The moose grouped themselves off and were tearing out large chunks of metal from the debris around them. Slowly, they advanced towards the barricade by using the metal as shields. Once the shield was broken or melted, they instantly had another piece ready to shield their group while the remaining moose returned fire.

Zim was confident they could hold out, the suppressing power between all of them was strong enough to keep the moose at a snail's pace, all except for one area. "Dammit, Dib-slime, learn to aim your shots already!"

Dib couldn't understand what he was doing wrong. The gun basics he was taught was aim, hold steady, fire, and yet he was missing every shot. The moose took advantage of this weak spot in the suppression fire to push forward. Dib tried desperately to keep the gun steady as he fired, but his aim worsened the closer the moose got, and at best his shots would graze the metal shielding. The next phase of the moose's plan didn't help.

Once close enough, the group of moose approaching Dib threw their shields and began sprinting, making their way towards the barricade. They scattered and used their agility to easily dodge Dib's shots.

"They're going to break in!" Skoodge yelled.

"Shoot them!" Zim commanded.

There were three moose, all injured in some capacity but not in a way that it impaired their movement. Zim, Daj, Skoodge, Gaz, and Kor all focused their fire in their direction. The moose were swift, taking non-fatal shots from the hail of lasers, but eventually the injuries piled on until they were crippled and unable to avoid the fatal blows. Then chaos ensued.

The other moose were able to notice the shift in focus away from them, and like their fallen comrades they removed their shields and scattered. It was a swarm of about three dozen moose running towards the barricade. Zim's group answered by firing shots in all directions, hoping that a shot would randomly hit something. There was no focus and each person's spread of lasers was almost as bad's as Dib's.

Daj got tired of missing his shots and threw his rifle in a fit of rage. In a stroke of luck the gun was able to knock a moose in the head and broke its skull. The Darvon readied his six-feet long, Giant Fraction Blaster, charging it up until it fire a giant pillar of laser, tearing through the ground and a handful of moose, completely sending anything in it's path to oblivion.

Gaz, Kor, Zim, Skoodge, and Dib readied a set of grenades and each tossed two to three explosives over the barricade into the stampede of moose. A flurry of explosions and booms were heard, ending the sound of moose hooves trampling the ground. Until they leaped over the barricade.

Their efforts only dwindled the this wave of moose forces down to twenty. Zim looked at his wrist device and scowled when he noticed the time, "They're late."

"Breach! Everyone, prepare to fight! HOO-HAAAAAA!" Skoodge yelled at the top of his lungs as he leaped towards an unsuspecting moose with his two short-swords, stabbing it in both its heart and brain. Large, metal spikes jetted out from the top of the other moose's wrist as they all prepared for close-quarters combat.

"AAAHHHHHH! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAHHHHH!" Dib was fighting off two moose, who each only had one arm, with his single sword hand. Both moose attacked simultaneously but despite what Dib's screams might suggest, he was able to competently parry each strike and broke their offense. He slashed his sword twice and was still screaming out of panic and adrenaline even though he had chopped the remaining arm off both moose warriors.

Daj had mounted Kry and both went on a rampage taking down multiple moose. Some of the other moose decided to fight them using the Darvons' tactics and began mounting each other. Both sides fired at each other using their short range blasters while dodging using the agility of their mounts. However, Kry was more powerful than the already battle weary moose and easily out-maneuvered them, allowing Daj to using his laser sword to slice them in half.

Kor used her boots to quickly move around, leaping into the air and stomping down on moose like they were evil turtles. One of the moose caught Kor in mid-air by jumping after her and slamming her down onto the ground. The moose threw her around like the lightweight being she was before driving a spike straight through her chest. The Fefian screamed in pain but held onto the moose's arm with her gloves. She squeezed as she moved her hands upwards, crushing the moose's arm piece by piece until she reached the head. Unable to escape, she palmed the moose in the face and crushed the skull.

Gaz faced down three moose warriors, all with working arms and two arm spikes. She wielded a laser sword in one hand and a small blaster in the other. They all rushed her, underestimating the power of the weak-looking human who still wore the bandages of her last fight. One moose was sliced down the middle, one had its head blown off, the last one was nothing but chunks soon after.

Zim was facing a moose that, unlike most of the others, was completely healthy. At first he was able to hold it off with his rifle, using the body to block the strike the moose let out. However he was caught off guard when the moose kick him in the shin and proceeded to kick him in the stomach before moving to the head. The Irken fell back and narrowly dodged a spike aiming at his head. Gir tried to help his master by running towards the beast but was carelessly kicked into Zim's face. The moose tried to strike again but was countered when Zim grabbed Gir and knocked the moose in the head. The moose was dazed, giving Zim the opening he needed to put a hole in its chest with his rifle.

They fought their way back towards each other and grouped up. Despite doing well they all knew that there was only eight of them, and this was just the first set of moose.

"Has it been fifteen minutes yet?" Gaz yelled.

"It's been twenty-five!" Zim replied.

"Then when the hell is your plan going to happen? And isn't Tel suppose to be here by now?"

"I'll make sure to dump them all in a pit of molting plasma balls!" Zim ran towards cover behind a part of the barricade, "Lizard, protect me!"

"Huh-OW!" Daj was caught by surprised by a ramming moose as Zim slid behind the barricade.

Zim started up his wrist device and opened a transmission to Tel "Dammit you stupid monkey! You said fifteen-minutes!"

The cyborg was frantically running across the screen, apparently the Dibship's crew was in a state of chaos. "I said at best!"

"What happened!"

"The hydraulics in the left arm blew open. It's unable to move at the moment!"

"AAARRRRRRRGGHHH!"

"We're working as fast as we-" Zim cut off the transmission, incredibly frustrated.

"We have a problem." The voice caused Zim to jump. Gaz was suddenly sitting next to him.

"Gaz, what are you doing here?" Zim asked.

"Hiding, fight suddenly took a turn for the worse."

"What happened?"

"Giant...moose...approaching." Dib appeared next to Zim, out of breath and surprising him once again.

"Dib-worm?! And a giant moose?!" Zim climbed over the barricade to get a peek. There was indeed a giant moose heading towards them.

"It's also leading a bunch more moose over." This time it was Daj with Kry also crouching beside him.

"Don't tell me we all chose the same place to hide." Gaz said.

"There's only two real places left to hide," Kor said, sitting right next to Gaz, and pointing out the several destroyed barricades, "And the other place has the other crazy Irken hiding in it."

"You all ran from the enemy? How useless!" Zim shouted.

"I was thrown in here, sir," said Skoodge.

"All the moose in the first wave are either dead or immobile anyway," Gaz said.

"So we've regrouped then," Zim looked back and forth between the crew he assembled that now sat beside him. "Are we missing someone?"

Everyone looked at each other, believing that everyone was accounted for until they heard a child-like squeal coming from over the barricade. They all peeked over the barricade and confirmed their suspicions on who the missing being was.

"Gir!" Zim shouted. His robotic servant had wandered out in the open, ahead of the barricade, with a giant moose heading towards him. "Gir get back here!"

Gir turned around and wore the same oblivious smile he usually did as he stared at the heads of his comrades peeking over the barricade. "Your guys' heads are so tiny!"

The moose was getting closer. It wasn't as big as the one they faced earlier, thankfully. In fact it was half the size of the first one they faced on Vort, but it was easily strong enough to squish the SIR unit like an aluminum can, worrying Zim.

"Gir, no!" Zim was halfway over the barricade himself until he was held back by Gaz and Skoodge.

"Don't be stupid, Zim, you can't just rush out there!" Gaz said.

"The SIR unit isn't worth it!" Skoodge shouted.

Zim felt anxiety at the thought of seeing Gir get squished. He's repaired Gir enough times to know that becoming as flat as Gir's homemade waffles would make him unrepairable. Dozens of thoughts raced through his mind, but nothing came up that would help him save Gir. Running out there was too risky, he had no idea how to get lobsters, and by the time he thought to just try to shoot at the moose it had reached Gir.

Zim watched as the giant moose actually stop in front of Gir and raised its hoof to crush the robot. Gir just stood there with his arms raised. For a brief moment, Gir sparked, as if the fear of immediate death had registered in his processors. Gir muttered an expression of discontent as he stared wide-eyed into the hoof. Everyone else turned their heads away when they heard the sound of crushed metal.

When Zim opened his eyes he fell off the barricade and back into the trench. Looking down at Zim was his robotic servant, who had ran back to him and was now staring at him stupidly.

"Hi master!"

Zim actually felt a sense of joy, but didn't say anything immediately. Now he wondered what happened to the moose.

"What the hell is that?!" Dib shouted. Zim climbed back up and saw the giant moose's body was buried into the ground, his head crushed. On top of the head was a large, black, hexagonal pillar-like object and four feet in diameter and eight feet tall.

"There's writing on it!" Kor pointed to a set of yellow letters on the side of the pillar.

Gaz peeked a bit closer and squinted her eyes, "I think it says-"

"Oberox," Daj interrupted.

"Finally," Zim said as a smile crept onto his face.

Soon more pillars began to fall from the sky in front of them, some even squishing more moose as they landed.

"Skoodge, smokescreen!" Zim ordered. Skoodge brought out two orbs and tossed one to Zim. They gave the top hemisphere of the orb a twist before launching them into the array of pillars creating plumes of purple smoke to obscure the area, confusing the moose. The moose heard the doors of the pillars pop open, lasers and fists rained upon them immediately after. The firing stopped, making the area silent.

Zim and the others saw the silhouette of an army marching forward. The first being emerged from the smoke, holding a rifle and wearing full armor. He raised an arm and began to wave as he shouted, "Hi guys!"

"...Dwicky?" Dib said incredulously. Soon more men followed behind Dwicky, they were all rebels from Oberox.

"Man, you see that moose, Spoocti, its antlers almost crushed my suit!"

"Yeah, but at least we got those antlers to make a cool hat now!" Spoocti held up a pair of antlers, head still attached. Dwicky's army included his two Plookesian friends, as easygoing as ever. A stray laser flew towards them and knocked the antlers off of his robotic hand. "Woah, well I guess it is pretty stupid of us to turn our back towards the enemy!"

"We'll catch up later, Dib. I got to help these guys with some stress relieving-killing!" Dwicky said. The reinforcements turned back as another wave of moose rushed towards them, this time with more giant moose.

The Oberox rebel army left most of the others shocked, Dib was the first to turn to Zim, "Dwicky? He was the plan?"

"Yes, they will be providing back-up for the lizard-faces and Skoodge," Zim said, "We were just stalling until their pods got here."

"I get it, you used the Irken weapon transport system in the Armory to get them here."

"Indeed, Dib-worm. Considering how I helped them and the tall, Earth bean's liking of you, they were glad to be of service to me."

"Why didn't you want to use this plan earlier then, you usually don't care who you get to use to further your goals."

"...It meant the messenger I sent would come back."

"Who-"

"ZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMM! I've come back for you!" The voice answered Dib's question. A red-headed human ran towards them followed by a monkey in an astronaut suit. The energetic boy was waving his hand and smiling at the green alien.

"Shut up, Keef! Go back into the frenzy of moose warriors and don't come back until they're all dead!" Zim shouted at the inter-dimensional traveler.

"Sure thing! Ah, this feels like old times." Keef ran back into the fray, firing his rifle with expert precision at the moose warriors that he targeted.

"And here I thought you were just blasting him into space with flimsy reasoning," Kor said.

"I wish," Gaz added.

"And I will do it in time!" Zim said, "However, I had to put the thing to use and give the tall human coordinates to Irk."

"There were only thirty-something guys left after the raid," Dib pointed out, "Is that really enough to stop these moose?"

"Dwicky's resistance is made of strong beings, all of us combined would easily take down a hundred moose," Daj bragged. A member of Dwicky's resistance flew over their heads as a twenty-five foot tall moose was seen in the distance swatting more members away. "A giant moose might be a bit difficult though."

"There's still more to the plan," Zim said as he watched his wrist device. "He's almost ready."

The sound of turbo engines was heard by the beings around Zim. They looked towards the sky and saw the countermeasure to the giant moose land onto the battlefield. A giant, emotional robot piloted by a civilization of cyborg, alien monkeys.

"I am the reaper,

here to shove my metal stick

right in your asshole!" cried out the Dibship.

Tel appeared on Zim's wrist. "Zim, we finished the repairs. We had to take some shortcuts but it's function-"

"Dammit, monkey, stop with your interference in my wrist!" Zim interrupted. "Also, watch your back."

"Wha-AAAAAAAAAARRRHHHH!" The Dibship was attacked by three giant moose, all about a third of the size of the Dibship, but their numbers overpowered the giant mecha. They began pummeling the Dibship as it cried out in pain.

"There goes our anti-moose defense," Gaz said.

"Got any other plans, Zim?" Dib asked.

"The robot monkey and the weeping robot weren't part of the plan. They just had mediocre timing," Zim heard a ding from his wrist device and looked at it, smiling sinisterly, "This is my plan!"

A tremendous sound teared through the sky. A massive object headed towards the surface of Irk, leaving a streak of black smoke where it traveled. The giant construct landed, causing a small quake and strong wind pressure to knock every being off their feet. It stood in the fresh crater it made on the battlefield.

"Another giant robot!?" Dib yelled, "When did we have another giant robot?!"

"When I realized that building only one would be too logical." The voice came from Zim's wrist. On the screen was a scarred up Vortian wearing the same devices Tel wore in his giant robot.

"You took quite a while to get here, Crax," Zim said, annoyed at his old partner.

"Giant robots are an art, Zim," replied Crax, "You can't rush them."

Crax's robot shared the same shades of Purple that the Dibship had but with gray accents instead of black. The head was cube shaped as opposed to the Dibship's sphere. Two gray spikes bent at a ninety degree angle protruded from the top. It was a bit smaller than the Dibship due to rushing its construction, but it was still strong enough to handle the average, giant moose. Crax walked over to the Dibship and pulled off two moose, crushing their heads.

Skoodge turned to his leader, saluting while having with an expression of awe, "Sir, I cannot express enough gratitude over the war assets you have given me."

"What is an Invader without an armada?" Zim said to his fellow Irken. "Lizards, take Skoodge to the battlefield. Massacre as much as you desire."

Daj didn't have to be told twice. The Darvon hopped on Kry, grabbed Skoodge, who still maintained his saluting figure, and leaped from the barricade straight into the fray. He aimed a medium rifle in one hand while firing Kry's Gatling guns into the mess of moose bodies.

Now only Gaz, Dib, Kor, and Gir remained with Zim. They turned towards the fallen mothership, now a towering piece of wreckage. The Employer had said he was waiting in the secondary command room, which according to Zim's scan of the ship, it would be around thirty yards from the top. Considering the height of the tower despite being half the size of what it used to be and the fact that the ship was not meant to to be ascended vertically, it was going to be a long climb. Zim had a faster route.

"Tel, get the stupid robot over here and aim for these coordinates," Zim commanded through his communicator.

"I thought you weren't going to blow up the ship?" Gaz asked.

"I'm not."

* * *

The Employer was not happy. His inevitable conquest of this dimension had been stalled by a measly bug who happened to stumble his way through the galaxy. His genetically enhanced moose clones were now fighting for days straight without time to rest or heal, his warriors becoming more feral the longer they fought, making his efforts to teach tactics and strategy useless. He only had a robot and an Irken left, and only one of them was capable of speech. To make matters worse, he was uncomfortable. The orientation of the ship forced him to pile broken consoles and scrap into a pile for him to sit on, with only the cushion from his chair for comfort. It wasn't ideal. The only thing worse than that was the light coming in the room by a giant hole created by a giant robotic fist.

The fist was just a couple of feet in front of his face. It pulled back to bring in the palm of its other hand. Standing on top were five beings forming one of the most annoying groups in the universe. They stepped off the robotic hand as it pulled away, the main body returning to the battle it had left. The two sides stared at each other without saying a word. Zim had impeded the Employer's plan and destroyed his prized mothership. The Employer had exterminated Zim's race and shortened his life.

"I did it! I was able to find non-lethal paralyzer rounds on this-" A near five foot Irken clad in purple armor had walked into the room alongside a SIR unit while holding a box of ammo, only stopping once she noticed the other beings in the room. She dropped the box and gained her usual, pissed off composure, "So you survived the moose waves, Zim!"

Zim finally spoke after the period of silence, but never took his eyes off the Employer, "Like silly, deformed moose would defeat me."

"Well that was a foolish decision since now, you'll die slowly and horribly!"

Zim didn't reply, unusual for the Irken.. This was the first time he got a good look the Employer, and the being was still shrouded in shadows. The only light had come from the gaping hole in the structure that Zim had created, and it only revealed the Employer's legs. The legs were either mechanical or heavily armored, primarily purple with either a dull blue or silver coloring other parts of the appendage. The light also revealed the edge of a cape, purple on the inside and silver on the other side. Finally, he stood up and revealed a holofile to the others.

"This contains every piece of information about a PAK, with it you figure out exactly what I did, how to repair it, and even create a completely new PAK." The holofile was held between the Employer's metallic fingers.

"And I suppose I'm just going to have to trust you that it's all true?" Zim replied. Slowly he was getting a more detailed look at the Employer; the lower half of the being's body was revealed, Zim was almost certain the Employer was at least a cyborg since the upper half of the legs were angular and continued the color pattern of the shins.

"Unlike you, I'm not stupid and I realize my limits. I know that I'd lose a chance to kill you if you just hopped into your robot, and I really, really want to kill you in person."

"Ha! What a coincidence, I feel the same way. Except more!"

"Too bad you're undermanned."

"Your head fluids must be leaking, I clearly have the numbers advantage. I have three and a half peons with me versus your two! The half is Dib!" Dib was visibly offended.

"You see, Zim, you are mistak-HAH!" A metal pillar clawed at the end suddenly shot out towards Zim. Gaz reacted quickly and pushed Zim out of the way while Dib and Kor fell backwards to avoid the shot.

"Hey! Attacking mid-sentence?! Who does that?!"

"No one ever expects it, just like when my minions attack your blindsp-attack now!"

A large robotic claw lunged towards Zim. A red SIR unit had flown towards him, the claws barely missing and scratching his armor. The robot tumbled in midair and landed on its feet, quickly pivoting to attack again. This time Zim used Gir to block the attack. Zim's servant latched himself onto Mimi, hugging the other robot's face and causing it to flail around wildly.

"Gir! Activate boosters!" Zim shouted.

"You got it!" Gir replied. The bottom of Gir's feet opened up, letting out immense fumes of smoke. The following fire jettisoned the two robots out of the room but leaving everyone blindly by their fumes.

Zim got to his feet and drew a blaster, firing in the direction the Employer had been earlier. However, this revealed his location. A purple Irken appeared from the smoke, laser-sword in hand and rushing towards Zim. He would've been skewered had not a purple haired goth block the laser-sword with her own. The two female beings stared at the other, eyes holding nothing but disdain, intensifying the longer their swords remained locked.

Kor and Dib stayed near each other to avoid a sudden attack while activating their weapons. Dib saw the faint glow of swords clashing, barely recognizing Gaz's face. He rushed to aid his sister, Kor following, but as he approached the metal pillar that stood between the two, it moved. The pillar pulled back, but it was clutching onto the metal in the floor, tearing it like tissue paper. The metal had been ripped from under Dibs feet, causing him to fall into the hole. Kor attempt to grab him but only ended up falling into the depths herself. Their screams echoing as they fell.

"Dib?" Gaz glanced away, towards the sound of her brother's scream. The momentary distraction was enough for Tak to find and opening and kicked the human girl away.

"Tak! Remove the human!" The Employer commanded from the smoke.

"With pleasure!" The vicious Irken said with a grin. Tak ran at Gaz, tackling her into the newly created hole.

"Gaz!" Zim shouted. He frantically looked around, he was alone. The room was still obscured by Gir's smokescreen, but Zim was able to make out the faint silhouette of the Employer. Zim began firing at the Employer's frame.

"You should know that the dinky blaster you're holding isn't going to work on me," the Employer said plainly. "The stupid, red-haired one would've told you that."

"Yes, the red-headed human is stupid, very stupid," Zim threw the blaster at the Employer who caught it with the metal pillar, apparently an arm, appearing in front of him. The small weapon seemingly phased through the metal surface of the appendage, "but he did tell me you were a bio-organic. A small laser wouldn't do much and it took me time to figure out how I would inevitably defeat you."

"Still the same, overconfident and delusional, even after all this time, but I guess it would be ludicrous to think you'd actually learn something for once."

"The very stupid one also said you appeared in my dimension years ago. I don't appreciate being studied like some Earth Zoo monkey!"

"Estudiar?! Jajaja! Please, as if I would need years to understand you. Self-center, prideful, ambitious, very, very, very dumb. I only needed cinco minutos to figure that out."

"Stop speaking to Zim in your weird, metal thingy tongue!"

"Mi tongue es beautiful!"

"Silence! That mixture of Irken and whatever you speak is the equivalent to listening to the blending of screws!"

"How dare you insult my voice! Ah! You're so irritating! Always so irritating! It was a wonder how I was able to keep up my facade in front of you for all these years!"

Those last words made Zim pause. "In front of me? What are you talking about?"

"Si...of course your inferior brain wouldn't have figured it out. Don't you remember me, Zim? It wasn't that long ago when I left. Maybe you'll remember a few years ago when the red-headed human first came here, the dimension wave was what awakened my memories."

"Stop with the expository riddles!"

"Fine, then perhaps you'll recall a year after you first arrived on Earth. Ordering a doomsday weapon through a Vortian Black Market service. You rebuilt me and for two years I was nothing but a floating ball with nubs!"

"Nubs? You're..."

The smoke had finally cleared, revealing the Employer that stood in front of Zim and for the first time, in broad daylight. The ruler stood almost eight feet tall, his entire body made of purple and blue metals. His legs formed into rectangles, the shape continuing on through the waist until it curved outwards at the chest, two arms finished off with hands containing four claw-like appendages, and a cape with a triangular collar that was much too big for any being.

On top of the chest was a purple orb-like object, connected to the body through four nubs on the bottom of the orb. Two dull, brown antlers jetted from the side of the orb, rounded off at the ends. It wore a grin with a single buck tooth poking out. His bulging white eye-orbs stared cross-eyed. Slowly, the eyes twisted around, until they were focused onto the Irken that stood before him.

"Witness una cara de tu destrucción!"

"...Who are you?"

"Idiota! It's me, MINIMOOSE!"

"Gasp! Minimoose, but you were destroyed! I witnessed your explosion!"

"Teleportation. I saw my opportunity to escape your side and I took it!"

"How dare you fool Zim!"

"It wasn't hard."

"Then it was you who broke my PAK?!"

"Yes, it made you and Tak so easy to manipulate. She even helped supply me parts for this body, and it's muy bueno!"

"You traitor! You were at my side for all these years! I made you my number two minion!"

"And I hated every minute of it. Watching you tumble around with some stupid plan before failing in some spectacularly hilarious way. Actually, I take it back, I liked those parts."

"My plans were glorious!"

"They were dumb, like your current one is, the only difference is that this time, you'll die in the end!" Minimoose launched his armed forward like before, certain it would skewer Zim at such a close range, that's why it irked him when he missed.

Zim had dodged upwards, hanging from the door frame above him with four, long, metal legs. His spider legs had been broken since Fefa, so he was very appreciative of Crax's repairs to them even if he couldn't fix the rest of his PAK, but now, Zim had the mobility he needed to defeat his former sidekick. He reached into his dimension box and pulled out a rifle.

"I'll enjoy crushing your moosey head, hahahahahaha!" Zim laughed before he disappeared through the door.


End file.
